Photo by Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash

“Happiness held is the seed; Happiness shared is the flower.”

—John Harrigan

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

I’ve always tried to make Catching Happiness an escape from the chaos and suffering we see around us in the world, and a small oasis of peace and joy. I find it encouraging that there are always bright spots of happiness, hope, and dreams to be found if we only look for them. Here are a few that I’ve found lately.

Author and illustrator Susan Branch shares many simple pleasures and everyday adventures on her blog. She and her husband have relocated and downsized from their home in Martha’s Vineyard to California, and I’ve enjoyed reading about her adjustments to, plans, and dreams for their new home.  “Summer Dreams” is her most recent post. 

“Hope in Difficult Times,” Action for Happiness podcast. There were many encouraging takeaways in this episode, so if you only click on one link, make it this one. 

In “How to Become Enchanted by Life,” Leo Babauta notes that we often turn magic into the mundane and offers suggestions for how to reverse that tendency. 

For science-backed tips to improve your happiness habits, check out “Eight Ways to Stay Happier This Year, According to Science.”

Find more tips for boosting happiness here. 

I’m not the only one who comes back from travel inspired. Stephanie reflects on lessons learned from a dream trip to Italy in “Maybe the Hobby Lobby Sign Was Right.”

This doesn’t surprise me at all.

I might be spending way too much time watching the Big Bear Eagle Live Nest Cam, which features bald eagle pair Jackie and Shadow—and their three tiny eaglets!

What bright spots have you discovered lately?

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

In the past I’ve shared various definitions and types of happiness, such as momentary pleasure, overall happiness, and long-term contentment. Today I’d like to add well-being to the list. As some researchers note: “Well-being has been defined as the combination of feeling good and functioning well; the experience of positive emotions such as happiness and contentment as well as the development of one’s potential, having some control over one’s life, having a sense of purpose, and experiencing positive relationships. It is a sustainable condition that allows the individual or population to develop and thrive.” I think that’s what most of us are looking for when we talk about wanting to be happy.   

A few weeks ago, I attended a webinar sponsored by Action for Happiness called “New Ways to Be Happier” with Vanessa King, an expert in positive psychology and author of 10 Keys for Happier Living. During the webinar, she asked the question,

“What practices do you do regularly that you know will help you maintain your well-being long term?” 

That’s a question worth thinking about. 

My personal well-being practices

The first two that came to mind were reading and writing. I don’t feel “right” if I don’t read and write every day. Reading for enjoyment and escape, as well as encouragement, education, and inspiration (see “Some Books That Saved My Sanity” for recommendations from a particularly rough time). 

Writing—journaling in particular—is also a foundational practice.

A few additional practices are important for my well-being, too. These include: spending time outside, regular exercise (primarily walking and yoga), getting together with friends. I also really enjoy art journaling…when I take the time to do it.

More well-being practices

What practices you choose to bolster your well-being are as individual as you are. Some popular practices include:

Practicing gratitude. 

Laughing.

Listening to music.

Finding an inspiring song or quote and writing it down. 

Connecting with your faith through prayer or in community with others.

Seeking help from a counselor.

Practicing mindfulness and/or meditation.

Prioritizing well-being is self-care

When you prioritize your well-being, you’re taking care of yourself—your physical, mental, and emotional health. Yes, self-care enables you to be there for others when you’re needed, but there is no reason to justify caring for your well-being. You are a person, therefore you are “worthy” of care, full stop.

When life gets busy, it’s easy to get sloppy with your well-being practices. It happens to everyone. As soon as you can, though, take a moment and look inside to see what you need. What is your heart, your mind, your body crying out for? Rest? A healthy snack? Fifteen minutes with a good book? A meetup with a friend? A long run (or a short walk)? To stand on the grass with your face to the sun?

Well-being is a topic I’m going to continue to explore for myself and for the blog now that my time isn’t so taken up with major life events. Simply having fewer things scheduled every day contributes to my well-being!

Now it’s your turn: What practices do you do regularly that you know will help you maintain your well-being long term?

For more information:

Tips to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being

National Institutes of Health’s Emotional Wellness Toolkit

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I count myself lucky to have friends I’ve collected through high school, college, mothers’ groups, horseback riding, art, and more. I even stay in loose touch with one friend I’ve known since second grade (hi, Julie!). I have friends online I’ve never met in person, and it’s no accident that I begin every Happy Little Thoughts newsletter with the words “Dear friends.” 

