Happiness

Happiness is Contagious--Spread It Around!

January 21, 2010

Maybe it’s entered your mind, as it has mine, that pursuing and catching happiness might be just the tiniest bit selfish. Shouldn’t we be focusing on helping others and being responsible, upstanding members of society? Well, yes—but my guess is we are already doing those things. Even if we sometimes fall short in our own eyes, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carve out a little happiness for ourselves. We are each individuals who deserve to be happy. Period. But on days when the feeling of being “selfish” overcomes you, remember this: there is actual scientific research that shows that happiness is “contagious.”

A study published in the British Medial Journal (click here for the entire report) found that “the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends).” That means that if you’re happy, then it is more likely that your spouse or partner, your children, your friends, even your neighbors, will be happy, too. Some statistics from the study: living within a mile of a friend who becomes happy increases the probability that you will be happy by 25%. A live-in partner who becomes happy increases the likelihood of his or her partner’s happiness by 8%; a sibling who lives close by, by 14% and nearby neighbors got the biggest boost in likelihood of happiness—34%! Catching happiness for yourself is almost certain to make others happy, too.

What makes you happy? Is it something small, like having a half hour to read or do a crossword puzzle at the end of the day? Is it something larger, like volunteering for a cause you believe in, or working a job that you love that you feel makes a difference in the world? Take a look at your life. What’s working? What isn’t? What aren’t you doing that you would love to do? What can you stop doing that you hate? Figure out what makes you happy and go for it.

What are you waiting for? Go catch some happiness…then spread it around!

I'm happy

Giving

Just One Thing

January 16, 2010

The photos and stories coming out of Haiti are heartbreaking—how can one tiny country suffer so much? And Haiti is not the only place where suffering seems to be the baseline for living. I sometimes have to put a moratorium on newspaper reading because there are so many big, unsolvable problems, I become overwhelmed. Despite our economic woes, the U.S. is so much better off in so many ways than nearly the entire world.

I’m happy to see the pouring out of support and help for Haiti, but I wonder what will happen to it once this crisis is “over”—or if it ever will, truly, be over. The country was still struggling to recover from the effects of the hurricanes in 2008 before the earthquake. Haiti needs more than donations of money. They need more than bottled water, or food or medicine. Even I can see this, and I am not remotely qualified to determine what they really need and/or how to give them lasting help. Sending a donation to a relief agency doesn’t feel like enough—it feels like a cop out. Does this mean I should do nothing? That’s not right, either.

I believe when any one of us reaches out to help another, no matter how small the act, it sends positive energy into the world. Imagine if every day every one of us helped someone else! The world would be a better place.

So today, instead of being frustrated because my efforts seem so puny in the face of the world’s troubles, I’ll do “just one thing.” Today, I’ll send a donation to a relief organization to help Haiti. Tomorrow, I’ll try to find someone else to help, and hope that that’s enough. For me, some days my one thing might be something as small as looking the supermarket cashier in the eye and smiling at her. Some days that will be all I am capable of. Other days, my one thing will be more substantial.

Like everyone, I have limited time and money to give. I don’t have answers for the world’s problems. But I can do just one thing.

Everyday adventures

Well, I Asked for Winter

January 12, 2010

I know those of you in more northern climes are laughing at us Floridians, but, hey, it’s COLD here! We’re not set up for temps in the 20s, 30s and 40s. Our newspaper noted that the temperatures have been up to 25 degrees colder than normal in the past week. My yard is decorated with the most uncoordinated collection of sheets you ever saw in a vain attempt to keep our landscape from dying.


The horses’ water buckets have ice on them:




The birdbath is frozen solid:
 

  and my tomatoes, well, the less said about them the better.

R.I.P., Better Boy

Is this what winter is like? I’ve lived in either California or Florida all my life, so I have no real experience with cold weather. I admit I’m a weather weenie. I have mostly enjoyed this cold spell, though, bundling up in sweatpants, socks and slippers and curling up under a blanket to watch TV. I can “endure” this cold spell because I know the temperatures will soon be back to normal. Winter in Florida is the reason many people move here, after all. So those of you who are buried in snow, you have my sympathies. Stay warm!

