 |
| Photo courtesy Aaron Burden |
“If you want to be
sad, live in the past. If you want to be anxious, live in the future. If you
want to be peaceful, live in the now.”
—Karen Salmansohn, Instant
Happy
 |
| Photo courtesy Suchitra |
For instance, out with:
- Negative self-talk (Tell your inner critic to shut up.)
- Angry thoughts
- Excuses
- Fears
- Resentments
- Grudges
- Judgment
- Criticism
And in with:
- Affirmations
- Forgiveness (As Karen Salmansohn wrote in Instant Happy: Happy = “Repeat after me: I forgive myself for not being perfect. And I recognize none of us are perfect, so I am open to forgiving others.”)
- Gratitude
- Acceptance
- Courage
It’s a lot easier to spring clean a kitchen than a brain, but
the results of our “brain cleaning” are more likely to bring us lasting
happiness. What would you like to sweep out of your life this spring?
 |
| Photo courtesy Thomas B. |
Introduction
by Ted Kooser: This year’s
brutal winter surely calls for a poem such as today’s selection, a peek at the
inner workings of spring. Susan Kelly-DeWitt lives and teaches in Sacramento.
Apple Blossoms
One evening in
winter
when nothing
has been enough,
when the days
are too short,
the nights too
long
and cheerless,
the secret
and docile
buds of the apple
blossoms begin
their quick
ascent to
light. Night
after
interminable night
the sugars
pucker and swell
into green
slips, green
silks. And
just as you find
yourself at
the end
of winter’s
long, cold
rope, the
blossoms open
like pink
thimbles
and that black
dollop
of shine
called
bumblebee
stumbles in.
American Life
in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org),
publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English
at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2001 by Susan
Kelly-DeWitt, whose most recent book of poems is The Fortunate Islands,
Marick Press, 2008. Poem reprinted from To a Small Moth, Poet’s Corner
Press, 2001, by permission of Susan Kelly-DeWitt and the publisher.
Introduction copyright 2017 by The Poetry Foundationi. The introduction’s
author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry
to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.
Horses, like all animals, live in the moment. They’re in tune with their surroundings—aware of the turkey in the next field, the start up of the truck that brings their hay, or if you’ve got a carrot in your pocket. That presence, harmony and connection is something most of us want more of.
For the past six weeks, I’ve been experimenting with what
horsemanship instructor Carolyn Resnick calls the Chair Challenge, “sharing
territory” with my horse, Tank. Mostly it involves simply sitting in a chair in
his paddock. Some days I read, some days I write in my barn journal. Others, I
just sit and listen and look. The theory is that this practice develops a
stronger bond between us, by “achieving a companionship experience and
connection in the moment in harmony and unity.” We so often only spend time
with our horses when we want to do something with them, when we have
expectations. Simply hanging out allows us both to relax and become more in
tune with each other.
When I first started this practice, my mind scrabbled around
like a trapped lizard. I found it almost impossible to sit and do nothing. No
matter how much I profess to want a present life, I more often than not careen
through my day—racing from checking emails, to working out, to writing a blog
post to cleaning the bathroom to running errands.
 |
| Tank napping next to my chair |
At first, Tank was puzzled. Apparently, he’s absorbed my “we
must be doing something all the time” attitude, and my journal entries record
that he nudged me, nibbled on my magazine, journal, and pen. He still tries to
do this sometimes, especially if he’s bored, and I have to shoo him away. At
other times he’s happy to stand in his favorite spot looking out beyond the
fence line, or doze in the corner of his shelter. I love it when he stands near
me, gives a nice long sigh, and we savor the peace of being together with no
agenda. That’s when I realize one of
the most pleasurable of the benefits of this exercise: harmony, living in the moment,
the sheer pleasure of sharing space with this beautiful animal.
While I still have to fight my desire to “accomplish
something” when I go to the barn, I’ve also started to crave the peaceful
togetherness of sharing territory. Of hearing the tap-tapping of a pileated
woodpecker, the haunting cry of a hawk. Of seeing sand, sky, puffy white
clouds, scrubby woods bordering the paddocks. Of feeling Tank’s muzzle nudging
me or resting for a moment on the top of my head. The quiet within the quiet.
No one around, no sound of traffic or people.
Yesterday, I even found myself using this technique while
waiting for a prescription to be filled. I stopped fidgeting, checking my phone
for the time and mentally ticking off the next three items on my to-do list, in
favor of sitting calmly, breathing slowly, and observing what was going on
around me.
So what does this have to do with you, most likely a
non-horse owner? The lesson is: if you want peace, harmony and connection,
stop, look, listen, and be. Slow down especially when you feel called
upon to rush. Quiet your thoughts, let your body relax. Let the moment draw out
as long and smooth as possible.
