“Chasing petty happiness pushes greater
happiness out of reach.”
— Gretchen Rubin
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| Seen on my walk this morning |
“We either make ourselves miserable or we make
ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.”
The amount of work is the same.”
― Carlos Castaneda
Are we there yet?
With much of the US (and the rest of the world) either “social distancing” or “sheltering
in place,” all you extroverts and work-outside-your home folks must
be going crazy. While my day-to-day life hasn’t changed that much (I
admit I miss the library), I can certainly sympathize with the frustrations of
having your schedule turned upside down, and having to fill hours of the day
productively rather than stewing and worrying uselessly. Yes, of course, you
can binge watch TV or movies, or read, but here are a few more simple pleasures and everyday adventures for while you’re sheltering at home:
Bake something. Blow the dust off your bread machine (do
people still have those? I do!), mix up a batch of your family’s favorite
cookies, or use up the over-ripe bananas in banana bread. I find baking very calming,
not to mention yummy.
Take a walk in nature. Obviously, you should only do this if
you can do it safely, but there really is something so uplifting about getting
some fresh air and sunlight. (Plus, you probably need the exercise—see first
suggestion.)
Take an online art class. Laure Ferlita’s online watercolor classes are fun, accessible, and reasonably priced. She just launched a new one
last week, Spring Wreath. (No affiliation except friendship!)
Doodle with Mo Willems, Kennedy Center Education
Artist-in-Residence. Primarily aimed at kids, but still fun for adults! As he
says, “You might be isolated, but you’re not alone. You are an art maker. Let’s
make some art together.”
Watch and listen to the Berlin Philharmonic in their digital concert hall, free for 30 days, if you register by March 31. So soothing.
Participate in the Modern Mrs. Darcy Stay At Home Book Tour.
The first event was today, but there’s one every day this week, and if you
can’t join live, there will be replays available. Learn about it here.
Fill your mind with positive, encouraging, and uplifting
things, like:
This post, by Dani DiPirro of Positively Present.
This interview with author Rebecca Solnit. Her book A Paradise Built in Hell, “describes how in the aftermath of natural and
man-made disasters…human beings tend to respond by banding together, not
tearing apart.”
No doubt this is a hard and scary time. Let’s get through it
together. Share the things that are helping you in the comments below!
“We are not going to change the whole world, but we can
change ourselves and feel free as birds. We can be serene even in the midst of
calamities and, by our serenity, make others more tranquil. Serenity is
contagious. If we smile at someone, he or she will smile back. And a smile
costs nothing. We should plague everyone with joy. If we are to die in a
minute, why not die happily, laughing?”
—Sri S. Satchidananda, The Yoga Sutras
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| Luna and I are working at home |
Here in the U.S., things are getting weird. Fights are
breaking out over toilet paper, businesses and schools are closing, and a new
term has entered our vocabulary: social distancing. The COVID-19 coronavirus is
wreaking havoc all over the world.
And my library just closed. Now it’s getting serious.
I don’t mean to make light of this situation—it’s the
strangest, scariest thing that’s happened in my life, except for 9/11. I’m not
especially worried about catching the virus—I work from home and don’t spend
much time with people other than my family and close friends—but I do worry
about my husband and son, who work with the public, and my older family
members, some of whom have health issues. I’m also deeply concerned about what
will happen to the economy after this is all over.
Following the news has made me anxious and depressed at
times. But I remind myself that living is risky. Virus or no, any one of us
could be struck down at any time—we just don’t think about it that often. Our
attention turns to the fragility of our way of life, and life itself, when
something like this happens.
We always have a choice, however. We can let the coronavirus bring out the
worst in us, or the best. This is our chance to work together to reduce the
spread of the virus and help each other along the way. As usual, our attitudes
are key: can we remain positive in the face of fear and uncertainty? Can we
pause and notice the simple pleasures we’re usually too busy to see and savor?
Can we use this time to become more thoughtful and real?
While we’re walking this hard road, here are some things we
should remember:
- Follow instructions from authorities regarding social distancing—if we have the virus but don’t realize it, we can spread it.
- Don’t hoard. Buy only what we need and leave the rest for others.
- If possible, help those in our community who may be dangerously isolated, especially the elderly.
- Remember that this won’t last forever.
- Try to stay in the moment and avoid “awful-izing” about the future.