Happiness and friendships

Good relationships are the single most important factor of a happy life. We all hope that our family relationships will be positive and uplifting, but sadly that’s not always the case. We get to choose our friends, and those friends can help fill our emotional needs and provide support when we need it. Fun with friends is one of the best joys of life.   

I count my friends as some of my biggest blessings, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

To celebrate the priceless love of friends this Valentine’s Day, here are 10 quotes highlighting different aspects of friendship. Which one is your favorite?

“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’”—C.S. Lewis

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“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.” –Baltasar Gracian

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“It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds. It’s your best friends who are supremely resilient, made under pressure and of astonishing value. They're everlasting; they can cut glass if they need to.”—Gina Barreca

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“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief”—Marcus Tullius Cicero

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“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”—Khalil Gibran

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“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”—Elie Wiesel

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”—Anais Nin

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“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”—Unknown

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“True friends are always together in spirit.”—L.M. Montgomery

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“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends. I love you more than words can say!

Calendar courtesy of Action for Happiness

Just wanted to pop in to wish you all a happy New Year, and share a few resources to help 2025 get off to a positive start. I have no affiliation with these people or organizations, but I have enjoyed and benefited from their offerings in the past. Here’s to a happier new year!

Check out 10 Days of Happiness—a free online program to boost your wellbeing. 

Click here to download your own Action for Happiness Happier January calendar (see image above). 

Design your year with Gretchen Rubin. 

Instead of charging into 2025, why not enjoy a “Gentle January”? This really appeals to me right now as I sit in my house full of boxes! (But hurry, because the live event is tomorrow, Jan. 2. Replay is available, but I think you need to be signed up in order to receive it.)

Remind yourself that good things happen, even when times feel hard. (Many of the most positive things are happening in countries other than my own. It’s helpful to remember that eliminating suffering anywhere is a good thing.) 

Wishing you all a joyful 2025. Now back to unpacking…

Photo by kike vega on Unsplash

Last week during yoga practice, our teacher, Terry, started us out with an affirmation that used the term “practicing happiness”—and it captured my attention. Despite all my years of thinking and writing about happiness, I’ve never really thought of it in terms of “practicing” happiness or having a “happiness practice.” 

What does practicing happiness mean?

The word practice is both a verb: “to do or perform often, customarily, or habitually,” and a noun: “a repeated or customary action.” 

Using the verb definition, I thought about what practicing happiness would look like. The way you get better at something is by doing it. Therefore, happiness can be something you do, like practicing kindness, or practicing yoga.

Here are some things to think about if you want to practice happiness—and get better at it!

Define what makes you happy. Do you know? It’s not always what you think! I’ve written before about three forms of happiness—momentary pleasure, overall happiness, long-term contentment. Think about what you need to be happy in these three ways. 

Seek out “happiness streams.” Don’t leave your happiness to chance. 

Deliberately look for ways to add fun to your life. Summertime with its more relaxed vibe is a good time for most people to add a little fun to their lives. 

Keep trying. Maybe something you thought would make you happy doesn’t. Don’t give up if you’re disappointed. Maybe you’re simply worn out and don’t want to add one more thing to your mental to-do list, even if it’s happiness related. Rest, then try again later.

(If you need some ideas, see “7 Things You Can Do to Feel Happier.”) 

What gets in the way?

Practicing happiness sounds pretty good, but plenty of things can get in the way. Some things that stop us from practicing happiness include:

• Neglecting your own needs and wants in favor of others
• Feeling guilty for enjoying yourself or being happy when others are not
• Waiting for permission
• Waiting to be invited
• Work and responsibility
• Apathy/low energy
• Grief/sadness

Happiness busters will always be with us, unfortunately. All we can do is keep at it. Even when times are hard, we can still find moments of joy. Ask for help when we need it. Allow negative feelings to pass through us. If happiness is important to you, do not give up seeking it.

Your happiness practice

It may seem like semantics, but if you practice happiness on a regular basis—not just now and then—you create a happiness practice (see the noun definition above). I think of it is as being similar to how I’ve been taught to practice yoga. It’s OK to be imperfect. Each day is a little different. What feels good and right? How can you stretch yourself while still listening to your body (yourself)? Just like a yogi comes back to the mat, you can come back to the practice of happiness whenever you want.

—Edith Wharton

It’s been a while since I read a new book about happiness. When I saw the title of this one, I had to pick it up since my word of the year is build: Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier, by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey (2023, Portfolio/Penguin, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC). I’m always drawn to the idea that we can do something to create a happier life.