You don’t need a green plastic chair and an American Quarter
Horse. Wherever you are, slow down. Pay attention. Don’t miss the daily simple
pleasures that are right there for your enjoyment.
 |
| Photo courtesy Jenna Beekhuis |
“Happiness is a sunbeam which may pass through a thousand
bosoms without losing a particle of its original ray; nay, when it strikes on a
kindred heart, like the converged light on a mirror, it reflects itself with
redoubled brightness. It is not perfected till it is shared.”
—Jane Porter
It’s time once again for Link Love, a round up of links I hope you’ll find as entertaining and thought provoking as I did.
Bloggers are an opinionated bunch. We offer stories and
advice, hoping to connect with readers and make their lives better. But as
Courtney Carver writes in “I Don’t Know What’s Best for You”:
“Use the information you find on the internet, in books and courses, on this site, and anywhere else as pieces of the puzzle, but not as the end all be all. It’s not. No one know what’s best for you but you.”
A skill I need to develop—learning how to be comfortable
with other people feeling uncomfortable.
Overwhelm. It happens to the best of us. Here’s one way to
stop it from derailing your day.
I enjoy many of David’s posts on his blog, Raptitude. In
this one, he shared “4 Absurdly Easy Things I Do That Make Life Disproportionately Better.” What four things would make your list? One of mine:
Put the coffee pot on a timer so it’s ready when we wake up!
I read a lot of non-fiction, but I’m embarrassed to say my
memory of what I read is often spotty. I’m thinking of trying Michael Hyatt’s
ideas from “How to Make Your Non-fiction Reading More Productive.”
Just discovered the website Art to Self after hearing a
podcast interview with artist Steph Halligan. What a terrific idea! I’ve been
back several times. One of my favorite “notes”: “It’s Meant to Fall Away.”
This made me laugh:
 |
| Photo courtesy Uwe Baumann |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: The next time you open
your closet, this poem will give you reason to pay a little more attention to
what's hanging inside. Gary Whited is from Massachusetts and his most recent
book is Having Listened, (Homebound Publications, 2013).
My Blue Shirt
hangs in the closet
of this small room, collar open,
sleeves empty, tail wrinkled.
Nothing fills the shirt but air
and my faint scent. It waits,
all seven buttons undone,
button holes slack,
the soft fabric with its square white pattern,
all of it waiting for a body.
It would take any body, though it knows,
in its shirt way of knowing, only mine
has my shape in its wrinkles,
my bend in the elbows.
Outside this room birds hunt for food,
young leaves drink in morning sunlight,
people pass on their way to breakfast.
Yet here, in this closet,
the blue shirt needs nothing,
expects nothing, knows only its shirt knowledge,
that I am now learning—
how to be private and patient,
how to be unbuttoned,
how to carry the scent of what has worn me,
and to know myself by the wrinkles.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2013 by Gary Whited, “My Blue Shirt,” from Having Listened,
(Homebound Publications, 2013). Poem reprinted by permission of Gary Whited and
the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2017 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s
author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry
to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited
manuscripts.
31 Days of Sketching
Don't Break the Chain--or the Jerry Seinfeld Way to Establish a Habit
February 17, 2017 |
| Photo courtesy Doru Lupeanu |
Here’s the story as I’ve heard it: many years ago, Brad
Isaac was hanging around comedy clubs and doing open mic nights, and had the
chance to ask Jerry Seinfeld, who was performing in the same club, for his
advice for a young comic. Seinfeld replied that the way to be a better comic
was to create better jokes. The way to create better jokes was to write every
day. Get yourself a large, year-at-a-glance calendar, Seinfeld advised. Write
some new material every day, and when you do, mark the day on the calendar with
a big red X. “After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the
chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially
when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break
the chain. Don’t break the chain.”
Don’t break the chain.
Recently, I’ve put this idea into practice, with good
results. For years I’ve been saying I want to sketch more, and now I have a
compelling reason to hone my skills. I’m preparing to join Laure Ferlita’s Blue Walk tour in England in August, and I want to be able to sketch what I see.
Back in January of 2015 I challenged myself to sketch for 31 days straight, and
saw a vast improvement, so I decided to try sketching every day again. I
started Sept. 26, 2016, and I’m still going.
Of course, you can apply “don’t break the chain” thinking to
any habit or practice you’re serious about continuing:
- Playing a musical instrument
- Meditation
- Healthy habits like drinking enough water or getting a certain number of hours of sleep a night
- Writing 500 words a day
- [Insert your habit here]
It’s a remarkably effective technique, but it can seem a
little intimidating to commit to doing something every day. Here are a
few things that made the process easier for me:
Make it smallMy goal was so small it felt ridiculous not to meet it: five minutes of sketching every day. Most days, I spend more than five minutes, but having such a small, and very, very achievable goal makes me pick up my pencil and sketchbook. Even when I’m tired, distracted or simply “don’t wanna,” five minutes is still doable.
