You know I love a good life lesson, and I’m not picky about where I pick it up—from my pets, from a tea bag, etc. My latest source? The TV program Once Upon a Time.

If you’re not familiar with it, Once Upon a Time is set in the fictional town of Storybrooke, Maine. During the first season, we learned that the residents are characters from fairy tales (such as Snow White, Prince Charming, Rumplestiltskin, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and so on) who had been brought to the “real world” and robbed of their memories by a curse cast by the Evil Queen Regina. The townspeople had lived in Storybrooke for 28 years, without being aware of their true identities (or even of their own lack of aging) until a character named Emma Swan broke the curse and restored the residents’ memories. Turns out Emma was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming who had been sent into the real world as an infant before the curse was cast. Emma is also the birth mother of Henry, adopted son of Regina, and it is Henry who brings Emma to Storybrooke in the first place.

And from there on it only gets more complicated.

At first I didn’t like it that the writers kept adding more and more characters from every possible tale…Dr. Frankenstein made a brief appearance, as did the Mad Hatter and Pinocchio (the newest additions are Anna and Elsa from Frozen.) Once I let go of any possible logic and went with the fantasy flow, I found the show more enjoyable as pure entertainment. And then I began to realize that it actually contained some excellent life lessons. For instance:

Magic has a price. This is most often said by Rumplestiltskin. Characters are always trying to make deals with him and each other to get what they want, often with terrible consequences. For me, this means that shortcuts to what you want come with a cost, usually a high one.

No one is all evil or all good. The backstories of the “evil” characters all feature some type of trauma or tragedy that helps to send them down the wrong path. I’m not excusing them their evil deeds, of course, but it’s a good reminder to condemn actions and have empathy for the people who commit them. Another positive point of the show is that characters are frequently offered the choice to do right or do wrong. To put it simplistically, it’s their choices and actions that make them good or evil. Oddly enough, my favorite character on the show is Regina, the evil queen who cast the curse that started it all. While she’s certainly done more than her share of evil deeds, she’s also been through a great deal of suffering and heartache. She’s also done good things—by all accounts she was a loving mother to Henry, and she’s joined with the other townspeople to fight this season’s new villain. She’s continually being crossed in love, and I really want her to find the happy ending she’s seeking. On the other hand, Snow White, who is mostly pure and good, killed Regina’s evil mother, Cora, thus blackening her own heart just a bit. It’s so easy for us to want everything to be clearly black and white—we forget that people, especially, are not that way.

We must accept ourselves and what we’re capable of. Some of the characters in the show have magic powers, including Emma. Emma has imperfect control over her power, and nearly gave it up. She’s coming to realize that it’s not enough to receive acceptance from others. She also has to accept herself before she can feel truly whole (and control that pesky magic). We often think that we won’t feel good about ourselves until we are accepted by others—but sometimes it’s the other way around. Accepting ourselves for who we are is just as important, if not more so, than receiving acceptance from others.

I admit that I may be the only person who is drawing life lessons from the frothy concoction that is Once Upon a Time. That’s OK with me. I like my life lessons to come to me lightly rather than hammer me over the head. How about you?

Last Friday, Laure Ferlita and I rose before the crack of dawn to trek out to Mount Dora, FL, where Renninger’s was hosting an “Antique and Collectors Extravaganza.” This popular 3-day event attracts vendors from all over the country, and many thousands of visitors. We wanted to be there when it opened so we could cover as much ground as possible. 

It was a gray and drizzly day, which kept a few of the more casual buyers away early. By late morning, the sun had come out and by the end of the day, we were glad of the trees shading many of the booths. (Florida may not have traditional seasons, but we like to pack as many weather changes into one day as we can.)

