Busy-ness

One Happy Thing

September 30, 2019


“Why do they always teach us that it’s easy and evil to do what we want and that we need discipline to restrain ourselves? It’s the hardest thing in the world to do what we want, and it takes the greatest kind of courage.”
—Ayn Rand

Do you agree or disagree with this quote?

For the most part, I agree, though I know different personality types may not have as much trouble embracing enjoyment as I do. I mostly feel like I have to “get everything else done” before I can have fun.

While we were on vacation, our pattern was to get up fairly early and explore all day, then find our lodging and have an early night. Every night, we had several hours to do what we liked. I noticed that in the evenings when we were tucked into our hotel rooms, I had a hard time settling down to relax. I’d write in my trip journal, plan the next day’s activities, then read or sketch. No kitchen to clean up, no laundry to fold, or writing project to take one more look at. It took me several days to feel comfortable with the added pleasure of a free evening after spending all day engaged in the happy activities of exploring new places. Maybe because I went from one extreme to another. The past few weeks at home have been long on work and short on happiness.

I don’t want to fall into that pattern again, so I’m instituting a new practice. Each week, I’m going to schedule “One Happy Thing”—something that I will do strictly for my own pleasure. This week it’s “ride Tank” (he’s so much better he can be ridden at the walk!). Next week, it might be “have a pumpkin spice latte,” or “watch a movie on Netflix you’ve been meaning to see.” I’m writing it into a specific space in my planner, alongside “pay bills, return library books, and work on writing projects.” Otherwise, it might not get done, because it’s just too easy to put off pleasure when things get busy (and when aren’t things busy?). 

While I enjoy at least 90 percent of my work, now I’ll have something to look forward to intended strictly for pleasure, no matter how busy my week. One happy thing. How hard can that be?

Do you find it hard to do what you enjoy? Do you put off pleasure until everything else is done? 

Field Trip Friday

Field Trip Friday—Flume Gorge, Robert Frost, and Mt. Washington

September 27, 2019

Covered bridge over the Pemigewasset River, Flume Gorge

My husband and I just returned from a 10-day trip through New Hampshire and Maine—a trip intended in part to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary…which happened almost three years ago. I know, there’s something wrong with us.

The trip was worth the wait, and came at just the right time to provide some much-needed rejuvenation for us both. I’ll share a few of our experiences and pictures here on Catching Happiness over the next few weeks—so let's get started!

Our first day was one of our busiest and most exhausting—but also one of the best! We had driven up to stay in Lincoln, NH, the day we arrived so we could get an early start. The plan was to do a hike or two, then drive up to Mt. Washington.

Flume Gorge

Our first stop was Flume Gorge in the Franconia Notch State Park. We hiked a two-mile loop through the gorge and back to the visitor’s center. Lots of ups and downs and stairs and it felt longer than two miles to our Florida legs, but it was well worth the effort, as you can see.







The Pool in the Pemigewasset River--40 feet deep, 150 feet wide, surrounded by 130-foot cliffs


See how the water has carved the rocks?

Tree roots: nature finds a way...


According the park literature, Flume Gorge is a natural gorge extending 800 feet at the base of Mt. Liberty. The granite walls rise to 70 to 90 feet, and are 12 to 20 feet apart. It was discovered in 1808 by 93-year-old “Aunt” Jess Guernsey when she stumbled upon it while she was fishing! She at first had a hard time convincing anyone else to come see her discovery. Can’t you just see her family saying, “Oh, that’s just Grandma’s active imagination. She couldn’t possibly have found anything like what she described.”

In the footsteps of Robert Frost

I discovered while researching our trip that from 1915-1920, Robert Frost lived just 15 minutes away from Flume Gorge in a farmhouse that is open to the public. For a $5 fee, you can enter the house itself, and you can sit on the porch or explore the ¼ mile “poetry trail” for free. I went inside of course, while my husband enjoyed the view from the porch. Then we both walked the short trail through the woods. I was struck by the simplicity of the rooms and peace of the surroundings. I have my own office in a much larger home, and it made me want to go home and dispose of half of my belongings. And also reacquaint myself with Frost’s poetry.