Every day in my calendar I’ve written the word “sketch,” so every time I check my to-do list I’m reminded of the habit I’m building.
Place whatever you need for your habit in a prominent place. I store my sketching things next to my favorite chair in our family room, and I carry a small sketch kit in my purse.
Use a visual tracking system so you can see the chain. Mark
the calendar day with a big red X, as Seinfeld suggested, or print out this
free “Don’t’ Break the Chain” calendar. There are also “Don’t Break the Chain” apps for both Apple and Android.
Keep it interesting
When I tire of sketching items in my family room, I take my
sketchbook to the backyard, the barn, or a coffee shop. I’ve sketched from
photos and from life. I’ve tried pencil, pen, and watercolor. I’ve worked on
larger sketches for more than one day.
Creating helpful and positive habits can make us happier. I
know I’m happier when I actually do the things I say I want to
do, and the technique of “Don’t Break the Chain” has helped me establish a
regular habit of sketching. Not only do my sketches look better, I’m also less
afraid to sketch in the first place, since now it’s just something I do.
How about you? What habit could you develop by using the “Don’t Break the Chain” technique?
 |
| One of my favorite sketches |
 |
| Photo courtesy Joshua Hibbert |
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
—Martin Luther King Jr.
 |
| Photo courtesy Michael and Christa Richert |
A couple of Sundays ago, I spent the entire day in my
pajamas. It was cold and rainy outside, my husband and son were sick, and it
just seemed so much more pleasant to drink tea and read a book than go out. I
even baked coconut chocolate chip zucchini bread. Without thinking about it at
the time, I was practicing my version of hygge.
Hygge—pronounced approximately “Hoo-gah”—is a Danish concept
that has recently been attracting plenty of attention and popularity. While
hygge is most often translated as “coziness,” Danish researcher and hygge
expert Jeppe Trolle Linnet suggests it would be translated more accurately as
“homeyness,” with home being a place to shut out the negativity of the outside
world. You can hygge at home, or in a cozy café, or even picnicking
in the park—it’s the atmosphere that counts the most. Hygge can be used as a
noun, a verb or an adjective!
Pia Edberg, writing in The Cozy Life, describes it this way: “the art of creating warmth, comfort, and wellbeing through connection, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with the things you love.” And while many factors go into making the Danes some of the happiest people in the world, hygge surely must be one reason.
Pia Edberg, writing in The Cozy Life, describes it this way: “the art of creating warmth, comfort, and wellbeing through connection, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with the things you love.” And while many factors go into making the Danes some of the happiest people in the world, hygge surely must be one reason.
In the fullest sense of the word, true hygge is often
planned carefully. It usually involves other people you know well or feel
comfortable with, and often some element of the homemade, such a bread or cake.
Hygge equals people bonding together and helping each other, especially during
the cold, dark winter months. To experience hygge, stay off electronic devices
and interact with others. Enjoy simple, old-fashioned pleasures like telling
stories or reading aloud. Some equate hygge with mindful living and simple
pleasures—things like:
- Candlelight dinners with family or friends
- Listening to music by candlelight or firelight (or both)
- Watching the sunset, with or without a glass of wine
- Soft textures—fleecy throws or pillows, flannel sheets
- Furry pets
- Warm, homey scents, such as cinnamon, vanilla, or pine, from candles or essential oils
- A bonfire with roasting marshmallows
- Playing cards and games
- Doing a jigsaw puzzle
- Making gifts or cards
- Hand writing a letter
 |
| Prudy is a hygge expert |
Hygge is all about simple pleasures, about helping people
make it through a cold, dark, and difficult time, such as a Scandinavian
winter. I can’t think of a more Catching Happiness-like concept!
What simple pleasures contribute to a feeling of hygge for you?
If you want to explore hygge in more detail, check out the
following books:
The Cozy Life, Pia Edberg
The Little Book of Hygge, Meik Wiking
The Book of Hygge: The Danish Art of Contentment,Comfort, and Connection, Louisa Thomsen Brits
How to Hygge: The Nordic Secrets to a Happy Life,
Signa Johansen
 |
| Photo courtesy markrussellmc |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: We constantly compare one
thing with another, or attempt to, saying, “Well, you know, love is
like...it’s like...well, YOU know what it's like.” Here Bob King, who
lives in Colorado, takes an original approach and compares love to the
formation of rocks.
Geology
I know the origin of rocks, settling
out of water, hatching crystals
from fire, put under pressure
in various designs I gathered
pretty, picnic after picnic.
