Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

And just like that, here we are smack in the middle of 2025. A good time to review how the year is going—if you have any special goals or plans, how are you progressing? Has this year held any surprises?

I feel a little weird doing a mid-year review because I didn’t set any big personal goals in January that need to be checked on. (Did I? *Checks notes* No, I did not. And that “setting goals by quarter idea? Nope, didn’t do that, either.) Still, I think it will be helpful to review what I have done, and think about what I might like to do during the remainder of the year.

Here’s what I did: Other than the normal tasks of life and a bare minimum of writing, the first six months of 2025 have been devoted to preparing and selling our family home of 28 years, and getting settled in our new home.

That’s it, and that’s OK. Most of my time has gone to coordinating (and helping with) home repairs and remodeling, unpacking, organizing, and simply figuring things out. Even though I love my new home, moving is stressful. It takes an emotional and physical toll. I love to check off goals, but some seasons it’s not possible. My personal projects and goals had to step back while I dealt with the admittedly major projects of selling a house and moving.

Looking back over my calendar I also see plenty of meet-ups with friends, a couple of movies with my husband, regular walks and yoga sessions. I’ve read a lot of good books and seen a favorite author in person. And—control your excitement—I renewed my driver’s license. This has been hanging over my head because I had to appear in person with multiple proofs of my existence so I could become Real I.D. compliant. It was a hassle, but it’s done.

All of this is the stuff of a busy season of normal life. Being able to find satisfaction in it is a wonderful thing. I’m learning that I don’t have to check a flurry of personal projects off a list to feel contentment.

25 in 25

That said, I do enjoy setting goals and accomplishing projects. I’d like to be able to have more to show for 2025 than just getting settled after the move.

While I didn’t lay out a bunch of goals to work towards at the beginning of the year, I did fill out Gretchen Rubin’s “25 in 25” list with a combination of things big and small, fun and tedious, that I’d like to have done by the end of the year. I’ve completed 10 out of my 25, including “Finish Agatha in Order project” and “Design and install a closet system for our bedroom closet.”  I’m 90+ percent done with two more. Not bad, about halfway done at the mid-year mark. 

Word of the year

Ease was and is a great choice to guide me in 2025. It reminds me not to pack too much into my days, weeks, and months. It also encourages me to look for the ease-ful way to approach various challenges. Instead of rushing headlong into whatever-it-is, take a beat to consider what might be the most mental- and physical-energy saving way to proceed. Also consider whether that whatever-it-is is necessary at all. Especially during summer, I’m better off conserving my energy for what is truly important. When I have a choice of activities, I consider which one feels more aligned with ease.

Now what?

Which brings me to what’s next. We’re not done with house stuff (will we ever be?!). There’s a leak in a wall which pushed our prospective bathroom reno higher on the schedule. We need cabinetry installed in our laundry room. My office is still a work in progress, and I still have some sorting and storing to do. My husband and I need to take at least a weekend getaway to completely disconnect from all of the above. I still want to go to California to visit family, but that has been pushed into the fall because of a family member’s surgery.

After so much turmoil over the past couple of years, I want to feel calm, joyful, and at least a little bit in control of my days. I want to be relaxed, but also productive. Maybe that means choosing just one or two goals or projects, rather than 12 which is my usual tendency. Concentrate on the house and on scheduling that weekend getaway.  Fight the urge to commit to more. For July, August, and September, keeping it simple and low-key feels right. October, November, and December will have a different vibe, usually a more energetic one, and I hope and plan to capture that energy.

I share my goals and mid-year reviews here because I think part of a happy life includes, as Gretchen Rubin puts it, an atmosphere of growth. I like sharing progress with you, my online friends, because I hope it sparks ideas for what could add happiness to your life. I share missteps because that’s real life, no matter what social media tells you. Mistakes Will Be Made. We all fall short from time to time, we all sometimes take a different path from the one we thought we’d be on, sometimes on purpose and sometimes because of life being life-y.

If you’d like to share what you’ve been up to so far in 2025, please do so in the comments below. I’d love to hear how it’s going, and what plans you have for the remainder of the year!

Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

“A Night can NEVER defeat the Sunrise.”

