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| Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash |
“Don’t let yesterday’s bad times or bad feelings influence
today’s thoughts and mood. You shouldn’t choose to dress for yesterday’s rain
if there are sunny skies today.”
—Karen Salmansohn, Instant Happy
Everyday adventures
This Post Brought to You By…Electricity! Or, Post-Irma Reflections
September 18, 2017
I’ve never before considered electricity a simple pleasure,
but I certainly do now. Following Hurricane Irma, which roared through Florida
Sept. 10-11, we went without power for almost four days. I’ve never been so
happy in my life when I came back from the barn last Thursday to see a light on
in my house! Since then, I’ve been grateful every time I flipped a light switch
or woke up to find coffee ready in the coffee pot.
Really, how did people live before electricity? I’ll tell
you how: they labored to produce meals and clean clothes, they lay sweating in
their beds at night (or shivering, depending on where they lived), they never
got a good look at themselves in a mirror (probably a good thing, judging by my
own appearance last week), their thoughts and energy were consumed by mere
survival.
The past two weeks have been mostly about getting ready for
a major hurricane, riding it out, and putting things back together again once
the storm was over. Because Hurricane Harvey was fresh in my mind, I took
Irma’s threat seriously, bagging ice from our icemaker and freezing water in
every available plastic container. I prepped the house for guests, since my
(divorced) in-laws would be staying with us, possibly for an extended time
depending on damage and/or power outages at their homes. I counted canned goods
and gallons of drinking water, dug out our emergency lanterns and candles, and
began a search for extra D batteries to power fans that might keep us cool
enough to sleep.
We cleared our yard of things that could become flying
missiles, my husband brought home all the computers from his office in case it
was destroyed, and I brought all my tack and tools home from the barn in case
the tack room blew away. Evacuating 20+ horses wasn’t practical for a number of
reasons, so we marked them all with some form of ID in case fence lines were
destroyed and they escaped their paddocks.
And more.
And then we waited.
By Sunday, we were huddled in front of the TV watching storm
coverage and obsessively checking Irma’s projected track. We suffered hours of
fear as the storm approached, especially after we lost power and we had a
harder time tracking it. It was terrifying lying in bed that night while the
trees groaned and the rain pattered, and we wondered whether a tornado spawned
by the storm would wipe us out, and whether Tank would be OK.
What a relief and a joy it was to wake up Monday morning to
find the house intact, and after a visit to the barn, my horse in one piece. I
think relief must qualify as a simple pleasure.
Irma wasn’t a fun adventure, but it was an adventure.
It challenged my planning skills, as well as my commitment to stay positive and
not make a bad situation worse. I had to let go of worry and projecting what
might happen. I had to believe that whatever happened we would be OK and we
would get through it. When my mind skittered ahead to wondering how long we’d
be without power, I wrestled it back to the present moment.
We were lucky. We had no damage to our home and we have our
power back. We had major clean up to do (see photos below), and lost some food
from our refrigerator and freezer. We found some holes in our hurricane
preparations that must be addressed.
This weekend while we collected debris in our yard, we also
watched butterflies flit from plant to plant. As I wrote this I heard birds
chirping and cicadas shrilling. Things look pretty much the same when I look
out the windows. But they don’t feel the same. At least for now, I hold simple
pleasures, like electricity, a bath, or light even more dear than I did before
after seeing how quickly they can disappear.
Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts—it means
something to know that others are thinking of you when you’re facing a scary
situation.
If you want to help the people of Florida who are faced
with a much more difficult road to recovery, here are some places you can do
that:
Charity Navigator's list of charities providing assistance following Hurricane Irma
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| 41 bags, one trash can, and one tree |
We came through the storm just fine, including Tank. We still don't have electricity, so I'm writing this from my husband's office. Lots of clean up ahead of us, but we're grateful it wasn't much, much worse. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!
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| Driveway |
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| Front walkway |
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| Tank says, "What's the big deal?" |
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little meh.
I’ve fallen out of the habit of sketching (again), Tank’s issues have wreaked
havoc with my schedule, and I’ve drifted away from my goals. I need a way to
regain my enthusiasm and motivation. Just in time for September’s new beginning, last week I happened upon blog posts from two different people who
in their own ways extolled the virtue of tracking. The first was Laurie
Perry (of Crazy Aunt Purl—now Crazy Tourist—fame) whose cute little stickers
and printable charts caught my fancy. The second was this thoughtful post from
Raptitude, which is worth a read in its entirety. (Go ahead and read it, I’ll
wait here.)