Laure is an experienced Renninger visitor, but it was my first time. I was astonished by the sheer volume of antiques and collectibles—including antique and vintage furniture, art, jewelry, collectible glass, porcelain, sterling silver, architectural pieces and much more. We wandered the aisles, admiring, questioning the wisdom of, laughing, drinking in the sights and sounds, generally filling the inspiration well with a complete change of pace from our usual routine. (We also ate mini donuts—they weren’t beignets, but still pretty tasty! We had to keep our strength up, after all.)

My only purchases were three of these spools:

…and a copy of A.A. Milne’s The House at Pooh Corner. However, I was mightily tempted by some Beatrix Potter figurines (which I unfortunately did not get a picture of) and hope one day to start a little collection of them.

I did collect a few things that were not things that day, including:

Altogether, a most satisfactory field trip.

“Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.”

—Stanley Horowitz

Ready for some Web surfing? Grab your wetsuit and dive in!

Read Laura Vanderkam’s suggestions for reclaiming your free time when other people want you to do something for or with them in “When Other People Eat Your Time.”

“What is enough for me?” Jennifer Louden’s post “Conditions of Enoughness, or the Art of Building Your Truer Life,” explains four steps in creating boundaries in your life. Learn to train “the hounds of more”—I love that phrase!

This artist collaborates with her young daughter to create paintings. She says it helps her to “move out of her comfort zone, … relinquish control and think creatively.” How much fun would that be?

Make way for joy and contentment when you discover “The Art of a Distraction Free Life.”

Life lessons from Taylor Swift, via Dani Dipirro of Positively Present. Somewhat to my surprise, several resonated with me.

Calm the stress response with these mantras from Always Well Within.

A recipe for ice—the comments are the best part. 

And if you truly have too much time on your hands, find out what your name would be if you were a cat here. My name would be Doctor Sassy McMittens. So from now on, I expect to be addressed as Doctor. You’re welcome.

Introduction by Ted Kooser: Joe Paddock is a Minnesota poet and he and I are, as we say in the Midwest, “of an age.” Here is a fine poem about arriving at a stage when there can be great joy in accepting life as it comes to us.

One’s Ship Comes In

I swear

my way now will be

to continue without

plan or hope, to accept

the drift of things, to shift

from endless effort

to joy in, say,

that robin, plunging

into the mossy shallows

of my bird bath and

splashing madly till

the air shines with spray.

Joy it will be, say,

in Nancy, pretty in pink

and rumpled T-shirt,

rubbing sleep from her eyes, or

joy even in

just this breathing, free

of fright and clutch, knowing

how one’s ship comes in

with each such breath.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation  www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2009 by Joe Paddock from his most recent book of poetry, “Dark Dreaming, Global Dimming,” Red Dragonfly Press, 2009. Reprinted by permission of Joe Paddock and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2011 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Kindness is today’s 30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge prompt, and this Thursday, Nov. 13, is World Kindness Day so kindness is on my mind. Even though I really value kindness and aspire to be kind, I’m not always aware of what I can do to spread kindness. After a little thought and some quick internet research, I found quite a few simple, inexpensive suggestions I can follow to create some ripples and make the world a kinder place. Here are 10 of my favorites: 

1. Smile and look into the eyes of the grocery store cashier.

2. Pick up trash.

3. If you regularly visit a blog and enjoy it, leave a comment. A simple, “enjoyed your post,” is all you need. (Bloggers appreciate kindness the way resurrection ferns appreciate rain.)

4. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Remember the words of the Egyptian philosopher Philo, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

5. Allow someone to go in front of you, in traffic or in line.

6. Share a store coupon. Some stores offer coupons for X amount of dollars off a minimum purchase. If you’re not going to use yours, find someone in line who looks like he or she has enough merchandise to meet the minimum amount necessary. (This suggestion came from my kind mother-in-law.)

7. Write a note (or send a post card), by hand, add a stamp and mail it. It will make someone’s day to receive “real” mail rather than junk or bills.

8. Donate old towels to an animal shelter or rescue.

9. Pay a toll or buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you.

10. Think before you speak. Even so-called “jokes” can hurt someone who is sensitive.

And don’t forget to be kind to yourself. It’s a lot easier to be kind to others when you practice on yourself!