An overview of Build the Life You Want

I think this is a good basic book about happiness, and it’s a pleasant, easy read. While there’s nothing especially new and ground-breaking, it contains some great reminders about ways we can influence our own levels of happiness.

Build the Life You Want is broken into three parts:

1. Understanding happiness and unhappiness.

2. Managing your positive and negative emotions.

3. Building a happier life by focusing on four pillars: family, friends, work, faith.

The book concludes by encouraging readers to “become the [happiness] teacher,” since “The best happiness teachers are the ones who have had to work to gain the knowledge they offer, not the lucky ones who fall out of bed every day in a great mood.” (This one sentence sums up my mission and motivation for creating Catching Happiness!)

A few takeaways that resonated with me

You can have high happiness and high unhappiness at the same time. The two can coexist. You don’t have to wait until all unhappy feelings are gone before you start to get happier.

The “macronutrients” of happiness are: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. Enjoyment goes beyond pleasure by combining it with communion and consciousness—sharing a pleasurable activity with someone else and making a memory together. Satisfaction is the thrill of accomplishing a goal or something you have to work for. And purpose, or meaning, helps us face our struggles with hope and inner peace.

Regarding emotions: “Your emotions are signals to our conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action—that’s all they are. Your conscious brain, if you choose to use it, gets to decide how you will respond to them.”

I loved the suggestion to “choose a better emotion.” You don’t have to accept the emotion you feel first. You can substitute a better one that you want. Use gratitude, humor, hope, and compassion to find and feel more positive emotions.

I’d recommend Build the Life You Want if you want a refresher course in becoming happier.

What are your favorite books about happiness?

Recently we had some small dead trees cut down, leaving open space we’ve never had before in our naturally-landscaped backyard. The fall of those trees crushed the ferns growing beneath them, and that whole area of the yard wears a shocked look, like it doesn’t know what happened to it. Nearby, a tall pine, uprooted and left leaning by Hurricane Irma, continues its slow decay, occasionally dropping branches onto the ground. Even though we have mild winters in Florida, there’s a lot of dead stuff. While it’s never pristine, our yard currently looks, shall we say, disheveled.

Yet at the same time, new growth is everywhere. Pale green oak leaves burst out beneath their canopies of Spanish moss and some of my favorite flowers are blooming. Simultaneously beautiful and a mess.

That’s kind of how I feel.

As time does its healing work, the internal walls I put in place to keep going when I had to, even though it was unbearably hard, are collapsing and the emotions and questions I have about that surreal period when both my mother-in-law and mom were dying (it’s a blur) are bubbling to the surface.

I find myself with questions and regrets about how my adult relationship with my mom played out. In particular, how far away we lived from each other. I missed out on frequent, “ordinary” things, like going shopping together, and I worry that I neglected her in ways I didn’t understand because I wasn’t there to see her struggles. My mom was my bedrock person, the one who loved me best. Though we had differences of opinion and viewpoint, I never doubted her love, and I did not have to do anything to earn it. I’m coming to terms with what it means to lose that.

At the same time, I’m deeply enjoying creative projects; delighting in beautiful spring weather; feeling love for my family, friends, and animals; savoring simple pleasures and everyday adventures whenever I experience them.

Even while I was going through my mom’s decline and death, sitting by her bedside daily, watching her slip away, even as I felt such great sorrow and grief, I noticed that I could still find comfort and even joy in certain things…many of them small. It was like the dial of my emotional sensitivity was turned up high—even though I was excruciatingly sad, I could take deep pleasure in a walk in nature, eating a favorite meal, or using an app to identify bird songs. I could be both sad and happy—broken and blooming. 

As I wrote in the October 2023 edition of the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter, “This year has brought home to me the truth that even though we often perceive the world in extremes of either/or, life is really more a case of both/and. 

“We can feel multiple emotions at the same time: sorrow over losing a loved one and relief that they’re no longer suffering.

“I’m working on making my thinking more flexible. Allowing myself to feel joy and grief, without judging either one. Allowing life to unfold as both wonderful and challenging...because, frankly, that's what it is, and what it's always been.”

Even though I’ve outwardly held it together and “been strong” for what feels like forever, inside I have broken and tender places. But there are also blooms pushing their way upward, little tendrils of joy reaching for the light.

There is no question that this world holds unfathomable heartache. We see it on our screens, and in the eyes of those we love, and sometimes in our own faces in the mirror. But don’t forget that this world also holds joy, love, pleasure, and beauty, too.