And I know about love, a little,
igneous lust, the slow affections
of the sedimentary, the pressure
on earth out of sight to rise up
into material, something solid
you can hold, a whole mountain,
for example, or a loose collection
of pebbles you forgot you were keeping.
Reprinted from the Marlboro Review, Issue 16, 2005, by
permission of the author. Copyright © 2005 by Robert King, whose prose book, Stepping Twice Into the River: Following Dakota Waters, appeared in
2005 from The University Press of Colorado. This weekly column is supported by
The Poetry Foundation, The Library of Congress, and the Department of English
at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. The column does not accept unsolicited
manuscripts.
“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor
that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.”
—William Butler Yeats
For the past week, I’ve found myself waking every morning
from anxious dreams. I’m OK during the day when I can use my conscious mind to
relax, but by night, my subconscious takes over…and evidently it’s worried. I
suspect this is a reaction to the level of anxiety in my nation and the world
right now. While I can’t seem to help being anxious and worried about the
future, I realize that those feelings are completely useless and are robbing me
of joy. Maybe you feel the same? So I’ve been actively trying to reduce my
anxiety levels instead of pretending things are fine or simply distracting
myself. Here are four things I’m doing to combat anxious feelings:
- Accept that yes, I live in troubled times. There is suffering, hate, misogyny, fear. This, sadly, is nothing new. We will always have to fight the darkness if we don’t want it to overcome the light.
- Refuse to add to the darkness by expressing hate for people or institutions I don’t like or disagree with. (Yes, I’m allowed to dislike and disagree—but I don’t have to express my opinions and feelings in a bombastic, dogmatic way.) Don’t add to my fear by reading and watching lots of news. Avoid lengthy discussions about problems the world faces. When I do choose to read the news, I choose the most unbiased sources I can find, look for context, and don’t accept stories without verifying. I don’t bother with sources that specialize in half-truths or click bait, even if they’re primarily intended as entertainment.
- Support my body, mind, and spirit with uplifting, anxiety-reducing simple pleasures. Use my essential oils to calm anxiety and support my immune system. Be present and mindful. Enjoy the cooler weather we’re having by walking more, and opening the windows for some fresh air (I rarely do that here because of the humidity). Spend extra time with Tank, my four-legged therapist. Listen to happy music while working. Read a good book. (Check out Belle’s list of spirit lifting books here and mine here.)
- Look for ways to spread kindness and happiness. Encourage others, donate money, be a good citizen. Be kind, help out, stay positive. Don’t give up on looking and hoping for the best.
There’s nothing ground-breaking here, but that doesn’t mean
these practices are either easy or worthless. They are within my power to do,
as so many other things are not.
As Corrie ten Boom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of
its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Now if only I could convince my
subconscious of that.
How do you soothe yourself when you feel anxious?
 |
| Photo courtesy Andreas Nusko |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: My maternal grandparents
got their drinking water from a well in the yard, and my disabled uncle carried
it sloshing to the house, one bucket of hard red water early every morning. I
couldn’t resist sharing this lovely little poem by Minnesota poet, Sharon
Chmielarz.
New Water
All those years—almost a hundred—
the farm had hard water.
Hard orange. Buckets lined in orange.
Sink and tub and toilet, too,
once they got running water.
And now, in less than a lifetime,
just by changing the well’s location,
in the same yard, mind you,
the water’s soft, clear, delicious to drink.
All those years to shake your head over.
Look how sweet life has become;
you can see it in the couple who live here,
their calmness as they sit at their table,
the beauty as they offer you new water to drink.
Reprinted by permission of Sharon Chmielarz, whose most recent collection of poems is “The Rhubarb King,” Loonfeather Press, 2006. Copyright © 2006 by Sharon Chmielarz. This weekly column is supported by The Poetry Foundation, The Library of Congress, and the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
Books
How to Have More Everyday Adventures, or What I Learned From Linda Formichelli’s How to Do It All
January 20, 2017
If you want to enrich your life with activities
that inspire you, and you’d like a jumpstart into action, then Linda
Formichelli’s newest book How to Do It All: The Revolutionary Plan to Createa Full, Meaningful Life—While Only Occasionally Wanting to Poke Your Eyes Out With a Sharpie is a good place to start.
You don’t have to use all—or any—of them; you can choose
your own Desires. Formichelli offers examples of three levels of goals for each
Desire, from very simple to more involved. For example, if your Desire was to
travel more, a simple goal could be taking a day trip; a more complicated one
would be taking an overseas trip.
What are some everyday adventures you’d like to experience in 2017?
How to D-I-A flies in the face of the ubiquitous
advice to slow down and simplify your life. Formichelli writes, “Would you
rather look back on a year that was full of fun, adventure—and yes, some
stress—or remember a year where you floated through your days stress-free, but
that’s pretty much all you did?” She does not believe stress is always bad for
you, or that everything we do we (should) do for someone else (and neither do I).