Goosebumps




Reproduction lap desk where Frost wrote

The view from the porch

The Frosts' bedroom


On the poetry trail


On top of Mt. Washington

Next we drove the Kancamagus Highway to Mt. Washington. “The Kanc” is one of the most scenic drives in the U.S., particularly in fall when the leaves have turned. We were too early in the season for fall foliage color, but the drive was still beautiful. We stopped at several places just to look around. 



Our final stop of the day was Mt. Washington, where we drove ourselves to the summit on the Auto Road—and we have the bumper sticker to prove it. Mt. Washington is the highest peak in the northeastern U.S. at 6288 feet, and boasts of having “the world’s worst weather”—and they are not wrong.  When we were on the summit, the temperature was 38 degrees, with winds gusting to 72 mph. The drive up is, frankly, terrifying, because there are no guardrails and sheer drops only inches from the road itself.

The view from Mt. Washington





And that, folks, was just our first day! The rest of the trip wasn’t quite so ambitious, thank goodness. 

Come back next week for the adventures of Catching Happiness in Maine!

Fall

Fall Rerun--Treat Yo'self: 25 Simple Pleasures to Brighten Your Day

September 23, 2019

It’s the first first day of fall, and I’m enjoying some time off from blogging. This post, from Sept. 2016, is still one of my favorites. Do you have any simple pleasures you can add to the list?


I recently participated in Sarah Jenks’ Live More Challenge. For two weeks, I put more thought into what would make life more delicious, what would feed my life (rather than just my body), and for two weeks I noticed a genuine lightening of my spirits. I looked forward to each day’s challenge. I also learned that living more required planning, and I need to make time for fun every day. (You can see my Live More posts if you follow me on Instagram.)  

While this may sound frivolous in the face of this world’s tragedies, I’ve learned that my being unhappy will not make this world safer or better. My being happy, however, just might rub off on those around me, and help someone else feel better, too. So with that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of 25 simple pleasures for us to try. Won’t you join me?

1. Instead of a blaring alarm clock, wake up to music, nature sounds, or something else that pleases your ear.

2. Call a friend—or (gasp!) write a letter.

3. Take a nap (I won’t tell). 

4. Crank up some music. Choose music from the time you were happiest for an extra boost. 

5. Clean or declutter a drawer or shelf.

6. Bake something and share with a friend or neighbor.

7. Read, sketch, or simply people watch at a coffee shop. If you’re into pumpkin spice lattes, now’s the time to order one! 

8. Go picking—find an orchard or farm that hosts you pick opportunities and fill a basket or bag with fresh produce.

9. Finish a project. Whether it’s a bathroom update or an art project, fixing something that’s broken, or mending an item of clothing.

10. Buy one perfect treat (cupcake, scone, handmade chocolate, glass of wine, etc.). Consume it without any distractions and enjoy every mouthful.

11. Buy or collect fresh flowers. Find a place to put them where the cat won’t eat them. (Or is this a problem only I have?)

12. Schedule a field trip to explore someplace new. Or revisit a place you love—your choice.

13. Perform an anonymous act of kindness.

14. Look the cashier (or the server, or the librarian) in the eye and smile.

15. You know that pile of magazines you’ve been meaning to read? Grab it and curl up in bed for a couple of hours.

16. Take a walk in your neighborhood with your camera or phone. Take photos of your favorite places and things—anything that grabs your attention. 

17. Sit comfortably for 10 minutes and do nothing. (It’s harder than it sounds.)

18. Take a class, in person or online. Choose something you’ve always wanted to try. Some fun ones I’ve come across: soap making, altered journals, aromatherapy, wine making. Of course, I highly recommend my friend Laure’s art classes.

