Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I count myself lucky to have friends I’ve collected through high school, college, mothers’ groups, horseback riding, art, and more. I even stay in loose touch with one friend I’ve known since second grade (hi, Julie!). I have friends online I’ve never met in person, and it’s no accident that I begin every Happy Little Thoughts newsletter with the words “Dear friends.” 

Happiness and friendships

Good relationships are the single most important factor of a happy life. We all hope that our family relationships will be positive and uplifting, but sadly that’s not always the case. We get to choose our friends, and those friends can help fill our emotional needs and provide support when we need it. Fun with friends is one of the best joys of life.   

I count my friends as some of my biggest blessings, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

To celebrate the priceless love of friends this Valentine’s Day, here are 10 quotes highlighting different aspects of friendship. Which one is your favorite?

“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’”—C.S. Lewis

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“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.” –Baltasar Gracian

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“It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds. It’s your best friends who are supremely resilient, made under pressure and of astonishing value. They're everlasting; they can cut glass if they need to.”—Gina Barreca

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“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief”—Marcus Tullius Cicero

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“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”—Khalil Gibran

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“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”—Elie Wiesel

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”—Anais Nin

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“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”—Unknown

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“True friends are always together in spirit.”—L.M. Montgomery

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“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends. I love you more than words can say!

Photo by Daniel Álvasd on Unsplash

Most of the boxes are unpacked, the old house has a For Sale sign in the front yard, and I haven’t had an appointment with a real estate agent/carpet layer/repair professional for one entire week. Could this be the start of my new normal??

I hope so. It’s been so long since I had a regular writing schedule—or “regular” schedule of any kind—that I’m not sure yet how to proceed. I feel like I did when I started this blog in 2009. Where do I go from here?  

That’s where you come in. Do you still enjoy seeing new posts pop up in your email (see “Subscribe to posts” on the sidebar if you want to receive posts this way), your feed reader, or when you randomly visit Catching Happiness? I am so grateful for the faithful readers who have joined me over the years; your comments have meant so much to me. Is there something in particular you’d like to see covered on Catching Happiness? Is blogging dead and Substack (or another platform) the preferred way to connect?

When my life isn’t absolutely insane, I love writing and curating content for Catching Happiness. I want to keep writing posts about topics such as happiness, positive psychology, and living a rewarding life. I still want to share personal essay-type stories, the occasional Link Love and inspirational quote.

I’ve grown older and my stage of life has changed, so some of my perspectives and favorite topics have changed as well. And likely will continue to change. Experiences that loomed large a few years ago—raising a child, being deeply involved in horsemanship—are no longer quite the same. (I still have the child and the horse, but my day-to-day interaction with both is quite different!) I would like to continue exploring the pursuit of happiness right here, with you.

For now, that’s what I plan to do, unless I get a big wave of feedback that convinces me otherwise. Consider yourself warned. 😊

Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay

By now, many of the people I follow online have shared their lists of goals and expectations for 2025. I’ve been too involved in unpacking, decision-making, and continuing home improvement projects at both our old home and our new one to spend much time contemplating goals and plans for a new year. Truth be told, in the past, I’ve not been very successful at following through on goals intended to be accomplished over the course of a year. This form of goal setting doesn’t work for me.

I still have goals I would like to see accomplished by the end of this year, but I’ve got to find a more effective way to set and break them down. The first approach I’m going to try is to set goals by quarter. This method can take into account seasonal energy shifts, what outside events are taking place in my life, and if something isn’t going well after three months, I can regroup and reevaluate. I’m still figuring this out, but if I make any breakthroughs, I’ll be sure to share them!

What about word of the year?

It’s been my practice for years to choose a word of the year as a sort of theme/guide/stated wish for the year. Some years a word leaps out at me (as in 2018 and 2019). This year, I had to work to find a word that resonated.    

It’s likely that this year’s word was harder to pin down because I have two forces fighting inside me: “Come on, Woman, let’s set new, ambitious goals; let’s be more productive and GET THINGS DONE; c’mon, c’mon, let’s go…”

And

“OK, Sweetheart, it’s been a rough couple of years, let’s take some time to heal and regroup. You’re tired. Why not take care of yourself? You need more down time, not a longer to-do list.”

It took me a few days of test-driving possibilities, but I found a word I think will help with both parts of my inner monologue: Ease.

This word can be both noun and verb. As a noun, ease is the state of being comfortable or relaxed, free of worry or pain. The verb means to free something that pains, disquiets, or burdens; to lessen the pressure or tension; to maneuver gently or carefully to make less difficult.

That sounds perfect.

It is my desire to be comfortable, relaxed and free of worry. It is also my desire to maneuver gently and carefully to make life less difficult.