—Sumit Sharma

This past week has been the first in months that didn’t contain a huge number of extra “have-tos” on top of my normal activities that keep our lives functioning. I’ve allowed myself to slow down a little…but just a little, because there are sooo many things in progress that need to be moved along now that I only have one house to manage. We’ve lived here six months today (!), and 99 percent of the boxes are unpacked. Some of the remaining boxes are waiting on additional storage we need to add to the house (laundry room cabinets, for example). Not bad, but not finished, either.

Finishing can be hard

I’ve noticed that I have a hard time finishing larger or more complex projects, and unpacking is no different. Sometimes one small hurdle will derail me—it doesn’t have to be a major obstacle or unexpected event, just something that requires extra time or thought. Sometimes it’s decision fatigue. Where should the photo albums go? How about these puzzles? Where will I keep the extra pet food and toys? I’ll get one area of the house unpacked and organized, only to find piles from another part of the house stacking up there while I work on that other area!

So this week I devoted my spare time to finishing as much unpacking as I can. And I’ve discovered that there is definite joy in finishing. It feels so good to walk into my bedroom and no longer have any boxes stacked on the floor, and to be able to actually close the closet door in my office!

A work in progress

This week, not only have I (re)learned how good it feels to finish, I also (re)discovered that finishing often takes a lot less time than I think. Sorting the box of art supplies and putting them into the new storage containers I’d bought probably took less than an hour, for example.

It helped to break things down into small tasks, use a timer, and give myself permission to change activities when decision fatigue began to kick in. I also kept at it all week even when new and necessary projects appeared. I’ve rewarded myself with cold drinks and reading a book, but also with the vision of what it will feel like to be done. Completely unpacked and settled.  I’m not quite there, but getting close.

Closing the tabs in my brain

When too many things are in progress, I joke about having too many tabs open in my brain. I don’t feel internally peaceful when multiple things are undone or in progress. Eventually it’s more uncomfortable to leave things as they are than to actually finish. That’s what this week has been all about: finishing what can be finished.

If you’re not unpacking (lucky you), what projects do you have in the works? Are you making progress or are you stalled? Are you good at starting but not so good at finishing (raises hand)? What step could you take right now to move forward? 

Photo by Anna Demianenko on Unsplash

I know it’s not technically summer yet (it officially begins June 20), but it’s summer in Florida. (It’s almost always summer in Florida, but that’s another story.) I’m bracing myself for getting ready for summer by planning things to look forward to, simple pleasures and everyday adventures to make this season bearable, if not actually happy.

We do summer in Florida the way those who live in cold climates do winter: we spend a lot of time escaping and working around the weather.

We’re not here yet, but it’s only a matter of time:

CleanMemes.com

Summer fun for the weather-impaired

First on my list is: coordinate a California visit to see my aunt, my stepmom…and my mom’s grave.

Watch Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning in the theater with my husband. Looking for other movies to see in the theater as well. 

Take an in-person yoga class.

Stay at the beach for the weekend with my husband—we’ve been trying to do this for a couple of years, but I’m confident we’ll actually get there this summer. When you actually stay at the beach, you can get out early before it’s as hot as the surface of the sun, or watch the sunset at night, then go back into air-conditioned comfort.

Make key lime pie ice cream.

Do at least one jigsaw puzzle.

Try some new recipes because I’m sick of what I make for dinner. Though I wouldn’t normally class this as “fun,” I’m trying to find ways to make feeding ourselves more enjoyable.

Rewatch some of our favorite movies on the new TV we bought when we moved.

Celebrate my father-in-law’s 90^th birthday!

Check out our new neighborhood pool. Maybe with a cold drink and a book if they have umbrellas (I can’t remember if they do).

As always, I’ll be getting together with friends, eating summer fruit like crazy, and, of course, reading. Which brings me to…

What I’ll be reading

I finally finished the Agatha in Order project that I started back in August of 2023. I thoroughly enjoyed my leisurely trip through her work, rediscovering favorites, and acknowledging that a few simply didn’t appeal. Now that I’m done with that, I’ve decided it’s time to get a handle on my TBR shelf again. When we moved, I lost the space I used to store my bought-but-as-yet-unread books and let’s just say, my new TBR shelf location is overflowing. Despite the fact that I’ve slowed down new purchases considerably since this post, one of my 25 in 25 goals was to read or otherwise dispose of half of my TBR shelf. I bought these books because I wanted to read them; maybe it’s time to, you know, read them? 

