Change

Making Change

October 31, 2011

Change.

Change is a small word packed with heavy meaning.

I hate change.

I think most people do. Which is funny, because life is all about change—our bodies constantly change on a cellular level—so we should be used to it by now. And, really, what we mean is we mostly don’t like change when something good and comfortable is involved. We are less likely to complain when something unpleasant ends or changes for the better, though I know some people hate change so much they mourn even that.

I just experienced a big change that on the surface appears negative: my two close barn buddies moved their horses to a different barn. This is a positive change for them (except, I flatter myself, that they will miss me), but not one I am willing or able to make at this time. Since they broke the news, I’ve alternately walked around with a knot in my stomach, cried, felt lonely and bereft, and tried very, very hard to find a bright side. I’ve returned to sayings and mantras that have helped me through stressful times before: “Let it happen. Let it go,” “Don’t cry because it ended. Smile because it happened” and so forth. I teeter from sorrow to hope that this change will bring me something good. Truthfully, I really need to spend less time at the barn. I have some major writing goals that I’ve been neglecting for far too long. Having dear friends at the barn causes me to spend more time than “necessary” to care for my horse (though I wouldn’t trade one single second of that “unnecessary” time) and I’ve worked my barn schedule so that I could meet up with them there, when perhaps a different schedule would enable me to get more work done, at least hypothetically.

This is an ending to one phase of my riding life, and the beginning of a new one. This change, though sad and unwanted on the surface, may turn out to benefit other areas of my life. This may be the boot in the breeches I need to make some necessary…changes.

Sigh.

How has change affected you and how have you handled it, whether it was wanted or unwanted?

 

Good-bye, Ladies.

Everyday adventures

Who Needs a Gym?

October 28, 2011

This morning, I read this article about getting fit with your horse. The author detailed how many calories can be burned doing many common horsey activities, and it got me to thinking about some of the many other ways having a horse can improve your fitness level. For example, you can get your heart rate up (cardiovascular exercise) by chasing him around his paddock while trying to catch him (Tank doesn’t help me out here—he usually meets me at the gate); getting excited (or scared) by trying something new on horseback; or riding through a spook. If that doesn’t get your heart rate up, I don’t know what will!

You can also develop a great strength training program with horses. Aside from the obvious hauling of hay or bags of feed, or shoveling manure, there’s always carrying your saddle (especially if it’s a western saddle—those things are heavy!), or attempting to hold up your horse as he leans on you while you clean his feet. Posting a trot and riding without stirrups are excellent exercises for the thigh muscles as well.

Don’t forget the fitness benefits of relaxation. Being around a horse, at least for me, provides a way to lower my blood pressure. Just looking at horses, stroking their soft coats and smelling that warm barn smell makes me feel calmer.

By all rights, I should be a lot thinner than I am after burning all those calories at the barn. (Maybe it has something to do with the chocolate one of my barn buddies gave me…hmm…)

Have you found any unusual ways to get fit?

Pet, friend, therapist, and now personal trainer?

Poetry

Everybody

October 26, 2011



Lots of contemporary poems are anecdotal, a brief narration of some event, and what can make them rise above anecdote is when they manage to convey significance, often as the poem closes. Here is an example of one like that, by Marie Sheppard Williams, who lives in Minneapolis. [Introduction by Ted Kooser.]

Everybody

I stood at a bus corner
one afternoon, waiting
for the #2. An old
guy stood waiting too.
I stared at him. He
caught my stare, grinned,
gap-toothed. Will you
sign my coat? he said.
Held out a pen. He wore
a dirty canvas coat that
had signatures all over
it, hundreds, maybe
thousands.
            I’m trying
to get everybody, he
said.
            I signed. On a
little space on a pocket.
Sometimes I remember:
I am one of everybody.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2006 by Marie Sheppard Williams. Reprinted from “The California Review,” Volume 32, no. 4, by permission of Marie Sheppard Williams and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2009 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Everyday adventures

Wonderful Weekend

October 24, 2011

It all started Friday. I went for a ride on Tank, because we finally got a REAL cold front that dropped our temperatures into the—oh joy!—70s. (I’d skipped my normal Wednesday ride because the heat and humidity were so bad I was extremely cranky, and cranky rider often = cranky horse…something I don’t think any of us wants to see.) Tank and I had a lovely ride, and practiced longer stretches of trotting to build muscle (for both of us) without winding up in a puddle of sweat.

When I got home, I opened all the windows in the house and sat outside on the lanai to read for a bit before dinner.

