Dew on ferns

Photo by Bookblock on Unsplash

It’s been 17 years since I hit publish here for the first time. An uncountable number of things have changed since that first blog post. When I started Catching Happiness, I was a 40-something mom/freelance writer with a teenager at home. All my parents were living, and I had a completely different set of pets. Now I’m staring down my 60s, walking through the open door of the next phase of my life: the (gasp) “senior years.”

In 2009, creating Catching Happiness was a way for me to explore a more personal form of writing than the magazine articles I was more familiar with. This blog has been a true labor of love—and I’ve loved (almost) every minute of it.

Missing in action

However, for the past couple of years, I’ve been erratic in my posting, while I dealt with family health crises, elder care and the passing of two of my three moms, moving, the loss of my beloved horse, and the aftermath of the stress and grief of those experiences. I decided to step back and not force myself to write a post just to have something new on the website. For a while, I avoided writing anything—not just Catching Happiness posts but even journal or morning pages. What was there to say? Too often, a journal entry left me choked with grief, frustration, sadness, or anxiety. Writing had become a chore rather than a joy and solace. 

As my freelance clients faded away, I also began to come to terms with the idea and reality of retirement from actively pursuing freelance jobs. The downside being that I don’t know who I am if I’m not a writer, and did it really happen if I didn’t write about it, at least privately in my journal?

Blogging has changed. I’ve changed. And the world has certainly changed since November of 2009. But when it came down to either shuttering Catching Happiness, or perhaps moving to Substack rather than blogging, I just couldn’t do either one. I enjoy the format of a blog—a place to share not only my longer, more thoughtful reflections, but quotes, photos, interesting links and more. Writing for Catching Happiness has always been a way to work through questions, emotions, and life experiences both good and bad. I’m not ready to let it go.

So where will Catching Happiness go from here?

I just renewed the Catching Happiness domain name, so for at least one more year I plan to keep it active.

I’m still interested in happiness research, embracing simple pleasures and everyday adventures. I still believe, as I wrote in “Why ‘CatchingHappiness’?” that “happiness matters, we are in charge of our own happiness, and we can improve it.” 

I may not post every week, but I plan and hope to get back into a more regular schedule of posting. I may make some small changes to the monthly Happy Little Thoughts newsletter (subscribe here). 

I’m going to continue to write about happiness research, and share tips I’ve discovered for living a happier life in general, as well as life lessons and interesting discoveries. I imagine this next stage of life will also have plenty of discoveries and adventures. I’ll still share personal experiences and interests, because you are my friends—and hopefully that will encourage you to follow your interests as well. I’m still interested in familiar simple pleasures like books and reading, writing, and art (sketching, watercolor, art journaling). I’m hoping to travel more now that my responsibilities of caring for people and my horse have ended.

Please do share your interests with me, and if you have any suggestions for topics to cover, I’d love to hear about them.

Thank you!

Writing helps me clarify my thinking, and sharing my thoughts with others, with the intent of helping or inspiring (and, in some cases, serving as a cautionary tale) still seems a way I can continue to find purpose. So for at least one more year, I’m here.

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to visit Catching Happiness! Your words of encouragement have meant more to me than you know.

Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash

I just participated in Jessica Swift’s Art Oasis online creative retreat, and I was reminded again of the ability of art and artists not only to entertain, but to make us think, feel, and ultimately change for the better. Enjoying and making art in whatever form most calls to you is not only a simple pleasure—it’s a healing act.

Here are a few thoughts on art and healing. 

Seattle looking lovely

Remember me? Despite my lack of posting, I am still here. My West Coast trip to see family and friends was wonderful (see brief report below) and it’s fall, my favorite time of year—despite Florida’s marked lack of crisp weather and colorful leaves. It has been a t-i-n-y bit less steamy, and at the very least, we’re drawing ever closer to cool weather. I’ve been leaning hard into mending and tending, continuing to take care of myself (yearly physical and labs) and chip away at a few areas in the house that still need solutions (home office/guest room). The past month has been just what I needed. 

Closure and connection

In August, I flew to California to visit my stepmom, see my mom’s twin sister, and make a pilgrimage to my mom’s grave. After that, I flew to Seattle to visit my friend Kerri. In my mind, I started calling it the “closure and connection” tour.