But.                                                                                        

(There’s always a “but.”)

When I looked through my TBR books, I realized many of them are non-fiction, very long, or one of a series that I’m not ready to read yet. I still hope to make some progress.  

Here’s a tentative list of what I want to read this summer in no particular order (TBR shelf selections marked with *):

*Kristin Lavransdatter, Sigrid Unset. This is a chunky book I’ve wanted to read for a while, and I bought a copy so I wouldn’t have to worry about library due dates. I’m going to start it soon, and if I don’t like it, I’ll put it aside. If I do like it, it might take me all summer to read!

*Death and the Dutch Uncle, Patricia Moyes. A book series I enjoy that the library doesn’t have. I’ve collected most of my copies from Paperback Swap. 

Native Nations: A Millennium in North America, Kathleen DuVal. I have a growing interest in learning about the United States’ indigenous people, and this book won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for history (tied with Edda L. Fields-Black’s COMBEE: Harriet Tubman, the Combahee River Raid, and Black Freedom During the Civil War). 

Run for the Hills, Kevin Wilson. It’s described as “a touching and generous romp of a novel,” which sounds perfect for summer reading. 

Ordinary Time: Lessons Learned While Staying Put, Annie B. Jones. I’m all for honoring the ordinary. 

Heartwood, Amity Gage. Suspense on the Appalachian Trail. This sounds so good! I’m number 69 on the hold list at the library, but hopefully it will come in before the summer ends.

*Daisy Miller and/or Washington Square, Henry James (both books are in the edition I have). According to Goodreads, “Each work weaves an intricate tale of marriage, money, and manners.” 

*Travels with My Aunt, Graham Greene. I’ve not read anything by Graham Greene, and this sounded interesting. 

*Small Victories, Anne Lamott. Lamott’s essays are always thought-provoking and often hilarious. I haven’t read this collection, and I found it in my library’s book store for $2. 

*Bruno, Chief of Police, Martin Walker. Because WHY NOT start a new mystery series?? This one is set in France, so oui, s’il vous plait.

I’m a fairly fast reader, but we’ll see how this goes.

And that’s it so far. I’m not feeling all that ambitious after moving and unpacking. I’d rather relax with a cold drink and a book than do anything. Maybe I need another Summer of Kathy?

What summer fun are you planning this year?

Wow, May sure went by in a flash! Here we are, on the doorstep of June. Of summer. Summer’s not my favorite, but this year I’m really going to make an effort to enjoy it as much as possible. While I’m making up my summer fun and summer reading lists, I hope you enjoy these links I’ve collected recently. 

What makes people flourish? The Global Flourishing Study is an interesting look at how respondents from 22 countries rank their well-being based on six dimensions of a flourishing life.  

I want to travel to Iceland, but after reading this article, maybe I want to move there? 

The book nerd in me enjoyed watching this short video on how to properly break in a new hardcover book so that it’s easier to read and the spine is protected. 

This will surprise no one who loves to read: “Why Reading Is a Form of Therapy.”

Psychologist Rick Hansen has developed a method of building resilience and improving emotional well-being. Read about it in “‘Taking in the good’: A simple way to offset your brain’s negativity bias.” 

Have you heard of “shine theory”? 

Watch this if you’re afraid you’re falling behind:

Happy Friday—and see you in June!

A quick update: the last couple weeks have been a flurry of activity—our previous house was under contract, then it wasn’t. And then it was again. And then it sold.

Since we put it on the market in February, I’ve been going there at least once a week to check on things, run the dishwasher, flush the toilets, pull vines and weeds (etc.) to keep it looking presentable for showings and open houses. Lately, I’ve been going more often because we had some minor repairs to do before the sale and we also wanted to dig up or take cuttings of a few of our favorite plants. This helped me continue to detach emotionally, but it was wearing me out.

