Watching the sun set on 2025  Photo by Marta Sitkowska on Unsplash

’Tis the time of the yearly recap, the year-in-review post, and a look back at 2025’s highs and lows. Sort of the Christmas letter of the blogging world! Wait, don’t click away—I promise this won’t be a recitation of accomplishments that makes you feel bad about yourself. Quite the opposite.

Some people have long lists of goals and accomplishments to share in their recap posts. Not me, at least not this year. Mainly because I didn’t set any major goals in 2025. Basically, I just wanted to get unpacked and settled, and allow myself to recover from the multiple stresses of the past two years. At the beginning of 2025, I was simply too burned out to set any goals or take on any projects. It felt really, really weird. And it feels weird to not have much to show for 2025, which was mostly a quieter, less stressful year, with one big exception. 

Tending the soil

As I wrote in “You Cannot Always Be Harvesting”: “Just as in gardening, in writing, in other creative endeavors—even in life itself, there must be times of planting, feeding, nurturing, even lying fallow.” 

I would call 2025 a year of preparing the soil. Digging out the rocks, adding compost, and yes, allowing some areas to lie fallow. Much of my time and energy was consumed by unpacking and getting settled after our move, and organizing and supervising multiple home projects. I was also responsible for prepping and maintaining our old home while it was being shown.

While 2025’s harvest wasn’t particularly impressive, I can see a few tender shoots pushing through the soil. Smaller accomplishments I can build on in the coming year.

I didn’t take any big trips, but I did go on a beach weekend getaway with my husband, our first in literally years.

I didn’t immerse myself in art journaling, but I did resume regular sketching in my France sketchbook, in person and virtually.

I didn’t “get in shape,” but I did start a new at-home workout plan to get into the habit of doing something physical nearly every day. I wanted to get this habit in place before a new year started, and so far, I’ve been mostly sticking with it.

I tried to hold on to my word of the year, ease, through all the ups and downs of 2025, which was not easy, especially when I wound up immersed in grief, again, with the loss of my horse. 

I still pursued simple pleasures and everyday adventures, and I posted more regularly on Catching Happiness, which always makes me happy. Not a flashy year, 2025, but a solid one.

Hopes for 2026

What’s ahead for 2026? I feel more grounded, less scattered, and more capable of dreaming and planning. Grief is still with me (I suspect it always will be), but it’s a passenger—it’s not driving the bus. I do plan to set some specific goals for 2026, though I’m not completely sure what they are yet. I’m planning to use the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day to reflect and come up with some possibilities. I’ll likely turn to Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year or Jamie Varon’s Year in Review to continue reviewing 2025 and get a start on planning 2026. (Both are free, and I have no affiliation with them—I just appreciate their work.) 

As always, thank you for sharing another year with me and Catching Happiness. May the last week of 2025 be filled with much joy and fun plans for the future!

What have been some of the highlights of your year? Any special plans for 2026?

Getting ready for holiday fun!

Last year at this time, we were unpacking after our move and were still recovering from Hurricane Milton. I couldn’t think about winter fun or hosting Christmas without bursting into tears. This year, I’m looking forward to it! I’m also looking forward to experiencing more fun in general…at least until the next home renovation project starts. 

But before I get to winter fun, here’s a quick review of my fall fun list. I was able to check off most of the items:

Put together a fall themed jigsaw puzzle like this one. Finished.

Enjoy watching Lightning hockey and Buccaneers football on TV. I like sports and use them to bond with family members. I’m excited that I can finally watch Lightning games after being unable to for a couple of years since the team changed the company that airs their games locally.  Yes! Go Bolts and Bucs!

I forgot all about the Hillsborough County Fair, and I still haven’t managed persimmon cookies. However, I did bake pumpkin bread and pumpkin scones.

After watching planner videos, I abandoned the one I was planning to buy because I fell in love with the cover of this planner. One of my past favorites came from Archer & Olive, so I expect to love using this one.

Enjoy the annual The Girl Next Door fall extravaganza podcast. These two are so much fun to listen to, and I love their annual look at all things fall. Done.

Ease back into visits to the barn. No horse can ever replace Tank, but I still love horses and am lucky enough to have access to them through my friend who owns the barn where Tank lived. I want to start going there now and then to get my horse fix. Resuming regular visits to the barn has been hard, but I’m sticking with it.

I’ve ordered the photos for my album of special Tank photos, but haven’t yet put it together.