We can also remember those who are being hurt economically
by this shut down: small businesses, authors’ whose book tours have been
postponed or cancelled, artists and crafts people who make a portion of their
income through teaching or shows, performers who may not be paid when their
productions go dark, servers who miss out on tips, parents who can’t afford
childcare for kids who are unexpectedly out of school. Keep your eyes and ears
open for ways to help if you can.
And take care of our physical and mental health by finding
positive ways to release fear and tension. I stress cleaned my closet and
dresser this weekend, a job that has needed doing for months. I’m eyeing my
office next—it would benefit from a deep clean. And I think working out would
be a better way to cope with stress than eating barbecue flavor potato chips,
which I don’t really like that much anyway but they’re salty and crunchy
and…well, you get it.
When the weather and situation permits, step outside for a
breath of fresh air. Wash our hands more than usual (and apply hand cream
after!). If we find it’s getting to be too much for us, set limits on checking
updates and avoid inflammatory articles. And every time we read something
scary, look for a positive story—such as “Coronavirus sparks an epidemic of people helping people in Seattle.”
While we wait for world to settle down, here are some links
you might find helpful:
Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project has some
excellent suggestions about how to stay as happy and calm as we can be
in this situation here.
Modern Mrs. Darcy (whose own book tour has been cancelled)
is hosting a Stay at Home Book Tour. Sign up for this free series of events, which will take place over the week
beginning March 23.
Working at home? Click here to download Jamie Varon’s Work From Home Survival Guide.
How to Touch Your Face Less (since touching your face is one
of the main ways you can infect yourself).
And from Catching Happiness:
I sincerely hope you’re all healthy and safe. If you feel
like sharing, let me know in the comments (or hit reply if you’re receiving
this via email) how you’re coping with coronavirus fears.
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| Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash |
I don’t know why, but I love Leap Day (February 29). Maybe
it’s because it’s like being given the gift of an extra day, and who doesn’t
wish for one of those now and then? Maybe because Leap Day is a once-every-four-years pause. The usual 28 days of February are done, and March hasn’t started yet.
This year’s Leap Day sort of snuck up on me while I wasn’t
paying attention. I’d like to make it memorable, instead of a typical Saturday
of chores and whatnot, so today I’ll have to get my backside in gear so that
today’s work doesn’t bleed into tomorrow, as has been known to happen. Or I’ll
have to let go of something—or both. Either way, I plan to celebrate Leap Day,
but not by making it into a full-blown, drive-myself-nutty holiday, complete
with its own to-do list and 10-point plan. Rather, I have two simple
suggestions for how to celebrate Leap Day:
1. Be kind to yourself. Sleep in a little, take a walk in
nature (if your weather allows this), spend time doing something that feeds
your soul. Eat some healthy and delicious food. Give someone a hug. Even when
the world feels dark and scary, most of us still have so much to appreciate and
enjoy, so many people (and animals) to love. I’m going to try to fill it with
simple pleasures—things like starting a jigsaw puzzle, reading (of course), and
enjoying our current cooler weather.
2. Be kind to others. Smile, hold a door open, allow another driver to merge into your lane, thank someone, post an uplifting thought on social media. A little kindness sends ripples out into the world—imagine what it would feel like if everyone were kind just for this one day. Maybe at least some of them would continue to be kind the next day, and the next. (Click here to see 10 ways to spread kindness.)
2. Be kind to others. Smile, hold a door open, allow another driver to merge into your lane, thank someone, post an uplifting thought on social media. A little kindness sends ripples out into the world—imagine what it would feel like if everyone were kind just for this one day. Maybe at least some of them would continue to be kind the next day, and the next. (Click here to see 10 ways to spread kindness.)
If we use the pause of Leap Day to recalibrate kindness, to
ourselves and to others, we’ll all be a lot happier.
It’s just a suggestion.
How do you celebrate Leap Day?
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| Lisa Unger with yours truly |
It’s been far too long since I allowed myself either an
artist’s date or a Field Trip Friday, so today I rolled them into one and
headed to Tampa for a Friends of the Library event featuring bestselling author
Lisa Unger.
Unger is the author of 17 novels, her books have been
published in 26 languages, and she’s been nominated for multiple awards,
notably two Edgars* in 2019, an honor only a few authors can claim. She describes her work as “character-driven psychological suspense,” and I can attest that her books are hard to put down. I've only
read a few of them, so I was excited to see how many I have left to enjoy. My next read will be the signed copy of her most recent book, The Stranger Inside, that came home with me!