Also, we had planned to hire someone to build a built-in cabinet/bookshelf at our new home, and it just so happened that this week he was available to do the project. The unit is gorgeous (see below), but it has been noisy and nuts at times, and difficult for me to concentrate.

Before:

After:

This whole week has been chaos, but we are done with two big things: the sale of our house and the construction of our built-in unit. Two steps forward toward our new life! 

We have a three-day weekend to unpack the final boxes and fill our beautiful shelves. 

So that's what I've been doing lately. What's new with you?

Photo by Sophia Kunkel on Unsplash

In 2013 when I adopted Prudy, it had been a few years since I’d had a cat, so before I went to the shelter, I spent hours researching food, toys, and even cat litter. I crossed the line between responsible pet owner and obsessive nutcase. I’ve done a similar thing with other decisions, including which cover to get for my cell phone, where to stay for a beach weekend, and [insert anything involving my horse].

Wanting to make good choices is a worthy goal, but did you know how we go about it can make a difference in our level of happiness? 

In our quest for a happy life, we might assume that one way to ensure happiness is to make each one of our decisions the absolute best one we can make.

We would be wrong.

Happy people, according to Daniel J. Levitin in The Organized Mind, engage in satisficing, even if they’re not aware that they’re doing it. 

What is satisficing?

“Satisficing” comes from combining the words “satisfying” and “sufficing.” The term was originally created by Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert A. Simon in 1956. 

I first heard the term “satisficer” while reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog. Satisficers, according to Rubin are “those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied,” she wrote. 

The alternative to being a satisficer is being a maximizer. According to Rubin, “Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.” Maximizers tend to be more anxious about their choices, fearing that they’ve made a mistake. Most people use both types of decision making, but they may have a primary tendency toward one or the other.

Of course, some decisions are more important than others, and it’s prudent to take more time and care in those areas. It makes sense that the more important a decision it is, the more effort and thought put into it. It’s the lesser choices that unnecessarily eat up our time and energy. We can burn ourselves out making every mole hill a mountain. 

Loosening my grip on perfectionism

The older I get, the more I lean into satisficing. Mostly, I just don’t have the time to nitpick every decision, going on deep research dives to choose the “absolute best” whatsit/course of action/hotel/pet food. Satisficing has helped me realize there’s not one perfect way to do anything. You can be a person of excellence without choosing perfectly, every time. And who decides what perfect is anyway?

Satisficing is one more way I’m fighting perfectionist tendencies and embracing ease. I feel less stress when I don’t have to make the “perfect” choice, and I free up a lot of time I might have previously spent overthinking. I love a research rabbit hole as much as anyone, but sometimes I’ve just got to stop.

How to satisfice

So how did this self-identified, semi-obsessive maximizer change her ways? Here are some tips I try to follow when a decision needs to be made:

Limit the time I spend or number of sources I choose for decision research.

If I have time, I make the choice, but sleep on it before implementing it.

Simply choose fewer things. How many whatsits do I really need?

Don’t waste time looking at options I can’t have. Often, I can’t afford the “absolute best” of whatever it is I want or need. We’re gathering info on remodeling the kitchen of our new home, and I already know not to look at certain features because they’re simply beyond what we’re willing to spend.

Realize in six months I’ll have forgotten about all the other options.

If it turns out the decision isn’t optimal, I can almost always choose again. Yes, there may be frustrations or problems, but frankly, that’s just life.

I can feel the difference when I start to veer from satisficing to maximizing—and it doesn’t feel great. I’m definitely happier exploring and savoring simple pleasures and everyday adventures than I am mulling over which sheets to buy for the new guest bed.    

Are you a satisficer or a maximizer? What are some of your decision-making tips?

Photo by Raimond Klavins on Unsplash

Introduction by Kwame Davis: In ​“Beachcomber Nocturne”, Lupita Eyde-Tucker beautifully wrestles with the complex relationship that we sometimes have with nature, by first acknowledging that there is a strange colonizing impulse behind the manner in which we apprehend and love the natural world, by seeing it in our own image. Her awe, however, is also captured elegantly in her sense of helplessness as a witness and a creature of this grand design. For some reason, I find myself coming back to the phrase, ​“the ocean’s purple evening”, so I consider the poem yet another of those ​“odd gifts” the world offers us.