I believe in the power of tracking, and have used it at
various times to make changes in my habits. I’ve tracked money in/money out,
what I eat, my workouts, and for one week every quarter I keep a time log of
what I do all day. Tracking is great
for maintaining habits or making changes. Remember the Jerry Seinfeld Method for establishing a habit? It relies on tracking.
Why I like tracking
I like the practice of tracking because it gently helps me
to become aware of what I’m doing. I often live in my head, distracted,
daydreaming, decidedly not present. I’m forever thinking of what’s next
rather than paying attention to what’s now. At the end of a busy day,
I’m left wondering what I did—and why I didn’t do what I said was
important to me.
If you want to give this a shot, too, some things you could
track include:
- What money you spend/make
- What you eat
- Your workouts/physical activity
- Reading/study time
- Time spent painting or drawing
- Days you meditated
You can, of course, take tracking to an extreme, as I’ve
done in the past. But if you keep it simple and don’t try to track too many
things at once, you should be golden.
This is where you can make it as simple or as complicated as
you like. Hint: simple is usually better. You could create a spreadsheet, make
a chart you color in or fill with stickers, cross off the date on the calendar.
If you want to track your time, this is my favorite time-tracking log.
William Butler Yeats wrote, “Happiness
is neither this virtue nor pleasure, nor this thing or that, but simply growth.
We are happy when we are growing.” Tracking is one method of supporting ourselves
in our efforts to grow.
So I’m dusting off my workout tracker, and I’m going to
print out one of Laurie Perry’s charts to keep track of three areas that are
important to me: sketching, exercise, and writing. I’ll get to other areas of
importance soon, but right now this is all I feel I can handle, what with
everything else going on*.
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| You can't get much simpler than this. |
Have you tried tracking? How did it work for you? What would
you like to track now? Please share in the comments!
*Speaking of tracking…we live in central Florida, which at the time of this writing is square in the path of Hurricane Irma. We’re highly likely to be affected by this storm no matter which way it goes, so I may be out of touch for a while after this weekend.
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| Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash |
“Happiness isn’t something to lock down and keep in a cage.
It isn’t a distant finish line either. But you can choose it more often than
not and you can live in a way that isn’t pass/fail.”
—Danny Gregory, Shut Your Monkey
Essential Oils
Change Your Environment, Change Your Emotions—Three Simple Ways to Support Positive Moods
September 01, 2017
Acoustic guitar music plays low in the
background. The ceiling fan spins, the coffee is hot, the paper and pen just
right…on a good day, this is how I set the mood when I write. My office
walls are painted a certain color, the window blinds are always open during the
day, there are shelves filled with books, a glider rocker. I’ve done everything
in my power to make this room a happy place.
To energize, calm, inspire, comfort—whatever the emotion we
want to feel, there likely is a way to nudge ourselves in that direction by
manipulating our surroundings. Whether it’s the music we listen to or the
motivational quotes we tack up on our refrigerator, we create the atmosphere in
which our moods grow. As Sam Gosling, author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, wrote, “Much of the stuff we gather about us and the
environments we create are there not to send messages about our identities but
specifically to manage our emotions and thoughts.”
Here are three simple environmental factors that can
boost—or lower—your mood:
Tidiness
I don’t aspire to Marie Kondo levels of
organization, but it does make me feel lighter and happier when I look around
at tidy surroundings. I like knowing that if I open the hall closet door,
nothing will fall on my head. I’m in an ongoing battle with paper in my office,
and books everywhere else, but I make an effort to keep my kitchen cleaned up
and I make the bed most days because it makes me happy to see it like that.
I’m also prone to taking on a cleaning or organizing project
when I’m frustrated or blocked in my creative pursuits. Some would say I’m
avoiding my work, but I choose to think of it as a way to distract the inner
critic long enough to sneak some ideas by her. Making progress in one area (a
cleaned out hall closet) often leads to progress in another (a completed blog
post).
(Just don’t look in my office right now—eesh!)
Light
The presence or lack of light, especially natural
light, makes a huge difference to me. If we have a run of a few days with no
sunshine, I feel my mood lowering just like the clouds. Light is essential to
the human body, helping to regulate hormones that affect mood and sleep. You’ll
almost always find “step outside” on lists of ways to feel happier, and getting
some natural light is one of the reasons that’s so effective.
