Photo courtesy Michael and Christa Richert |
A couple of Sundays ago, I spent the entire day in my
pajamas. It was cold and rainy outside, my husband and son were sick, and it
just seemed so much more pleasant to drink tea and read a book than go out. I
even baked coconut chocolate chip zucchini bread. Without thinking about it at
the time, I was practicing my version of hygge.
Hygge—pronounced approximately “Hoo-gah”—is a Danish concept
that has recently been attracting plenty of attention and popularity. While
hygge is most often translated as “coziness,” Danish researcher and hygge
expert Jeppe Trolle Linnet suggests it would be translated more accurately as
“homeyness,” with home being a place to shut out the negativity of the outside
world. You can hygge at home, or in a cozy café, or even picnicking
in the park—it’s the atmosphere that counts the most. Hygge can be used as a
noun, a verb or an adjective!
Pia Edberg, writing in The Cozy Life, describes it this way: “the art of creating warmth, comfort, and wellbeing through connection, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with the things you love.” And while many factors go into making the Danes some of the happiest people in the world, hygge surely must be one reason.
Pia Edberg, writing in The Cozy Life, describes it this way: “the art of creating warmth, comfort, and wellbeing through connection, treasuring the moment, and surrounding yourself with the things you love.” And while many factors go into making the Danes some of the happiest people in the world, hygge surely must be one reason.
In the fullest sense of the word, true hygge is often
planned carefully. It usually involves other people you know well or feel
comfortable with, and often some element of the homemade, such a bread or cake.
Hygge equals people bonding together and helping each other, especially during
the cold, dark winter months. To experience hygge, stay off electronic devices
and interact with others. Enjoy simple, old-fashioned pleasures like telling
stories or reading aloud. Some equate hygge with mindful living and simple
pleasures—things like:
- Candlelight dinners with family or friends
- Listening to music by candlelight or firelight (or both)
- Watching the sunset, with or without a glass of wine
- Soft textures—fleecy throws or pillows, flannel sheets
- Furry pets
- Warm, homey scents, such as cinnamon, vanilla, or pine, from candles or essential oils
- A bonfire with roasting marshmallows
- Playing cards and games
- Doing a jigsaw puzzle
- Making gifts or cards
- Hand writing a letter
Prudy is a hygge expert |
Hygge is all about simple pleasures, about helping people
make it through a cold, dark, and difficult time, such as a Scandinavian
winter. I can’t think of a more Catching Happiness-like concept!
What simple pleasures contribute to a feeling of hygge for you?
If you want to explore hygge in more detail, check out the
following books:
The Cozy Life, Pia Edberg
The Little Book of Hygge, Meik Wiking
The Book of Hygge: The Danish Art of Contentment,Comfort, and Connection, Louisa Thomsen Brits
How to Hygge: The Nordic Secrets to a Happy Life,
Signa Johansen
Photo courtesy markrussellmc |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: We constantly compare one
thing with another, or attempt to, saying, “Well, you know, love is
like...it’s like...well, YOU know what it's like.” Here Bob King, who
lives in Colorado, takes an original approach and compares love to the
formation of rocks.
Geology
I know the origin of rocks, settling
out of water, hatching crystals
from fire, put under pressure
in various designs I gathered
pretty, picnic after picnic.
And I know about love, a little,
igneous lust, the slow affections
of the sedimentary, the pressure
on earth out of sight to rise up
into material, something solid
you can hold, a whole mountain,
for example, or a loose collection
of pebbles you forgot you were keeping.
Reprinted from the Marlboro Review, Issue 16, 2005, by
permission of the author. Copyright © 2005 by Robert King, whose prose book, Stepping Twice Into the River: Following Dakota Waters, appeared in
2005 from The University Press of Colorado. This weekly column is supported by
The Poetry Foundation, The Library of Congress, and the Department of English
at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. The column does not accept unsolicited
manuscripts.
“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor
that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.”
—William Butler Yeats
For the past week, I’ve found myself waking every morning
from anxious dreams. I’m OK during the day when I can use my conscious mind to
relax, but by night, my subconscious takes over…and evidently it’s worried. I
suspect this is a reaction to the level of anxiety in my nation and the world
right now. While I can’t seem to help being anxious and worried about the
future, I realize that those feelings are completely useless and are robbing me
of joy. Maybe you feel the same? So I’ve been actively trying to reduce my
anxiety levels instead of pretending things are fine or simply distracting
myself. Here are four things I’m doing to combat anxious feelings:
- Accept that yes, I live in troubled times. There is suffering, hate, misogyny, fear. This, sadly, is nothing new. We will always have to fight the darkness if we don’t want it to overcome the light.
- Refuse to add to the darkness by expressing hate for people or institutions I don’t like or disagree with. (Yes, I’m allowed to dislike and disagree—but I don’t have to express my opinions and feelings in a bombastic, dogmatic way.) Don’t add to my fear by reading and watching lots of news. Avoid lengthy discussions about problems the world faces. When I do choose to read the news, I choose the most unbiased sources I can find, look for context, and don’t accept stories without verifying. I don’t bother with sources that specialize in half-truths or click bait, even if they’re primarily intended as entertainment.