I’m encouraged to see that there are more and more organizations devoted to promoting kindness, including The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, One Million Acts of Kindness and Choose to Be Nice. Perhaps one day the kind people will outnumber the trolls and meanies.

No matter how happy we are, most of us would like to be just a little happier. Good news for us—there are plenty of things we can do to feel happier every day that only take a few minutes. Researchers have found a number of quick and easy happiness boosters, such as playing music that makes you feel happy, writing down things that went well and/or things you’re grateful for, or doing something nice for someone else. Here are five more 10-minutes-or-less happiness-boosting recommendations I’ve tried that bring my happiness level up a notch:

1. Cross something off the to-do list. We’re happier when we’ve achieved something, no matter how small. Choose one small task to take from start to finish (change that burnt out light bulb), or a smaller part of a larger project (check airfares for that trip you’re thinking of taking). What matters is completing the action.

2. Meditate. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe. If you like, you can imagine a calming image or place, or focus on your breath. If you find yourself stewing about problems or mentally running through your to-do list, notice those thoughts and let them go. Tell yourself, “I’ll think about those things later.”

3. Laugh. Keep on hand a supply of things that make you laugh—reading material, favorite internet links (I like to scroll through Pinterest’s humor category), and so on. A quick laugh can leave your entire mood elevated. 

4. Pet an animal. Doing so lowers heart rate and stress hormones, while raising hormones that make you feel more relaxed and happy. Scout, Prudy and Tank take turns making me feel happier!

C'mon, pet my tummy...

5. Look through a “joy collection.” I keep a file folder with letters and cards from people I love, photocopies of checks received for writing and editing jobs, and photos that make me smile. Don’t have a joy collection? Start one. Fill it with things that trigger happy memories, such as favorite photos, awards, mementoes, and other symbols of happiness for you.

According to a growing amount of positive psychology research, there seems to be a link between gratitude and happiness. Those with an attitude of gratitude are generally a happier and healthier lot (you can read about more of the benefits of gratitude here: “10 Reasons Why Gratitude is Healthy”). I want to be happier and healthier, and my attitude of gratefulness is one thing I can influence, so why not do some experimenting? I’m ashamed to admit though I have much to be grateful for, I often focus on what I want but don’t have.

With that in mind, in November I’m participating in Dani Dipirro’s (Positively Present) “30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge.” Every day on Facebook, I will post a photo and brief description of something I’m grateful for, using the prompts she’s provided. I’m doing this for two reasons: First, I do really want to focus on what I’m grateful for. Second, I want to see if I can do something for 30 days straight! I have a bad habit of tearing off all gung ho for a project and quickly losing steam. It’s time I built some stick-to-it muscles. What better way than becoming more mindful of what I’m grateful for?

Today’s prompt is “Dream”—what we dream of, both literally or in the abstract; recurring dreams; what we daydream about.  I could easily have slapped a photo of Tank here and called it a day, because he’s a significant dream come true that I’m grateful for. However, I already posted a photo of him on day one (“Beauty”) and I’d rather not turn this project into a photo album of Tank pictures. Instead, I sat for a few minutes thinking about other dreams I’ve had that have come true, and those still just out of my reach.

What I decided to post today: I’m grateful for the chance to fulfill my desire to write.

Essentially, I’ve been a writer since high school when a creative writing teacher named Marie Tollstrup taught me how to harness the words swirling in my head and shape them into various forms of prose and poetry. I’ve worked as a writer (and editor) full time, part time and freelance my whole adult life. At times I’ve made enough to support myself, and others I’ve made little to nothing. I have been able to spend hours reading and writing and exploring and playing with words, starting pieces and throwing them away, filing them for the future, submitting them for others’ perusal. I haven’t always made the most of my opportunities, whether through fear or distraction or laziness, but I have had the luxury of trying.