Scent
Essential Oils are Having a Moment. Everywhere you
turn, they’re touted as the cure for some malady. So far, my main use for them
has been scent. I diffuse oils in the bedroom, kitchen, and my car. I like when
things smell good! It’s a bonus when those scents have beneficial effects on my
mood, which some research suggests that they do.
According to Christopher Alexander in The Timeless Way of
Building: “There is a myth, sometimes widespread, that a person need only
do inner work…that a man is entirely responsible for his own problems; and that
to cure himself, he need only change himself…The fact it, a person is so formed
by his surroundings, that his state of harmony depends entirely on his harmony
with his surroundings.” To be truly happy, we still need to do the inner work,
but we can support that work with simple pleasures that make our surroundings
more to our taste. So if you find yourself battling sadness, fear, anxiety,
stress or other negatively-charged emotions (and who doesn’t?), take a look at
your surroundings. Maybe there’s something you can change that will help you
feel better.
What is your favorite way to influence your mood by manipulating your environment? Please share in the comments!
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| Photo by Gary Bendig on Unsplash |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: In our busy times, the
briefest pause to express a little interest in the natural world is
praiseworthy. Most of us spend our time thinking about other people, and
scarcely any time thinking about other creatures. I recently co-edited an
anthology of poems about birds, and we looked through lots of books and
magazines, but here is a fine poem we missed, by Tara Bray, who lives in
Richmond, Virginia.
Once
I climbed the roll of hay to watch the heron
in the pond. He waded a few steps out,
then back, thrusting his beak under water,
pulling it up empty, but only once.
Later I walked the roads for miles, certain
he’d be there when I returned. How is it for him,
day after day, his brittle legs rising
from warm green scum, his graceful neck curled,
damp in the bright heat? It’s a dull world.
Every day, the same roads, the sky,
the dust, the barn caving into itself,
the tin roof twisted and scattered in the yard.
Again, the bank covered with oxeye daisy
that turns to spiderwort, to chicory,
and at last to goldenrod. Each year, the birds—
thick in the air and darting in wild numbers—
grow quiet, the grasses thin, the light leaves
earlier each day. The heron stood
stone-still on my spot when I returned.
And then, his wings burst open, lifting the steel-
blue rhythm of his body into flight.
I touched the warm hay. Hoping for a trace
of his wild smell, I cupped my hands over
my face: nothing but the heat of fields
and skin. It wasn’t long before the world
began to breathe the beat of ordinary hours,
stretching out again beneath the sky.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2006 by Tara Bray, and reprinted from her most recent book of
poems, “Mistaken for Song,” Persea Books, Inc., 2009, by permission of the
publisher. Introduction copyright © 2010 by The Poetry Foundation. The
introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate
Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not
accept unsolicited manuscripts.
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| Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash |
August has been nothing but “feels like” temperatures over
100 degrees, twice-a-day trips to the barn to doctor a horse who is getting a
little fed up with the routine*, buckets of sweat, changing my clothes two and
three times a day, and trying to muster enough energy to keep up with the rest
of my life. When I think about the past few weeks, I think of the word
“heat”—both physical heat, and the “heat” of adversity.
Caring for an injured horse in August in Florida qualifies
as adversity in that it’s physically grueling, expensive, worrisome, and the
time and energy I’m expending taking care of him is being drawn from other
areas of my life. It’s not a devastating situation, but it is challenging.
Life has turned up the heat—and while I may complain about
it, heat is not all bad. We cook with it and create beautiful and useful things
with it. Heat both softens and hardens. It strengthens and refines.
Heat—adversity—in our lives does the same for us. It
distills and purifies our best qualities. It both softens our hearts and
hardens our resolve. Sometimes it brings to light our worst qualities so
we can acknowledge and work on them. If we never face even the smallest amount
of adversity, we’ll be ill-equipped to cope when one of life’s inevitable
traumas occurs.
Richelle E. Goodrich wrote in Making Wishes, “If you
couldn’t sense heat, you’d not be alive. And if that heat never grew
uncomfortable, you would never move. And if you were stagnant—unchallenged by
unpredictable flares—you would never grow capable of shielding yourself from
harsher flames. So yes, life was meant to drag you straight through the
fire.”
Coping with Tank’s minor injury has forced me to overcome
laziness, become more creative, and plan more carefully so I can keep up with
other responsibilities. I’ve had to pare away some inessentials because I
simply do not have time or energy for them. I’ve had to push myself when I
wanted to quit, and I’ve had to lie down and take a nap because I was too tired
to do one more thing.
