Backyards

Right in My Own Backyard

June 06, 2014

Some unusual things have been happening in my own back yard. This plant/tree is blooming:



Anyone know what it is? A neighbor gave us a piece trimmed from her tree (it looked like a three-pronged stick), and it’s growing leaves and blossoming. It smells nice, too.

The ginger is blooming:


So is the geranium:


And the angel wing begonia:



One of our sago palms has produced this:


A mature male Sago produces this cone every second or third year. (Though technically, this is in my front yard.)

On the downside, our dog, who is 15 years old, cut her leg badly enough to need stitches and a trip to the emergency vet. Then two days later, she came in from the backyard with a punctured foot—the vet says either a bite or an entrapment injury. She’s now on lockdown—can’t go out in the backyard without supervision—which doesn’t please her, but oh, well. She’s pretty much back to normal, and I’m taking her to have the stitches removed this morning. (I have pictures of those, too, but I’ll spare you!)

Even though I love to go exploring, it’s clear that there are plenty of everyday adventures to be had right in my own backyard.

What’s been happening in your backyard lately?

Books

She Didn't Come to Stay...

June 04, 2014

But while she was here, she had a profound influence on so many.

I heard Maya Angelou speak in Tampa a few years ago, and while I don’t remember her exact words, I remember the feeling I left with—the feeling that life was a precious gift, and we should live it to the fullest. She was funny and wise and just…amazing.

I’ve only read the first volume of her autobiography (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings), but I have a couple more on my TBR shelf (the title of this post is a variation on the last line of her final autobiographical volume, A Song Flung Up to Heaven) and a volume of her poetry.

In remembrance of Maya Angelou, who died May 28 at age 86, here are a few of my favorite quotes:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

“All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us that we are more alike than we are unalike.”

“Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

“Some critics will write, ‘Maya Angelou is a natural writer’—which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.”

“I believe the most important single thing, beyond discipline and creativity, is daring to dare.”

 Click below to see Dr. Angelou recite her poem, “Still I Rise.”


Happiness

Choosing Happiness

June 02, 2014

I think and write a lot about the things that contribute to a happy life in general, as well as what makes me, specifically happy. Lately, I’ve been thinking about one particular factor: choosing happiness.

I know I have a good life. And as I become more mindful of that life, while doing the everyday, ordinary things that make it up—driving to the grocery store, browsing the library shelves, cooking dinner—more often I’m choosing to feel happy. Happy instead of rushed, instead of frustrated, resentful, worried, etc. Happy.

I’m not talking about pasting on a happy face when life is truly hard, or denying pain and negative feelings. I’m talking about recognizing how happy ordinary life can be. Instead of feeling neutral or hurried, instead of zoning out and not feeling anything, I choose to feel happy.

How about you?


Happiness

Oh, No--It's Summer!

May 30, 2014

I feel like I’m the opposite of most people because I dread summer, and my summer plans mostly involve figuring out how to stay inside as much as possible. If I could hibernate during summer, I would! But since I can’t, I’m going to make the best of the new season by finding ways to make summer fun instead of a time to be endured. I’m going to work less, have more fun, shake up the routine, and just generally be more relaxed. Here are some of the things I want to do this summer when Florida’s temperatures and humidity make hibernating look appealing:

  • Institute Friday movie nights—my husband and I plan to pop some popcorn and rewatch some old favorites—like My Cousin Vinny and The Princess Bride. (I’m going to slip in Mama Mia! and My Life in Ruins, but I doubt I’ll get him to watch those with me! He can watch something more manly while I’m reveling in Greek scenery and romance.)
  • Spend time with friends. I have two friends coming in from out of town this summer, and I’m going to make the time to be with them, even if I have to—gasp!—let my normal work slide. I’m also going to make more time for getting together with local friends—I’ve been missing our long breakfasts/lunches/coffee dates
  • Reinstate “Summer Reruns” on the blog—once a month I’ll rerun a favorite post from a previous year.
  • Read at whim, regardless of bookish challenges. I want to read Mary Stewart’s The Crystal Cave, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten in making summer reading plans. Fear not, though—I’ll be reading plenty, hopefully while relaxing on a chaise lounge and sipping some cold iced tea. (Note to self: make iced tea.)
If you ask nicely, I might move.
You’ll notice that not one of those things would fit on a traditional to-do list. I’ve got more than enough of those floating around—in fact, I should add “discard projects and goals” to the above list so I can indulge in my summer plans with no guilt feelings. Too often when I find life a little uncomfortable, I mope around feeling sorry for myself or helpless to make things better instead of looking for ways to add simple pleasures to my days. You can see from the above list that it doesn’t take much to make me feel happier—and you’re probably the same. So this summer I’m going to actively pursue my favorite simple pleasures—and maybe a few everyday adventures—instead of letting the hot, humid weather get me down.

What are some of your summer plans?

Pretty but HOT

Amy Fleury

Everything Rising

May 28, 2014

Photo courtesy Peter Rossing

Let’s celebrate the first warm days of spring with a poem for mushroom hunters, this one by Amy Fleury, who lives in Louisiana. [Introduction by Ted Kooser.]

First Morel

Up from wood rot,
wrinkling up from duff
and homely damps,
spore-born and cauled
like a meager seer,
it pushes aside earth
to make a small place
from decay. Bashful,
it brings honeycombed
news from below
of the coming plenty
and everything rising.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2013 by Amy Fleury from her most recent book of poems, Sympathetic Magic, Southern Illinois University Press, 2013. Poem reprinted by permission of Amy Fleury and the publisher. Introduction copyright 2014 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Everyday adventures

Happiness is a Bigger Bed

May 23, 2014

The discussion starts like this:


“Could you move your elbow?”

“No, there’s no place for me to put it.”

“You’re on my side.”

“No, I’m not. I’m right on the edge of the bed. Look—you’re taking up more than your half!”

“No, I’m not—I’m hanging off my side…”

And on it goes as my husband and I bicker about space while we read in bed before we go to sleep. He’s bigger than I am, but does that mean I should give up my comfort so he can have more room? And in turn, why do I insist on a strict 50-50 division, even though we are not equal in size?

Don't forget room for me...
It occurs to me this little argument is a sort of parallel for marriage, or any close relationship for that matter: Each person struggling for territory of his or her own while trying to stay together in a finite space.

Is there a solution? Yes, and it’s simple:

Buy a bigger bed.

Or, create a relationship that gives both parties more room. Look for the win-win.

Too often we get caught up in our own points of view, in believing we’re right and our partner is wrong, when really, we’re both right. Working this out takes awareness and flexibility. We need to be aware of our true needs, our partner’s needs and what the situation calls for. One person shouldn’t have to make all the sacrifices, and both should feel free to make their needs known. We shouldn’t always cling to our “rights” OR always be the one who bends and accommodates. We lose flexibility when we establish arbitrary rules. This means we must also feel that we’re worthy of our space, needs and wants and that they matter as much as our partner’s. As much as, not more than.

Of course, balance in relationships is a constantly moving target. That’s one of the great things about a relationship—being aware of the other person’s needs and supporting him, and having your own needs supported in turn. Learning how to perform this balancing act is a challenge, but one worth mastering if we want to live happily with another. After 26 years of marriage, I’m still working on it.

How do you create win-win situations in your life?