After we enjoyed lunch provided by local restaurant La Segunda, Unger shared some of her background and her writing process. Then she
took questions. After her talk and the question and answer period, she signed
books and chatted with attendees. Her husband kindly took the photo of us
together that you see above.
A few things that I found especially interesting:
Her family moved a lot and Unger was frequently the new kid.
“The page was my first home,” she said. (Me, too!)
She’s been a writer all her life (“I don’t remember a time
in my life when I didn’t define myself that way,” she said), though she didn't
think she’d be able to write for a living, a belief influenced by her engineer
father who didn’t think writing was a job.
She inherited her love of story from her librarian mother,
who shared all types of books and movies with her daughter as she was growing
up. Of her mother’s bookshelves, Unger said, “If I could reach it, I could read
it.”
After attending college in New York, where she studied all
kinds of writing from poetry, to screenwriting, to journalism, Unger took a job
in book publishing, because it was the closest thing she could find to her
dream. She worked in publicity, helping authors with book tours and planning
events, and was so good at it that her time available to write kept shrinking.
Eventually, she had an epiphany. “I was in the wrong job and
I was with the wrong guy. I wasn’t doing the thing I wanted to do. I’d never
even tried.” She decided she could live with failure, but not a “slow fade to
nothing.” She kept her job (but broke up with that guy), and started writing
every day, making it a priority to work on a novel she’d started at age
19. One and a half years later, at age
29, she finished.
When Unger completed her novel and went about trying to find
an agent for it, she admits she was scared. It wasn’t just her book that was on
the line, it was her identity: “Who am I if I am not this?” she said.
Fortunately for all of us, that book found an agent, and that agent got Unger a
two-book deal. Angel Fire, the first of four books in the Lydia Strong
series, was published in 2002. (Miscione is Unger’s maiden name.)
It takes her nine months to a year to complete a first
draft, followed by several more drafts, as well as “the second part of the
creative process,” which she explained is the discussion and incorporation of
notes she receives from her husband, editor, and agent. These help her
manuscript to become the best possible book. It takes another year between when
the book is first turned in until it’s ready for publishing. She never opens
the finished book, because by then there’s nothing she can change about it!
She met her husband at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West. It was love
at first sight, at least on her part, she said. They’ve been married for 20
years, and have a 14-year-old daughter.
On writing books:
A lot of people want to write a book, even make plans to
write one. It’s an accomplishment just to finish a manuscript. Whether or not
it gets published.
You should do it because you cannot not do it.
Getting published is beside the point. It’s always about the work, the writing.
I’ve been feeling very blah about writing lately (witness
the lack of entries on this here blog), and while I’ve been making it a point
to sit down to write something nearly every day, I’ve definitely been
lacking a spark. I’m so glad I took the time to go to this author talk, because
not only was Unger herself charming, warm, and easy to approach, she inspired
me to come home and sit down in front of my laptop. It’s a start.
*Edgar Allan Poe Awards, presented annually by the Mystery Writers of America
To learn more about Lisa Unger and her books, please visit
lisaunger.com, or her Amazon author’s page.
Regular readers of Catching Happiness know that I usually
choose a Word of the Year to guide me. This year is no different—in fact, I
have two words that I will be keeping in the forefront of my mind as I navigate
2020.
This year, I’ve chosen the words free and soften
as my words of the year.
Free
Initially, I chose free because I’m going to do something
this year that will make me feel more free—I’ve decided to stop coloring my
hair.* I got my first gray hair at age 21, and though it took many years for
more grays to appear, I’ve been coloring my hair for a good long time now, and
I’m tired of the process. After I read about a possible link between breast cancer and permanent hair dye, that was it for me. I’m done. I have an aunt who
had breast cancer, and I don’t need any more risk factors.
Thinking about no longer coloring my hair led me to thinking
about what else I’d like to be free of. Things like expectations, caring what
other people think about how I look and what I do, stories I tell myself that
hold me back from having the happy life I want. I want to feel free to explore,
expand, give, express my creativity, enjoy my simple pleasures and everyday
adventures.