I like adversity about as much as I like August (not much,
in case I’ve been unclear). I don’t wish for it, but I also try not to wish it
away because I know there’s value in it. I learn, I grow, I become a more
refined version of me. One better able to handle whatever adversity life
chooses to throw at me next.
What has adversity taught you?
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| Photo by laura skinner on Unsplash |
Unfortunately, I had to confine my solar eclipse viewing on Monday to NASA live-streaming since I procrastinated on getting eclipse glasses until it was too late. Even so, what an amazing event! I got goosebumps watching the sun reappear after being hidden by the moon.
In honor of Monday’s eclipse, here is a passage from
Virginia Woolf’s The Waves that beautifully describes the reappearance
of light:
“How then does light return to the world after the eclipse of the sun? Miraculously. Frailly. In thin stripes. It hangs like a glass cage. It is a hoop to be fractured by a tiny jar. There is a spark there. Next moment a flush of dun. Then a vapour as if earth were breathing in and out, once, twice, for the first time. Then under the dullness someone walks with a green light. Then off twists a white wraith. The woods throb blue and green, and gradually the fields drink in red, gold, brown. Suddenly a river snatches a blue light. The earth absorbs colour like a sponge slowly drinking water. It puts on weight; rounds itself; hangs pendent; settles and swings beneath our feet.”
We can choose to use an event like an eclipse as a marker
between one time and another if we’d like to make a new start or shake things
up. Or it can simply be an awe-inspiring natural event that adds a little
excitement to our ordinary days. One more everyday adventure for the
remembering self.
Did you watch the eclipse?
One more thing—at the post office yesterday, I bought these
cool stamps. They use heat-sensitive ink to mimic an eclipse:
Isn’t that cool?
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| Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash |
Did you know that the redesigned Catching Happiness includes
a new feature: the monthly Happy Little Thoughts newsletter?
The first edition is just about ready, so if you want to
receive it, please sign up here. I promise I will not share your email address
with anyone else.
Note: If you are already signed up for blog updates
(see sidebar at right), you do not need to sign up for the newsletter. You’ll
receive it automatically.
Don’t miss out on this Catching Happiness bonus—sign up
today!
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| Photo courtesy Public Co |
“We are sad at home and blame the weather and the ugliness
of the buildings, but on the tropical island we learn (after an argument in a
raffia bungalow under an azure sky) that the state of the skies and the
appearance of our dwellings can never on their own either underwrite our joy or
condemn us to misery.”
—Alain de Botton, The Art of Travel
Life happened last week.
Tank hurt himself, doing we know not what, and I’ve been
going to the barn twice a day to check on him, and clean and medicate his
wounds. (He somehow injured his neck and put a puncture wound in his face—I’ll
spare you the photos.)
I had intended to write some extra blog posts for Catching
Happiness last week so I could take a little summer vacation.
That didn’t happen.
Life happened.
Tank is fine—it’s not a life-threatening injury, but it does
require watching and extra care, and a little babying. Since the “feels like”
temperatures are more than 100 degrees right now, these barn trips leave me
dripping with sweat and exhausted by the end of the day.
I apologize for not having something new for you, but in the
meantime, I’m resurrecting summer reruns. The following post first appeared in December of 2010 (hence the reference to the holiday season), but the message is good any time of year.
The Gift of Permission
Most of us are thinking of what we and our loved ones would like as gifts this holiday season. Along with the wish lists we generally have, what about a gift we can give ourselves: the gift of permission? Here are three things we should give ourselves permission to do:Permission to have the life you want
Do you, deep down, believe you deserve the life you want? If you don’t, your dream life will never become real. Women in particular often put others’ needs first, and sacrifice their own goals and dreams in favor of helping others achieve theirs. This is not all bad, of course. Many of us find deep satisfaction in helping others. It becomes a problem when you always sacrifice your own dreams and wishes in favor of others’ and never or rarely have a chance to pursue your own passions and pleasures.
Joy Chudacoff writes in “Smart Women Give Themselves Permission,” “There comes a time when you will begin to feel a calling to create more of what you prefer in your own life. It does not mean that you do not love and care for all of those people who mean so much to you. It’s a signal that the time has come for you to embrace more of who you uniquely are.”