I came across these perfect quotes from @motherwortandrose on Instagram this week:

“You get to experience enchantment even if you are deeply heartbroken by the world.”

“You are allowed to experience beauty and pleasure even when you are heartbroken.”

My mission on Catching Happiness has always been to focus on the simple pleasures and adventures of a happy life, rather than the heartbreak. Over the past year, I’ve found that increasingly more difficult, but I’m still committed to that goal. I hope today holds more enchantment, beauty, and pleasure than heartbreak for all of us. If you’d like to share something that lifted your spirits recently, we’d love to hear about it! Please share in the comments below. 

“Of course you will and can want more. You should want more. But you should also spend time trying to want what you already have. It’s slightly different from ‘practicing gratitude’ or appreciating or thanking a higher force or God for what you have…. It means: Don’t let what you already have be the baseline. Think of yourself before you gained what you have, and remind yourself how much you want that, what you already have—your spouse/partner, your family, your house, your job. Imagine you in an alternate universe where you don’t have your family, can’t have your kids or your partner, how desperate that alternate-you would be to get what you have. Or if you don’t believe in the multiverse, the you from five years ago.”

—“Adam Parkson” in Happiness Falls, by Angie Kim

My decluttered office bookshelves

After a year in which I had little control over my time and even less over my emotions, I’m planning to make 2024 a year for restoring and building. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I’d like to see happen in 2024, personally and professionally. Today’s post is a check-in to see how things are going.

I thought it might be useful to talk about my goals on Catching Happiness throughout the year—it’ll keep me accountable, and maybe it will be helpful to you to see how I (try to) break larger goals down into smaller steps. I’ll share progress, missteps, and sources of inspiration. If there’s something you’d like to me to write more about, please feel free to comment below, or contact me directly at kathyjohn335 [at] gmail [dot] com. 

Goals and happiness

In January’s edition of the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter, I revealed three of my major goals for 2024 and wrote the following paragraph:

“What do goals have to do with happiness? Having goals to work toward, something to look forward to, contributes to hope, optimism, and, yes, happiness. According to Action for Happiness, ‘Direction’ is one of the 10 Keys to Happier Living.  Goals which are good for happiness are those we choose for ourselves, rather than things we think we ‘should’ do; they’re things we want to move towards rather than things we want to stop doing; they’re personally meaningful for us and reflect our interests and values; and we have control over how we work towards them.” 

(If you don’t get the Happy Little Thoughts newsletter but would like to, click here. Happy Little Thoughts comes out on the last Wednesday of each month, and I don’t share or sell your email address.) 

While I have additional goals that I may discuss later, the three I shared in the newsletter are:

• Write a draft of a book I’ve been thinking about for years.
• Declutter (to some extent) my whole house.
• Complete an online dog training course and train my dog, Luna (hopefully won’t take the entire year to do this one).

How did I do in January?

Welllll, results were mixed. January was a FULL month: we hosted guests from out of town twice (family last weekend, my friend Kerri for the first week of the month) and I dealt with a few miscellaneous life maintenance things like dental appointments and household repairs. Tank was seriously sick and between worry, hospital visits, and trips to the barn to shoot medicine down his throat (you can guess how happy that made him) I didn’t have much bandwidth for anything except getting through the day. Here’s how things went:

Goal 1: In January, I wanted to go over what I already had written and organize my materials, as well as start regular writing sessions three times each week. I knew it would be a busy month, so I wasn’t ambitious. I did collect my materials, briefly look them over, and I managed one writing session total. Not a great start, but considering my stress and busy-ness levels in January, I’m not too surprised or disappointed.  

Goal 2: For my whole-house declutter, I’m working on two rooms each month, pairing a simple one with a more challenging one. In January, I worked on my home office and our guest bathroom. I’m basically finished with both—though my office (the challenging room) still has a couple of minor things that need to be taken care of. It looks so much better and is now a place where I want to spend time working again.

Goal 3: I’ve purchased an online dog training course (SpiritDog, no affiliation) after trying out some of their free offerings, but all I managed to do in January was read a couple of emails and watch a couple of short videos. 

What’s next in February and beyond?

I don’t think February will be as busy a month, but it is a shorter month so I’m still being conservative with my expectations. I want to build consistency and momentum.