If you want to see what else I’m grateful for, you can do so on my Facebook page (click on my Facebook link on the left side of this blog. If we’re not already friends, send me a friend request.) I will also be writing more posts on this challenge on Catching Happiness, but not every day.  And if this sounds like something you want to do, too, please join in! The original challenge can be found at Positively Present, “30-Day Gratitude Photo Challenge: 2014 Edition.”

In the course of cleaning out a closet recently, I found a box of keepsakes from high school. It was educational, to say the least. This box contained treasures such as:

I spent a few happy hours reconstructing my high school days, cringing and blushing at times, surprised at others by how similar my writing voice now is to that of my 17-year-old self.

I had fun reconnecting with the girl I used to be. The exuberance, the highs and lows, the enthusiasm and hunger for life. That girl was easily cast down and just as easily sent soaring. It was in high school that I began to be able to negotiate around my shyness, finding pursuits I loved (writing, drama, tennis) and participating in life on my own terms. It was here that the seeds of who I am today were sown.

Looking at my picture and reading my words, I see a vibrancy that I wish I still had. In comparison, I’ve become muted by life and responsibility, even though that responsibility was taken on willingly and happily: building an adult life, working, raising a child. I see a more refined version of my 17-year-old self in the mirror today—some of the rough edges knocked off, the fears calmed, the goals achieved. What remains is hope for the future, curiosity about what’s next, excitement about what that might be—and yes, a little bit of fear as well. I have learned that fear is normal, and nothing to be, well, feared.

My life now is starting, in small and subtle ways, to have the same sense of possibility I felt at 17. My child is (almost) grown up, I’m settled in my home, I know how to cook and clean, I can pay bills and run my life efficiently. Most of the things I wondered and worried about have come and gone and I can turn my concentration to new possibility. What will the next 10 years hold? I see my journals (not to mention my blog posts!) asking this question. Wondering what the next adventure(s) will be. Wanting to have adventures, everyday and otherwise.

I remember what it felt like to listen to music and dream about the future. I still do that, only now I’m in my home office listening to my iTunes library instead of in my bedroom listening to a turntable. I still jot poetry in a notebook, write in my journal. My future is a bit blurry, as it was then. I’m more deliberate in my choice of opportunities to pursue now, because I have a better idea of what I like and don’t like, what I can excel in. I no longer have adults telling me what to do; I am learning to listen to my voice, because now I have experience and wisdom of my own. I want to incorporate my 17-year-old self’s enthusiasm into my current life, temper her fears with my maturity, and build a future me that combines all the best parts of us. 

Introduction by Ted Kooser: Here’s a lovely poem for this lovely month, by Robert Haight, who lives in Michigan.

Early October Snow

It will not stay.

But this morning we wake to pale muslin

stretched across the grass.

The pumpkins, still in the fields, are planets

shrouded by clouds.

The Weber wears a dunce cap

and sits in the corner by the garage

where asters wrap scarves

around their necks to warm their blooms.

The leaves, still soldered to their branches

by a frozen drop of dew, splash

apple and pear paint along the roadsides.

It seems we have glanced out a window

into the near future, mid-December, say,

the black and white photo of winter

carefully laid over the present autumn,

like a morning we pause at the mirror

inspecting the single strand of hair

that overnight has turned to snow.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2013 by Robert Haight from his most recent book of poems, Feeding Wild Birds, Mayapple Press, 2013. (Lines two and six are variations of lines by Herb Scott and John Woods.) Poem reprinted by permission of Robert Haight and the publisher. Introduction copyright 2014 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Perhaps I need to have less before I can have more. I’d like to think all this decluttering serves a purpose larger than just having my home look neater. I choose to think that getting rid of what no longer serves me makes room for the new. And I’m not talking about new things. Perhaps, less burdened by too much and too many (things and thoughts), the inside of my head will be a bit neater as well. For now, I’m focused on getting rid of.