The last couple of years have worn me down physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve spent more time reacting than acting, my time primarily taken up by activities I didn’t ask for or want. There are some areas of my life that still need some tender care to replenish, but I also have more time to use productively in support of outward-facing goals.

Notice the word is ease, not easy. I’m not asking for easy (though easier wouldn’t come amiss). In my mind, ease means a change of attitude and how I approach things. Instead of forcing, rushing, and overscheduling, I will have an attitude of easing them along. I won’t make things harder than they need to be by my own ways of thinking and being. I can see myself turning to ease when I start to feel upset about something—how can I incorporate ease into this situation?

So that’s how far I’ve gotten in planning for the year 2025. I’m easing into it!

Have you set goals for 2025 or chosen a word of the year? What are you looking forward to? Please share in the comments!

Photo courtesy Sammy Sander via Pixabay

I lived for many years in the area of Southern California that is currently burning. So far, to my knowledge and with one exception, my friends are safe and have not had to evacuate. The exception? A college friend lost her family home of 33 years in the Eaton fire.

Recovering after a hurricane is terrible—but recovering after a fire? I imagine it’s worse. With a hurricane, unless you’re in the very worst of it, your house is likely still standing and you can salvage personal belongings. With a fire like the ones raging now, all that’s left is ash.

I was talking about the fires with a friend, and she mentioned Robert Frost’s poem, Fire and Ice, in passing. I looked it up, and in a few short lines, using the metaphors of fire and ice, he notes the danger of destruction we face from both desire and hate. Here is Frost’s poem:

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

While many, many people are helping survivors and firefighters, there are always the few who lead with hate. Whose first response is to point fingers, spread misinformation, and react with glee to the misfortune of others. These reactions just add to the pain and confusion. Almost every situation is more complicated and nuanced than we can easily comprehend.

The scale of the disasters the U.S. has faced this year is mind-blowing. I find myself grieving and overwhelmed, wondering what I can do. It’s too easy to do nothing, when what you can do seems insufficient. I recently came upon a saying, credited to Andy Stanley, that has helped me:

Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

I can be kind to those I come into contact with every day. (This means online as well as in person!)

I can look for the positive rather than focus on the negative.

And while I can’t go to L.A. and distribute food and clothes, I can donate money to organizations who are on the ground helping out. It might not be much, but maybe it can help one person. Helping one person is better than helping no one.

If you would like to help, click here for the Los Angeles Times’ guide to helping victims of the Southern California fires. 

To double check the legitimacy of charitable organizations, visit the Charity Navigator website. 

My friend has a GoFundMe page to help her family rebuild their home, which you can find here.

My friend Kerri organized a GoFundMe page for her friend who also lost everything, here. 

Calendar courtesy of Action for Happiness

Just wanted to pop in to wish you all a happy New Year, and share a few resources to help 2025 get off to a positive start. I have no affiliation with these people or organizations, but I have enjoyed and benefited from their offerings in the past. Here’s to a happier new year!

Check out 10 Days of Happiness—a free online program to boost your wellbeing. 

Click here to download your own Action for Happiness Happier January calendar (see image above). 

Design your year with Gretchen Rubin. 

Instead of charging into 2025, why not enjoy a “Gentle January”? This really appeals to me right now as I sit in my house full of boxes! (But hurry, because the live event is tomorrow, Jan. 2. Replay is available, but I think you need to be signed up in order to receive it.)

Remind yourself that good things happen, even when times feel hard. (Many of the most positive things are happening in countries other than my own. It’s helpful to remember that eliminating suffering anywhere is a good thing.) 

Wishing you all a joyful 2025. Now back to unpacking…

I will return to writing regular blog posts, but today is not that day. We finally have a move date and it is CLOSE. Next Friday, in fact. So I’ve doubled down on wrapping up home improvement projects and cleaning at our current home, as well as packing and purging, and transporting car loads of our belongings to the new place.

And the county just picked up the enormous mound of tree debris (see below) that has been sitting in front of our house since Milton blew through, so now we have to clean up what was left behind. I’m developing quite the set of upper body muscles because of all the raking, sweeping, lifting, and carrying.

The pile--it was larger than it appears in this photo

Even though the last two months have been an unbelievably wild ride, I’m enjoying many of the aspects of this move. This is not to say that I haven’t crashed and burned, made plenty of mistakes, and felt overwhelmed countless times—just that I feel like I’ve learned how to enjoy the rewarding moments during a project of this magnitude. I’ve become a lot more willing to accept imperfection in the cause of getting things done. While my husband might not agree, I feel like I’m more flexible—something I’ve always struggled with. I’ve allowed myself to feel the moments of sadness over leaving this very well-loved home, as well as the excitement of moving to a new-to-us place that is already starting to feel like home. (Once we’re settled, I’ll share a few pictures.)

