My dog Scout will be 16 years old on Sunday, and as you might
expect, she has some health issues. One of them is that she can’t always sleep
through the night without having to relieve herself. Her bed is on a chair on
my side of the room, so I’m the one who hears her jump down, and I’m the one
who slips on her leash and takes her outside. Usually, I try not to wake up all
the way so that I’ll stand a chance of going back to sleep, but this morning,
at 2 a.m., I found myself looking up at the stars while I waited for Scout. The
air felt cool and fresh, Orion’s belt twinkled in the night sky. The
neighborhood was silent, peaceful. Scout was quick, and I returned to my warm
bed and quickly fell asleep. What could have been (and often is) an annoyance
turned into a moment of delight for me.
I’ve been working on going with the flow, relaxing my death
grip on life and paying more attention to little moments of delight when
they’re presented to me: when my favorite song comes on the radio, when Prudy
jumps up on my desk for some attention, when I grab my book and steal some
reading time in the afternoon. It’s easy to find delight in things like
that—not quite so easy to find delight when woken at 2 a.m., and I admit
that I’m more likely to complain about that situation than to recount how
lovely the stars look sparkling in the velvety darkness… Just this once, though,
I was able to let go and admire the night sky. It was unexpectedly delightful.
I’m not sure I would have found it so without my recent focus on delight. Which
goes to show, I guess, that you find more of what you focus on.
Introduction by Ted Kooser: Here’s a fine poem by
Heather Allen, a Connecticut poet who pays close attention to what’s right
under her feet. It may seem ordinary, but it isn’t.
I hope you had as pleasant a weekend as I did. My
mother-in-law came for an overnight visit, which gave me an excuse to drop my
usual routine and go with the flow. I don’t know about you, but I too often
become slave to my schedule and to-do list (out of fear that I’ll slack off and
get too far behind to catch up!) instead of staying in the moment and doing
what feels right. This weekend, I relaxed more, spent time talking with Mom and
followed my instincts regarding the things I did. Despite “losing” an hour to Daylight Saving Time, I ended up having
the most delight-ful weekend, as well as accomplishing the following:
Ate at a new local restaurant we’ve been meaning to try for
breakfast Sunday.
Repotted plants. A few of my orchids needed attention, and I
had a new rosemary plant to take out of its peat pot as well as some tiny basil
seedlings that needed transplanting.
Trimmed catnip leaves to dry for Prudy (and a few of my
friends who also have catnip-loving cats).
Cleaned and refilled the birdbath.
Refilled the squirrelbird feeder outside my office window.
Bathed Scout and washed her dog bed.
Took Prudy on a supervised wander in the back yard.
Picked some volunteer Florida Everglades tomatoes (and ate
them).
Watched an episode of The Gilmore Girls from a
library DVD while I planned my week.
Sorted through some old magazines, keeping the few pages I
wanted and letting the rest go.
So often it’s the little things, the simple pleasures, that
add up to happy days—both now and in the future. Even though I did only what I
felt like doing, I still got many things done. And I’ll enjoy the results, when
my orchids bloom, when we eat the fresh herbs, and when I watch the squirrels birds
on the feeder.
“The most empowered place we can be is not, ‘I’ve got it all
figured out.’ It is to be brave enough to ask the questions over and over, ‘What
am I not seeing that’s limiting me? What do I need to see that’s new for me?’
We’re afraid to ask that, because we’re worried about what we might have to
confront and deal with as a result. But that’s what frees us: facing what we
need to face, giving up what we need to give up, and being a yes for what’s
next.”
I’m determined to do a better job of living my word of the year in 2015—why not when it’s such a nice one? So I plan to review my progress
every month or so, and see how much delight I’m allowing into my life. Since I
am the “gatekeeper of delight,” so to speak, here are three ways I’m exploring
the concept:
Noticing
Instead of blindly rushing through my day, I have made
deliberate attempts to slow down both my movements and my thoughts so I can pay
better attention to the details. That first sip of coffee in the
morning—delicious! How relaxed and strong my body feels after yoga class. The
deep pleasure of climbing into bed at the end of the day. I’m blessed with more
delightful moments than I recognized.
Seeking
It can feel really selfish to seek out delight, but I am
letting go of the guilt feelings that arise when I “indulge” myself. Last
month, I made the mundane more delightful by picking up a cinnamon dolce latte
and a new book to read while I waited for an oil change. I played music every
chance I got—using my iPod while vacuuming and mopping and listening to Pandora
while working in my office. I’m also making sure I take short breaks during the
day, rewarding myself when I complete a task, especially if it’s one I don’t
enjoy. When faced with any choice now, the go-to question is, “Does this
delight me?”
Sharing
I’m also working on becoming more mindful of ways to share
delight with other people, through acts of kindness, thoughtful words, or
sharing something (book, movie, website, food!) that will bring pleasure to
someone else. There’s much delight in sharing delight!
So far, the first life lesson “delight” has given me is
this: It’s OK to enjoy my life. To take delight in simple pleasures and
everyday adventures. I don’t need to feel guilty or uncomfortable because I
have such a good life when so many people do not. It has been repeatedly
pointed out to me that my suffering or unhappiness doesn’t help anyone else. In
fact, it can add to the unhappiness of those who care about me. Instead, I dare
to feel more delight, more happiness, and to spread it to others every chance I
get.
Happy Friday! You know what that means: the weekend is
almost here. Time to play! If it’s too cold to play outside, or you just feel
like playing online instead, here’s a dose of Link Love. Enjoy!
This old (2013) post on Raptitude contains some solid common
sense. But like David, I don’t always live what I know. I’m looking at you,
number 10. For even more common sense advice, click here.
I already have too many hobbies, but I know people who are
looking for something new to try. If you’re one of them, check out Hobby Club. Every month, you’ll get
to try something new, and the cost is only $12 for the entire year!