One of the more helpful tools for me was the exercise in
determining your top three values—the why behind your Desires. Once
you’re clear on what you value, it’s much easier to see what goals will be
easier to follow through with. Another plus is a packet of worksheets at the
end of the book, also available to download.
I appreciated the advice to rethink my schedule and habits
to give my D-I-A Desires prime time, not just the dregs of time left over after
I do everything else. The book was worth reading for the energy boost and
motivation alone. My only caution would be to remember you determine
what feels full and what feels too busy for you. Formichelli has a remarkable
amount of energy if she’s anything like she comes across in print, and I would
be exhausted and unhappy if I tried to do as much as she does.
I found How to Do It All readable, practical, and
entertaining, and I recommend it for anyone looking to enrich her life with
meaningful activities.
What are some everyday adventures you’d like to experience in 2017?
 |
| Photo courtesy Karl Fredrickson |
“Happiness is within
the reach of everyone, rich or poor. Yet comparatively few people are happy. I
believe the reason for this is that the majority don't recognize happiness even
when it is
within their grasp.”
—Robert
Baden-Powell
I’ve been thinking about a forensic investigation technique lately—and not just because I like reading mysteries. No, it’s because I recently came across Dr. Edmond Locard’s principle of exchange, which states, “Every contact leaves a trace.” This principle is the basis of forensic science—trace evidence, such as fingerprints, DNA, footprints, or fibers, can now be used to link people or objects to crime scenes.
Every contact does leave a trace, and not just
forensically speaking. The people around us, and what we allow into our
surroundings and our minds, leave traces on us and in us. We all have people in
our lives who inspire, energize, and encourage us, and thank goodness for them.
We probably also know people who drain us of energy or leave us anxious and
irritated after every encounter. To protect our happiness and overall mental
state, we can seek out the people and things which lift us up, while minimizing
contact with the people and things which leave a negative trace.
I try to walk the line between hiding from the legitimate
problems in the world and allowing them too much space in my head. I know what
I choose to read and to watch leaves a trace, so I don’t choose to read or
watch certain things, no matter how worthy they might be. I surround myself as
much as is in my power with things I want to leave a trace on my world.
My office especially is a place that holds symbols and talismans of
inspiration, as well as reminders of love others have shown me, and things I
aspire to. I’m also fortunate enough to
have a great deal of control over the people I interact with, and therefore
most of them leave positive traces.
What about the traces we ourselves are leaving? It bears
remembering that we have the power to influence others with our words and
actions. After all, happiness is contagious.
With every interaction, we touch others and they touch us. What
kind of trace will you leave?
Introduction by Ted Kooser: A while back we published a column in which I talked about
my delight in the many names of kinds of apples, and mentioned Louise Bogan's
marvelous mid-century poem “The Crossed Apple.” Here's yet another
fine apple-name poem for my collection, by Susan Rothbard, who lives in New
Jersey.
That New
At the market today, I look for Piñata
apples, their soft-blush-yellow. My husband
brought them home last week, made me guess at
the name of this new strain, held one in his hand
like a gift and laughed as I tried all
the names I knew: Gala, Fuji, Honey
Crisp—watched his face for clues—what to call
something new? It’s winter, only tawny
hues and frozen ground, but that apple bride
was sweet, and I want to bring it back to him,
that new. When he cut it, the star inside
held seeds of other stars, the way within
a life are all the lives you might live,
each unnamed, until you name it.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2012 by Susan Rothbard, “That New,” from the Cortland Review,
(No. 58, 2012). Poem reprinted by permission of Susan Rothbard and the
publisher. Introduction copyright ©2017 by The Poetry Foundation. The
introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate
Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not
accept unsolicited manuscripts.
During the week between Christmas and Jan. 1, I begin my official year-end wrap up and planning for the next year. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but I do set some big, overarching goals at this time. Or try to. I have a problem with big, overarching goals. Oh, I can set them all right, but I struggle with the nitty-gritty, down-and-dirty practicality of how to get from here to there. I’m going to try something new this year, which I’ll get to later, but first, I’m going to share with you some tools I use for planning my goals for a new year.
Year-End Review
Before I get into any goal setting, I look back over the
past year to see what I’ve accomplished and where I’ve fallen short. This year,
I used Marie Forleo’s three-question review, but I also wrote down a list of
some of the more mundane things I did that nevertheless were accomplishments,
such as reading 109 books, posting to Catching Happiness 106 times, and
starting a regular sketching practice (three months and counting). While I fell
short on working on my book idea, riding Tank bridleless, purging my house of
unneeded items, and various and sundry other goals, 2016 was a better-than-average
year for me. I took a moment to savor those accomplishments before moving on
to…
Goal Brainstorming
Next, I start writing out all the things that are floating around in my head that I would like to see accomplished in the coming year. This is where I allow myself to dream big, and I include as many of the nagging tasks I’d like to see finished as I can think of. This year, I’ve made a list called “70 in ’17”—70 things I want to happen in 2017. Some of these are writing goals (complete a draft of that book, write some haiku), some are household goals (buy new light fixture for kitchen nook, stain the chairs on the front porch), and some are just for fun (do puzzle with M, buy some new music, go to Fannin Hill with Tank). My idea is to work from this list as I sit down to plan each month.