These are my plans for February:

Goal 1: I’m considering investing in a couple of online book writing courses, and I’ll decide whether or not either of them is appropriate. I’ve blocked out time for writing and research sessions. I’m planning to experiment with writing in different locations, both to reduce distractions (Laundry! Dishes! Luna wants attention!) and to make writing more fun.

Goal 2: I’ve got my next two rooms picked out: my kitchen and dining room. In January, my habit was to set a timer and declutter for at least 15 minutes a day. That worked well, so I’m going to repeat that process.

Goal 3: I’ll schedule time for reading/watching the dog training course, and short sessions of training with Luna several days a week.

I’m still kind of feeling my way. Each month, I want to review my progress and make any necessary adjustments, but I probably won’t do an update like this on the blog every month. Maybe quarterly? The idea of having to publicly report my progress or lack thereof is pretty motivating! (And a little scary!)

I want to be a person with a mannerly dog, in a decluttered house, who has written a book. These goals will all take time, consistency, and the building of habits. It’s only February, and I’m still filled with optimism. We shall see what the rest of the year has in store.

If you’d like to share your own goals in comments below, I’d love to hear them!

“There are many more ordinary hours in life than extraordinary ones.

We wait in line at the supermarket.

We spend hours commuting to work.

We water our plants and feed our pets.

Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those

ordinary hours.”

—The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Haemin Sunim

Photo by Prince David on Unsplash

“Everywhere you look, you see people pursuing happiness as if it were something they could capture and cage. But pinning happiness down only destroys it. It’s too wild for that—it needs room to roam. You have to give it time, let it wander, surprise you.”

—Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro, Repacking Your Bags: Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life 

Photo by Manda Hansen on Unsplash

This week, the U.S. celebrated the 4^th of July with barbecues, fireworks (or drone shows), pool parties, etc.

How did my husband and I celebrate?

We ordered a new washer and dryer because ours is dying a noisy death.

Whee.

(At least I didn’t clean the bathrooms, which is something I usually do on a Tuesday.)

Starved for fun

Despite “Fun” being one of my words of the year, I’ve been seriously starved for fun. Sheer, unadulterated, non-productive fun. For the past several years, between COVID restrictions, caregiving, loss, and grieving, I’m not sure I remember what I think fun is. 

I know I’m not the only one. Many of us are out of the habit of having fun. Part of it is stress and busyness, part of it is coping with the constant onslaught of terrible news and social media outrage. We’re tired and overwhelmed and sad. (Or is that just me?!) It feels like too much effort to do anything more demanding than sit on my couch and scroll Instagram while binge watching whatever show we’re currently into.

Isn’t it time I—we—had a bit more fun?

What IS fun, anyway?

I’m glad you asked. Different things are fun for different people, and the ways you have fun are totally OK. What’s fun for me might not be fun for you, and vice versa. I’m going to use a definition from Catherine Price’s book, The Power of Fun: “True Fun is the confluence of playfulness, connection, and flow.”  She goes on to say that the signs of true fun include: “laughter, a sense of release/freedom/letting go, feeling like you’re having a special, shared experience, losing track of time, feeling free from self-judgment and self-consciousness, feeling like you’ve temporarily ‘stepped out’ of normal life, being fully absorbed and present, not caring too much about the outcome, and a feeling of childlike excitement and joy, a positive boost in energy, feeling totally yourself.”

Wow, does that sound great.

Looking back, here are a few things I can point to as genuine fun:

Visiting The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. 

Attending the touring Broadway production of Six at my local performing arts center. 

Sitting with artsy friends at a table laden with art supplies, working on our travel sketchbooks.

Playing in the pool with my husband and our dog.

I didn’t list every possible fun experience, but I did have to work a little to find moments that fell into the definition of fun. While I’ve experienced many moments of pleasure, contentment, even quiet joy, I see that I haven’t been having a lot of fun. Even my summer fun list could be more FUN. Even though I want to do those things, they actually aren’t all specifically fun as defined above. 

But how do I have more fun?

How do I change this? I don’t want to turn fun into work, but I may need to push myself a little to get off my couch to investigate what might be fun for me. I’d like to expand beyond some of the activities I do all the time.

For one thing, I have been trying to add in weekly adventures, as described in Laura Vanderkam’s book Tranquility by Tuesday. Vanderkam encourages us to do at least two things that will be worth remembering each week—one little adventure (an hour or less) and one big adventure (one that takes a few hours). 

I’m going to follow my curiosity, and allow myself to look for opportunities to connect and play. I’m saying yes more often.