I revisited my mom’s house (just a drive by since the property no longer belongs to our family), a favorite used bookstore in Redding, and the McConnell Botanical Gardens, also in Redding, a place where I found much comfort during my mom’s last illness. I feel it’s unlikely that I’ll be traveling that far north in California again.  

My aunt is now 88 years old and is in an assisted living facility. My cousin met me there and we all went to lunch together. I loved catching up with my aunt, and since she’s my mom’s twin, it was almost like being with her, too.

My stepmom is facing her own challenges, though thankfully they are not life-threatening ones. We talked almost non-stop, ate lots of good food, and made plans for future visits.

Next, I flew to Seattle to stay with my friend Kerri. As usual, we explored lots of fun places and (of course) talked a lot.

Here are a few photos from the trip:

Mom's final resting place

At McConnell Gardens

Flowers on a random neighborhood walk in Washington

Dambo Troll "Pia the Peacekeeper" (Bainbridge Island)

Pondering the future

While the trip was emotionally intense, it was also healing and comforting. There have been losses, but love, friendship, and beauty remain. I loved strengthening connections with my stepmom, aunt, and friend—it’s hard being so far from them, and I absolutely want to do better at staying in touch.

Now that I’m home and settled again, I’m thinking about the future and focus of Catching Happiness. So much has changed since I started this blog in 2009. Does Catching Happiness still serve a purpose, both for me and for you, the reader? I can’t imagine a life without some form of writing in it, but I’m unsure of the details. (Share your thoughts if you feel so inclined, either in comments or by hitting reply if you got this post via email.)

What have you been up to for the past month?!

Photo by Ako Tampo on Unsplash

I love Morgan Harper Nichols’ work, and I came across this this week and thought I’d share. August is usually a tough month for me, so these reminders are helpful. 

Let August

be August

by allowing

yourself to trust:

you do not have to be

so hard on yourself

if you cannot make sense

of all that is changing.

In the coming days,

you will find mystery,

and you will also

find room to breathe

and you might just find

even in these unknowns:

you are more prepared

than you think.

You are free to take the time you need to feel what you need to feel… including the good feelings.

Don’t let them rush you. You are traveling at the pace you were meant to.

You are still free to pursue peace right here in the in-betweens.

Whatever happens this month, be gentle with yourself.

Even here, there is still space for us to rise above the fear... propelled into motion by love.

There is more to come.

More love.

More joy.

More grace.

More peace.

Let this be the August

you look back on and say:

“somehow, through it all,

I learned to fall in love

with the journey.”

— Morgan Harper Nichols 

 

Photo by Ann Fossa on Unsplash

Despite years of fighting against it, I can’t seem to break the habit of being in a hurry. Wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen—hurry! Have a bunch of errands to do? Calculate the most efficient way to accomplish them all and drive faster than the speed limit to do so. Have your life upended by the deaths of important people (and animals), move, renovate a house, say goodbye to your last paying writing client, and survive a major hurricane—hurry up and recover from all that grief, stress, and change.

I’ve written several times about how the events of the past few years have challenged and broken me, and also about how I’m beginning to heal. I apologize if you’re sick of these topics. I’m a little sick of them myself, but they continue to be in the forefront of my mind and I continue to learn that you just can’t hurry things like grief, healing, and growth.

Healing staggers forward, swerves sideways, collapses on itself. One day I can be putting clean laundry away and think, “Hey, I feel pretty energetic today!” The next, a handful of errands leaves me exhausted and wanting a nap. I need to stop declaring the process done, even to myself.

My old life truly has been broken into pieces and a new one is slowly taking shape out of the rubble. I very much identify with Janice MacLeod’s words: “A lot of life was breaking down. I’m still in the crumble of some of it. I call that stage What am I gonna do what am I gonna do what am I gonna dooooo….” 

I feel you, Janice. I still don’t know what I’m “gonna dooooo” with the rest of my life.

I do know that I’m not going to rush it. I’m looking for clues in things that spark my curiosity, activities that bring delight, and routines that produce deep satisfaction. I question “the way I’ve always done it,” and open my mind and heart to alternatives. I’m very grateful for the privilege of time to sort all this out. This time of transition is taking longer than I expected.

And while you can’t—shouldn’t—hurry growth and healing, I’ve learned a few ways you can support it. If you are also recovering from a hard time, please be gentle with yourself. Don’t berate yourself for not being “over it.” Spend a lot of time listening to your inner voice. At my saddest, I drowned out internal whispers with music, comfort TV, podcasts, audiobooks—anything to distract myself from the spiraling pain and longing which filled my thoughts. As I’ve felt stronger, I’ve begun to welcome quiet times of reflection and listening, often with journal in hand.