Beachcomber Nocturne

We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2022 by Lupita Eyde-Tucker, “Beachcomber Nocturne” from Jet Fuel Review, Issue #23, Spring 2022. Poem reprinted by permission of the author and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2024 by The Poetry Foundation.

For years, Gretchen Rubin has been one of my inspirations for Catching Happiness. I’ve read most of her books, and written about two of them (here and here), as well as her “four factors of happiness.” When I heard she was going to be in Tampa on April 17 for a tour stop for her most recent book, Secrets of Adulthood, I signed up to attend, and invited a friend I knew would enjoy going on an everyday adventure with me.  

Gretchen was warm and funny, thoughtful, and engaged with the crowd and the interviewer, author and podcaster John R. Miles. In addition to the simple pleasure of spending a few hours with a good friend while listening to an uplifting conversation between two interesting people, I came away with a few bits of inspiration for my own life. 

Writing routines and creativity

I always love to hear about other writers’ routines. Rubin gets up at 5:30 a.m. and writes until 9 a.m. Other activities she saves for later in the day, making sure to do her hardest work, original writing, when she’s at her best. This is something I’ve drifted away from, frittering away my sharpest hours doing non-high-value work. I plan to change that by changing the way I arrange my daily schedule.

Both Rubin and Miles agreed that the more writing you do, the better—i.e., the best way to spur creativity is by using it. Both are prolific between writing and podcasting, working on multiple projects at once. I’ve also gotten away from this habit, partly because of life circumstances. Now that things are settling down, I have the bandwidth to work on more—and that sounds appealing rather than overwhelming!

Aphorisms for the win!

Secrets of Adulthood is a book of aphorisms, concise statements that contain expansive truths.  Like Rubin, I love reading and collecting them. I love it when I discover a short saying that sums up something I’ve been thinking, or when I can quickly call to mind an aphorism to help me decide what to do about something. Here are a few from the book they talked about last night:

One of the best ways to find friends is to make friends with the friends of our friends.

The opposite of a profound truth is also true.

We care for many people we don’t particularly care for.

Pouring out ideas is better for the imagination than doling them out by the teaspoon (see creativity, above!)

Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

What can be done at any time is often done at no time.

Inspiration to go

After meeting Rubin and having our books signed, we drove home excitedly discussing what we were now feeling inspired to do—habit changes, books we want to read, more author events we can go to. While I still sometimes find it hard to convince myself to get out and do things rather than hole up at home, I’m always glad when I make the effort. In fact, there’s a Rubin aphorism for that: “Choose the bigger life.”

What has inspired you lately?

For more information:

https://gretchenrubin.com/

Happier with Gretchen Rubin (podcast) 

https://johnrmiles.com/

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

“Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it, and you'll start believing in it.”

—Jesse Owens

If you participate in any kind of online life, from social media, to streaming services like Netflix, or even simple search engine searches, you’ve come in contact with “the algorithm.” Platforms use algorithms to determine how to filter content—in simplified terms, they use what we’ve looked at before to determine what to show us next. This can be fun (there are A LOT of funny animal videos out there), but it can also be enraging and discouraging (there is A LOT of bad news out there, too).

Offline, our reticular activating system acts as an algorithm. What we look for, we find. 

So I propose that we look for the good, the beautiful, and the excellent—both online and off. Let’s change the algorithm!

See better, do better

I’ve been thinking about “changing the algorithm” as a concept for a while now, but a webinar I attended last week (“Appreciating Goodness and Beauty in Our World”) helped me expand the idea beyond the internet and social media. The speaker was Maria Sirois, a clinical psychologist and author of The Generous Exchange. 

According to Sirois, when we are actively seeking goodness in the world, we actually become better people. Paying attention to goodness gives us evidence of hope. It reminds us of our better selves. She focused on three main types of goodness and beauty:

Natural beauty—experiences in the natural world, like walking in the woods or enjoying a sunset.

Moral beauty—good news; benevolence; the capacity to be kind, generous, and loving to the world. When we see people helping people, animals, or the environment.