When I looked up the definitions of free, I found some
additional food for thought. The online definitions, from Merriam-Webster,
included: enjoying civil and political liberty; enjoying personal freedom;
choosing or capable of choosing for oneself; made, done or given voluntarily or
spontaneously; relieved from or lacking something, especially something painful
or burdensome; not bound or contained by force; having no obligations or
commitments; not impeded or obstructed or restricted; capable of moving in any
direction; frank/open; overly familiar or forward in action or attitude. As a
verb, free means to relieve or rid of what restrains, confines, restricts or
embarrasses.
Soften
Soften came to me one day when I was struggling to make
something work. When life doesn’t immediately cooperate, my tendency is to
tense up, struggle, and use force when I should soften and ease up. Maybe even
let go. I’m often reminded of this in yoga class when I have a muscle cramp and
must soften my pose or come out of it altogether. Softening—my attitude and my
actions—causes me to slow down, and often averts an impending accident
Words working together
I believe that the combination of free and soften indicates
to me that I want to explore being more flexible and relaxed. How this plays
out in real life, with its work and responsibilities, remains to be seen. How
can I have self-discipline but not too much, also remains to be seen.
Did you choose a word of the year this year? What do you
think it means for you?
*Apparently, “going gray” is currently A Thing, with books
and blogs devoted to the process. While I’m not planning to share much of my
own transition publicly, I’ve heard that the process brings up a lot of
emotions and beliefs about femininity, aging, etc., so it’s possible that I
will eventually write about it. (And, of course, when my hair is fully
transformed, I’ll have to post a new profile pic!)
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| Photo by Vika Fleisher on Unsplash |
Is it too far into the year to tell you Happy New Year? It
feels like 2020 has gotten off to a sleepy start for me, personally. I had one
writing assignment to wrap up from the end of 2019, and now that it’s done, I
can catch my breath and do some reflecting and planning. I went through my
calendar/planner from 2019 and jotted down notable events and thought about the
accompanying emotions. It was a full year.
I’d still like to set some new goals, and do some additional fun visualizing stuff—and hopefully, I’ll get to that soon. I’ve been jotting down possibilities, and will fill out my “20 for 2020” list to hang on my bulletin board. (Make your own, or download a free printable, like this one—no affiliation.)
I’d still like to set some new goals, and do some additional fun visualizing stuff—and hopefully, I’ll get to that soon. I’ve been jotting down possibilities, and will fill out my “20 for 2020” list to hang on my bulletin board. (Make your own, or download a free printable, like this one—no affiliation.)
If you’re still in a contemplative mood, here are a few
recent Internet discoveries I’ve found thought-provoking or otherwise worthwhile:
While the New Year is already here, you can always decide to
get rid of one (or more) of these “8 Things to Get Rid of Before the New Year."
One very simple way to review the old year and approach the
new year, from Sandra Pawula’s (Always Well Within) Wild Arisings newsletter:
“I began the 2019 review process informally a few weeks ago by jotting down a heading in my journal called ‘Good Things 2019.’ I placed things on the list as they came to me day-by-day day. I also put in a second heading around the same time called ‘Let Go Of 2019,’ which I approached in a similar fashion.”
I love this quote, from Rainbow Rowell
When you make your list of things to do in the new
week/month/year, do you plan for joy, not just work or accomplishment?
According to, Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of Joyful, we should! In “Planfor Joy, Not Just Goals,” she writes,
“When we’re children, joy seems effortless because someone has planned it for us. As we get older, we can either believe that life has gotten less joyful, or we can take charge of planning it for ourselves.”
She continues later in the post,
“Scheduling in joy is making a promise to yourself that it will actually happen. Productivity experts suggest putting everything that matters to you on your calendar. If you schedule business meetings and exercise, you are calling these out as important. So why not also give your joy this same weight by putting game nights or reading before bed into your calendar too?”
I’ve already started participating in the Unread Shelf Project. Things have Gotten Out of Hand in the purchased-but-not-yet-read yet
book department.
It wouldn’t be Link Love without a post from Raptitude.
Check out “How to Go Deeper in 2020.” Deeper was my word of the year in 2017
and I’m tempted to revisit it.
Just discovered the delightful NPR Tiny Desk Concerts. I hadn’t heard of 99 percent of the musicians represented here, but I’ve enjoyed every tiny concert I’ve listened to.
What are some of your plans for 2020? I’d love to hear
about them in the comments.
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| A few of the decade's journals! |
Honestly, until I started seeing it everywhere, I hadn’t
given one minute’s thought to the end of 2019 being the end of a decade! Now I
feel like not only do I have to review the year, I have to examine the decade.