Fun is an antidote to the seriousness of life. Fun is a powerful contributor to happiness, as Price writes:

“That’s yet another power of fun: it produces happiness. More specifically, the pursuit of fun provides a blueprint for happiness by shifting our focus from an amorphous emotional state (I want to be happy) to an active experience (I want to have more fun). Given that we are invariably happy while having fun, the more fun we have, the happier we’re likely to be; the ingredients for fun are in many ways the ingredients for happiness, but with better instructions. Fun also helps us sneak up on happiness without scaring it away. In fact, one of the reasons that orienting our lives around fun may make us happier is that happiness isn’t the direct goal.”

That’s a good enough reason for me. Let’s go have some fun.

What do you find fun? Please share some of your fun favorites in the comments!

For more information on the importance of fun and joy:

The Power of Fun, Catherine Price 

Tranquility by Tuesday, Laura Vanderkam 

This Is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch, Tabitha Carvan

I've seen this several places and it cracks me up!

Welcome back! I hope you’ve enjoyed a peaceful and happy start to 2023. It’s been about as peaceful around here as it ever is (except for a couple of home appliances giving up the ghost).

Ready or not, it’s a new year

I wanted to do a lot of reflection on 2022 and some looking ahead to 2023 during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, but my husband was off work so we wound up doing some much-needed shopping (see: home appliance death, above) and hanging out together. I wouldn’t trade this, even though it briefly left me feeling behind. Here it is January 6^th and I haven’t done any of the things I like to do before the start of a new year. I haven’t chosen a word of the year. I haven’t set any goals for the year, or even for the month. I haven’t made a vision board, or even added birthdays to my new planner.

And that’s OK. I’m not behind. And you’re not either, if you find yourself in the same position I’m in.

Even though the beginning of a new year is a natural starting point, it’s still just an arbitrary date. You can start (or stop) an activity, goal, or dream at any point, on any day.

I would rather be “behind” than rush the process.

I’m gong to continue working thoughtfully through my end-of-the year rituals until that process feels finished. (I’ve also been loving seeing and listening to the goals of some of my favorite bloggers and podcasters. Inspiration for my own.)

New year, new attitude

I spent a good portion of 2022 feeling overwhelmed and, often, depressed. I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to do much more than just what I needed to do to fulfill my commitments and responsibilities. But now I feel a small upwelling of energy and desire. There are things I want to accomplish, places I want to go, people I want to see. While I’m being cautious, it feels great to want to set goals and make changes.

The first week of January has started softly. I’m taking down everything pinned on my bulletin board and I’ve emptied out my Happiness Jar—and started refilling it. I’m listening to music while sitting in my office rocking chair and dreaming of what might be in 2023. I’m feeling happy. I hope you are, too.

How is your new year beginning?

A few fun resources for New Year dreaming and goal-setting:

Gretchen Rubin’s “23 for 23” printable

Best of Both Worlds podcast: 2023 Goals

Every January, Make Two Lists (a more practical alternative to resolutions)

Photo by Simon Ray on Unsplash

Don’t you get fed up with feeling helpless, that the world’s problems are too big to solve? This reminds me of productivity expert David Allen’s statement that you can’t “do” a project. You can only do steps of a project. 

So as individuals, we if we can’t solve [insert problem here], maybe we can take a small step towards a happier world, for ourselves and for others. Being kind, generous, and thoughtful is good for your own mental health as well as benefitting others. Every action counts. If we do nothing, nothing will ever change.

Here are five simple ways to make the world a happier place:

1. Help a teacher. If you have kids in school, start with their teachers. If you have friends who are teachers, ask them what they need. If you don’t know any teachers, check out Donorschoose.org. Teachers have borne a larger-than-their share of stress and turmoil over the past few years, and they could use our support.

2. Donate to a local food bank. Food banks across the U.S. are struggling with both greater need and the higher prices of food. Money is always appreciated, but another way I like to do this is to stock up on my grocery store BOGO deals—donating one or both of the items. 

3. Support small businesses, locally and online. Buying holiday gifts from small businesses (or makers on Etsy) is one way to do this. Watch for ways to participate in  Small Business Saturday (Nov. 26), a day set aside to celebrate and support small businesses and all they do for their communities. 

4. Support the authors, artists, and musician you love. When I think about how many hours of comfort and joy my favorites have given me, I realize that I could do more to say thank you. Monetary support through buying their offerings is only one way to support them. You’re already supporting them by reading their words, listening to their music, and gazing at their art (checking books or music out of the library counts)! But if you (I) want to do more, you can always share your favorites publicly on social media, or just in conversation with a friend.  Leave positive reviews or ratings. Send your favorite a message or fan letter. Follow them on social media and subscribe to their newsletters if they have them. This helps them to “build a platform,” which can lead to more sales.