This is definitely an issue for me: why do I “deserve” to have my dreams come true—owning my own horse, working as a freelancer (i.e., often getting paid more in satisfaction than in money), simply having what I have in my life? I feel guilty because I have the time and resources to pursue the life of my dreams, and then I begin to dissipate my energy to such an extent that I no longer do have the time and resources to do what I want. I realize I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me it’s OK to have the life I want. The truth is, I deserve the life I want just as much as—not more than, not less than—any other human being does. And so do you.
Permission to be imperfect
I’m not saying you consciously think you have to be “perfect,” but I’ll bet you think you should be better. We could all be “better” than we are—it’s part of the human condition to be imperfect. If you’re like me, you can probably name 25 things you wish were different about you and your life. Stop worrying over that and feeling guilty about it and give yourself permission to be imperfect. Admit your flaws, then realize that’s just how it is right now. If it’s truly something that must be changed, then commit to changing, but refuse to wallow in the feeling that somehow you should have already overcome this problem and you’re a bad person for not having done so. (Channel Popeye by saying, “I yam what I yam.”)
Permission to try and succeed…or to try and fail
This is one of my biggest issues. When I have a big, hairy goal or project in mind, I often become paralyzed, equally worried about succeeding or failing! If I fail, I’ll be embarrassed and disappointed in myself. If I succeed, people might expect more of me and then I could fail their expectations—or my own. Safer and more comfortable just to do nothing.
And what if trying for your big, hairy goal causes someone in your life discomfort or inconvenience? That may be true. How often does someone else’s important goal cause you discomfort or inconvenience? How do you feel about that? Probably you feel that’s OK, within reason, if the other person’s activity or achievement is important enough to them. (I also refer you back to my first point.)
Regardless of success or failure, you should give yourself permission to try. Either outcome is better than not making the attempt.
So this is what we’re going to do. I give you permission to follow your dreams, to learn something new, to succeed, to do something badly, to be imperfect. And you do the same for me. But truthfully, we don’t really need each other’s permission, do we?
What would you do if you had “permission”?
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| Seen on a store window in New Orleans |
“If it’s a good idea, go ahead and do it. It’s much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.”
--Grace Murray Hopper
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| Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash |
“As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand
that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for
which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our
lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness—just the pure air to breathe
and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just
plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool
breeze
when the day is warm.”
—Laura Ingalls Wilder,
Writings to Young Women From Laura Ingalls Wilder: On Wisdom and Virtues
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| Photo by Ethan Robertson on Unsplash |
It’s August. It’s just too hot to do anything except stay
inside and surf the ’net, don’t you think? To get you started, I’ve got some
hot links for you to love today, so grab a cold drink and let’s get to it!
First up, Marc and Angel’s “50 Ways to Nurture Your Happiness.” We’ve heard most of these suggestions before, but how many of us
actually do them consistently?
Check out the YOU-app: “Micro actions” for happier,
healthier living, sent right to your phone or email. Perfect for those of us
who make progress via baby steps.
I don’t believe adventures have to feel scary—and neither
does the author of “Rethinking the Skydiving Mindset.”
Subscribe to the Goodnewspaper. There’s still good news in
the world, and this quarterly print publication aims to find and share it.
There’s also a free e-newsletter you can sign up for here.
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed? So do I. This post
examines the role we play in our own feelings of overwhelm, and how we can
“own” our overwhelm.
Twenty-six strategies for happiness, backed by research, in
a handy infographic. The article itself is long, but packed with information.
This video made me laugh out loud. Kids are kids, whatever
the species:
Have a happy (and cool) Friday!
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| Photo by Joshua Newton on Unsplash |
“Summer, dropping so easily a delicious everything upon your
skin and lips. Like a never-ending kiss—taunting, deep, and luscious. The sun.
The heat. The thousand echoes of a timelessness before time, when every day
seems longer than the next and no day seems likely to ever truly end. Summer.”
—Carew Papritz, The Legacy Letters
Most of us tell ourselves stories. Stories about what kind
of people we are, our capabilities, about what other people are like or what
they think about us, even about how the world works. Some of these stories are
harmless, but many of them keep us stuck in places we don’t want to be, or keep
us from doing things we want to do. Sometimes our stories get in the way of our
happiness.
These stories are often called limiting beliefs
because they limit our lives and our potential.
What does a limiting belief look like?
Limiting beliefs are usually blanket generalizations, and
they often start with the words “I can’t,” “I am,” or “I am not.” Here are some
common ones:
I am not smart.