Continue and expand my art education and practice through regular sketching, art journaling, and using the art instruction books I have. I want to do artsy things most days of the week. I am doing some art, just not as much as I want to do. A work in progress.

Participate in Positively Present’s annual Gratitude Challenge (link is to last year’s challenge). I participated as many days as I could. Not as many as I would have liked, but oh, well. 

I didn’t read much from my fall reading list, just The Thirteenth Tale, by Diana Setterfield, and I’ve started The Small and the Mighty, by Sharon McMahon. I’m still waiting for my turn with the new Thursday Murder Club mystery, The Impossible Fortune.

I didn’t get around to reading  The Accidental Alchemist by Gigi Pandan, Lauryn Harper Falls Apart, by Shauna Robinson, or September, by Rosamunde Pilcher. I also didn’t get around to Keys to Drawing, by Bert Dodson, or Carolly Erickson’s To the Scaffold: The Life of Marie Antoinette. They’re all still on the TBR list for someday!

On to holiday/winter fun

Host Christmas for our local family.

I’ve got another puzzle lined up to start after Christmas.

Brunch at Oxford Exchange with M. A holiday tradition.

Bake molasses sugar cookies to eat and give as gifts.

I want to take some field trips, maybe to The Book Rescuers and/or The Paperback Exchange, and this citrus U-Pick farm.

Continue making friends with new horses at my old barn, taking advantage of our nice winter weather.

Visit Bok Tower Gardens again, hopefully before the “Dream Weaver: Tales from the Trees” event finishes. 

Hopefully, this is just the start of winter fun. The future also holds some travel planning, working around another major home renovation we want to do in 2026.

What winter fun do you have planned?

Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash

I love giving gifts. It’s fun to think about what my friends and family enjoy doing, or would love to have but wouldn’t buy for themselves. Finding something the recipient will really love brings me great joy.

But giving gifts is not always about things, or even experiences. Instead of a list of stuff to buy, here are four gifts that cost nothing at all and take up no room (these gifts relate to how we treat others, but we can offer them to ourselves, too):

1. Time. We’re all so busy that it’s easy to get caught up in what we have to do. Make sure spending time with friends and family makes our to-do list. The next time a friend wants to get together for lunch or a parent asks us to come for a visit, make it happen. Zig Ziglar was right when he wrote, “Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had’ or ‘I’m glad I did.’”

2. Attention. Somehow our world of constant online connection has made us more disconnected than ever. We can give the gift of attention by putting our phones away, looking others in the eye, and listening to what they’re saying without interrupting or trying to hurry them along.

3. Kindness. It’s really not that difficult to be kind. All it takes is a little self-control, a little putting-ourselves-in-others’-shoes. We can start by thinking before we speak (or type). (Click here to read “10 Ways to Spread Kindness.”) 

4. Patience. Yesterday in the grocery store parking lot, I saw a guy honk at the car in front of him because the driver didn’t immediately pull forward the second my foot left the crosswalk. Don’t be that guy. Take a breath, slow down, realize we’re all dealing with our own challenges and being impatient only makes us all more frustrated.

I know this is a frustrating, anxious, difficult time to be alive. Let’s try to make it better by giving these gifts to our loved ones—and everyone else—this holiday season.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

In the whirlwind that was November, I failed to mention a milestone: Catching Happiness’ 16^th anniversary! Sixteen years is an odd milestone to highlight, but last year’s 15^th anniversary came and went unnoticed because I was so completely immersed in both hurricane cleanup and moving/selling our house. 

During the past 16 years and 3,000+ posts, I’ve experienced and shared many highs and lows, simple pleasures and everyday adventures, and I’ve learned a ton about happiness in general, as well as what makes me personally happy. In my very first post, I wrote: “What I hope to do is add a little to the world’s store of positive things: information, beauty, entertainment… I’ll try to balance posts that will help you get to know me, with posts that (hopefully) help you learn something new, make you smile or say, ‘I didn’t know that.’”

Through all these years, my purpose has never changed, and I’m proud of the body of work stored on the pages of Catching Happiness.

So in no particular order, here are 16 things I’ve learned from studying and writing about happiness (click links to see posts I’ve written related to these lessons):

1. It’s OK to be happy…even if others aren’t. 

2. Sometimes happiness doesn’t “feel” happy. Sometimes you have to endure discomfort or make sacrifices for happiness in the future or to do what you believe is right. (See next lesson.)

3. Single-mindedly pursuing feeling happy isn’t the goal. That can actually make you unhappy. 

4. Despite number 3, there are things you can do to make it more likely you’ll be happy. You can set yourself up for a better chance at happiness. 

