Photo by Abyan Athif on Unsplash

I found myself feeling cranky and a blue this week due to the purgatory and disarray that is home remodeling. I had hoped we would be done by the end of this week, but we’ve been delayed by…a kitchen sink. The one we bought two months ago turned out to be inappropriate for our job, and the replacement sink arrived broken. Sigh. A new sink is due to be delivered tomorrow and work can recommence once it’s here. Provided it arrives unscathed.

Since looking at my half-finished kitchen and all its contents scattered through the house has been depressing me, I decided it was time to stop thinking about what bugs me and focus on some of the things that bring me daily pleasure. Sort of a counting my blessings exercise to remind me how really great my life is. I tend to take for granted all the little things (and some big ones) that work for good.

So in random order, here are 10 large and small things making me happy right now:

Hearing birds, especially red wing blackbirds, on my morning walk.

Being able to pay my bills.

A giant list of books I want to read, and most I can read for free by checking them out from my library. Sometimes a long TBR list stresses me out, but most of the time I love having many compelling books to choose from.

I am currently healthy and not injured (knock wood).

My new home. Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for our new place. I love it so much!

I heard the frogs singing after a much-needed rainstorm Thursday night.

That much-needed rainstorm—we’ve been in a serious drought.

Good friends who encourage me, inspire me to be a better person, and who share in my adventures.

Loving family relationships—watching our niece and nephew moving into their roles as parents, talking with my stepmom on the phone for more than hour this week.

Our kitchen remodel will be done soon and it will be wonderful!

I know many people are suffering right now, and I understand how privileged I am. Even in an objectively good life, little irritations and worries can add up, and make me forget just how good it is. It was time for me to spend a few minutes refocusing on what I love rather than what’s bugging me. In addition to feeling better, I am better able to help those around me when I’m not mired in negativity. Helping others makes me feel happier, and so it goes, in a virtuous cycle. Remembering what makes me happy right now? It’s a start.

What are some things making you happy right now?

A quick update today: kitchen remodeling is underway! The good news: the kitchen will not take (knock wood) as long as the bathroom to complete. The bad news: it’s really hard to feed yourself without a kitchen sink, dishwasher, and counters. Food prep is tough, and washing dishes in the laundry tub is, shall we say, problematic. We do have use of our stove and oven, which helps. We can cook the food, but cleaning up after is a pain.

Lots of waiting around for contractors to arrive, noise, disruption, mess, and chaos—the animals are handling it better than the humans, probably because their meals aren’t affected.

This project has been hanging over my head for months—I’m excited to see it in progress, and it will be a huge relief to have it finished. We’ve been thrilled with our bathroom renovation, and I think we’re going to be just as happy with our kitchen. We’re not moving plumbing or changing the configuration, but the cabinetry will go almost to the ceiling and there will be corner cabinets instead of dead space. I’m hoping this will solve some of our storage problems—and we’ll be able to unpack the last couple of boxes in the garage!

A tiny sneak peek:

This has been my adventure for the week—what was yours? 

Photo by Shamblen Studios on Unsplash

The advertisements and marketing emails are everywhere: Mother’s Day is coming. And for those of us who no longer have our mothers with us, this can be a painful time of year. Rather than hide from it, I’ve been thinking about what we can do to enjoy the day. Here are four ways we can celebrate Mother’s Day if our moms are no longer with us. 

Celebrate the women in your life who fill a mothering role for you

I’m lucky to have a few cherished older women in my life I still look up to. My mom’s twin sister, my stepmom, and even my high school creative writing teacher who I’ve remained in touch with for 40+ years. These women continue to inspire me and love me unconditionally, and even though I don’t need advice from them very often anymore, I know I could ask them for it and hear something of merit.

Celebrate any new moms you know

In our family, we have two new moms: our niece, Jennifer, and our nephew’s wife, Kelly. Both are navigating the first six months of their new roles, and both are the kind of women I’m proud to call family. Their strength, humor, and love will serve them well as moms. I’m excited to watch a new generation of parents in our family!

Remember with gratitude all you loved about your mom

Until recently, I found it too painful to think much about my mom and our life together. That is slowly changing, and I’m starting to be able to remember fun times we shared, and look back with gratitude for her presence. I so wish she could see our new home and talk over my plans for changes and updates—we both would have enjoyed that immensely!

If you’re a mom, celebrate yourself!

I am a mom, and it’s been one of the most challenging and mind-blowing roles of my life. I made many mistakes (still do) but I’ve loved being a mom and am grateful for the experience. I’m also grateful for the chances for personal growth being a mom provided—I know I’m a better, stronger person because of it. 

Miss you, Mom

I miss my mom, and I know I was lucky to have a caring mother and a good relationship with her—not everyone has that blessing. Whatever your relationship with your mom, good or bad, whether she is present or gone, I hope you have a happy Mother’s Day!

If you feel comfortable, share one happy memory of your mom in the comments!

P.S. If you still have your mom, give her some extra love this year on Mother’s Day!

Photo by Lan Gao on Unsplash

“For is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth, even a kind of second adolescence? It is true that society in general does not help one accept this interpretation of the second half of life. And therefore this period of expanding is often tragically misunderstood. Many people never climb above the plateau of forty-to-fifty. The signs that presage growth, so similar, it seems to me, to those in early adolescence: discontent, restlessness, doubt, despair, longing, are interpreted falsely as signs of decay. In youth one does not as often misinterpret the signs; one accepts them, quite rightly, as growing pains. One takes them seriously, listens to them, follows where they lead. One is afraid. Naturally. Who is not afraid of pure space—that breath-taking empty space of an open door? But despite fear, one goes through to the room beyond.”

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift From the Sea

Photo by Shelley Pauls on Unsplash

A very happy Friday to you! In this edition of Link Love, I share a collection of articles about systems, habits, and beliefs that can help us feel happier—plus a couple of unrelated minor delights. Enjoy!

I love the two-minute system Neil Pasrischa uses when anxiety spikes. Click here to learn more about “Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud.” 

I’m practicing several of these slow living habits. 

Why does Finland consistently rank as the happiest country in the world? Here are six habits and beliefs that contribute. (I especially found it interesting that “happiness” for Finns is more about contentment and life satisfaction than feelings of “overwhelming happiness.”) 

In the face of setbacks and hard times, how do you keep calm and carry on? Here are some great answers to that question. 

Spending too much time online makes me unhappy, so I’ve been trying to cut down on mindlessly scrolling on my phone. “The Real Secret to Reducing Screen Time” has some helpful suggestions; click through to see the details, but “The real secret to reducing screen time is to shift your focus from controlling your phone to forgetting all about it.” 

Reading is a source of joy for me, but I can get caught up in trying to read more books at the cost of a deeper, more rewarding reading experience. Reading faster doesn’t mean reading better. In “What we lose when we gamify reading,” Marissa Levien discusses how we can take goal setting around reading too far, to our own detriment. 

In February, Larry the cat celebrated 15 years as the British government’s official rodent-catcher and unofficial first feline. His duties include “greeting guests to the house, inspecting security defenses and testing antique furniture for napping quality.” He’s been known to say hello to world leaders and photobomb visitors as they enter the front door of No. 10 Downing Street. 

This is a beautiful version of Elton John’s “Your Song.” 

Have a great weekend!