19. Drink a cold glass of water. You’ll be refreshed and energized—just watch out for brain freeze.

20. Tell someone a joke.

21. Sip a hot cup of tea, coffee, or cocoa.

22. Rewatch your favorite movie. Maybe even eat some popcorn.

23. Sit outside, close your eyes and listen. See if you can identify five different sounds.

24. Groom your dog/cat/rabbit/ferret/horse. Give him or her treats and extra love. I still miss my dog so much, so be sure you enjoy them while you have them. 

25. Put fresh sheets on the bed and get in bed early to read.

So go forth and treat yo’self. Life should be enjoyed, not just endured!

I’ve listed only a few simple pleasures. What can you add to this list?

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”
—Dr. Sonya Friedman

Alain de Botton

New Places, New Thoughts

September 20, 2019

Photo by Balazs Busznyak on Unsplash

“Journeys are the midwives of thought. Few places are more conducive to internal conversations than a moving plane, ship or train. There is an almost quaint correlation between what is in front of our eyes and the thoughts we are able to have in our heads: large thoughts at times requiring large views, new thoughts new places. Introspective reflections which are liable to stall are helped along by the flow of the landscape. The mind may be reluctant to think properly when thinking is all it is supposed to do.”
—Alain de Botton


Summer

Wrapping Up Summer

September 16, 2019

Photo by Jade Seok on Unsplash

Do you smell it? Pumpkin spice is in the air! Summer is about to give way to fall—at least in my imagination. Time to wrap up summer and move on to my favorite season, fall. Despite the recent turmoil, it wasn’t such a bad summer. I checked off most things on my Summer Fun List (completed items highlighted in red):

  • Read by the pool
  • Attend yoga classes at Karma (no affiliation) while our circuit training class teacher is off having a baby 
  • Schedule a massage
  • Create and read from a Summer Reading List (post to come about this)
  • Escape for a beach weekend with my husband

As far as my Summer Reading List goes, here are the books I specifically mentioned, finished titles again highlighted in red:


Mansfield Park, Jane Austen.


Ride with Your Mind, Mary Wanless.


The Foundling, Georgette Heyer.


Also of note:

I went on a Lucy Knisley graphic memoir binge (my favorite was either Kid Gloves or Something New)

Read or skimmed several books by Alexandra Stoddard

Revisited Agatha Christie’s The Tuesday Club Murders (first appearance of Miss Marple)

This summer has felt long and hot and impossibly difficult at times, but things are looking up. Problems are resolving. Work is coming my way that is helping to pay for the recent horse and car expenses. When you read this, my husband and I will be road tripping in New England. I’m so grateful for all the good in my life, and all the kind words and thoughts you’ve shared with me. I’m breathing big sighs of relief, and actually looking forward to what comes next.

I hope your summer was just what you wanted it to be. What was your favorite moment? Any simple pleasures or everyday adventures you’d care to share in the comments below?

In other news, click here to read my article, “Tantalizing Tallahassee: A Tampa resident’s visit to Florida’s State Capital!”

People

Meeting Awesome People

September 13, 2019

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

“I know it sounds like a cliché but you do get to meet some awesome people traveling around the world. There's so much negativity in the press, but doing what I do makes you realize that 99.9 percent of people on the planet are really decent people. We just tend to concentrate on the small percentage who aren’t.”
—Will Hide, travel writer

My husband and I are about to go on a long overdue and much needed vacation together, and we expect we’ll be meeting awesome people while we're away. I’ve set up some posts for Catching Happiness while I'm gone, but purposefully, I'm limiting my access to email and comments. Have a happy couple of weeks, everyone!


Happiness

Double Nickels

September 09, 2019

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

This week I’m celebrating a milestone birthday—55—“double nickels,” as they say. I wanted to write a post like, “55 Things I’ve Learned in 55 Years,” or even just share a few nuggets o’ wisdom with you. 