5. You can get better at happiness by practicing. 

6. Happiness is individual—what makes you happy might not make me happy, and vice versa.

7. You can simultaneously experience happiness and [insert negative emotion, such as grief, anger, and so on]. Two things can be true. 

8. The goal isn’t to avoid negative emotions at all costs, but to provide a foundation of happiness that supports you through hard times. 

9. Making others happy makes you happy. Making yourself happy makes others happy. 

10. We don’t have enough fun. 

11. Experiencing deep sadness can expand your capacity for happiness. 

12. The most important factor for happiness is cultivating good relationships. 

13. The term “happiness” encompasses a number of definitions and nuances. 

14. You don’t have to pursue extraordinary experiences to feel happy—much happiness comes from the simple and ordinary.

15. Sometimes, happiness is a choice. 

16. Happiness sometimes involves forgetting and letting go.

A lot has changed in my life since I started Catching Happiness, but I still love thinking and learning about ways to live a happier, more satisfying life—and sharing what I find with you. Big thanks to all of you who spend your precious time with me—I appreciate your comments more than you know! 

Photo by Jovan Vasiljević on Unsplash

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

—G.K. Chesterton

Done!

Earlier this week I was surprised to realize that Thanksgiving is next week. OH. That means we’re just a week (or so) away from November being over. Here’s what’s been happening, Chez Catching Happiness.

Bathroom reno

The bathroom renovation is done (see above)! All that remains are a few odds and ends like hanging towel bars and pictures, and choosing some new decorative pieces to complete the space. It’s so beautiful and tranquil and definitely worth the weeks of chaos. It makes me happy every time I go in there. 

Now I’m sorting through everything we pulled out of the bathroom while the reno was taking place, putting things away and getting rid of yet more stuff. How many ratty old towels does a person need? It feels great to get our bedroom and closet back to normal after using them to store all things bathroom-related while the work was going on.

Gratitude Challenge

I started the Gratitude Challenge with a bang, posting nearly every day…but then bathroom chaos moved into overdrive and I got sick with a cold, and posting daily felt like Too Much. I missed some great prompts, so as I get back on track, I hope to mix in a couple of my favorites that I missed. There are still nine days left in November to refocus on gratitude. 

(Not) filling the void

After nearly three months without Tank, I haven’t found anything to truly fill the void—which doesn’t surprise me. I’m still missing him, grieving for the loss of his companionship and the peace and joy I found at the barn with horses and horse people. I’ve been to the barn a couple of times, but of course it’s still more heartbreaking than happy at this point. I really do miss being around horses, though, even if they’re not mine, and I’m making plans to go back regularly and befriend a few new residents there. I didn’t stop loving horses with Tank’s loss, and I don’t want to squander the horse connections I still have. Plus, the barn owner is my friend, and she’s so busy I won’t ever see her if I don’t go to the barn! 

What’s been happening in your life in November?

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

“I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”—Brene Brown

Despite the current chaos in my life—or perhaps because of it?—I decided to join in Positively Present’s annual Gratitude Challenge again. I’ve participated in some fashion every year since 2014, but the past couple of years, my posting has been erratic. This year I want to post more consistently, and so far, I’ve posted a picture and short reflection on Instagram every day. 

After this many years of participating, it’s challenging to find a fresh way of talking about what I’m grateful for. It’s not that I’m not grateful…it just feels like I’ve been saying the same thing over and over, because the things I’m most deeply grateful for don’t change. I don’t want to sound like I’m just parroting what I’ve said before, so I’m trying to think more deeply about each prompt. Even when I fall short of my desired originality or depth of thought, I remember that the words aren’t the most important thing (a hard admission for a writer): the gratitude is. And I welcome the chance to actively focus on what I’m grateful for.

If you want to participate, click here to read Positively Present’s prompts. You don’t need to post your thoughts publicly to benefit, but it is fun to see what everyone else shares (if you do share on social media, use #gratitude30 and tag me so I won’t miss your posts! I’m @kathyjohn335 on IG). You can find my posts on Instagram, and I will run a round-up of my favorites here on Catching Happiness at the end of the month or the beginning of December. 

Until then, what are you grateful for this week?