What have I learned? How have I changed? How am I different now than I was in
2009? You know, simple little stuff like that.
So I pulled out the many, many journals I’ve kept over the
past 10 years and skimmed some highlights. As I’m sure everyone has already
noticed in their own lives, a lot happens in a decade!
To name just a few of the things that changed:
Ten years ago, we had a teenager at home. I was barely
working as a freelance writer and editor, and I didn’t yet have a blog or a
writer’s website. We had an entirely different set of pets than we have now,
except for Tank. All of my parents and stepparents were living, and two of my
grandmothers. I had yet to pick up a watercolor brush.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve read hundreds of books, seen
multiple movies and touring Broadway musicals, traveled many wonderful places,
experienced a couple of depressive episodes, endured home renovations, and
exchanged my old car for a new one.
My experiences over the past 10 years have likely been
similar to yours. Though the details might differ, we are more alike than we
are different when it comes to the things we value most. I wish more people
would remember this.
The past 10 years have been full to bursting with life in all
its “good” and “bad” manifestations. I’m so grateful that I started Catching
Happiness at the end of 2009, because it helped me better focus on what was
happening in my life, at least partly because I would later mine my experiences
for post material. And the topic I chose—simple pleasures and everyday
adventures—was calculated to help me find and savor more of the good in life,
as well as, I hoped, add to the sum total of the positive in the world. I
wanted the blog to be a bright spot for anyone who needed one.
Over the next few days, I’ll continue thinking over not only
what has happened during the past year, but also what has happened over the
past 10 years. And since a new decade seems like a hopeful thing, I might even
start looking forward to the next 10 years (if I’m lucky) of simple
pleasures and everyday adventures life has in store.
When you look back the past 10 years of your life,
what strikes you? What milestones have you passed, what joys and sorrows have
enriched your life? And what are your expectations for the next 10 years?
I hope 2020 brings you many simple pleasures and
everyday adventures, and, of course, much happiness. See you in the New Year!
You blinked, didn’t you, and now it’s December. At least, that's how it felt to me. the end of a year always seems to accelerate out of control.
I just
wrapped up the 2019 Gratitude Challenge, sponsored by Dani DiPirro of
Positively Present. Even though I didn’t post every day, I did check the prompt
and think about what it meant to me. I appreciate the chance to pause and
reflect on what I’m most grateful for. Here are a few of my favorite prompts from the 2019 #Gratitude Challenge:
Day 1: Growth.
Growth can be uncomfortable, but the alternative is stagnation. I’m grateful that each season and stage of life has its own opportunities for growth.
Day 6: Creativity.
I just came across a statement saying that vulnerability is
the cradle of creativity and so many of the emotions and experiences we want
from life. Though I hadn't thought about it quite like that, when we create
something, whether it's a painting, a photo, a meal, a handcrafted quilt, etc.,
we are also offering a part of ourselves to the world. I'm grateful for the
chance to grow more vulnerable and human with every offering, for the support
of people who are gentle with me, and especially for all those who risk
exposing their tender inner being when they share their creativity with us.
Day 18: Books
Today's #gratitude30 prompt
is “books,” so get comfortable because I have a lot to say!
Reading is my favorite simple pleasure, and I'm grateful to everyone who has a hand in creating books, and to those who point me in the direction of good reads (especially @literarycat and @annebogel). I'm grateful for the contented hours spent trying to figure out whodunit (mystery is my favorite genre), getting to know a family much different from my own (Random Family, by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc), or typing 12 pages of notes on the topic of habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear). And I'm so, so grateful for the library system that provides me with so many of the books I read. This irresistible little edition of Slouching Toward Bethlehem from Picador Modern Classics came home with me from my most recent library visit.
Reading is my favorite simple pleasure, and I'm grateful to everyone who has a hand in creating books, and to those who point me in the direction of good reads (especially @literarycat and @annebogel). I'm grateful for the contented hours spent trying to figure out whodunit (mystery is my favorite genre), getting to know a family much different from my own (Random Family, by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc), or typing 12 pages of notes on the topic of habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear). And I'm so, so grateful for the library system that provides me with so many of the books I read. This irresistible little edition of Slouching Toward Bethlehem from Picador Modern Classics came home with me from my most recent library visit.
Day 29: Dreams.