Well, I would if I could.

Instead, what I’ve learned over the past couple of months is that I still have so much to learn! That even at the mature age of 55, I make dumb mistakes, feel at a loss when faced with certain problems, and that the depth of my resources for coping with a series of mishaps and inconveniences is not as robust as I would like it to be.

All good things to learn, if a bit humbling. Does that happen to you? Just when you feel like you have a handle on life, it all goes catawampus?

For too long, worry, stress, and frustration have been my frequent companions.  If you read August’s Happy Little Thoughts newsletter, you know that Tank has been having a problem that could become quite serious, our truck died and needed a new engine, and this weekend my car had to have an expensive repair. Oh, and the reason this post is going up after 7 p.m.? My laptop keeps crashing every time I type a few letters into my word processing program.

I have been trying (oh, how I've been trying) to allow simple pleasures and everyday adventures to shore up my happiness during these difficult times. What has helped most is knowing that these frustrations have a shelf life. The vehicles will, eventually, both be fixed. Tank has been improving and seems out of danger. Some personal stuff will also eventually resolve. What I need to do is pay attention, be present, and act with maturity. I’m doing my best. 

And that's not a bad lesson to learn, no matter what your age: do your best. Assume everyone else is doing the same. And, as someone once said,  “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

What is one of the most valuable things you've learned in your years of living?



Aristotle

One Brief Time of Happiness

September 06, 2019

Photo courtesy lucasphotography from Pixabay

“One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day; similarly one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.”
—Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics 

Animals

Labor Day Weekend Link Love

August 30, 2019

We’ll be keeping a close eye on the progress of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. It’s not supposed to reach us until Monday, and as I write this, we don’t yet know where it will make landfall. Some models show it crossing from the Atlantic over us into the Gulf of Mexico, so keep Florida in your thoughts. Other than last-minute hurricane preparations, this weekend we’re expecting a visit from my mother-in-law, celebrating our son’s birthday, and my husband and I are attempting to repair something on my car—wish us luck! I might do some baking—maybe chocolate chip cookies or some type of muffin. We’ll see.

Just in case you have some free time on your hands this weekend (a three-day holiday weekend for most of us in the U.S.), here are a few items of interest I’ve come across recently. Enjoy!

“How to Manage Your Energy to Get More Done” was a timely read for me, as I’ve been dragging lately. Going to pay more attention to renewing my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy.  

Have you ever tried to “Follow Your Jealousy”? As Sheila Devi writes, “Jealousy tells you what you want more of. What if you listened to it?”

Check out Modern Mrs. Darcy’s “Rom-Com Syllabus” if you’re looking for something fun and light to watch over this long weekend. There are some great additional suggestions in the comments, too.

This long essay by Roy F. Baumeister examines the differences and similarities between happiness and a meaningful life.

I totally understand and identify with “Pet owners share 55 hilarious rules their animals have made.” The animals are clearly in charge.

What do you think about research that shows that trying to be happy can result in feeling less happy? “Quit Doing 1 Thing Today, and Science Says You’ll Feel a Lot Happier (It's Counterintuitive)” is worth a read.

This is an oldie, but still hilarious. My husband showed this to me again this week, so I hunted it up on YouTube for you:



May you have a safe, relaxing, and happy Labor Day weekend!

Fallow time

Fallow Time

August 26, 2019

Photo courtesy Alfred Borchard via FreeImages

Our backyard has grown from oasis to jungle after months of rain and sun. My husband has had his hands full keeping the bird feeders and birdbath cleaned and filled, and collecting all the debris that falls into the yard from the trees (sticks, Spanish moss) and trimming out the most obvious dead stuff. He hasn’t had time for pruning or puttering around for pleasure, and it’s still too hot to plant. Right now, in many ways, we’re holding on, waiting for a change in the season, or at least a lessening of the heat and humidity enough to allow new things to sprout.