Everything knocked down

Last Monday, we started a complete main bathroom renovation, which means I won’t be able to indulge in hot bubble baths before bed (one of my favorite simple pleasures), and my most private spaces, my bedroom and bathroom, have been invaded by strangers. My dog doesn’t know what to think (she needs to bark a lot, but then maybe lick everyone???), and my peaceful days haven’t been very peaceful. The renovation is necessary (we had a leak inside a wall and the old tub was a death trap), and it will give us the chance to update the space and make it just what we want.  It’s going to be beautiful, but the process is messy, noisy, and disruptive. That’s what it takes to make a BIG change.

As you know, I’m a fan of baby steps to get where you want to go, but sometimes you have to knock everything down and start from scratch. 

Renovating a bathroom is not unlike renovating a life.

Right now, I’m standing in the rubble of my previous life as well as the rubble of my bathroom. I’ve racked up a lot of losses and big changes over the past few years, and a couple of those losses have impacted my identity—who I see myself as. I’m no longer a horse owner (though I still consider myself a horsewoman). I recently lost my freelance business’s last paying client (though I also still consider myself a writer). I moved from my home of 28 years into a much smaller place—no longer can we accommodate multiple overnight guests and big family get-togethers. Our hosting experiences will have to look different.

It’s a lot to absorb and perhaps I shouldn’t feel surprised that I don’t know where I want to go from here while feeling distressed by all the demolition! 

Unseen work

A lot of the work being done on the bathroom, such as plumbing and electrical, is essential but won’t be visible to the eye once the project is finished. Careful attention to the unseen and unglamorous details is necessary if you want the result to function well in the long term. It doesn’t matter how pretty your tile is if you have to rip it out to repair a leak or an electrical problem. I think of that the same way I think of the internal work I’m doing with myself. I’m currently in a place of reevaluation. Again. What do I want to do with my time? How can I best use the resources I have? And I can’t believe I’m asking this again, but who do I want to be?

And no matter how impatient I am to try out my new bathroom, I have to remember that big overhauls take time. Even when you dread living through the mess and inconvenience, it takes the time it takes, and rushing will only cause problems. If I dive into new commitments without the necessary foundational work, I may regret rushing into something that won’t be a good fit.

It also comforts me to realize that even when you do knock everything down and start over, the entire change doesn’t happen all at once. It occurs over the course of weeks or months and through many tiny decisions (my beloved baby steps again). A lot of thinking through choices happens, and little details get ironed out. Taking time to be thoughtful about these choices now will bring me happiness in years to come. Just as taking time to ponder my future direction may help ensure that it’s one I’m happy with for the long haul.

How can it be wonderful?

Sometimes the remodeling of a life comes about like the remodeling of a bathroom: because of an unexpected and/or unwanted event, like a leak in the wall. When you have to fix one thing, you may stop and look at everything. Is this the time to change it all up? How can it be wonderful, not just functional or patched together? Yes, you’ll have limits of time and money, but what is actually feasible in the space? In your life? Perhaps now is the time to dare to think bigger and better.

I’ll probably have a new bathroom before I have the answers to these questions, but at least I’ve started asking them.

Any big changes going on in your life? Drop a comment below if you want to share!

Photo by Svitlana on Unsplash

I’ve spent less time than usual online lately (unless you count shopping for bathroom fixtures—we’re renovating our main bathroom), but I do have a few little online treats for you today. Hope you find something here that brightens your day or makes you think (in a positive way)! Get cozy and dive in. 

Click here to learn how you can change your life (or at least make a few little changes) before 2026. 

Support your mental health with these simple pleasures. 

Thoughtful list of “10 Things We’ll Regret When We’re Older.” 

Since we’re entering “cozy season” soon (I hope), check out “This Is What “Cozy” Looks Like Around the World.” As the article says, “Seeing ‘coziness’ take on so many different forms shows this concept’s more about a mindset than an aesthetic.” 

I like Morgan Harper Nichols’ take on “creating an archive” rather than “getting inspired.” 

I’m technically a little older (ahem) than “midlife,” but I still feel like I’m learning these habits. 

I absolutely feel the pressure described below in “The Tension Between Rest and Living Fully” (one of my favorite quotes: “A full life isn’t the same as a full calendar.”)

Happy Friday, everyone!

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

It might seem strange that I love fall so much since I’ve lived my entire life in states (California, Florida) that don’t have significant changes during that season. I trace that infatuation to my eight-year-old self’s astonishment when I saw trees decked out in bright yellows and reds while visiting my grandmother in Virginia one October. I instantly fell in love. I’ve been in love ever since. Crisp air, colorful leaves, a season of harvest and gratitude—what’s not to love? 