I'm grateful that so many of my dreams have come true—more
than I ever “dreamed” possible. From travel (this shot was taken at Chateau de
Beynac in France), to owning a horse, to working as a freelance writer. I'm
especially grateful to my husband who has supported and encouraged my dreams
for 30-plus years. And I'm grateful that I still have dreams left to chase!
Day 30: Self.
e e cummings wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and become
who you really are” and he was right! Though I'm grateful that I mostly have
the means and freedom to become my true self, I'm still working on the courage
part.
I hope your November held many things to be grateful for! I’d
love to hear about your favorites in the comments below.
See all my posts for the Gratitude Challenge on Instagram
here.
Since then, a post has gone live on Catching Happiness 1,095
times, including today. That’s a lot of words!
Over the course of that 10 years, I redesigned the blog’s appearance (see image below), and started a newsletter. I read hundreds of books,
lost animals and people I loved, welcomed a new puppy, burned through a laptop,
watched my son grow up and leave home, restarted my career as a freelance
writer and editor, and traveled to some amazing places. Basically I experienced
what anyone of my generation experienced as they moved through this particular
stage of life; I just chose to share a bit of it publicly.
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| Original Catching Happiness header |
 |
| Little old Scout |
I’ve also shared information on positive psychology, the
Danish practice of hygge (which seems to be everywhere now!), written many
posts about books and reading (possibly my favorite simple pleasure), and even
shared my love of a frosty shake known as a Black Cow. None of my posts ever
“went viral,” and by far the most viewed post has been “Happiness A to Z—26 Things That Make Me Happy.”
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| Baby Prudy |
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| Baby Luna |
What’s next?
I am so grateful for all your kind comments through the
years. I’ve made many online friendships through Catching Happiness, and
through reading other people’s blogs. It’s been a fantastic experience and I’ve
met with nothing but kindness and friendship. Not everyone can say that of
their online experiences.
But it’s time for things to change. What started out as a
way for me to explore a more personal style of writing grew into a project that
has consumed many of my hours. It’s been a labor of love and I don’t regret one
minute of it, but as I’ve taken on more freelance work over the past two years
I now have less time to spend on Catching Happiness. I don’t want to say
goodbye…but I also feel like I’ve said just about all I have to say about
simple pleasures and everyday adventures!
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| Tank and friend |
Previously I’ve tried to stick to a twice-a-week schedule,
except when taking a deliberate break from blogging, but I’m not going to hold
myself to that going forward. I’ll only post when I feel like I have something
special to share—when inspiration strikes. It may be once a week, or it may be
less frequently. I’m not sure yet what my posting will ultimately look like.
I’m also going to look into assembling a “Best of” compilation of my favorite
posts, possibly for sale as an ebook.
Staying in touch
If you subscribe to posts (see the sign-up info on the right
side of the page), you’ll always know when something new is published. You can
also follow Catching Happiness on a feed reader like feedly.com (basic version
is free, and I have no affiliation with them). I’m planning to continue the
Happy Little Thoughts newsletter for the rest of 2019, but I may discontinue it
in 2020—I haven’t decided.
If you want to stay in touch between posts, you can always
connect with me through email or social media. Click here for more information
about that.
Thank you all for 10 years of friendship, growth, happiness, and, of course, simple pleasures and everyday adventures!
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| Photo by Illiya Vjestica on Unsplash |
Guess what? There’s a special Catching Happiness milestone
coming up this week. I normally post poems and quotes on Fridays, but since I
plan to write a special post for Friday, I’m sharing this lovely poem today
instead.
Introduction by Ted Kooser: Here's a poem by Holly J.
Hughes, who lives and writes in Washington state, about finding joy in what's
before us. I found it in Poetry of Presence: An Anthology of
Mindfulness Poems, published by Grayson Books of West Hartford, CT. Ms.
Hughes' most recent book of poetry is Hold Fast, (Empty Bowl
Press, 2019).
Mind Wanting More
Only a beige slat of sun
above the horizon, like a shade
pulled not quite down. Otherwise,
clouds. Sea rippled here and
there. Birds reluctant to fly.
The mind wants a shaft of sun to
stir the grey porridge of clouds,
an osprey to stitch sea to sky
with its barred wings, some dramatic
music: a symphony, perhaps
a Chinese gong.
above the horizon, like a shade
pulled not quite down. Otherwise,
clouds. Sea rippled here and
there. Birds reluctant to fly.