In gardening, as in life, there are times for planting, weeding, pruning, and harvesting. There are fallow times.

In the US, I don’t think we allow ourselves enough of this fallow time. Instead, we tend to fill every free minute with noise—whether it’s actual noise from the TV, radio, or a podcast, or “noise” from the written word. We don’t give ourselves time for our own thoughts to wander where they may. At least I know I don’t, because my own thoughts are often full of worry or fear.

I’ve been weeding and pruning and getting rid of the most obvious dead stuff, otherwise known as purging. Pulling books off shelves, throwing away or shredding file folders of outdated papers, sorting through my clothes, putting closets and shelves in order. Taking everything off my desk and cleaning it thoroughly. Getting ready for fall’s cooler temperatures and generally higher energy levels, when I’ll be capable of planting again.

But before that, during this last week of August, I need some fallow time. Maybe only an hour or two here and there, to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling, or to rock in my glider rocker while acoustic guitar music plays and I stare out my office window. To sit propped up in bed with my journal and pen in hand.

The past 12 months have brought a lot of changes, new projects, new experiences, sad losses, and one spectacular trip to France. I feel like I haven’t processed half of it. It’s time to allow myself to slow down, even stop, and let all of that sink in. There will be time, soon, for planting, weeding, pruning…the cycle will continue. But first, fallow time.

Do you allow yourself the rest and restoration of fallow time? 

California

California Hills--Landscape of My Childhood

August 23, 2019


When I read this poem I had to share it, because it so perfectly captures for me the look and feel of the area in which I spent my growing-up summers, an area that I love deeply and find beautiful, in ways that may seem puzzling to those who come from more well-watered areas.

Introduction by Ted Kooser: Let’s hope that by the time this column appears all fires in California have been extinguished. I wanted to offer you a poem that shows us what that beautiful but arid state can look like before it’s caught fire. The poet, Dana Gioia, served as Chair of the National Endowment for the Arts and has been a friend to, and advocate for, poetry for many years. This poem appeared in the anthology, Fire and Rain: Ecopoetry of California, from Scarlet Tanager Books.

California Hills in August

I can imagine someone who found
these fields unbearable, who climbed
the hillside in the heat, cursing the dust,
cracking the brittle weeds underfoot,
wishing a few more trees for shade.

An Easterner especially, who would scorn
the meagerness of summer, the dry
twisted shapes of black elm,
scrub oak, and chaparral, a landscape
August has already drained of green.

One who would hurry over the clinging
thistle, foxtail, golden poppy,
knowing everything was just a weed,
unable to conceive that these trees
and sparse brown bushes were alive.

And hate the bright stillness of the noon
without wind, without motion,
the only other living thing
a hawk, hungry for prey, suspended
in the blinding, sunlit blue.

And yet how gentle it seems to someone
raised in a landscape short of rain—
the skyline of a hill broken by no more
trees than one can count, the grass,
the empty sky, the wish for water.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©1986 by Dana Gioia, “California Hills in August,” from Fire and Rain: Ecopoetry of California, (Lucille Lang Day and Ruth Nolan, Eds., Scarlet Tanager Books, 2018). Poem reprinted by permission of Dana Gioia and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2019 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Alexandra Stoddard

Catching Happiness Inspiration--Alexandra Stoddard

August 19, 2019


Back in March, I wrote about one of the authors who inspired my mindset when I started Catching Happiness. Today I want to introduce you to another: Alexandra Stoddard.

Stoddard began her career as an interior designer, working with Eleanor McMillen Brown. She became a top design professional, and established her own design firm, Alexandra Stoddard Incorporated.  She also became an author, penning 28 books and giving lectures on not only design, but on personal happiness and living a more beautiful life. Her website lists her as “contemporary philosopher, author, interior designer, and speaker.” All this at the age of 77!

Her mantra is “Happiness is the first principle of life. Love & Live Happy.”