So how does a Florida girl make it feel like fall? By using the five senses to manufacture it.

Fall and the five senses

Maybe in Florida we don’t have the quintessential fall sight of color-changing leaves, but there are changes in the slant of the light. We look outside and say, “It looks like fall.” Other ways to focus on the sense of sight include watching movies set in the fall (vicarious leaf peeping!), decorating the house with fall-themed items, doing a fall jigsaw puzzle, or going to a pumpkin patch to sketch or just enjoy the fall decorations.

Fall scents include burning a candle or diffusing essential oils with fragrances like cinnamon, apple, nutmeg, or pumpkin. Baking fall treats like pumpkin bread or apple cider doughnuts can also make my house smell like fall.

What does fall sound like? In some places, the sound of rain falling or the wind blowing sounds like fall. That’s more a summer thing for us, so I’ve lately been playing cozy ambience music videos on YouTube. Click here and here for a couple of my recent favorites. 

Tastes of the season include the ubiquitous pumpkin spice latte, and the aforementioned fall baked goods, but also how about soups or chili? It will soon be cool enough (fingers crossed) for these types of foods.

Fall touches I’m looking forward to are a fuzzy blanket to curl up under, and definitely the feel of cool, dry air from the first cold front. I can’t wait!

The fall fun list

Another way I welcome fall is by planning out specific activities to enjoy during the fall season, from now until Dec. 21 when winter officially starts. I’m not a Halloween Girl and I don’t like scary stuff, so my fall fun doesn’t involve haunted houses, horror movies, or anything too dark, but if you like that, go for it! My husband always enjoys the expanded scary movie content on TV during October. Here are some fall fun things I’m looking forward to (a few of these items are not directly fall-related, but I want to do them during the fall season):

Put together a fall themed jigsaw puzzle like this one. 

Enjoy watching Lightning hockey and Buccaneers football on TV. I like sports and use them to bond with family members. I’m excited that I can finally watch Lightning games after being unable to for a couple of years since the team changed the company that airs their games locally.  

Attend the Hillsborough County Fair. In all my 30+ years of living in Hillsborough County, I’ve only gone to this fair twice. Since the larger state fair is near us, we often don’t think of attending the county fair.

Bake fall treats. Last year I didn’t get around to making persimmon cookies, so I’m going to try again this year. I also plan to bake at least one loaf of pumpkin bread.

Choose a 2026 planner. I watch planner videos because it’s fun, but I also get helpful knowledge to help me make my choice. Since I use my planner every day, and take a lot of pleasure in doing so, making a good choice makes a difference and I like to take my time and enjoy the process. 

Enjoy the annual The Girl Next Door fall extravaganza podcast. These two are so much fun to listen to, and I love their annual look at all things fall. 

Ease back into visits to the barn. No horse can ever replace Tank, but I still love horses and am lucky enough to have access to them through my friend who owns the barn where Tank lived. I want to start going there now and then to get my horse fix.

Create a small photo album of special Tank photos. A thoughtful friend gave me an album for this purpose, and I’ll enjoy choosing photos to represent our time together. (I’ve already compiled a short video montage of photos for Instagram.) 

Continue and expand my art education and practice through regular sketching, art journaling, and using the art instruction books I have. I want to do artsy things most days of the week.

Participate in Positively Present’s annual Gratitude Challenge (link is to last year’s challenge). 

Read from my fall reading list (see below).

(For previous years’ fall fun lists, click here and here.) 

Did you say fall reading list?

I’ve never made a fall reading list before, but they seem to be popping up all over. Why not join in? My list is a combination of “books that feel like fall,” including Gothic or dark academia, as well as non-fiction that helps me learn something (going back to school vibes). I’m also including books from my TBR shelf I’d like to read before the end of the year. (TBR shelf books marked with *)

I thought The Accidental Alchemist by Gigi Pandian, described as a “supernatural cozy” sounded both fun and fallish. 

A new Thursday Murder Club mystery? Yes, please! The Impossible Fortune, by Richard Osman, has 147 people ahead of me waiting for it so it might be a while before I get my hands on it. 

The Thirteenth Tale, Diana Setterfield. Described as “a cozy and literary modern day Gothic mystery with a side of family dysfunction.”  

Lauryn Harper Falls Apart, Shauna Robinson. This sounds like a cozy comfort book, and the apple festival sounds very fall-like. 

*September, Rosamunde Pilcher. I’ve liked other Pilcher novels, and this one sounds like a good choice for fall reading.