Excellence—accomplishment and achievement. Watching Simone Biles fly through the air or hearing a musician play a beautiful piece of music. (Sirois noted that there is also excellence of character. For those of us who will never be Simone Biles, we can strive to become excellent in our own domains.)

To actively seek goodness and beauty, here are two practices Sirois suggested we try:

1. Choose a texting buddy and for the next 30 days and text each other one thing you found beautiful each day. This strengthens connections in your brain for beauty, and it draws you closer to your friend as you each share what you find beautiful in your world.

2. For the next two weeks, jot down in a journal one example of goodness in your world.

At the end of these practices, reflect on what has grown in you because of them. What is different now?

One beautiful thing

At the beginning of the webinar, Sirois asked us: What’s one thing you find beautiful in the world today?

Here’s mine: On Tuesday, I attended a performance of The Lion King. The production was outstanding—magical, really. The music, the performers, the costumes and sets—I marveled, yes, marveled, at the talent, joy, and excellence on display. I walked out of the theater feeling happy and inspired. (In fact, I just watched this clip, and got chills!) 

While I do see suffering, cruelty, and greed in the world, I also see an amazing amount of love, kindness, and caring. Focusing on the good and the beautiful helps me find hope when I’m in despair, and gives me courage to keep showing up with kindness. The more we focus on the good and beautiful, the more we’ll see.

What’s one beautiful thing in your world? Please share in the comments below!

Photo by Benjamin Raffetseder on Unsplash

In preparation for National Poetry Month, I’ve been researching the benefits of reading poetry. Here’s what I found so far:

• Improves cognitive functions such as flexible thinking and the ability to understand “complex, multiple meanings.” 
• Provides comfort and boosts mood during times of stress, trauma, or grief. 
• Is pleasurable! 
• Helps us understand and express our feelings, identity, self-awareness, and ease negative emotions. 
• Offers different ways of seeing things. 
• Helps us feel connected and less alone as we see others going through the same emotions. 

To sum up, reading poetry helps us to think better and feel better, even and especially when we’re going through hard times!

Recommitting to the poetry habit

Even though I enjoy reading poetry, I tend to reach for it when my life feels less stressful and sorrowful. When I feel I have time to dwell on and savor the words on the page. I can see from the above articles that I’ve been missing out on the benefits of reading poetry when I’m sad and overwhelmed (see: 2023).

Reading poetry doesn’t have to be hard. I know that, and yet I sometimes, too often, choose the “easier” option of scrolling mindlessly when I have a few moments to fill. (Maybe they don’t need “filling” at all, but that’s a topic for another day.) I’ve experimented with various methods for reading more poetry—adding it to my morning routine, choosing a poem to read before bed or after I eat lunch. Now I’m going to try keeping a collection of poems next to where I sit on the couch to see if making it easier to read a poem instead of picking up my phone to scroll Instagram will make me happier! I’m also going to give myself permission to dip in and out of poetry collections rather than read one from start to finish. I’m starting with Starspun, a collection published by my high school creative writing teacher Marie Tollstrup, and Poetry Rx: How Fifty Inspiring Poems Can Heal and Bring Joy to Your Life, by Norman Rosenthal, M.D. 

Options for the poetry reluctant

If you’re curious but a little reluctant, start small. Don’t worry about “getting it.” 

Sign up for poem-a-day in your inbox (poets.org). 

If you’d rather listen than read, try The Slowdown or the Favorite Poem Project: Americans Saying Poems They Love.

Poetry may not be everyone’s favorite form of entertainment, but it offers significant benefits to those who take the time to explore it. Do you have any favorite poems, poets, or ways of enjoying poetry? Do share in the comments below.

Photo by Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash

“Happiness held is the seed; Happiness shared is the flower.”

—John Harrigan

When I hear about a book I think I’d like to read, I usually check it out from the library, even if I have to wait in a long line of library holds to do so. Only after I’ve read and loved a book, and know I’ll want to read it more than once, will I buy my own copy. (I must make these rules for myself because otherwise I’d be b-a-n-k-r-u-p-t if I bought a copy of every book I wanted to read.)