Once again, I can’t remember how I originally found her work, but over the years I’ve read probably half of her books. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been remaking her acquaintance by rereading some of my favorites.

As much as I enjoy her books, Stoddard has a more formal approach to living than I do. I’m a California/Florida girl and I’m ultra casual in almost everything. But I aspire to her tranquility and her cheery outlook. I love the idea of making our daily surroundings as pretty and uplifting as we can, as well as her belief that we have a role in creating our own happiness. (She also has no computer or smart phone, and hand writes manuscripts using a fountain pen. I start most of my writing with pen and paper, but couldn’t do my work without both a smart phone and a computer…much as I might like to sometimes.)

A few of my favorite Alexandra Stoddard quotes:

“In my work in interior design, I’ve noticed that many people have a tendency to save up 95 percent of their money and effort to spend on 5 percent of their lives—festive occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, and the special, more public places in the home, such as the living or dining room. Instead, the way to live a beautiful life is to make the daily 95 percent of your life wonderful.”
—Living a Beautiful Life

“Whenever we want to learn to do something well, we have to go into training. Just because we’ve been given eyesight doesn’t mean we know how to use our eyes to look and really see.

“We have to train ourselves to look at all things and see things well. We must not be limited by the familiar but must instead look and look again. Seeing well is a process of opening our mind as well as our eyes. We will be intrigued and curious, but in the beginning we also need to discipline our mind and eyes and discern through practice.”
— Open Your Eyes

 “I love the idea that bees gather nectar from flowers and herbs and then go home and make honey. We are like bees in that way. We move about, going from here to there, having thousands of different experiences, and learning how to cultivate our own. We take everything in, then we make our honey, our own dreams come true, our own happiness.”
—Choosing Happiness

“When you greet life choice by choice, detail by detail, aware of how much more happiness you can experience, you will be living a good life.”
—You Are Your Choices

We live in a frightening, frustrating time—but what era has NOT been frightening and frustrating? There is, there has been, and probably always will be suffering as long as we are humans. Despite, that, we have a choice whether to live our lives in sadness, fear, and discouragement or to embrace what we have, make it better, share it with others. We can try to inspire and encourage rather than tear down, divide, or add to the fear and frustration around us. Even though that’s quite often the larger challenge.

I do it imperfectly, but I choose to seek after and share happiness.

What are some of the little things you do to make your life happier and more beautiful?

For a list of Alexandra Stoddard’s books, click here.


Fear

Take Off Your Gloves

August 16, 2019

Photo by Philippe Jausions on Unsplash

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.

”When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.

”It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.”




Comfort zones

Summer Rerun--Three Habits That Trap Us in Our Comfort Zones

August 12, 2019

Now and then I dip into the Catching Happiness archives and share a post from the past. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the balance of comfort and discomfort in the pursuit of happiness. This post from 2016 touches on habits that can trap us in our comfort zones. 

Photo courtesy Martin Wessley

So many times we’re tempted to procrastinate, to quit, or, worse, not to try at all, because something we want to do is complicated or doesn’t come easily. Just once, I’d like to try something new and find it immediately easy, but this has not been my experience with even my favorite activities: horseback riding, sketching, yoga, writing. These activities often push me well outside my comfort zone, but they have given me hours of happiness. I still don’t find them “easy,”—easier, yes, but not easy. Maybe easy is not the point?

Worthwhile pursuits—the ones that give us lasting happiness—often don’t come easy. We have to practice, to put in the time and effort to improve, or else we’ll be frustrated. And how many times do we opt for the easier choice: the TV program, the mindless internet surfing, and so on? What other factors keep us safe in our comfort zones instead of pursuing the very things we say we want to pursue? In my experience, there are three things that contribute to the inertia keeping us from enjoying challenging and happy-making pastimes: comparing ourselves to others; worrying about what others think; and not stopping to appreciate how far we’ve come.