*The Small and the Mighty, Sharon McMahon. From “America’s favorite government teacher,” this book tells the stories of 12 “ordinary Americans whose courage formed the character of our country.” 

*Keys to Drawing, Bert Dodson. 

*To the Scaffold: The Life of Marie Antoinette, Carolly Erickson. 

Looking at these lists, I’d better get busy! There’s a lot of fun to be had this fall, and I’m definitely looking for ways to have fun.

What fun things are you planning to do this fall? Any fall reading plans? Do share in the comments below!

Fall reading lists to check out:

Your Fall Reading List Is Here—20 Books We Can’t Stop Talking About 

The PERFECT Autumn Vibes Reading List For 2025

31 spooky (but not too scary) books for your fall reading list

20 Dark Academia novels for moody fall reading

Photo by mosi knife on Unsplash

Watch Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning in the theater with my husband. 

Take an in-person yoga class. 

Stay at the beach for the weekend with my husband—we’ve been trying to do this for a couple of years, but I’m confident we’ll actually get there this summer. When you actually stay at the beach, you can get out early before it’s as hot as the surface of the sun, or watch the sunset at night, then go back into air-conditioned comfort.

Make key lime pie ice cream.

Do at least one jigsaw puzzle.

Try some new recipes because I’m sick of what I make for dinner. Though I wouldn’t normally class this as “fun,” I’m trying to find ways to make feeding ourselves more enjoyable.

Celebrate my father-in-law’s 90^th birthday!

Check out our new neighborhood pool. Maybe with a cold drink and a book if they have umbrellas (I can’t remember if they do). (They do.)

I did get together with friends, ate summer fruit like crazy, and, of course, and read up a storm. Which brings me to…

What I read

I’m very happy with how I did with my summer reading list, finishing Kristin Lavransdatter and several other books (TBR shelf selections marked with *):

*Kristin Lavransdatter, Sigrid Unset. This is a chunky book I’ve wanted to read for a while, and I bought a copy so I wouldn’t have to worry about library due dates. I’m going to start it soon, and if I don’t like it, I’ll put it aside. If I do like it, it might take me all summer to read!

*Death and the Dutch Uncle, Patricia Moyes. A book series I enjoy that the library doesn’t have. I’ve collected most of my copies from Paperback Swap. 

Native Nations: A Millennium in North America, Kathleen DuVal. I have a growing interest in learning about the United States’ indigenous people, and this book won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for history (tied with Edda L. Fields-Black’s COMBEE: Harriet Tubman, the Combahee River Raid, and Black Freedom During the Civil War). 

Run for the Hills, Kevin Wilson. It’s described as “a touching and generous romp of a novel,” which sounds perfect for summer reading. 

Ordinary Time: Lessons Learned While Staying Put, Annie B. Jones. I’m all for honoring the ordinary. 

Heartwood, Amity Gage. Suspense on the Appalachian Trail. This sounds so good! I’m number 69 on the hold list at the library, but hopefully it will come in before the summer ends.

*Daisy Miller and/or Washington Square, Henry James (both books are in the edition I have). According to Goodreads, “Each work weaves an intricate tale of marriage, money, and manners.” 

 Travels with My Aunt, Graham Greene. I’ve not read anything by Graham Greene, and this sounded interesting. 

*Small Victories, Anne Lamott. Lamott’s essays are always thought-provoking and often hilarious. I haven’t read this collection, and I found it in my library’s book store for $2. 

*Bruno, Chief of Police, Martin Walker. Because WHY NOT start a new mystery series?? This one is set in France, so oui, s’il vous plait.

Coming soon: fall fun

While we’re still waiting for our first cold front, I’m determined to find ways to mark the beginning of fall. In Florida, fall is the most fleeting of seasons, but I’ve got a fall fun list in the works to make the most of it. I’ll post it next week (hopefully), along with my first ever fall reading list!

What fun plans do you have for fall?

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been overwhelmed by the messages, cards, and even gifts people have sent me following Tank’s death. Not only did these show kindness, but also understanding of how big a role he played in my life, how deeply intertwined into my identity his presence was. So THANK YOU to everyone who has reached out. During a very sad time, these gestures have made me feel seen and cared for.

I went to the barn for the first time after on Wednesday, to catch up with my friend who owns it and to drop off supplements and feed I had stored at home. I have other horse items to give away but I’m not ready yet to part with them. It’s not like holding on to Tank’s blanket will bring him back, I know. But it also makes the loss even more final. Every time I let go of a Tank thing, it feels like tearing off a fragment of my heart. There’s only so much I can lose at one time.