- Support my body, mind, and spirit with uplifting, anxiety-reducing simple pleasures. Use my essential oils to calm anxiety and support my immune system. Be present and mindful. Enjoy the cooler weather we’re having by walking more, and opening the windows for some fresh air (I rarely do that here because of the humidity). Spend extra time with Tank, my four-legged therapist. Listen to happy music while working. Read a good book. (Check out Belle’s list of spirit lifting books here and mine here.)
- Look for ways to spread kindness and happiness. Encourage others, donate money, be a good citizen. Be kind, help out, stay positive. Don’t give up on looking and hoping for the best.
There’s nothing ground-breaking here, but that doesn’t mean
these practices are either easy or worthless. They are within my power to do,
as so many other things are not.
As Corrie ten Boom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of
its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Now if only I could convince my
subconscious of that.
How do you soothe yourself when you feel anxious?
Introduction by Ted Kooser: My maternal grandparents
got their drinking water from a well in the yard, and my disabled uncle carried
it sloshing to the house, one bucket of hard red water early every morning. I
couldn’t resist sharing this lovely little poem by Minnesota poet, Sharon
Chmielarz.
New Water
All those years—almost a hundred—
the farm had hard water.
Hard orange. Buckets lined in orange.
Sink and tub and toilet, too,
once they got running water.
And now, in less than a lifetime,
just by changing the well’s location,
in the same yard, mind you,
the water’s soft, clear, delicious to drink.
All those years to shake your head over.
Look how sweet life has become;
you can see it in the couple who live here,
their calmness as they sit at their table,
the beauty as they offer you new water to drink.
Reprinted by permission of Sharon Chmielarz, whose most recent collection of poems is “The Rhubarb King,” Loonfeather Press, 2006. Copyright © 2006 by Sharon Chmielarz. This weekly column is supported by The Poetry Foundation, The Library of Congress, and the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
Books
How to Have More Everyday Adventures, or What I Learned From Linda Formichelli’s How to Do It All
January 20, 2017
If you want to enrich your life with activities
that inspire you, and you’d like a jumpstart into action, then Linda
Formichelli’s newest book How to Do It All: The Revolutionary Plan to Createa Full, Meaningful Life—While Only Occasionally Wanting to Poke Your Eyes Out With a Sharpie is a good place to start.
You don’t have to use all—or any—of them; you can choose
your own Desires. Formichelli offers examples of three levels of goals for each
Desire, from very simple to more involved. For example, if your Desire was to
travel more, a simple goal could be taking a day trip; a more complicated one
would be taking an overseas trip.
What are some everyday adventures you’d like to experience in 2017?
How to D-I-A flies in the face of the ubiquitous
advice to slow down and simplify your life. Formichelli writes, “Would you
rather look back on a year that was full of fun, adventure—and yes, some
stress—or remember a year where you floated through your days stress-free, but
that’s pretty much all you did?” She does not believe stress is always bad for
you, or that everything we do we (should) do for someone else (and neither do I).
One of the more helpful tools for me was the exercise in
determining your top three values—the why behind your Desires. Once
you’re clear on what you value, it’s much easier to see what goals will be
easier to follow through with. Another plus is a packet of worksheets at the
end of the book, also available to download.
I appreciated the advice to rethink my schedule and habits
to give my D-I-A Desires prime time, not just the dregs of time left over after
I do everything else. The book was worth reading for the energy boost and
motivation alone. My only caution would be to remember you determine
what feels full and what feels too busy for you. Formichelli has a remarkable
amount of energy if she’s anything like she comes across in print, and I would
be exhausted and unhappy if I tried to do as much as she does.
I found How to Do It All readable, practical, and
entertaining, and I recommend it for anyone looking to enrich her life with
meaningful activities.
What are some everyday adventures you’d like to experience in 2017?
I’ve been thinking about a forensic investigation technique lately—and not just because I like reading mysteries. No, it’s because I recently came across Dr. Edmond Locard’s principle of exchange, which states, “Every contact leaves a trace.” This principle is the basis of forensic science—trace evidence, such as fingerprints, DNA, footprints, or fibers, can now be used to link people or objects to crime scenes.
Every contact does leave a trace, and not just
forensically speaking. The people around us, and what we allow into our
surroundings and our minds, leave traces on us and in us. We all have people in
our lives who inspire, energize, and encourage us, and thank goodness for them.
We probably also know people who drain us of energy or leave us anxious and
irritated after every encounter. To protect our happiness and overall mental
state, we can seek out the people and things which lift us up, while minimizing
contact with the people and things which leave a negative trace.
I try to walk the line between hiding from the legitimate
problems in the world and allowing them too much space in my head. I know what
I choose to read and to watch leaves a trace, so I don’t choose to read or
watch certain things, no matter how worthy they might be. I surround myself as
much as is in my power with things I want to leave a trace on my world.
My office especially is a place that holds symbols and talismans of
inspiration, as well as reminders of love others have shown me, and things I
aspire to. I’m also fortunate enough to
have a great deal of control over the people I interact with, and therefore
most of them leave positive traces.