Comparing ourselves with others. When we see someone perform effortlessly (or even just better than we do), we compare ourselves to them. Problem is, we compare our “inside” to their “outside.” We don’t know their lives and experience. We don’t know what’s going on in their heads and hearts, how easy or hard things are for them, how long it has taken for them to make it look effortless. It may feel just as hard to them as it does to us, only we can’t see that. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” according to Theodore Roosevelt. If we must compare, we should compare ourselves to ourselves. (See below.)

Worrying about what others think. If we’ve been comparing ourselves to others and feel we’re falling short, we probably also feel others are looking down on us. If we are new to a pastime or putting our work out there for everyone to see, it’s only natural that we feel worried about others’ responses. The truth? Most people don’t care what we do, or what we look like while doing it. They are too busy worrying about themselves. While they’re otherwise occupied, we can do what we want without fear of what others think.

Not appreciating how far we’ve come. The first time I took a horseback riding lesson, I was scared. Thrilled, but scared. My school horse was big and, to my mind, unpredictable. My body was confused about pretty much everything it was expected to do. Now, many years later, I’ve learned a great deal about horses and riding, and many of my actions on horseback are automatic. But since I’m still learning new things, I do have times when I perform awkwardly, or just plain badly. I could get frustrated by this, but because of my past experiences, I know not to give up if my first attempts are awkward or embarrassing. Compared with how I rode as beginner (sorry, Tank), I’ve come a long way.

Most things, if we keep at them, will become easier. We won’t always feel awkward and embarrassed, we won’t always have to think so hard about every action. Even if we’re trying something for the first time and we’re awful, by stepping outside our comfort zones, we’re miles ahead of all the people who haven’t been brave enough to try in the first place.

What challenging pursuit would you like to begin? What’s holding you back?

Discomfort

Discomfort Opens Windows of Opportunity

August 09, 2019


“…discomfort can open great windows of opportunity. When we were younger we ran from discomfort constantly. We were in search of an easy life, and of course we never found it. We found the opposite.

“Over the years we’ve learned that the best things in life are often the hardest to come by, at least initially. And when you shy away from difficulty and discomfort, you miss out on them entirely. For example, mastering a new skill is hard. Healing from grief is hard. Building a business is hard. Writing a book is hard. A marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Staying healthy is hard. But all are amazing and worth every bit of effort you can muster.

“If you get good at handling discomfort, you can do almost anything you put your mind to in the long run.”

August

August Monday Musings

August 05, 2019

The soupy view from my window

August in Florida features heat, humidity, frequent thunderstorms, and sometimes, hurricanes.

Though I try not to wish the days away, August is a month I mostly just try to get through. I ride Tank very little, if at all. Luna is happy to stop our walks early and come inside. I need a shower after picking up the mail at the mailbox.

But there are still simple pleasures to savor, even in August:

Big books and cold drinks. Salads for dinner. Naps on the couch. Chilled white sangria. So many different kinds of Outshine bars. Watching the light change and knowing we’re drawing closer to my favorite season, fall. Planning a trip with my husband. Tackling organizing/cleaning projects to prepare for my usual fall burst of energy. Lying in bed at night listening to a rainstorm, being grateful for my safety and comfort, in a world where those things are increasingly in question. After the events of this past weekend, I am not complaining about sweating a little lot or any of the other trifling irritations in my life.

I am not in need.

What are you grateful for this month?

In other news, I’m very proud that my profile of Paula Francis and her horse “Zack” is the featured cover article in the August-September issue of America’s Horse. Click here to read their inspiring story.

Alexandra Stoddard

No One Can Be Happy For You

July 26, 2019


“Be idealistic. No one on earth deserves to be happier than you do. Because you are unique, if you are not happy, no one can be happy for you. Happiness is love in action. The more you love your life, the more you will love all of life. You can accomplish great things when your energy is loving. It is recognizing what we love inside and out that leads us to greater happiness.”
—Alexandra Stoddard, Choosing Happiness