But every now and then, a book comes along that makes me break my rules. When I heard the title of Courtney Carver’s new book, I knew I had to read it. I also decided to do something I rarely do: preorder a copy. I’ve read Carver’s other books and loved them, and the premise of her new book spoke to me, especially in 2025, when my word of the year is ease.

I’m two-thirds of the way through Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want and it does not disappoint.

Start with rest

Gentle is divided into three sections: Rest, Less, and Rise. Each chapter ends with tiny steps, and if even the tiny steps are too much, a single “Gentle” step. Each chapter also ends with a (usually) single-sentence “Permission Slip.”

“Rest” is first in the book because so many of us are so exhausted. It resonated very much with me because I’m still coming down from the high wire of stress and grief from the past couple of years. In this section, Carver offers suggestions for inviting more rest into our lives—from actively scheduling literal 5- to 10-minute blocks of rest and allowing more margin between activities, to learning to underreact to various situations we find upsetting, and discovering what actually feels restful to each of us. One of my favorite sections of the whole book was the deep dive into “the new rules of rest.” One of my favorites: “Thou shalt ease through hard days rather than pushing through them.”

Less is next

The second section of the book is “Less.” Whether it’s having fewer things, giving less advice, picking up your phone less often, or living with less regret, according to Carver, if you’re stressed or anxious, “The answer is usually less.” 

The chapter titled “Release Your Pain” is one I’m still thinking about. In it, Carver relates that she destroys her journals. !!! Now, I’ve just moved a giant box of journals from one house to another and the idea of destroying them is…horrifying to me. But she asks a number of good questions about why one might be keeping journals, and offers some compelling reasons for being willing to let go. One reason I’m holding on to mine is to have a record of my life to look back on, but as she writes: “If what’s holding you back [from releasing your journals] is the fear of not remembering, consider how you want to spend your time now and how you may want to spend it in the future. Will you want to spend it frustrated that you can’t remember things, and trying to unearth your past? Or will you want to read a book, spend time with people you love, play a game, watch your favorite movie, or learn a new skill?”

As I said, I’m still thinking about this.

Finally, we rise

The final section of the book is “Rise,” and in the spirit of Gentle, I decided against rushing through this last part in order to summarize it for you. I did peek at the introduction to “Rise,” and it begins like this: “Becoming the Gentle You doesn’t mean you have to withdraw from the world. You don’t have to stop striving for what you want or stop caring.” Carver notes that the practices from the first two sections of the book will serve as supports as you “accomplish all that you want to accomplish, not by pushing through but by easing through.”

Which seems like a good place to ask the question Carver poses earlier in Gentle: “If you were more at ease and relaxed, would you be better equipped to create and live the life you desire?” Something for us all to think about. 

I highly recommend Courtney Carver’s Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want and will be savoring the last few chapters this weekend. 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

I’ve always tried to make Catching Happiness an escape from the chaos and suffering we see around us in the world, and a small oasis of peace and joy. I find it encouraging that there are always bright spots of happiness, hope, and dreams to be found if we only look for them. Here are a few that I’ve found lately.

Author and illustrator Susan Branch shares many simple pleasures and everyday adventures on her blog. She and her husband have relocated and downsized from their home in Martha’s Vineyard to California, and I’ve enjoyed reading about her adjustments to, plans, and dreams for their new home.  “Summer Dreams” is her most recent post. 

“Hope in Difficult Times,” Action for Happiness podcast. There were many encouraging takeaways in this episode, so if you only click on one link, make it this one. 

In “How to Become Enchanted by Life,” Leo Babauta notes that we often turn magic into the mundane and offers suggestions for how to reverse that tendency. 

For science-backed tips to improve your happiness habits, check out “Eight Ways to Stay Happier This Year, According to Science.”

Find more tips for boosting happiness here. 

I’m not the only one who comes back from travel inspired. Stephanie reflects on lessons learned from a dream trip to Italy in “Maybe the Hobby Lobby Sign Was Right.”

This doesn’t surprise me at all.

I might be spending way too much time watching the Big Bear Eagle Live Nest Cam, which features bald eagle pair Jackie and Shadow—and their three tiny eaglets!

What bright spots have you discovered lately?