The past few years have been a season of loss for me. My dad in 2018, then my mother-in-law and mom in 2023. I’ve had more practice handling grief than I want, and one of the things I’ve learned is that you have to allow it to rise to the surface, you have to feel it for it to pass. You can’t let fear of the pain keep you from letting it in. You can manage it, put boundaries on it, find ways to support yourself through it…but you have to feel it.

I hate that.

I hate that I have a handful of articles in a file folder labeled “grief” and an Instagram collection called “healing.” I’m sad that I need these things, and yet, why wouldn’t I? No one is immune to loss, pain, suffering, or struggle. While we may not “like” going through any of these experiences (I surely don’t), we can emerge finer, kinder versions of ourselves because of them. We appreciate the joys and pleasures of life more because we’ve experienced loss and pain. We know the ebbs and flows of experience. We appreciate happiness more after suffering through misery. And, hopefully, we hold greater patience and kindness for others, remembering that we don’t know what they’re privately struggling with. Several people I’ve talked with recently have shared their experiences with depression, grief, and other heavy emotions—so if you’re going through something hard right now, you’re most definitely not alone.

I don’t want you to think I’m some Pollyanna-ish figure here, happily looking for the silver lining. On Wednesday when I went to the barn, I did the ugly cry again, and spent most of the afternoon on the couch recovering. Sadness still pops up frequently, tears welling in my eyes unexpectedly when a thought takes me by surprise. I still can’t fully take in that he’s gone, and when I have no choice but to recognize that fact, I’m devastated all over again. And his loss reminds me of those other losses, and well, you get the picture. I’ll be walking with grief again for a while.

At the same time, I’m exploring the idea that feeling deep grief also strengthens my ability to feel deep happiness. Exercising my emotional muscles, if you will. And with the clarity that strong emotion sometimes brings, I’ll be reveling in the first hint of cooler weather, the taste of a freshly-baked scone, and how wonderful it feels to sink into a comfortable bed at the end of a tiring day. I’m looking forward to exploring hobbies I’ve neglected (art!) and continuing the process of fully unpacking and settling in to our new home (which I absolutely love). Remembering that nothing and no one lasts forever, I’ll more deeply embrace life’s simple pleasures and everyday adventures, and hopefully, share them with you.  

This is the blog post I’ve been dreading writing. On Monday, Tank sustained an injury he couldn’t come back from, and was peacefully and humanely euthanized at the equine vet hospital. I’m devastated, but also so, so grateful for the privilege of having him in my life for more than 21 years.

I’ve written often about our relationship, life lessons from the barn, and so many everyday adventures and simple pleasures resulting from having this lifelong dream come true. My time with him stretched me in almost every way, but one of the most important ways involved learning to be brave and do what needed to be done. I wasn’t perfect, but I did my best and I have no regrets about our time together. I loved and pampered him, and spent hours just hanging out with him. I studied horse care and horsemanship in order to give him a good life, not only because it was the right thing to do, but because I was so grateful for his presence. It gave me a lot of pleasure to care for him well, even when it became challenging as he aged.

Thinking deep thoughts

I wonder how many hundreds (thousands?) of pounds of carrots I’ve fed him over the last 21 years?!

Having my horse all these years has brought me joy, pain, sweat, and dirt, and involved sacrificing both time and money. I thank my husband for his gracious support of my horse dream. (Neither of us knew it would last for 21+ years and it’s probably better that we didn’t know how big a commitment we were making!) Despite my current grief, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Tank was absolutely the best boy, and everyone loved him, vets and farriers included, because he was always gentle and good (unless you tried to hot shoe him, and then he was definitely Not Good.). 

The last photo I took of Tank, after I gave him a shower to cool him off

I feel a little lost without him. I built my weekly schedule around visits to the barn, and suddenly I have time on my hands. It’ll take me a while to get my bearings. My friends and family have been kind and understanding and I’m grateful for that, too. I know eventually it won’t hurt so much, but for now, my heart aches when I remember I won’t be seeing his sweet face looking at me inquisitively, or be able to bury my nose in his neck for that therapeutic horse smell. 

Being Tank’s person changed me for the better and will always remain one of the greatest joys of my life. Even in grief, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the experience.

More Tank content:

Read about how I found Tank here. 

This post includes links to some of my favorite Catching Happiness writings about Tank.