5. Don’t forget yourself. That’s right, you heard me. Treat yourself kindly. Put having fun on your to-do list. If adding one more thing to the list makes your head explode, look at what’s already there and figure out how it might be made more enjoyable. If you’ve already scheduled some self-care, circle it in red and congratulate yourself for your good sense. (Click here for some simple ways to treat yo-self. For more great, mostly free self-care ideas, see “99 Free (Or Affordable) Self-Care Ideas for Your Wellness Routine.”)

Most of all, let your default be kindness. Take a beat when you’re tempted to snap at someone. No doubt this is an extra stressful time of year and I’m willing to bet that we’re all fighting hard battles of one form or another. So smile, be patient, listen.

(Want more ways to be kind? See “10 Ways to Spread Kindness.”)

We do not have to give in to the awfulness of the world. We can spread the ripples of kindness, even if we fear those efforts won’t make that much difference. I always ask myself, “What kind of person do I want to be?” Do I want to know in my heart that I did nothing, or made things worse, when I could have done some small thing to ease someone else’s burdens or give them an emotional lift? I remember how I feel when someone does something nice for me, and while I’m not always aware enough (or capable enough at the time) to do the kindness, it is my goal to be that person. Let’s keep trying to spread kindness and happiness in whatever ways we have available to us.

Please share in the comments below your ideas for small, simple kindnesses—I’d love to hear them!

Every morning I tear off a page in my Positively Present page-a-day calendar. Recently, the message of the day was this: 

We all thrive when we’re in the right environment.

It’s a simple statement that got me thinking. It is so true that just like plants and animals, we need the right combination of elements in order to thrive, not just survive. Those elements will be different for each person. And while we all have limits on the way we take charge of our environment, we also have more control than we might realize.

For my purposes today, I’m defining “environment” as:

The literal physical space—your home, office, car, etc., in which you exist.

The circle of people closest to you—your family, friends, and co-workers.

What you see and hear—what you fill your mind with, what you read, watch and listen to, including books, websites, music, TV, podcasts, and so on.

I’ve written about this concept before, in “Change Your Environment, Change Your Emotions—Three Simple Ways to Support Positive Moods,” and those principles still work for me. I continue to make strides in decluttering (tidiness), and I still love opening the blinds to let in the light and diffusing essential oils when possible. The cleanliness and beauty of my physical surroundings matter to me. I concentrate on the things I can change, rather than the things I can’t—like the fact that I live in Florida, where I find the humidity difficult (to put it mildly) to deal with.

What matters to you in your physical space? What colors, scents, objects, sounds, and so on, bring a lift to your spirit? Ingrid Fetel Lee’s website The Aesthetics of Joy is a fantastic resource for information on creating happier surroundings. 

I’m incredibly lucky to have a wonderful circle of very supportive friends, as well as a relatively peaceful and loving family. This is not to say that everything is always wine and roses here, and there are times when I have to set boundaries in order to help maintain that tranquility. This is hard for me, and I do it imperfectly, but such is life.

This is almost always the hardest category to deal with. If you have someone in your circle who stunts your growth for whatever reason, you don’t always have the ability (or even the desire) to completely cut off ties. But it helps to be aware of their effect on you, and perhaps take steps to offset it. Check out “13 Steps to Get Along with Difficult People” for some techniques for coping with people you might find challenging to be around. 

Doesn’t it seem like an uphill battle to protect your mind from all the bad news we’re inundated with? Sometimes I have to disengage from media (social and otherwise) for a while. Too many shouty headlines, and so, so much harsh unkindness and ugliness. At the same time, I do not want to hide from the important issues of the day. This is definitely an individual choice, as what is just right for me might be too much for you, or not nearly enough. What I do is look for reputable, balanced sources of news that don’t specialize in click-bait-y headlines. I monitor my anxiety levels to see when I need to back off. (One way to counterbalance bad news I recommend is the bi-monthly Future Crunch newsletter, which highlights positive news from around the world.) 

Otherwise, I’ve been filling my mind with good books, music, podcasts that interest me, and TV that I enjoy. For more information, check out Positively Present’s thought-provoking “Considering Content Consumption.”