The mind wants a shaft of sun to
stir the grey porridge of clouds,
an osprey to stitch sea to sky
with its barred wings, some dramatic
music: a symphony, perhaps
a Chinese gong.
But the mind always
wants more than it has—
one more bright day of sun,
one more clear night in bed
with the moon; one more hour
to get the words right; one
more chance for the heart in hiding
to emerge from its thicket
in dried grasses—as if this quiet day
with its tentative light weren't enough,
as if joy weren't strewn all around.
wants more than it has—
one more bright day of sun,
one more clear night in bed
with the moon; one more hour
to get the words right; one
more chance for the heart in hiding
to emerge from its thicket
in dried grasses—as if this quiet day
with its tentative light weren't enough,
as if joy weren't strewn all around.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2004 by Holly J. Hughes, “Mind Wanting More,” from Poetry of
Presence: An Anthology of Mindfulness Poems, (Grayson Books, 2017). Poem
reprinted by permission of Holly J. Hughes and the publisher. Introduction
copyright ©2019 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted
Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the
Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
For the past nine years, Dani DiPirro of Positively
Present has hosted an annual Gratitude Challenge in the month of November—and
I've joined in most of those years. I can honestly say I’ve been looking
forward to this year's challenge—as a way to remind myself to think about and
appreciate both the large and small things I’m grateful for
According to the experts who study positive psychology,
“…gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.
Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences,
improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong
relationships."
I'll have what they're having!
I’ll post my daily responses to the prompts on Instagram,
and I’ll do a review post on Catching Happiness at the end of the month. Let me
know if you want to join the challenge, and we can follow each other’s
progress! Use the hashtag #Gratitude30. And, of course, you may choose to participate privately if that feels
more comfortable.
 |
| Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash |
- Still waiting for fall to make an appearance
- Bathing and clipping Tank this week, since he’s grown a lovely and unnecessary winter coat already
- Some real “circle of life” stuff happening (subscribe to the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter for more details) among my circle of friends
- Marking the first anniversary of the death of my father
- Preparing for the 2019 Gratitude Challenge, sponsored by Positively Present, which starts Friday
- Little bit stunned that it’s almost November
- Happy that yesterday’s car trouble turned out to be a dead
battery and not something more serious
expensive
What will your week hold?
 |
| Oh to be in New Hampshire... |
Rumor has it that it’s fall. Tell that to Florida’s weather.
I’m sure those of you shoveling snow already want to shoot me, but I’m still
wearing shorts.
It’s not pretty.
Thank goodness for air conditioning and the Internet. Here
are some fun and interesting things I’ve discovered recently. Hope you enjoy!
Have a pumpkin spice latte for me.
Check out my most recent article, “A Heart Full of Horses,”
in America’s Horse here.
There is good in the world. I loved this sweet story.
Laure Ferlita shared this article, “Enoughness: A Gift From France” with me a couple of weeks ago. This thought stayed with me: When
you have enough, why hustle for more? As the author asks, “But here’s the big
question: do we have more of what matters? More joy? More rest? More
connection?”
Speaking of France, if you’re looking for an opportunity to
explore the countryside, connect with likeminded souls, and discover how
creativity can add depth to your life, join Laure Ferlita at the enchanting Le Vieux Couvent in 2020. Registration is now open. (This is the same art retreat/workshop I attended in 2018 and it was fabulous!)
Forget my house, I want to declutter my mind. Here
are some tips from Happiful magazine. I’m working on number one and
number five in particular.
As my work has gotten busier, I’ve been thinking a lot about
how I use my time. In “How to Declare Time Independence,” Laura Vanderkam
writes, “Time passes whether or not we think about how we’re spending it, so
it’s easy to spend time mindlessly. Days go by and years go by, always filled
with something. The question is whether these things that fill our time are
necessary, meaningful, or enjoyable.”
Some great lessons here: “8 Little Wake-Up Calls You Need to Receive Before It’s Too Late.” Simple and true.
This little guy made me smile. I just wanted to hug him.
(Not a good idea.)
This cracked me up:
Happy Friday!
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”
—Henry
Miller
As I was pressing Publish on last Monday’s “Simple Pleasures—Art and Flowers on the Maine Midcoast,” I realized that I’ve been sharing
what I enjoyed on our trip to New Hampshire and Maine without sharing how
those places and experiences affected me—and have continued to affect me, even
now that I’ve been home for a couple of weeks.