Here is another one of my favorite posts.

I finished reading Kristin Lavransdatter this week. All 1,124 pages of it. 

And I have to say that I truly enjoyed immersing myself for two months in Kristin’s world (14^th century Norway), following her from childhood to old age (50ish!).

I usually read fast. There are so many books I want to read that I tend to gobble them up as quickly as possible. However enjoyable that may be, there are times, maybe more times than I want to admit, when I would benefit from and enjoy slowing down my reading pace. Maybe to savor the images or language, to learn something, or to spend time with characters I like, getting to know them better.

A longer, more complex book naturally makes me slow down. I’d like to intersperse more of these types of books with my lighter (and quicker) reading, but sometimes I’m loathe to commit to a longer book—if I get bogged down, I might not read anything, and that’s unacceptable!

Good reasons to read more slowly

Our culture encourages the fast and the surface, skimming and sound bites rather than in-depth study and understanding. We are drowning in “content,” and not necessarily better off than before the internet and the 24-hour news cycle. I’ve noticed a drop off in my ability to concentrate on longer pieces of writing. Conditioned by social media and blog posts, my ability and patience to read a longer work—online or off—has suffered. Partway through, my attention wanders and I start skimming. I don’t like that.

I also want to read slowly for the sake of pure enjoyment more often. Allow a book to fully sink in before moving on. How many times have I loved a reading experience, and by the end of the year, forgotten the main point of what I read, or at least the details of it? I’m hoping that reading slowly more often will improve my reading comprehension and sustained attention.

My slow reading game plan  

I was able to enjoy Kristin Lavransdatter slowly, while at the same time reading other, lighter books because I made a plan. When I commit to a book I know will take me a while to finish, I know I’ll want to read some of it every day in order not to lose the plot or momentum. Since I also want the freedom to read other things at the same time, I divide the length of the longer or more complex book into the length of time I want to commit to finishing it and come up with a number of pages to read every day. If I read more sometimes, that would be fine and would make up for any days I might not be able to read my page allotment. (I am also willing to abandon books altogether if I find I strongly dislike them. Life’s too short to read books you hate.)

Happily, I loved being immersed in a different place and time. Visiting snowy Norway every day has helped me pass the hot Florida summer more pleasurably. I loved getting to know a character more deeply, in this case, seeing a personality develop over a lifetime. I found peace and comfort when I sank into Kristin’s world every day.

Reading slow and fast

I won’t entirely give up on reading fast. Some books are tasty snacks, meant to be ingested quickly. Much of what I read is strictly for entertainment. But I enjoy knowing that I can commit to a longer or more complex book and still be able to enjoy quicker, easier, and/or more “fun” reads along with that deeper read. It feels good knowing I can stick to a plan and conquer a big book.

What’s next? Right now, I’m reading a few pages a day of Native Nations, and in future, I’d like to tackle a one-chapter-a-day slow read of War and Peace, as mentioned by Laura Vanderkam. I’m happy to have rediscovered how much pleasure there is in a long, slow read.

Do you enjoy reading longer books? What does your reading life look like?

Photo by Stéphan Valentin on Unsplash

Much of the U.S. is sweltering right now, so indoor pursuits sound much more appealing than outdoor ones (though as you read this, I’m at the beach…sweltering). Even though much of the online world is a hot mess too, here are a few interesting and uplifting internet destinations for you to check out.

Visit Action for Happiness for a monthly calendar of daily actions for a happier life. Every month has a different theme.

I’m currently incorporating a few of these suggestions from Courtney Carver’s “7 Simple Shifts to Trade Overwhelm for Joy,” specifically numbers one and three. 

Thanks to Laure Ferlita, I recently discovered Filling the Jars. I especially enjoyed “10 Simple Daily Habits to Start This Summer for a Calm and Soft Life.” Summer in Florida is hard for me; these slow and soft practices are helping me enjoy some things about my least favorite season.

“Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village” made me chuckle. A must-read if you, like me, love a cozy English village mystery. Tip: avoid the village shop. “They sell cheese, stamps, tea, and death.”

The news isn’t all bad. Click here for a roundup of good news stories from around the world. Their newsletter always encourages me.

I found the topic of “psychological minimalism” intriguing since I’ve been known to overthink things as well as become overwhelmed by the onslaught of news, notifications, information, and just plain mental noise.

Even if you don’t consider yourself “creative,” this is an inspiring watch:

Note: Catching Happiness is taking a summer break. See you in a couple of weeks!