I’m not sure what that something new I’m making room for looks like. I have to have faith that if I do make room, if I do simplify and purge and organize, then I’ll be ready when my opportunities come, when everyday adventure knocks on my door.

Some places resonate with me—they feel like old friends, even the first time I visit them. One such place for me is Turtle Bay Exploration Park (TBEP) in Redding, California. When I visit my family, it’s one of the places I always want to go back to—what better place to share with you as a Field Trip Friday?

TBEP is 300-acre “gathering place” divided into north and south “campuses,” separated by the Sacramento River and connected by Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava’s Sundial Bridge. In addition to the bridge, there is a museum, a forestry and wildlife center, and an arboretum and botanical gardens. The complex houses approximately 800 plant species/cultivars and 225 animals. Here’s a brief description of each of the major components:

McConnell Arboretum and Botanical Gardens

The 20 acres of water-wise gardens here represent the world’s five Mediterranean climate zones: Southwest Australia, South Africa, California, Chile and the Mediterranean Basin. The plants share survival adaptations that enable them to thrive in climate conditions with warm/hot dry summers and rainy winters, and all require moderate to low water usage. The gardens are divided into several areas, including a Children’s Garden, Perennial Companions Display Garden, Butterfly Garden, Medicinal Garden and the Pacific Rim Garden. Mosaic features and fountains are scattered throughout the gardens. This is my favorite area of the TBEP—lots of places to sketch, take pictures, or simply sit and enjoy the gardens. I didn’t sketch while I was there, but did take some pictures:

Sounds of Water by Betsy Damon

Mosaic fountain, part of Mosaic Oasis, by Colleen Barry

Earthstone, by Colleen Barry

Detail from Earthstone

Museum and Forest Camp

Paul Bunyan’s Forest Camp is a popular destination for children. It includes a playground; the Parrot Playhouse, a year-round lorikeet aviary; Wildlife Woods; a seasonal Butterfly House and an amphitheater where daily educational shows take place. There are lots of hands-on activities for kids, and this is where you’ll find the animals. Though we never found the newest addition, a young bobcat (she was being used in a presentation that we missed), we did see a porcupine, a couple of raptors and a beautiful red fox.

The museum houses several permanent and interactive exhibits focusing on local and regional history, as well as traveling exhibits. When we were there, so was Toytopia, an exploration of the past century of toy making. We saw the world’s largest Etch-A-Sketch (more than eight feet tall—and I didn’t take a picture!), a retro arcade with games like Tron and Donkey Kong, building areas for kids with Lego and Lincoln Logs, and toys from the early 1900s onward.

Sundial Bridge

This beautiful bridge is indeed a sundial, though the shadow of its 217-foot-tall pylon is only completely accurate once a year, on the summer solstice. Opened July 4, 2004, the Sundial Bridge is also a downtown entrance for Redding’s Sacramento River Trail system, a 35-mile long trail that extends along both sides of the river, connecting the bridge to the Shasta Dam. Made of steel, glass and granite, it’s 700 feet long and 23 feet wide. No vehicles are allowed on the bridge, and it’s an easy stroll across the river. When we were there, we saw men fly fishing on one side of the river, and Canada Geese bobbing and floating on the other side.

Sacramento River--see the teeny fishermen?

If you’re ever in the Redding area, the Turtle Bay Exploration Park is well worth the visit. There is no admission charge to walk over the Sundial Bridge and down the Sacramento River Trail, but you do have to pay to enter the botanical gardens, museum and forestry camp. If I lived in this area, I’d like to think I’d often be found here, though you know how that is. We don’t always use and appreciate the simple pleasures and everyday adventures we have available to us. (When was the last time I was at the USF Botanical Gardens, for instance?)

Where have your wanderings taken you lately?

Photo courtesy Sanja Gjenero

Friday, October 24 marks the 11th annual Take Back Your Time Day. How will you take charge of your time?