For me, resting has been crucial: going to bed early, taking naps when necessary. Carefully guarding energy levels, because when I’m exhausted, my thoughts take a darker turn.

Of course, reading books that touch on grief, healing, and navigating hard times has been helpful, as well as sharing thoughts (and many quotes and memes) with a trusted friend going through many of the same experiences. Reminders that I’m not alone.

I’m not declaring the growth and healing process done—I know better than that now. I expect bad days will continue as new grief milestones appear. I’m not rushing into any major changes, and I am allowing a slower pace of daily life while still fulfilling responsibilities to running my household and supporting my husband who has done so much to support me.

Now and again I dip into the Catching Happiness archives to share a summer rerun. I hope you enjoy this one, written in 2021 following the the worst of the Covid pandemic. It feels timely to me because I feel like I’m entering a period of expanding, as I was beginning to do here.

For so many months I’ve felt confined to a narrow range of activities. For much of the past year, my world shrank to the few miles between my home, the grocery store, and the barn. And even though that radius has expanded to include the library, my hairdresser and a favorite coffee shop, I still feel my world has narrowed. And I know many people have left their homes even less than I have.

The Year That Must Not Be Named was a year of contracting for most of us. As the pandemic ravaged the world, most of us stayed close to home, limited our activities, and put plans on hold. My thinking undoubtedly became smaller as my day-to-day world shrank. Uncertainty, confusion, and limitations characterized 2020. And while the circumstances were undoubtedly unpleasant, if our reaction was to contract, that was entirely appropriate. In fact, the slower pace of life for many during the pandemic proved beneficial. As Amy Ward Brimmer wrote in “Expanding and Contracting,” “Contraction is an opportunity for mindfulness.”

If we allow it to, that mindfulness can guide us as we start expanding—allowing our thoughts and actions to widen again.

A natural cycle

The process of expanding and contracting is one of life’s natural cycles. Each condition is neither all good nor all bad; each practice serves a purpose. Just as breathing includes both inhalation and exhalation, so we also need times of contraction and expansion. As nature has times of expansion and growth, so it has seasons of loss and letting go.

Here are some examples of expanding and contracting:

Ways we expand:

• Be open hearted—listen, help, love, give, to the best of our abilities
• Plan future events and adventures
• Learn something new, or deepen our understanding
• Train our bodies for a physical contest, like a 5K or a charity walk; start an exercise program; or bump up one we already have
• Try to understand another person’s point of view

 Ways we contract:

• Seek safety and comfort in the familiar
• Take care of ourselves when we’re sick or injured
• Withdraw to conserve energy, or think something over
• Rest

Expanding pushes us outside our comfort zones. It can feel exciting—or it can feel scary as we reach beyond our previous limits. Contracting is a natural reaction to danger, threat, and even exhaustion. If we overextend ourselves while expanding, we may need to contract for a while to recover. (While working on this post, I realized that even my word of the year acronym—DARE: Dream, Act, Recharge, Evaluate—contains the concepts of both expansion and contraction.) 

We can also stay in a contracted state too long, fall into using false comforts or overuse real ones, thus stunting our own growth. We can make our world too small. This is where I am right now. I need to begin expanding again, finding inspiration, “filling the well.” I believe I can do this safely and responsibly, but I’m struggling. I shrink back from the very things that will inspire creativity and bring me happiness.

I’m still searching for the flow between expanding and contracting, as I imagine many of you are also. What feels right and safe and appropriate?

Let’s start simply: Take a big breath. Sit up straight. Smile. Now think of one little thing we could do to make our world bigger and brighter. Then do it! And let’s come back and share our experiences in the comments below.

As we begin to move back into more normal life, how can we expand thoughtfully while still being mindful of the benefits and need for contracting?

One major goal checked off!

Six months of 2026 done and dusted. The months have flown by faster than I could imagine, and it’s time for a mid-year check-in.

I’m sharing the progress (or lack thereof) I’ve made on my goals in 2026 both to keep myself accountable, and to encourage you to evaluate your year so far. How has it been going? Did you start the year with any goals or dreams you wanted to accomplish? Now is the time to evaluate, adjust, and recommit or let go.