12-Week Planning
This is the new thing I mentioned above. I recently read The12-Week Year, and I’m experimenting with 12-Week planning. I’m hoping this will solve my problem with carrying out my bigger goals by helping me break them down into much smaller, more do-able increments. So far, I’m still struggling a bit with that—my perfectionism (fear in disguise?) is hampering my ability to choose and break down appropriate goals, but I’m making progress.
Word of the Year
As I’ve done in past years, I choose a word of the year to guide me. Previous years’ words have included open, light, passion, and quality. This year’s word is “deeper.” I want it to encourage me to stop skimming the surface and go deeper, to find the riches that are buried. Be less superficial, more real. Do fewer things, but do them better.
Vision Board
For me, this is just pure fun. I like playing with pretty pictures! I create two—a larger one for my office, and a smaller one to go in my daily planner. I choose images and words that make me happy and draw me to them, that symbolize for me something I want more of in my life.
How do you plan for a new year? Do you have any goals or
dreams for 2017 you’d like to share?
“A new year is a gift, a small piece of infinity, to do with
as we will. Things happen. We grow (we hope), and we learn willy nilly. Life
moves around us, life moves through us to others, and the year gradually
accepts its pattern. We give, we take, we resist, we flow. Our reachings,
acceptances, rejections, our hesitancies, courage, fears, and our loves, all
these form the shape of the year for each of us, as individuals, as part of a
family, as a member of a community.”
—Jean Hersey, The Shape of a Year
I hope you had a most happy and refreshing holiday season.
Even though it was 85 degrees on Christmas Day, we enjoyed hosting family for a
meal, and apparently we were very good this year, because we all received
delightful gifts.
 |
| I regret nothing |
I spent last week sleeping in, puttering around, dreaming
and making plans for 2017, reading, and (let’s be honest) keeping Prudy out of
the Christmas tree until I could take it down yesterday. This year’s broken ornament
count: two. Not bad.
For me personally, 2016 was an excellent year, and I plan to
build on that success in 2017. I have fun plans for Catching Happiness, too—so
stick around!
Happy New Year—may it bring you much joy, growth, and
meaning!
I typically take a break from blogging during the week
between Christmas and New Year’s, and I’m doing just that next week. For me,
this time of year is a time of reflection and planning. I’ll be reviewing 2016,
working on setting goals, and choosing a word of the year next week, as well as
spending a little extra time reading for pleasure, and resting up after hosting
the family for Christmas. I didn’t want you to have Catching Happiness
withdrawals (haha) so I prepared this Link Love for you to enjoy while I’m
gone.
I loved Marie Forleo’s three-question end-of-the-year review
process. Simple, yet powerful.
For a more in-depth review of 2016, try Sandra Pawula’s 18 questions. There’s a free downloadable workbook, as well.
I find choosing a word of the year a helpful practice
(though I didn’t write about it on the blog, 2016’s word was “Quality.”) Here’s
an article by Liz Smith about choosing a guiding word for 2017. As she writes,
“Once you have your word, let it light the unknown path for you next year.”
I rarely listen to podcasts, but it’s something I would like
to do more of in the coming year. I just discovered the Beaks and Geeks podcast,
thanks to an email from Penguin Random House. Here’s a link to a round-up of
“10 Best of Books Author Podcasts.” I’ll probably listen to some of these next week as well.
I would love to try this monthly art and inspiration
subscription from Holstee. I’m adding it to my list of treats/rewards. (No affiliation.)
If you’re looking for a way to improve your habits, you can
try this habit-tracking calendar. (No affiliation.)
And on a less introspective note, I’ve spent far too much
time watching Simon’s Cat videos on YouTube. Why don’t you join me? Click below
for the Christmas Collection:
“Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a
state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at
peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the
world can give—pleasure, possessions, power—but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.”
—Dada Vaswani
I indulge in the comforts of life—comfort food, comfort
reads, comfortable routines—at least as much as the next person. But I must
admit that dis-comfort has also played an important and positive role in
my life. As much as I hate to admit it, discomfort does more to help me towards
my best life than comfort does.
Why is discomfort important? Discomfort prompts us to
change. It’s a sign that something is wrong or needs attention. If things are
great as they are, why would you want or need to change? It’s that restless,
edgy, something’s-not-quite-right feeling that spurs us on to better things.