What about the traces we ourselves are leaving? It bears
remembering that we have the power to influence others with our words and
actions. After all, happiness is contagious.
With every interaction, we touch others and they touch us. What
kind of trace will you leave?
Introduction by Ted Kooser: A while back we published a column in which I talked about
my delight in the many names of kinds of apples, and mentioned Louise Bogan's
marvelous mid-century poem “The Crossed Apple.” Here's yet another
fine apple-name poem for my collection, by Susan Rothbard, who lives in New
Jersey.
That New
At the market today, I look for Piñata
apples, their soft-blush-yellow. My husband
brought them home last week, made me guess at
the name of this new strain, held one in his hand
like a gift and laughed as I tried all
the names I knew: Gala, Fuji, Honey
Crisp—watched his face for clues—what to call
something new? It’s winter, only tawny
hues and frozen ground, but that apple bride
was sweet, and I want to bring it back to him,
that new. When he cut it, the star inside
held seeds of other stars, the way within
a life are all the lives you might live,
each unnamed, until you name it.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2012 by Susan Rothbard, “That New,” from the Cortland Review,
(No. 58, 2012). Poem reprinted by permission of Susan Rothbard and the
publisher. Introduction copyright ©2017 by The Poetry Foundation. The
introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate
Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not
accept unsolicited manuscripts.
During the week between Christmas and Jan. 1, I begin my official year-end wrap up and planning for the next year. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but I do set some big, overarching goals at this time. Or try to. I have a problem with big, overarching goals. Oh, I can set them all right, but I struggle with the nitty-gritty, down-and-dirty practicality of how to get from here to there. I’m going to try something new this year, which I’ll get to later, but first, I’m going to share with you some tools I use for planning my goals for a new year.
Year-End Review
Before I get into any goal setting, I look back over the
past year to see what I’ve accomplished and where I’ve fallen short. This year,
I used Marie Forleo’s three-question review, but I also wrote down a list of
some of the more mundane things I did that nevertheless were accomplishments,
such as reading 109 books, posting to Catching Happiness 106 times, and
starting a regular sketching practice (three months and counting). While I fell
short on working on my book idea, riding Tank bridleless, purging my house of
unneeded items, and various and sundry other goals, 2016 was a better-than-average
year for me. I took a moment to savor those accomplishments before moving on
to…
Goal Brainstorming
Next, I start writing out all the things that are floating around in my head that I would like to see accomplished in the coming year. This is where I allow myself to dream big, and I include as many of the nagging tasks I’d like to see finished as I can think of. This year, I’ve made a list called “70 in ’17”—70 things I want to happen in 2017. Some of these are writing goals (complete a draft of that book, write some haiku), some are household goals (buy new light fixture for kitchen nook, stain the chairs on the front porch), and some are just for fun (do puzzle with M, buy some new music, go to Fannin Hill with Tank). My idea is to work from this list as I sit down to plan each month.
12-Week Planning
This is the new thing I mentioned above. I recently read The12-Week Year, and I’m experimenting with 12-Week planning. I’m hoping this will solve my problem with carrying out my bigger goals by helping me break them down into much smaller, more do-able increments. So far, I’m still struggling a bit with that—my perfectionism (fear in disguise?) is hampering my ability to choose and break down appropriate goals, but I’m making progress.
Word of the Year
As I’ve done in past years, I choose a word of the year to guide me. Previous years’ words have included open, light, passion, and quality. This year’s word is “deeper.” I want it to encourage me to stop skimming the surface and go deeper, to find the riches that are buried. Be less superficial, more real. Do fewer things, but do them better.
Vision Board
For me, this is just pure fun. I like playing with pretty pictures! I create two—a larger one for my office, and a smaller one to go in my daily planner. I choose images and words that make me happy and draw me to them, that symbolize for me something I want more of in my life.
How do you plan for a new year? Do you have any goals or
dreams for 2017 you’d like to share?
“A new year is a gift, a small piece of infinity, to do with
as we will. Things happen. We grow (we hope), and we learn willy nilly. Life
moves around us, life moves through us to others, and the year gradually
accepts its pattern. We give, we take, we resist, we flow. Our reachings,
acceptances, rejections, our hesitancies, courage, fears, and our loves, all
these form the shape of the year for each of us, as individuals, as part of a
family, as a member of a community.”
—Jean Hersey, The Shape of a Year
I hope you had a most happy and refreshing holiday season.
Even though it was 85 degrees on Christmas Day, we enjoyed hosting family for a
meal, and apparently we were very good this year, because we all received
delightful gifts.
I regret nothing |
I spent last week sleeping in, puttering around, dreaming
and making plans for 2017, reading, and (let’s be honest) keeping Prudy out of
the Christmas tree until I could take it down yesterday. This year’s broken ornament
count: two. Not bad.
For me personally, 2016 was an excellent year, and I plan to
build on that success in 2017. I have fun plans for Catching Happiness, too—so
stick around!
Happy New Year—may it bring you much joy, growth, and
meaning!