“26 for 26”

I used Gretchen Rubin’s “26 for 26” framework to shape my goals for the year. My list is a combination of small stuff (“Write to Aunt Jary and Aunt Charlotte”), large projects (“Remodel the kitchen”), fun stuff (“Attend an author talk”) and pesky life admin (“Renew passport”). So far, I’ve completed 10 of the tasks on my list (including renewing that passport!), with several others partially completed. Knowing I have just six more months to finish the list is helping motivate me to get going. I can do it if I choose one or two items on my list to work on each month. 

Word(s) of the year

“Mend and tend” have been my guiding words in 2026, and I’ve concentrated specifically on two areas: improving my fitness and finishing our move and home renovations. Since December, I’ve been lifting weights twice a week using YouTube videos, walking twice a week, and practicing yoga. I’m currently doing a second round of Caroline Girvan’s Iron series (no affiliation). Caroline lifts much heavier than I do, but I have definitely gotten stronger and been able to lift heavier weights than when I started. I love the format of 30- to 35-minute workouts. I can easily fit them into my days as well as convince myself to keep going if it feels hard. I want to add a third strength session per week in the next couple of months. 

I’ve also allowed myself to slow down and rest more this year instead of rushing from activity to activity. “Resting” might mean reading a book or surfing the internet for an hour in the afternoon, or on really tired days, lying on the couch with comfort TV playing. I don’t need that often anymore, but I when I do, I don’t feel guilty.

I’m not throwing a pity party for myself, but since 2022 I’ve been on a high-stress ride with the illnesses and deaths of my mother-in-law, mom, and my dream horse of 20+ years. We also sold our family home and moved, and tackled two major home renovations. (Oh, and I forgot about the devastating hurricanes…) I may look functional from the outside, but the inside has been a different story. Emotions have run high and my physical and emotional stamina were completely drained and are just now beginning to recover. 

As far as the move and house renovations go, on Saturday we unpacked the last box that was still in the garage from our move! Some sorting and reorganizing in the garage and elsewhere need to happen, but overall, after nearly two years, we are done. 

Remaining biggish goals

The biggest remaining goal for 2026 is a visit to my family in California and my friend in Seattle. This week I’ve been working on that—scouting airline ticket prices, rental cars, and hotels. This will be the first time a trip to California didn’t mean a visit to my mom’s house and that just feels wrong. I do not like the new normal.

There’s still time

Judging by the pace of the first six months, the end of 2026 is nearly upon us. However, we still have time to seek joy and happiness, set and achieve goals, and savor simple pleasures. Let’s finish 2026 strong.

If you feel comfortable doing so, please share some highlights or challenges of 2026 in the comments below. I’d love to hear what’s been going on with you so far this year.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I had planned a different post for today, but some sort of respiratory ailment which had been going through my family laid me out and changed my plans. I feel much better and have progressed into the coughing and blowing stage. Hopefully I’ll be back to full strength in a few days. In the meantime, here are a few recent online discoveries I’ve enjoyed recently:

I’m still pondering and digesting the experiences I had caregiving for my mother-in-law and mom as they passed within two months of each other in 2023, and “Ghost Portraits” put some of my feelings from that time into words. 

In “The Radical Act of Slowing Down,” Eric Markowitz discusses society’s obsession with speed and productivity and how it undermines health, relationships, and true success. He reveals something I’ve noticed myself: “Because the more you get done, the faster the cup fills back up. When life becomes an endless game of whack-a-mole, the only winning move is to stop playing. The more efficient you become, the more you are asked to do. The reward for clearing the list is a longer list.” 

The next time I find myself retreating to the couch for comfort TV and snacks, I’m going to review “Feeling Down? 12 Science-Backed Ways to Get Out of a Funk in Just One Day.” These very simple self-care activities will help you “refresh [and] rebalance your mind & body when you feel depleted, exhausted, and are in desperate need of a reset.”  

What if someone told you that happiness, love, and joy exist in you right now, no matter your state of mind (or the state of your to-do list)? “What if I told you,” wrote Jennifer Agugliaro, “that living in a perpetual state of love and joy is your natural state of being?” Read “4 Simple, Heart-Opening Exercises to Fill You with Joy, Love, and Light” to find out more.

I love Courtney Carver’s work (including Gentle, her most recent book), and “7 Simple Shifts That Helped Me Feel Lighter and Happier” is typical of her gentle approach to life. We don’t have to make major changes in order to feel more happiness. 

