Photo by Jovan Vasiljević on Unsplash

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

—G.K. Chesterton

Done!

Earlier this week I was surprised to realize that Thanksgiving is next week. OH. That means we’re just a week (or so) away from November being over. Here’s what’s been happening, Chez Catching Happiness.

Bathroom reno

The bathroom renovation is done (see above)! All that remains are a few odds and ends like hanging towel bars and pictures, and choosing some new decorative pieces to complete the space. It’s so beautiful and tranquil and definitely worth the weeks of chaos. It makes me happy every time I go in there. 

Now I’m sorting through everything we pulled out of the bathroom while the reno was taking place, putting things away and getting rid of yet more stuff. How many ratty old towels does a person need? It feels great to get our bedroom and closet back to normal after using them to store all things bathroom-related while the work was going on.

Gratitude Challenge

I started the Gratitude Challenge with a bang, posting nearly every day…but then bathroom chaos moved into overdrive and I got sick with a cold, and posting daily felt like Too Much. I missed some great prompts, so as I get back on track, I hope to mix in a couple of my favorites that I missed. There are still nine days left in November to refocus on gratitude. 

(Not) filling the void

After nearly three months without Tank, I haven’t found anything to truly fill the void—which doesn’t surprise me. I’m still missing him, grieving for the loss of his companionship and the peace and joy I found at the barn with horses and horse people. I’ve been to the barn a couple of times, but of course it’s still more heartbreaking than happy at this point. I really do miss being around horses, though, even if they’re not mine, and I’m making plans to go back regularly and befriend a few new residents there. I didn’t stop loving horses with Tank’s loss, and I don’t want to squander the horse connections I still have. Plus, the barn owner is my friend, and she’s so busy I won’t ever see her if I don’t go to the barn! 

What’s been happening in your life in November?

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

“I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”—Brene Brown

Despite the current chaos in my life—or perhaps because of it?—I decided to join in Positively Present’s annual Gratitude Challenge again. I’ve participated in some fashion every year since 2014, but the past couple of years, my posting has been erratic. This year I want to post more consistently, and so far, I’ve posted a picture and short reflection on Instagram every day. 

After this many years of participating, it’s challenging to find a fresh way of talking about what I’m grateful for. It’s not that I’m not grateful…it just feels like I’ve been saying the same thing over and over, because the things I’m most deeply grateful for don’t change. I don’t want to sound like I’m just parroting what I’ve said before, so I’m trying to think more deeply about each prompt. Even when I fall short of my desired originality or depth of thought, I remember that the words aren’t the most important thing (a hard admission for a writer): the gratitude is. And I welcome the chance to actively focus on what I’m grateful for.

If you want to participate, click here to read Positively Present’s prompts. You don’t need to post your thoughts publicly to benefit, but it is fun to see what everyone else shares (if you do share on social media, use #gratitude30 and tag me so I won’t miss your posts! I’m @kathyjohn335 on IG). You can find my posts on Instagram, and I will run a round-up of my favorites here on Catching Happiness at the end of the month or the beginning of December. 

Until then, what are you grateful for this week?

Everything knocked down

Last Monday, we started a complete main bathroom renovation, which means I won’t be able to indulge in hot bubble baths before bed (one of my favorite simple pleasures), and my most private spaces, my bedroom and bathroom, have been invaded by strangers. My dog doesn’t know what to think (she needs to bark a lot, but then maybe lick everyone???), and my peaceful days haven’t been very peaceful. The renovation is necessary (we had a leak inside a wall and the old tub was a death trap), and it will give us the chance to update the space and make it just what we want.  It’s going to be beautiful, but the process is messy, noisy, and disruptive. That’s what it takes to make a BIG change.

As you know, I’m a fan of baby steps to get where you want to go, but sometimes you have to knock everything down and start from scratch. 

Renovating a bathroom is not unlike renovating a life.

Right now, I’m standing in the rubble of my previous life as well as the rubble of my bathroom. I’ve racked up a lot of losses and big changes over the past few years, and a couple of those losses have impacted my identity—who I see myself as. I’m no longer a horse owner (though I still consider myself a horsewoman). I recently lost my freelance business’s last paying client (though I also still consider myself a writer). I moved from my home of 28 years into a much smaller place—no longer can we accommodate multiple overnight guests and big family get-togethers. Our hosting experiences will have to look different.

It’s a lot to absorb and perhaps I shouldn’t feel surprised that I don’t know where I want to go from here while feeling distressed by all the demolition! 

Unseen work

A lot of the work being done on the bathroom, such as plumbing and electrical, is essential but won’t be visible to the eye once the project is finished. Careful attention to the unseen and unglamorous details is necessary if you want the result to function well in the long term. It doesn’t matter how pretty your tile is if you have to rip it out to repair a leak or an electrical problem. I think of that the same way I think of the internal work I’m doing with myself. I’m currently in a place of reevaluation. Again. What do I want to do with my time? How can I best use the resources I have? And I can’t believe I’m asking this again, but who do I want to be?

And no matter how impatient I am to try out my new bathroom, I have to remember that big overhauls take time. Even when you dread living through the mess and inconvenience, it takes the time it takes, and rushing will only cause problems. If I dive into new commitments without the necessary foundational work, I may regret rushing into something that won’t be a good fit.

It also comforts me to realize that even when you do knock everything down and start over, the entire change doesn’t happen all at once. It occurs over the course of weeks or months and through many tiny decisions (my beloved baby steps again). A lot of thinking through choices happens, and little details get ironed out. Taking time to be thoughtful about these choices now will bring me happiness in years to come. Just as taking time to ponder my future direction may help ensure that it’s one I’m happy with for the long haul.

How can it be wonderful?

Sometimes the remodeling of a life comes about like the remodeling of a bathroom: because of an unexpected and/or unwanted event, like a leak in the wall. When you have to fix one thing, you may stop and look at everything. Is this the time to change it all up? How can it be wonderful, not just functional or patched together? Yes, you’ll have limits of time and money, but what is actually feasible in the space? In your life? Perhaps now is the time to dare to think bigger and better.

I’ll probably have a new bathroom before I have the answers to these questions, but at least I’ve started asking them.

Any big changes going on in your life? Drop a comment below if you want to share!

Photo by Svitlana on Unsplash

I’ve spent less time than usual online lately (unless you count shopping for bathroom fixtures—we’re renovating our main bathroom), but I do have a few little online treats for you today. Hope you find something here that brightens your day or makes you think (in a positive way)! Get cozy and dive in. 

Click here to learn how you can change your life (or at least make a few little changes) before 2026. 

Support your mental health with these simple pleasures. 

Thoughtful list of “10 Things We’ll Regret When We’re Older.” 

Since we’re entering “cozy season” soon (I hope), check out “This Is What “Cozy” Looks Like Around the World.” As the article says, “Seeing ‘coziness’ take on so many different forms shows this concept’s more about a mindset than an aesthetic.” 

I like Morgan Harper Nichols’ take on “creating an archive” rather than “getting inspired.” 

I’m technically a little older (ahem) than “midlife,” but I still feel like I’m learning these habits. 

I absolutely feel the pressure described below in “The Tension Between Rest and Living Fully” (one of my favorite quotes: “A full life isn’t the same as a full calendar.”)

Happy Friday, everyone!