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

In the past I’ve shared various definitions and types of happiness, such as momentary pleasure, overall happiness, and long-term contentment. Today I’d like to add well-being to the list. As some researchers note: “Well-being has been defined as the combination of feeling good and functioning well; the experience of positive emotions such as happiness and contentment as well as the development of one’s potential, having some control over one’s life, having a sense of purpose, and experiencing positive relationships. It is a sustainable condition that allows the individual or population to develop and thrive.” I think that’s what most of us are looking for when we talk about wanting to be happy.   

A few weeks ago, I attended a webinar sponsored by Action for Happiness called “New Ways to Be Happier” with Vanessa King, an expert in positive psychology and author of 10 Keys for Happier Living. During the webinar, she asked the question,

“What practices do you do regularly that you know will help you maintain your well-being long term?” 

That’s a question worth thinking about. 

My personal well-being practices

The first two that came to mind were reading and writing. I don’t feel “right” if I don’t read and write every day. Reading for enjoyment and escape, as well as encouragement, education, and inspiration (see “Some Books That Saved My Sanity” for recommendations from a particularly rough time). 

Writing—journaling in particular—is also a foundational practice.

A few additional practices are important for my well-being, too. These include: spending time outside, regular exercise (primarily walking and yoga), getting together with friends. I also really enjoy art journaling…when I take the time to do it.

More well-being practices

What practices you choose to bolster your well-being are as individual as you are. Some popular practices include:

Practicing gratitude. 

Laughing.

Listening to music.

Finding an inspiring song or quote and writing it down. 

Connecting with your faith through prayer or in community with others.

Seeking help from a counselor.

Practicing mindfulness and/or meditation.

Prioritizing well-being is self-care

When you prioritize your well-being, you’re taking care of yourself—your physical, mental, and emotional health. Yes, self-care enables you to be there for others when you’re needed, but there is no reason to justify caring for your well-being. You are a person, therefore you are “worthy” of care, full stop.

When life gets busy, it’s easy to get sloppy with your well-being practices. It happens to everyone. As soon as you can, though, take a moment and look inside to see what you need. What is your heart, your mind, your body crying out for? Rest? A healthy snack? Fifteen minutes with a good book? A meetup with a friend? A long run (or a short walk)? To stand on the grass with your face to the sun?

Well-being is a topic I’m going to continue to explore for myself and for the blog now that my time isn’t so taken up with major life events. Simply having fewer things scheduled every day contributes to my well-being!

Now it’s your turn: What practices do you do regularly that you know will help you maintain your well-being long term?

For more information:

Tips to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being

National Institutes of Health’s Emotional Wellness Toolkit

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

“The people who want to control us through fear and misinformation—the corporations, marketers, politicians—want us to be plugged into our phones or watching TV, because then they can sell us their vision of the world. If we do not get outside, if we do not take a walk out in the fresh air, we do not see our everyday world for what it really is, and we have no vision of our own with which to combat misinformation.”

—Austin Kleon, Keep Going

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I count myself lucky to have friends I’ve collected through high school, college, mothers’ groups, horseback riding, art, and more. I even stay in loose touch with one friend I’ve known since second grade (hi, Julie!). I have friends online I’ve never met in person, and it’s no accident that I begin every Happy Little Thoughts newsletter with the words “Dear friends.” 

Happiness and friendships

Good relationships are the single most important factor of a happy life. We all hope that our family relationships will be positive and uplifting, but sadly that’s not always the case. We get to choose our friends, and those friends can help fill our emotional needs and provide support when we need it. Fun with friends is one of the best joys of life.   

I count my friends as some of my biggest blessings, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

To celebrate the priceless love of friends this Valentine’s Day, here are 10 quotes highlighting different aspects of friendship. Which one is your favorite?

“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’”—C.S. Lewis

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“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.” –Baltasar Gracian

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“It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds. It’s your best friends who are supremely resilient, made under pressure and of astonishing value. They're everlasting; they can cut glass if they need to.”—Gina Barreca

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“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief”—Marcus Tullius Cicero

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“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”—Khalil Gibran

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“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”—Elie Wiesel

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”—Anais Nin

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“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”—Unknown

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“True friends are always together in spirit.”—L.M. Montgomery

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“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends. I love you more than words can say!