I am not athletic.
I am not enough.
I am broken and need fixing.
I can’t do that.
I am not worthy of _____.
I can’t afford that.
I am not lucky.
I am not creative/an artist/a writer.
I am too old to _____.
I am too young to ______.
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
Many limiting beliefs have crept into our subconscious minds and set up camp without our even being aware of them. Sometimes we’ve picked them up in childhood from a careless remark we overheard, experiences that we barely remember, or from what society has drummed into our heads. We’ve all received messages about what makes a good woman or a good man, for example. We’ve probably also had more personal stories woven around us by our families of origin—maybe we were labeled the “klutzy one” or the “goofy one,” and that story has influenced and limited how we think about ourselves even now.
Our stories may have a small element of truth, or they may
have been true at one time. Remember, however, that they are almost always
generalizations, and make the assumption that things and people are the way
they are, and there’s no such thing as change and growth.
How do we rid ourselves of limiting beliefs and rewrite our stories?
First we must become conscious of them. When an opportunity
comes into your life, what does your mental chatter sound like? When you really
want to go for it, does a voice in your head tell you, you can’t,
it won’t happen, so why even bother?
Or maybe that voice is critical,
telling you you’ll look ridiculous, or questioning whether or not you deserve
this opportunity. Limiting beliefs come in many different guises.
Once we become aware of our limiting beliefs, we can
challenge them. Are they really true? Every time? Think about times when
they were not true. Push the boundary of that belief. What have you
learned or experienced that you can now use to disprove it? (Byron Katie has
done some really amazing work challenging thought patterns like this. Click
here for an introduction to her teaching.)
Discard the beliefs that are not true, and replace them with
new stories. Start small, or take a giant leap—whatever works for you. “Act as
if” your new belief is true. Taking action will help make your new belief real.
I write this article for myself more than for anyone else. I
wrestle with many limiting beliefs—“I am not brave,” for example. I feel unsure
of myself often, get tongue tied when I should speak up, and cringe while
contemplating any number of activities other people don’t think twice about.
The desire to live a full life and pursue my dreams has helped me to challenge
those limiting beliefs. I am not brave, yet I own and ride a 1,000-pound
horse, something that most people can’t say. I am not brave, and yet I
wake up every day and do things that scare me (because many, many thing scare
me)!
And that’s what it really boils down to. Very often, the
underlying emotion behind a limiting belief is fear. Fear of criticism, of
looking ridiculous, of failing. I’m sorry to say, these fears are likely to
come true. If you’re out there daring to learn something new or live in a way
that is out of the ordinary, you will experience failure, looking awkward, and
probably someone will criticize you.
I have two little words for you: So What?
We have the choice of allowing our stories to mark out the
boundaries of our achievements and our world. We can stay comfortable and
hidden and afraid—or we can rewrite our stories and live.
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| Photo courtesy Ezgi Platin |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: Kay Ryan was our nation’s
Poet Laureate at The Library of Congress for the 2008-2010 terms. Her poetry is
celebrated for its compression; she can get a great deal into a few words.
Here’s an example of a poem swift and accurate as a dart.
Pinhole
We say
pinhole.
A pin hole
of light. We
can’t imagine
how bright
more of it
could be,
the way
this much
defeats night.
It almost
isn’t fair,
whoever
poked this,
with such
a small act
to vanquish
blackness.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2011 by Kay Ryan, whose most recent book of poems is Odd
Blocks, Selected and New Poems, Carcanet Press, 2011. Poem reprinted from
Poetry, October 2011, by permission of Kay Ryan and the publisher. Introduction
copyright 2012 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser,
served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of
Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
I hate summer in Florida. It’s hurricane season, mosquito
season, sweat-through-your-T-shirt season, I-wish-I-lived-in-Maine season. All
the cheerful articles and blog posts about having summer fun leave me grumpy,
since many of their suggestions aren’t practical for our extremely hot and humid climate. My idea of summer fun in Florida is to stay inside as much as possible.
Unfortunately, errands still need to be run, horses still need grooming, and
household maintenance still requires setting foot outdoors. Now more than ever
I need a stock of simple pleasures to look forward to until cooler temperatures
arrive (probably sometime in January, if the past couple years have been any
indication). I want to savor the summer, and I want to share summer
pleasures with you…but I confess my stock of simple pleasure ideas is running
low.