I love these “Adult Cheat Codes”—why make life unnecessarily hard?  

I dare you not to smile and nod along while watching these guys.

Wishing you a fantastic Friday!

From the TBR shelf

Reading is my favorite hobby, especially now that Tank is no longer with me. I never have a shortage of titles to choose from—my physical TBR shelf is overflowing, and I have more than 300 books on my library For Later shelf. Summer is a great time for me to escape into other worlds, because in Florida, summer is the worst time to be outside. 

For just about as long as this blog has been in existence, I’ve been compiling lists of books to read over the summer. This year is no different. Despite the fact that “summer” here stretches from May to November, for the purposes of this list, at the time of this writing, these are the books I plan to reach for during the next three+ months. I won’t read all of them, but I do hope to get to many of them. Not in a pressure-filled way, but in a “I love to read, and it’s too hot/humid/stormy to be outside, so why not pick up a book?” way.

How I choose books for the summer reading list

I have a very complicated spreadsheet and I read a lot of reviews and…

Haha, nope.

My process is very simple. It starts with:

What do I feel like reading? Summer is a time to follow my whims. Sometimes, my whims include a long book (Stephen King’s The Stand, and last summer’s Kristin Lavransdattar), and I used to include a classic, a comfort reread, and a writer’s biography on my summer reading list. 

I also consider my word (or words) of the year. Are there any books that fit in with my theme? In 2026, my words are mend and tend. What books sound like they enhance my mend and tend theme? While no books on this list specifically fit with that theme, the idea of spending more time reading does. 

I read any “summer reading lists” that come to my attention. I always review Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Minimalist Summer Reading Guide, and sometimes I’ll come across one or two other lists of book recs for summer to draw from. 

The problem with Modern Mrs. Darcy’s list is the books are often new and they are still on order at the library or the waiting list is long enough that I won’t get my turn until summer is over. (Despite my ever-growing TBR shelf, I don’t buy every book I want to read.) There were several books on MMD’s list by authors I’ve read and enjoyed before, including:                                                                                  

The One Day You Were My Husband, Rosie Walsh 

Whistler, Ann Patchett 

Dolly All the Time, Anabel Monaghan (Nora Goes Off Script is a favorite from a few years ago)

I’ll put these three on hold and see if they come in before summer’s end.

In the meantime, I’ll start with the books already waiting for me at the library:

Goldenrod, Maggie Smith. “A stunning poetry collection that celebrates the beauty and messiness of life.” 

The House of Hidden Letters, Izzy Broom. Described as “sweeping, escapist, and full of heart,” it sounds perfect for a summer read. 

Kate & Frida, Kim Fay—“A novel of Friendship, Food, and Books” by the author of Love & Saffron, which I loved.

Memorial Days, Geraldine Brooks. I’m already listening to the audiobook, read by the author.

What about that TBR shelf?

I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been plugging slowly away at my shelves of purchased-but-not-yet-read books. (I’d make more progress if I’d stop buying books, but that’s apparently not going to happen.) Here are a few I’d like to read this summer:

As part of my reintroduction to and re-immersion in art, I bought several drawing books. I want to read (and practice my way through) You Can Draw in 30 Days, by Mark Kistler. as well as 50 Ways to Draw Your Beautiful, Ordinary Life, by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst, and Keys to Drawing, by Bert Dodson. 

The Story She Left Behind, Patti Callahan Henry. A friend and I went to see Henry speak at a local bookstore and we left with autographed copies of this book and a pact to read it together over the summer. 

Other possibilities:

Traveling While Married, Mary-Lou Weisman

Daisy Miller and/or Washington Square, Henry James.

The Generous Exchange, Maria Sirois. 

The Unexpected Education of Emily Dean, Mira Robertson. 

Creative Visualization for Writers, Nina Amir. 

That’s a pretty ambitious list. I read quickly, but I’m going to try to slow down and savor whichever book I choose to immerse myself in. What a privilege to have this many choices, and free time available to play. 

What are you going to read this summer?

 

Photo by Mets on Unsplash

The kitchen remodel is done (“done” as in, the contractors are finished with their job, now I get to clean everything and put all our kitchen stuff away)—just in time for summer! And you know what that means: Months of searing heat and stifling humidity…summer fun.

