Poetry

Bless Their Hearts

March 28, 2012

My mother and her sisters were experts at using faint praise, and “Bless her heart” was a very useful tool for them. Richard Newman, of St. Louis, does a great job here of showing us how far that praise can be stretched. [Introduction by Ted Kooser.]

Bless Their Hearts

At Steak ‘n Shake I learned that if you add
“Bless their hearts” after their names, you can say
whatever you want about them and it’s OK.
My son, bless his heart, is an idiot,
she said. He rents storage space for his kids’
toys—they’re only one and three years old!
I said, my father, bless his heart, has turned
into a sentimental old fool. He gets
weepy when he hears my daughter’s greeting
on our voice mail. Before our Steakburgers came
someone else blessed her office mate’s heart,
then, as an afterthought, the jealous hearts
of the entire anthropology department.
We bestowed blessings on many a heart
that day. I even blessed my ex-wife’s heart.
Our waiter, bless his heart, would not be getting
much tip, for which, no doubt, he’d bless our hearts.
In a week it would be Thanksgiving,
and we would each sit with our respective
families, counting our blessings and blessing
the hearts of family members as only family
does best. Oh, bless us all, yes, bless us, please
bless us and bless our crummy little hearts.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2009 by Richard Newman from his most recent book of poetry, Domestic Fugues, Steel Toe Books, 2009. Reprinted by permission of Richard Newman. Introduction copyright © 2012 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Change

Happy Little Changes

March 26, 2012

I’ve written here before about my dislike of change. However, in smaller matters, I do seem to like change, even seek it out. I’m frequently reading about ways to better organize my life, get more done and bring in more happiness.  

Recently, I’ve made several little changes that have made a happy difference in my life, and I thought you might be interested in them:

I began to actively manage my email. I have several email accounts for various reasons.  After reading the suggestion to “zero out your inbox,” I did just that with the one that gets the most messages. I read and discarded or printed emails, made email folders for some of the regular newsletters I receive and so on. Now, instead of being bombarded with 25 messages every time I open this account, I usually only have a few to deal with. I can easily see anything new or urgent. If I can’t deal with it immediately, I put it in the applicable folder and voila! Empty inbox. (And what a nice feeling that is.) I plan to do this with my other accounts, too.

I reorganized my recipes. Even though I’m not wild about cooking, my family has this pesky habit of wanting dinner every night. Despite the fact that I tend to make the same things over and over again, I had a huge collection of untried recipes as well as a big three-ring binder full of recipes we’ve tried and liked. My binder was old and tattered, and our tastes have changed, and clearly it was time to do something with this mess. I could never seem to find that new recipe I wanted to try when dinnertime rolled around. After seeing a couple of versions of recipe organization systems, I took an afternoon and evening to go through all my loose recipes, keeping the ones we either already like or definitely want to try, and throwing away all the rest.  Family favorites either went into page protectors or photo sleeves (depending on their size) and the untried recipes got tucked into a pocket divider at the beginning of the appropriate section of the new binder I found. I typed a master list of our favorite recipes and slipped it into the front of the binder as well.

Even though I don’t like cooking any better with this new system, at least I can find the recipes I want when it comes time to make them. (One thing I didn’t do that I wanted to was put the date on the untried recipes, and after six months or a year if I haven’t tried them, out they go. I’ll incorporate this with any new recipes I add.)

Before

After
I stopped writing “Morning Pages”…and started writing them again. Ever since I read Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, I’ve been writing “Morning Pages” every day (well, M-Fri.) Some days, that was the only actual writing I did. Day in, day out, three pages in long hand would pour (or dribble, depending on the day) into my composition notebooks. Every day began to sound the same (what I did yesterday, what I will do today…). I bored myself. I wasn’t getting the bubbling up of ideas I got when I first started writing Morning Pages, and frankly I was a little sick of them. So I quit writing them. Surprisingly, the Creative Police did not come and arrest me, and after a week or two, I found I missed them. I was at a loose end in the morning, drifting without anchor. One day I picked up my composition book again, and words poured forth. Now I’m back to writing Morning Pages most mornings, if not all.

I began Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Yoga Challenge, beginner level. Each day, I get an email with a link to a yoga routine and meditation, a challenge tip and a recipe (and yes, the Yoga Challenge has its own email folder). I’ve dabbled in yoga off and on for years, and wanted to add more yoga to my exercise routine because it makes me feel good. The longest video so far has been 35 minutes, so I’ve been able to fit them into my days fairly easily. Every morning I check the daily video to see how long it is and what time of day it would be best to do it—some of the routines are relaxing and some are invigorating. I’ve been surprised at exactly how difficult some of the poses and routines can be, even though they are labeled for beginners.