So since I’m such a summer grump, I put out a call to my
friends on Facebook to see what simple pleasures they enjoy during the summertime. Here, in
their own words, are some sweet summer pleasures they savor:
“Sitting in matching tree swings with my husband, talking
and watching the fireflies. Tubing, also with my husband.”—Maria
“I just love Target in August. It reminds me of my young
co-ed days going to college. We had one right next to campus at NAU, and it
would be full of all my classmates, dorm mates, sorority sisters, and cute
boys. Picking out sheets, towels, and even garbage cans made me feel so adult!
Every August at Target still takes me back and this summer I get to do that
with my boy!”—Moki
“Camping in the many places by or around Banff. We use a
tent.”—Anita
“Really cold
watermelon, corn on the cob, Rainier cherries…shared with family and friends;
crepe myrtle trees bloom and when the blooms start to drop, they look like
colored rain or snowflakes on the breeze; that glorious (peculiar) golden green
color we see just before dusk. It’s especially noticeable after a rainstorm. It
almost glows.”—Laure
“Tomato sandwich!”—Debbie
“I love grooming and bathing horses and then hand grazing
them until they dry. Just spending quiet time with my favorite horses without
asking anything from them. Another simple pleasure would have to be picking
fresh veggies at work and being allowed to take them home to enjoy with my
family.”—Chris
“With school out for the summer, I savor sleeping in!”—Kathy
“Sitting on my front porch between 7:00 and 8:00 a.m.
reading…when there is still a bit of coolness, but [it’s] not cold. It is
refreshing, and so pleasant. T-shirt, shorts, maybe a hoodie. Birds singing,
calm, quiet, pleasant.”—Lynn [Lynn lives in Canada—can you tell?]
“Blueberries!”—Kerri
“I love working in my yard. It’s a great way to sweat/get
rid of some toxins and it’s good for my health, plus I get some good ole
Vitamin D. Then I like sitting in the evening looking at my yard listening to
the birds and hopefully catching a glimpse of some birds with something
refreshing to drink”—Robin
“My favorite summer pleasure is taking a trip as far north
as I can…to get away from the Texas heat.”—Becky [Clearly a woman after my own
heart.]
After some additional thought, I came up with a few simple
pleasures I plan to savor between now and the end of summer—pleasures like
floating in our pool (now that our son is grown, we rarely use it), making
homemade ice cream, sharing a margarita with my friend down the street, taking
a few days off for a mini staycation, listening to music by candlelight,
hosting a game night for visiting friends, and putting together the jigsaw
puzzle my friend Mary gave me. Of course, there will still be plenty of reading
and hanging out with Tank while he grazes. And perhaps the best thing of all,
taking the pressure off myself to “enjoy” summer—or, at least, not worry about
enjoying it in ways that other people say I should enjoy it!
What are your favorite summer pleasures to savor? Please
share in the comments section!
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| Tank's favorite summer pleasure |
Today is the 200th anniversary of the death of
Jane Austen, at age 41. Her novels have had a lasting impact on the world of
literature and have inspired countless fans as well as quite a few books about
them and her. Since I wrote this piece, we’ve seen even more Austen-inspired
books, essays, celebrations, and so on, come into being. (See below for a link
to Signature’s “Essential Guide to Jane Austen,” as well as two fun and free printables.)
In remembrance of Miss Austen, here are nine quotes from her books related to happiness:
In remembrance of Miss Austen, here are nine quotes from her books related to happiness:
From Mansfield Park:
“There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.”
“A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.”
“There is nothing like employment, active indispensable employment, for relieving sorrow. Employment, even melancholy, may dispel melancholy.”
From Sense and Sensibility:
“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.”
“What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?” “Grandeur has but little,” said Elinor, “but wealth has much to do with it.”
“Elinor, for shame!” Said Marianne. “Money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it...”
From Northanger Abbey:
“[I]t is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible.”
From Emma:
“Why not seize the pleasure at once?—How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!”
“Perfect happiness, even in memory, is not common.”
From Pride and Prejudice:
“I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness.”
Reading Jane Austen makes me happy—it’s a simple pleasure I haven’t indulged in for quite some time. I might choose Mansfield Park or Northanger Abbey to read next, because I’m not as familiar with them as I am with Pride and Prejudice or Emma (my two favorites).
Do you have a favorite Jane Austen novel?
Signature's free, downloadable “Essential Guide to Jane Austen”
Jane Austen quote printables
Jane Austen-themed printable bookmarks
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