Longtime readers know Florida summer isn’t my favorite. Since summer isn’t easy for me to enjoy, it’s probably more important for me to plan summer fun than any other season. I’ve made a summer fun list every year for probably a decade—maybe more! (Here are lists from 2016 and 2022.)

What do you want the season to feel like?

When planning my summer, I thought about author Gretchen Rubin’s question, “What do you want the season to feel like?”

Mostly, I want it to feel relaxed. Summer for me, probably for most of us in the Northern Hemisphere, is not a time to make grand plans and press forward aggressively. It’s a time to slow down, savor longer days and more sunshine, retreat from the heat with cool drinks and seasonal treats (for me, that’s summer fruit and homemade ice cream).

As Rubin writes, “…it’s up to us to make the most out of summer. A little intention goes a long way: a theme, a list of things you want to read and do and try, a sense of what you want the season to feel like.”

My summer fun list isn’t very exciting and doesn’t contain much that is new and different—it’s more a return to the tried-and-true summer pleasures I typically enjoy. But it feels right for the summer of 2026.

My summer 2026 fun list

1. Host my husband’s office mates for an open house. He changed jobs about a year and half ago, and he wants to invite his lovely new coworkers over to see our home and all the remodeling work we’ve done on it.
2. Visit family and friends on the West Coast. It’s been far too long since I made the cross-continent trip. (Sounds quite adventurous when described that way!)
3. See a couple of movies at the theater—my husband and I both want to see Disclosure Day and The Odyssey. 
4. Do at least one jigsaw puzzle (I’m starting this one as soon as I get my kitchen put back together). 
5. Continue making inroads in my unread shelf (separate summer reading list to come).
6. Enjoy our community pool.
7. Make key lime pie ice cream. This keeps appearing on my summer fun lists—maybe this is the year!
8. Get together with friends as often as possible.
9. Stay at the beach for a weekend.
10. Update parts of my wardrobe—I need some new “goin’ out” clothes and new shoes.
11. Continue and expand sketching and art journaling practices.
12. See if my right arm tendinitis will allow me to play pickleball. It looks so fun, but I had to give up tennis many years ago due to tendinitis problems and I still have issues with my entire right arm—wrist, forearm, and shoulder.
13. Experiment with some new recipes in a relaxed and curious manner. I don’t love to cook, but I also don’t hate it when it’s not a daily responsibility, if you know what I mean.

Mainly I want to slow down and enjoy my newfound freedom. Remember what fun is and how to have it. To take my time over my responsibilities instead of hurrying through them to get to the next thing. With our renovations behind me, I *should* be able to settle into our new home more fully, and enjoy the freedom of less space to maintain. I want to sit in our reading room with a book and a cold drink and decompress. 

Whether you love summer or hate it, a little advance planning can make it a season to savor and remember. I hope the summer of 2026 is your best one yet!

What are you planning this summer?

If you need inspiration for your summer plans, several of my favorite online creators have shared their summer fun plans and planning tips, including:

Laura Vanderkam: “The 2026 Summer Fun List” 

Gretchen Rubin: “How to Design Your Summer” 

Sarah Hart-Unger: “Plan Your Summer With Me!” 

 

Photo by Abyan Athif on Unsplash

I found myself feeling cranky and a blue this week due to the purgatory and disarray that is home remodeling. I had hoped we would be done by the end of this week, but we’ve been delayed by…a kitchen sink. The one we bought two months ago turned out to be inappropriate for our job, and the replacement sink arrived broken. Sigh. A new sink is due to be delivered tomorrow and work can recommence once it’s here. Provided it arrives unscathed.

Since looking at my half-finished kitchen and all its contents scattered through the house has been depressing me, I decided it was time to stop thinking about what bugs me and focus on some of the things that bring me daily pleasure. Sort of a counting my blessings exercise to remind me how really great my life is. I tend to take for granted all the little things (and some big ones) that work for good.

So in random order, here are 10 large and small things making me happy right now:

Hearing birds, especially red wing blackbirds, on my morning walk.

Being able to pay my bills.

A giant list of books I want to read, and most I can read for free by checking them out from my library. Sometimes a long TBR list stresses me out, but most of the time I love having many compelling books to choose from.

I am currently healthy and not injured (knock wood).

My new home. Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for our new place. I love it so much!

I heard the frogs singing after a much-needed rainstorm Thursday night.

That much-needed rainstorm—we’ve been in a serious drought.

Good friends who encourage me, inspire me to be a better person, and who share in my adventures.