Saturday, I started the day with three of the loveliest words in the English language: library book sale. So far as I know, this was the first one my local branch has hosted, and though I tried not to get my hopes too high, I was eager to see what they’d have. Danielle at A Work in Progress often has wonderful luck at her library book sales, and I hoped maybe it would rub off on me. The sale was fairly small, and I came home with only three books: Stephen King’s Duma Key (to replace our missing copy—a truly amazing, though creepy, story); Perfectly Imperfect, by Lee Woodruff, a collection of essays about being a wife, mother, daughter and friend; and Sarah’s Key (Tatiana de Rosnay), a book I've had on my TBR list for a while. The lady who checked me out exclaimed, “Oh, this is such a good book,” when she saw it, so I feel that’s a good omen.

Later that day, my husband and I joined another couple for a trip to a little town nearby to browse antiques stores. No one found any treasures to take home, but we enjoyed the beautiful day, and the poking around through others’ interesting and unusual possessions.

We also stopped here:


Friends of ours own this candy store, so we bought an assortment of chocolate to (ahem) support their fledgling business.


And Sunday? Well, Sunday was the best of all. My son and husband went mountain biking, leaving me home alone for most of the day. I filled the hours, which went by like minutes, with reading (the Sunday paper and The Winter Sea), puttering (cleaned off my kitchen desk and the drawers and cabinet surrounding it while watching Eat Pray Love on dvd) and simply chilling out and enjoying the solitude. I also watched one of Laure Ferlita’s class videos, and fooled around trying to figure out what to sketch for the assignment.

My weekend was the perfect blend of activity and relaxation, solitude and togetherness. I especially loved doing something fun with my husband, instead of doing errands or household projects. I hope future weekends will be just as wonderful.

How was your weekend?

All this fun is just exhausting...

Internet

Surf's Up!

October 21, 2011


I love the internet. Where else can you find recipes, photos, quotations, trivia, inspiration, news, funny animal videos and directions to the furniture store that sells the desk you want to buy for your office (thank you, Google maps)? I keep a list of Web sites to visit periodically, and I’ve run across some really fun and wonderful stuff. So for today’s post, I’m going to share with you a few of my discoveries, and hope you enjoy them, too.

Gretchen Rubin’s blog, The Happiness Project, is always worth a read. This post is a recent favorite.

I can’t remember how I found this particular post, but it’s stuck with me. Austin’s site it worth poking around on (in?).

I don’t exactly understand how to play on Pinterest yet, but a quick scroll down the home page always elicits a number of “awwwws” and out-loud laughs.

If you love to travel, visit Journeywoman.com. Their newsletters are packed with practical travel tips for women. A visit here always inspires wanderlust in me.

Story Circle Network is an organization of women dedicated to the passion and craft of life-writing. The Web site contains instruction, inspiration and many lovely examples of women’s stories.

Where do you like to visit when you’re Web surfing?

Inner artist

Hungry?

October 19, 2011


“If your artist within is starving, then your spirit is starving. You cannot cut off a true part of yourself—and everyone has an artist in his or her heart—without doing damage to the rest of who you are. Spend a few moments remembering how you used to create, and commit yourself to carving out the time in your busy adult life for continued creation.”
—Gay Hendricks, A Year of Living Consciously

What will you do to feed your inner artist?

I take classes with Laure Ferlita...

Forgetting

The Power of Forgetting

October 17, 2011

“Happiness? That’s nothing more than health and a poor memory.”
—Albert Schweitzer

A poor memory? I would have thought the opposite: a good memory to keep in mind the positive things that happen. Isn’t that what gratitude lists and such are all about? But after a little thought, I realize there are plenty of things we’d be wise to forget, such as:

Mistakes we’ve made. I know I need to work on this, because when I make a mistake, I have a tendency to replay it in my mind over and over, often blowing it out of proportion. Everyone makes mistakes. I make mistakes, even though I really don’t want to admit that I do. If necessary, apologize, and/or make things right, then move on. Cling to the philosophy, as the heroine in Anne of Green Gables did, that “tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.”

Wrongs done to us. What good does it really do to dwell on them? Life isn’t fair. Some people are jerks. Other people make mistakes (see above) and hurt us, whether accidentally or on purpose. Let it go.

Past situations we wish were different. The ridiculous fight you had with your spouse. The time you didn’t make the varsity [insert sport here] team. The investment you made/didn’t make at the wrong/right time. The past is done…it’s passed. Time to move on.

As Barbara Ann Kipfer wrote in Field Guide to Happiness for Women (where I found the Albert Schweitzer quote), “The concept of forgetting the things that should be forgotten adds happiness to your life. But the flip side is knowing what not to forget.” Remember the good things: the love of your family and friends, the small details of today that give you joy, what you truly are grateful for. And, according to Kipfer, “Don’t forget that you are in charge of creating your own happiness.”

What do you want to forget? What do you want to remember?