For example, when I become uncomfortable in my body, I
increase my exercise and monitor my eating if it’s my weight that’s bothering
me. If I’m exhausted, I get more sleep, and if I’m hurting, I make appointments
with professionals who can help me feel better. When the mess in my office
becomes uncomfortable, it’s time to go through the paper piles (see photo!).
Most recently I’ve become uncomfortable with the amount of stuff in my house.
I’m not a minimalist (or a hoarder), but my belongings are weighing on me
rather than bringing me joy and comfort. I’ve tipped over the edge of enough
into too much. Discomfort will help me pare away the “too much” and reach the
“just right.”
Sometimes I’ll notice that nagging feeling of discomfort
around my behavior. I’ll say or do something and wonder later what I was
thinking. Or I’ll hear myself talking griping about a situation to a friend or
my husband, and realize there’s something about it that’s getting under my
skin. Often, this means it’s time to examine my motives, my needs, and my true
desires. Do my actions match up with my stated goals? If not, time to change.
I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being in our
comfort zones…sometimes. If we were constantly uncomfortable, it would
make for an unpleasant, unhappy life. Our comfort zones can be places to relax
and recharge, places to regroup and ready ourselves for a return to the
discomfort zone—because that’s where real growth takes place.
Is anything causing you discomfort right now? Does something
need to change?
 |
| Photo courtesy Filip Kruchlik |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: We are never without our insect companions, even in winter, and here’s one who has the run of the house. Roger Pfingston lives in Indiana.
December
Lodged tight for days
in a corner of the wall,
ladybug can’t resist the tree
crawling now over cold
light, ceramic fruits,
tinsel lamb and sleigh.
Flies out of the tree
to try rum cake on a
plate of caroling cherubs.
Ends up on her back,
wings flared, silly girl
spinning over the kitchen floor.
Later, between the blinds,
tiny bump of silhouette:
a stillness against the falling snow.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2013 by Roger Pfingston and reprinted from Poetry East, Nos. 80
& 81, Fall 2013. Roger Pfingston’s most recent book of poems is A Day
Marked for Telling, Finishing Line Pr., 2011. Poem reprinted by permission
of Roger Pfingston and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2014 by The
Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United
States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from
2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
Despite my stated goal of reducing the to-be-read (TBR)
stack of books I own, the theme of 2016 could easily be summed up in the title
of this post. Never mind that my closet shelves already groaned beneath the
weight of books I just HAD to have, never mind that even a rapid reader would
literally have reading material for years, I have gone and purchased (or
received from Paperback Swap) more than 50 books this year.
While I’ve been diligent about reading from my stack,
there’s simply no way to get ahead—that is, reduce the TBR stack to a more
manageable level—if I keep buying books at such a pace.
But really, who can resist David Sedaris’ Let’s Explore
Diabetes With Owls for 50 cents? The
Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady for $1? Or even At Home With Beatrix
Potter for $8.50? Not I.
It’s not just the books themselves that I love—I love the
hunt. I carry lists of books I’m looking for in my purse. I search out used
bookstores when I’m on vacation, and I happily troll the Internet for books to add to my
collection.
There is a way to fix this, I know. Simply stop going into
the Friends of the Library bookstore at my local library. Stop frequenting used
bookstores. Stop reading book blogs because they introduce me to books I want
to read and if I can’t find them at the library I end up adding them to my wish
list (and we all know what I wind up doing then—say it with me—recklessly
buying books). Stop reading the book reviews in my Sunday paper (because: see
above).
But who am I kidding? I’m not going to do, or stop doing,
any of those things. Searching for books is a huge source of simple pleasure
and happiness. This is a relatively harmless addiction, since most of my book
purchases are $10 or less. I could collect Faberge eggs, or antique cars, or
even first editions, all of which cost a lot more than my second-hand copy of
P.G. Wodehouse’s A Damsel in Distress. And my TBR stack is not—yet—a
fire hazard.
I have to conclude that unless my very nature changes, I’ll
continue recklessly buying books.
I can live with that.
How about you? Anything you’ve spent 2016 “recklessly
buying”?
 |
| Photo courtesy Joe Beck |
“It takes great wit and interest and energy to be happy. The
pursuit of happiness is a great activity. One must be open and alive. It is the
greatest feat man has to accomplish.”
—Robert Herrick
I’m thrilled to share with you my latest published article,
“Wanted: One Dream Horse.” Written for the American Quarter Horse Association’s
member publication America’s Horse, it’s the story of how I came to buy
Tank. You can read it in full here.
Introduction by Ted Kooser: We've been selecting
poems for this column for more than ten years and I can't remember ever
publishing a poem about a cat. But here at last is a cat, a lovely old cat. Ron
Koertge lives in California, and his most recent book of poems is Vampire
Planet: New & Selected Poems, from Red Hen Press.