Finding a way to fit in an extra 15 to 30 minutes of exercise doesn’t seem like it would be too hard—but sometimes it is. I’ve figured out, though, that because it’s a “challenge,” I’ve taken it on as such, and really make an effort to do it every day. When I focus on getting it done, I find a way. (I’ve missed two days in the past two weeks.) I’m wondering what else I could “challenge” myself to do—maybe 15-30 minutes of extra writing every day? I think that’s doable!

None of these changes is anything very flashy or earth-shattering, but taken together, they’ve made my day-to-day life a little more pleasant.

What happy little changes have you made lately?

Humor

I Saw the Signs

March 23, 2012

Saw this sign on the back of a van when I was driving to the library (click to enlarge photos):

What, exactly, is the cargo, I wonder?
And this sign on the road leading to the barn:

Now that is something I'd like to see walking down the side of the road.
And this one on the back of a stroller at the mall:

Apparently there are there people who need this instruction.
The world is full of funny signs. Just type “funny signs” into your search engine if you want a good laugh.

What signs have you seen lately?

Quotes

Time to Wake Up

March 21, 2012


“The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”
—Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Randomness

All You Ever Wanted to Know About Me--And More

March 19, 2012

I enjoyed this post by Crazy Aunt Purl (Laurie Perry) from several years ago, and since she did tag “everyone on the planet,” here goes:

TEN random things you might not know about me:
  1. I taught myself to eat with my left hand when I was a teenager and still find myself doing so sometimes.
  2. I never met a scone I didn’t like.
  3. I know how to give intramuscular injections to a horse.
  4. I no longer have a gall bladder. (Too much information?)
  5. I was very into acting in high school and was the president of the Thespian Club. (One of my specialties was imitating Lily Tomlin’s character, Edith Ann.)
  6. I learned to drive in my mom’s electric blue Camaro (much to the envy of my son, who learned to drive in a Honda Accord).
  7. I write poetry.
  8. I love flea markets and antique stores.
  9. I’m hopelessly un-athletic.
  10. But I try anyway. Sometimes. If I feel like it. 
NINE places I’ve visited:
  1. New Orleans
  2. France
  3. Greece
  4. Yellowstone National Park
  5. Israel
  6. England
  7. Italy
  8. Alaska
  9. Washington, D.C.
 EIGHT ways to win my heart:
  1. Be kind.
  2. Feed me chocolate.
  3. Make me laugh.
  4. Be Hugh Jackman.
  5. Cook for me.
  6. Even better, clean for me!
  7. Talk to me, listen to me—connect with me.
  8. Did I mention chocolate?
 SEVEN things I want to do before I die:
  1. Visit Prince Edward Island.
  2. Read all the books on my to-be-read list. (I’d better live forever.)
  3. Learn another language.
  4. Write a book.
  5. Live for a few months in several different cities.
  6. Love my body.
  7. Find out where the moths in my pantry are coming from!
 SIX things I’m afraid of:
  1. Lightning.
  2. Losing the people I love.
  3. Wasting my opportunities.
  4. Contracting a debilitating disease.
  5. Pennsylvania sports fans.
  6. That the Hokey-Pokey is what it’s all about.
 FIVE things I don’t like:
  1. Uncomfortable shoes
  2. Bloviators (it’s a very descriptive word!)
  3. Talk radio (see “Bloviators”)
  4. White chocolate (come on, people, it’s not even chocolate!)
  5. Humidity
 FOUR ways to turn me off:
  1. Be cruel to a person or to an animal.
  2. Try to convince me that your opinion is right and mine is wrong.
  3. Try to manipulate me or make me feel guilty.
  4. Fail to understand my absolute and uncontrollable need to browse in every used book store I see.
 THREE things I do every day:
  1. Read.
  2. Laugh.
  3. Brush my teeth.
 TWO things that make me happy (only two?!):
  1. Solitude.
  2. Cuddling with my dog.
 ONE thing on my mind right now:
  1. Tablets vs. Netbooks vs. “Ultrabooks”—and do I really need any more technology!
Tag—you’re it! How are we the same? How are we different? What’s on your mind right now?