Loving family relationships—watching our niece and nephew moving into their roles as parents, talking with my stepmom on the phone for more than hour this week.

Our kitchen remodel will be done soon and it will be wonderful!

I know many people are suffering right now, and I understand how privileged I am. Even in an objectively good life, little irritations and worries can add up, and make me forget just how good it is. It was time for me to spend a few minutes refocusing on what I love rather than what’s bugging me. In addition to feeling better, I am better able to help those around me when I’m not mired in negativity. Helping others makes me feel happier, and so it goes, in a virtuous cycle. Remembering what makes me happy right now? It’s a start.

What are some things making you happy right now?

A quick update today: kitchen remodeling is underway! The good news: the kitchen will not take (knock wood) as long as the bathroom to complete. The bad news: it’s really hard to feed yourself without a kitchen sink, dishwasher, and counters. Food prep is tough, and washing dishes in the laundry tub is, shall we say, problematic. We do have use of our stove and oven, which helps. We can cook the food, but cleaning up after is a pain.

Lots of waiting around for contractors to arrive, noise, disruption, mess, and chaos—the animals are handling it better than the humans, probably because their meals aren’t affected.

This project has been hanging over my head for months—I’m excited to see it in progress, and it will be a huge relief to have it finished. We’ve been thrilled with our bathroom renovation, and I think we’re going to be just as happy with our kitchen. We’re not moving plumbing or changing the configuration, but the cabinetry will go almost to the ceiling and there will be corner cabinets instead of dead space. I’m hoping this will solve some of our storage problems—and we’ll be able to unpack the last couple of boxes in the garage!

A tiny sneak peek:

This has been my adventure for the week—what was yours? 

Photo by Shamblen Studios on Unsplash

The advertisements and marketing emails are everywhere: Mother’s Day is coming. And for those of us who no longer have our mothers with us, this can be a painful time of year. Rather than hide from it, I’ve been thinking about what we can do to enjoy the day. Here are four ways we can celebrate Mother’s Day if our moms are no longer with us. 

Celebrate the women in your life who fill a mothering role for you

I’m lucky to have a few cherished older women in my life I still look up to. My mom’s twin sister, my stepmom, and even my high school creative writing teacher who I’ve remained in touch with for 40+ years. These women continue to inspire me and love me unconditionally, and even though I don’t need advice from them very often anymore, I know I could ask them for it and hear something of merit.

Celebrate any new moms you know

In our family, we have two new moms: our niece, Jennifer, and our nephew’s wife, Kelly. Both are navigating the first six months of their new roles, and both are the kind of women I’m proud to call family. Their strength, humor, and love will serve them well as moms. I’m excited to watch a new generation of parents in our family!

Remember with gratitude all you loved about your mom

Until recently, I found it too painful to think much about my mom and our life together. That is slowly changing, and I’m starting to be able to remember fun times we shared, and look back with gratitude for her presence. I so wish she could see our new home and talk over my plans for changes and updates—we both would have enjoyed that immensely!

If you’re a mom, celebrate yourself!

I am a mom, and it’s been one of the most challenging and mind-blowing roles of my life. I made many mistakes (still do) but I’ve loved being a mom and am grateful for the experience. I’m also grateful for the chances for personal growth being a mom provided—I know I’m a better, stronger person because of it. 

Miss you, Mom

I miss my mom, and I know I was lucky to have a caring mother and a good relationship with her—not everyone has that blessing. Whatever your relationship with your mom, good or bad, whether she is present or gone, I hope you have a happy Mother’s Day!

If you feel comfortable, share one happy memory of your mom in the comments!

P.S. If you still have your mom, give her some extra love this year on Mother’s Day!

Photo by Lan Gao on Unsplash

“For is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth, even a kind of second adolescence? It is true that society in general does not help one accept this interpretation of the second half of life. And therefore this period of expanding is often tragically misunderstood. Many people never climb above the plateau of forty-to-fifty. The signs that presage growth, so similar, it seems to me, to those in early adolescence: discontent, restlessness, doubt, despair, longing, are interpreted falsely as signs of decay. In youth one does not as often misinterpret the signs; one accepts them, quite rightly, as growing pains. One takes them seriously, listens to them, follows where they lead. One is afraid. Naturally. Who is not afraid of pure space—that breath-taking empty space of an open door? But despite fear, one goes through to the room beyond.”

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift From the Sea