No one would take her when Ruth passed.
As the survivors assessed some antiques,
I kept hearing, “She's old. Somebody
should put her down.”
I picked her up instead. Every night I tell her
about the fish who died for her, the ones
in the cheerful aluminum cans.
She lies on my chest to sleep, rising
and falling, rising and falling like a rowboat
fastened to a battered dock by a string.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2016 by Ron Koertge, “Lily,” from Vampire Planet: New &
Selected Poems, (Red Hen Press, 2016). Poem reprinted by permission of Ron
Koertge and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2017 by The Poetry Foundation.
The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate
Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not
accept unsolicited manuscripts.
30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge: 2016 Edition
28 Days and Counting--Gratitude Challenge Review
November 28, 2016
For the past 28 days I’ve been participating in the 2016
30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge, sponsored by Dani from Positively Present and
Caroline from Made Vibrant. Each day, I’ve used a prompt to write about something
for which I’m grateful, added a photo, and posted the results on Instagram and
Facebook. Some days I’ve gone deeper than others, some days practically wrote
themselves, and other days I’ve had to mull over the prompt all day before I
could come up with something to write about.
I really am grateful for all that I have, and all
that I’ve experienced and learned, even the hard things. My life isn’t
“perfect,” but it’s perfect for me. Twenty-eight (and counting) days of
gratitude have reminded me of just how good I have it. As promised, here are a
few of my favorite posts along with their photos (prompts are in bold):
Day 2/Love:
“Love them with your heart, not your ego.” I can’t remember
where I read this, but it has been a life-changing lesson for me when people I
SAY I love don’t behave the way I want them to! It’s helped me to let go of my
expectations for others and simply love them. It’s brought me peace instead of
frustration and pain. It’s even helped me love myself when I’m not (surprise!)
perfect. This photo is of my cat—who I love with all my heart, even though she sometimes (ahem) behaves in ways I don’t want her to!
Day 9/Wonder:
It took half a lifetime of dreaming, but 12 years ago this
guy came into my life. I’m still filled with wonder when I’m with him, even
today, when I finished up his fall clip (in Florida, he won’t need his winter
coat until about February) and came home covered in sweat and horse hair. So
grateful for him.
Day 10/Art:
Julia Cameron wrote, “My feeling is that if you are making
art, you are already an artist. Over time you may become a better one, more
skilled in your craft, but what do real artists do? They make art. If you’re
making art, even beginning art, you’re a real artist—at least today.” By this
definition, I’m an artist, because I make art. It’s not art to sell, or even
always to share, but I’ve begun sketching, either in pencil or using
watercolor, every day for at least five minutes. I’m grateful for this simple
way to bring art into my life, as well as the quiet moments spent this way, and
the memories brought to mind by looking through my sketchbook pages.
Day 11/Memory:
This photo is of my mom’s house, which used to be my
grandparents’ house, in Northern California. It holds many of my happiest
childhood memories, including playing card games, and indulging in Grandma’s
homemade bread and boysenberry cobbler. Now that my mom lives there, we’re
making new memories. I’m grateful for the love, peace, joy, and continuity this
house stands for.
Day 15/Gift:
One of the best gifts I was ever given came from my husband.
It was near my birthday, and our son was just about to enter elementary school.
My husband bought me a cake with our son’s photo on it and the words “Thank you
Mommy. You were there when I needed you” written in icing, as well as a
beautiful opal necklace. It wasn’t so much the gifts themselves as the
sentiment—your contributions to family life are important, and what you do
matters—that meant so much to me. When our son was born, I’d left work in our
business and become a stay-at-home mom. I wanted this very much, but had found
the experience much more difficult that I expected. I was (and am) grateful for
the recognition of my work and sacrifices, and felt loved, appreciated, and
respected. Photo is of me and Nick at the zoo.
Day 23/Progress:
My motto is “progress, not perfection.” My spirit animal is
the tortoise. Ninety percent of the progress I’ve made in writing, riding,
sketching, and so on, has come from baby steps. I’m proud and grateful that I’ve continued making progress on goals that are important to me, even though that progress has been slow. I haven’t given up. As Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
What are you grateful for today?
 |
| Photo courtesy Lutece |
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
—William Arthur Ward
It is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. tomorrow. All over the
country, and here in the Catching Happiness household, we’ll be cooking,
eating, bickering talking with our families, playing games, watching football,
and so on. I’m looking forward to taking time out for thanksgiving. All is
currently well in my world, and I’m grateful.
Wishing you and yours a warm and loving Thanksgiving! (If Thanksgiving is not a tradition where you live, then have a very happy Thursday!)
.jpg)