Creating an uplifting and supportive environment doesn’t mean you should never seek points of view or experiences that challenge you, of course. That’s a part of learning, which one key to happier living. But you’ll likely thrive (rather than just survive) when your overall environment is suitable for you. 

So think about the factors which make up your environment, and whether or not it’s one that supports and nourishes you.

What are some of your strategies for creating a positive environment? Please share in the comments!

Photo by Justin Ha on Unsplash

Even though I love winter in Florida (so much less sweating!), right about now I need a refresh. My routines have become ruts. I’m caught up in reading bad news and forgetting how fortunate I am. I don’t want to fail to enjoy or appreciate what I have, and I want to gently encourage myself to move forward on my personal and professional goals. If you feel the same way, maybe you need a spring refresh, too! 

Since my word of the year is simpler, I’m starting small and not adding a lot of unnecessary complexity. I’ve chosen these six simple pleasures to embrace spring: 

• Growing a mini herb garden

Despite (ahem) mixed success with gardening, hope springs eternal. I love having fresh herbs available when I cook, and they are less work to grow than vegetables. M-a-y-b-e I can keep them alive through our brutal summer? Right now, I have basil, rosemary, oregano, and thyme. Unfortunately, my lavender plant recently died a quick and puzzling death. I may call this good, or I may add one or two additional herbs, depending on how these fare.

• Keeping fresh flowers on the kitchen table

This is a continuation of something I’ve been doing for a while, but it brings me so much joy every day that it’s worth mentioning. (The only downside is keeping my cat from pulling on the flowers and knocking over the whole shebang, sending a waterfall onto the floor!)

• Investing in new pots and pans

My current set was given to us as a wedding present more than 30 years ago. I cook dinner most nights, so my pans get used a lot. I won’t tell you how long it took me to decide on a set, but I finally did! I haven’t actually used them yet—they’re sitting on the kitchen table until I clear out the old ones—but I’m looking forward to trying them out.

• Lighting a candle (rather than cursing the darkness)

Even though the days are getting longer, I still get up while it’s dark because my husband goes to work so early. I don’t like it. So I try to make the early mornings as pleasant as possible. I enjoyed the calm I felt while reading by the Christmas tree in December, so I’ve tried to recreate that feeling by lighting a scented candle and keeping the lamplight low while I do my morning reading and journaling. It feels like being held in a little circle of peace.

• Following a schedule

Over the past couple of pandemic years, my already loose schedule went completely to pieces. I felt like I was either always working, or always wasting time. I’m experimenting with putting myself on a schedule with set work hours, an actual lunch break, and weekends off. I need a way to work with reduced distraction while at the same time keep work from bleeding into all waking hours. My goal is to reduce the number of decisions I make about my time, while still retaining some flexibility. Right now, a schedule feels like a safe place, and a way focus on what I can do instead of on all the things I can’t.

• Wearing perfume

My friend and walking buddy, Barb, inspired me to stop saving my perfume for “someday.” During our walks, we often share our efforts to declutter and organize our spaces, and one thing that comes up is things that we’ve been saving for special occasions. Perhaps you’ve noticed we’ve had very few special occasions in the past two and a half years? We both have multiple perfumes and scented lotions cluttering up our bathrooms. I’ve started putting on perfume almost every day, even if I’m not leaving the house. Just because it gives me pleasure.

Are you ready for your own spring refresh?

Refreshing your life doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or require huge changes. If you’re not sure where to start, think about what would be pleasing to your senses. What sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches will refresh your spirit and boost your mood? Perhaps you could start listening to music while you cook or do other household chores (also on my list to try!), eat at a new-to-you restaurant (or buy takeout), experiment with diffusing essential oils, set up a reading nook with an extra fluffy throw, or refresh your home or office by buying some spring-ish decor (or even just rearranging what you already have). Remember, you don’t have to make major changes to see real benefits…unless you want to!

Just writing about these things is boosting my mood! This weekend I’m going to see what other spring refresh-ments I can think of.

How about you? What are your favorite ways to refresh your life in spring? Do share in the comments!

For more ideas for bringing spring joy into your life, check out these resources (no affiliation):

Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness, Ingrid Fetell Lee (Amazon, Bookshop). I wrote a blog post about this book here.

Aesthetics of Joy website (by the author of Joyful)

Hill House Living, Paula Sutton (Amazon, Bookshop).

Alexandra Stoddard’s writings, particularly Living a Beautiful Life (Amazon, Bookshop) and Creating a Beautiful Home (Amazon, Bookshop).