Aside from the relaxation and fun of the actual trip, I’ve
found most trips leave traces behind: lasting effects on my happiness, a
deepening of my understanding of the world around me, and even sometimes a
change in how I live. Here are five ways travel affects me once I return home:
Spurs curiosity
Traveling reveals just how much I don’t know about the
world. I often don’t know how things work in a new place, occasionally I don’t
speak the language, and can easily find myself in a position of vulnerability.
Excellent for reminding me that I don’t know it all, and that there are many
ways to live and many reasons for doing things a certain way. It’s a perfect
opportunity to be quiet and observe, and to ask questions.
I often come home wanting to learn about something I saw or
experienced on vacation, also. Since I love to read, some of our excursions
have been to authors’ homes, inspiring me to read or reread their work. Seeing
one of Robert Frost’s homes has made me pull out a collection of his poetry I
haven’t looked at for years. Visiting Mark Twain’s home in Connecticut spurred
my interest in his writing, including his doorstop-sized autobiography.
I love exploring natural places and gardens, and wonder
about various plants we see—what are they? Will they grow in Florida?
Encourages exercise
There’s nothing like a hilly hike the first day out to bring
to your attention that your job is sedentary, and frankly, my dear, you’ve let
that exercise program slide. Most of my trips involve exploring, whether it’s
the hills of San Francisco, the city streets of Paris, or the hiking trails in
New Hampshire. Exploring on foot is great…so long as your body can take it. Our
recent trip was a big wake-up call—I need to make some changes to my fitness
routine. In other words, I need to get back into having a fitness
routine.
Rekindles creative drive
I almost always come home wanting to sketch more, take more
photographs, write poetry, or add more creative flourishes to my non-fiction
writing. Travel refills my creative well. This time, I came home wanting
desperately to make something beautiful. (Maybe because we saw so much
beauty?) Much of my writing work is service-oriented, which I love, but it
isn’t necessarily beautiful. I need to find an outlet for that part of me that
wants to make things pretty (see below).
Inspires us to add beauty to everyday life
A trip to England many years ago ignited a desire to plant flowers for cutting and grow pretty window boxes. I very much enjoyed aperitif in France, though without having someone to prepare it for me, I haven’t had much luck in instituting the practice. I even enjoy watching how people dress—as a work-at-home writer, I most often wear shorts or yoga pants and a t-shirt, so my fashion sense is, shall we say, stunted. |
| Aperitif at Le Vieux Couvent |
Breaks the chain of bad habits
At home, I watch too much TV, eat too many unhealthy snacks,
and get lazy about various life maintenance tasks. When I’m on a trip, life is
distilled down to its essence. I have a bare minimum of things with me, and my
to-do list becomes very short and sweet. I have time for the things I enjoy
most. Suddenly reruns of Castle hold no appeal and I’m too busy doing
something interesting to snack mindlessly. When I’m not actively exploring, I
read, write in my journal, or sketch.
After I return home, I usually have a burst of energy and
good intentions. At least for a while, my bad habits are reduced. The trick is
holding on to good intentions, making better habits easier than falling back
into the old bad habits. I haven’t entirely licked this problem, but I’m
working on it.
Life is short, but it is wide, as the saying goes. There are
so many good and interesting things in the world, so many simple pleasures and
everyday adventures to discover—and traveling reminds me to look for those
things, and incorporate them into daily life after I’m home.
What lasting traces do your travels leave behind?
“What, then, is a traveling
mind-set? Receptivity might be said to be its chief characteristic. Receptive,
we approach new places with humility. We carry with us no rigid ideas about
what is or is not interesting. We irritate locals because we stand in traffic
islands and narrow streets and admire what they take to be unremarkable small
details. We risk getting run over because we are intrigued by the roof of a
government building or an inscription on a wall. We find a supermarket or a
hairdresser’s shop unusually fascinating. We dwell at length on the layout of a
menu or the clothes of the presenters on the evening news. We are alive to the
layers of history beneath the present and take notes and photographs.
“Home, by contrast, finds us more
settled in our expectations. We feel assured that we have discovered everything
interesting about our neighborhood, primarily by virtue of our having lived
there a long time. It seems inconceivable that there could be anything new to
find in a place where we have been living for a decade or more. We have become
habituated and therefore blind to it.”
—Alain de Botton, The Art of Travel
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