Christmas isn’t exactly cancelled, but it won’t be the celebratory occasion it usually is in our family for obvious reasons. There may be a little holiday decorating if there’s time. I may or may not get around to making my traditional molasses sugar cookies; there will probably not be any Christmas cards this year.

But it won’t be long before we can start settling in to our new home, taking time to put our favorite things in new places, helping the pets get used to the move.

And when that time comes, I hope to get back to regular posts on Catching Happiness. I’ve learned so much over the past couple of years, and some of the lessons are worth exploring more deeply and sharing with others.

Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons, filled with simple pleasures and everyday adventures!

Me, looking for my latest to-do list Image courtesy Ivana Tomášková from Pixabay

Hurricane Milton recovery has slowed our progress in prepping our house to sell, but we’re still lumbering along. I’ve had very little time for writing, and any thinking time I have fills up with to-do lists and more to-do lists. But I am still capturing simple pleasures where I can, still reading, still surfing the internet. I’m sooooo looking forward to having a “normal” to-do list rather than a “sell my house and move” to-do list. (And I will strangle my husband if he asks me what I did today one more time.)

I may be living in chaos right now, but here are a few islands of calm and positivity I’ve found online recently. Enjoy!

I’m immersed in home-related decisions so I loved the info in “What Makes a Home Feel Good?”  

I am ABSOLUTELY going to try “Living Inside a Movie…” What a fun way to find and enjoy simple pleasures! (I’m currently living in The Money Pit, but someday I hope to be living in Something’s Gotta Give. What movie are you living in?) 

Click here for a dose of animal cuteness. 

I love stories of ordinary people making life better, like this one. 

Have you heard of a “dopamine menu”? “A dopamine menu is a curated list of pleasurable, healthy habits and activities that naturally elevate your dopamine levels, boosting happiness, motivation, and focus,” according to this article. Jessica McCabe, the creator of the YouTube channel “How To ADHD” and author of How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working With Your Brain (Not Against It) originated the concept. A dopamine menu, like a restaurant menu, can be divided into sections including appetizers (quick ways to boost good feelings), entrees (longer duration activities that might take some planning), and sides (pleasurable activities done along with tasks that are necessary but not enjoyable). Sounds a lot like a more detailed categorization of simple pleasures and everyday adventures! 

Poor sleep definitely affects my mood, and over the past few years I’ve struggled to get a solid night’s rest. I had fallen into some of these “8 Sneaky Habits that Are Destroying Your Sleep.” After making some changes, I’m sleeping better. 

I loved the tips in “How to Start Assuming the Best in People,” from Steven Collis, a law professor at the University of Texas and author of Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. We’re often too quick to judge people and situations as all good or all bad without allowing for nuance. 

Florida doesn’t have changing leaves in the fall, so I went here for my fall leaf fix. Sigh. 

Have a great weekend!

Image courtesy of Pixabay

My lists have lists.

My house looks like an indoor tornado spun through.

A giant mound of storm debris is stacked by the curb in front of our house…the one I’d like to sell (there’s a pile of storm debris in front of my new house, too, but I don’t mind that as much since curb appeal isn’t currently an issue for that house.) And we’re not through cleaning up our yard.

My brain hurts from all the calculations of time, logistics, and money it’s been forced into making over the past few weeks. One day I was supposed to be in three places at once—until Hurricane Milton cancelled everything.

And how are you?

All this to say, I’m going to take a couple weeks off from posting on Catching Happiness, though  I’m still going to send out the Happy Little Things newsletter next week as planned (subscribe here). 

In the meantime, check out these posts from the past you might enjoy (do you sense a theme here?):

One Less Thing 

Dog Paddling in the Ocean 

Just (Don’t) Do It 

My front yard/driveway

My family and I are safe after Hurricane Milton passed through our area. Our current home wasn’t damaged, though we lost several trees including one that blocked our driveway when it fell (see photo above). As of this writing, we have no power or internet, and cell service is spotty. I’m able to post this because our new home didn’t lose power and I was able to drive over and connect to the internet there.

There were two huge trees down near our new house, too, one uprooted in the backyard and one snapped off at the end of our cul-de-sac. In just a 10-minute drive between the properties, I saw multiple downed trees, a river overflowing its banks, and streets and yards underwater. And we aren’t even in the hardest hit area, nor did we have a tornado touch down.

As uncomfortable, worried, and tired as we are (hurricane prep and aftermath is exhausting), we are safe. We’re sooo grateful the tree didn’t come down on our house, and that the pile of rubble by the road is only debris from the storm and not all our water-logged belongings. My father-in-law’s mobile home, by some miracle, sustained only minor damage.

As I’ve been telling people who’ve checked in on me, now it’s just problem solving.

Hope you had a much more uneventful week than I have!

If you want to help those who’ve been impacted by Hurricane Milton, click here.