Simple pleasures

Alone

January 09, 2010

My husband just took our son and one of his friends to see Avatar at a theater about 30 minutes away from our home. Add an hour's round-trip travel time to the approximately two hour, 40-minute movie time and you (I) get: nearly four hours alone in my own home.

Yipppppeeeeee!

Sorry. I got excited there for a bit. This might not seem like a big deal to you, but my husband and I both work from home, so the times when I can be alone in my own home are few and far between. I cherish them. I love the quiet, or, alternately, the sound of the music “I” chose, or the TV show/movie I ALONE decided to watch.

Does this sound selfish? Too bad.

For an introvert like myself, alone time is not just a want—it’s a need. I need time to think, time to daydream, time to plan, or read or just do nothing with no one to distract me. That’s why I get up before everyone else on weekdays—so I have at least a few minutes wherein I am all on my own. Time alone recharges me and is utterly essential to my well-being.

Many times I have to leave my house to be alone. I visit the barn or go to the library, or sometimes just step outside to our lanai. It helps. But sometimes, I just like to wander through my domain and bask in the glory that is Solitude. Somehow, when someone else is in the house, his thoughts and desires and opinions get all tangled up with mine. I find I can think more clearly when no one is home.

I don’t think I’d enjoy living alone all the time, however. (I never have lived alone. I moved from my childhood home, to a dorm, to an apartment with a roommate, to an apartment with my husband.) I might enjoy it for a while—the sheer luxury of taking no one else’s needs or opinions into account. But eventually the weight of all the decision-making would get to me. And I would miss having someone to tell things to or consult with. I love my family and we mostly have a happy and peaceful home. I am profoundly grateful for this.

So what shall I do with this bonanza of alone time? What I’ve been trying to do all week: Get quiet with myself. Make some plans for the year; brainstorm some personal and professional goals. Maybe do a “vision board” as described by Christine Kane, or treat myself to a viewing of the new episode of What Not to Wear. But best of all, I can make those choices unencumbered by anyone else’s idea of what I “should” be doing, and unconcerned that I am neglecting anyone else’s needs. For the next four hours, my needs take center stage. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have some recharging to do.

Everyday adventures

Too Much Time On Our Hands?

January 08, 2010

When life becomes stressful or too busy or you're faced with an unpleasant task, sometimes it's fun to do something completely silly to break the tension.  Fortunately, at our barn, we are well supplied with people willing to be silly.  For instance:

In September, our horses begin to grow their winter coats.  That's at least two months, maybe three, before the temperatures and humidity will drop enough for them to need a winter coat.  Riding them in this condition leaves them a sweaty mess, and makes life harder for us and them, so we clip them--a messy and unpleasant task.  (Imagine horse hair in your bra.) This year, two of my friends (Marianne and Mary Ann--I know, it's confusing) helped me clip Tank, and seeking to make the task more enjoyable, Marianne carved a sort of reverse brand onto Tank's rump.  Here it is, somewhat grown out:


Another view:


This started a barn trend, and Jazz received a music note, Moonshadow a crescent moon, and Mary Ann's horse, Frenchy, got this:

Peace out, everyone

Somehow, figuring out how to carve designs on our horses' rumps, and giggling over the process, took clipping out of the realm of chore and into the realm of fun. 

On another occasion, we put aside our Serious and Important Work to throw a horse birthday party.  Tank and Frenchy actually share a birthday, so last year to celebrate, Mary Ann made them both party hats and I made them a horsey birthday cookie. (Oats and carrots and molasses--yum!)

Frenchy eats the cookie

Tank's turn!

Does this hat make me look funny?

So the next time you feel overwhelmed, find something silly to do. (And write and tell me about it!) I guarantee you'll feel better--even if you do have horse hair in your bra.