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Just as I was thinking about what projects and goals I want to take on next, I heard about Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World by Anne-Laure Le Cunff. Described as “the antidote to obsessing over goals,” the book intrigued me, so I checked it out from my library. 

I’ve become frustrated with my method of setting goals—I set them, work on them for a while, get distracted by something new (or a crisis) and too often I don’t find the process to be enjoyable or even effective. Couple that with all the life changes I’ve experienced in the last few years, and I feel somewhat adrift. What do I even want to do anymore? How do I figure that out?

Tiny Experiments has some ideas.

A different way to look at goals

Le Cunff is a neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and the creator of the Ness Labs newsletter. Tiny Experiments is described as a reframing of the common approach to setting goals, as well as a guide to help you: 

Instead of randomly choosing a goal to pursue, or going after what other people want you to do, Le Cunff describes a whole process that leads up to creating your tiny experiment. She first encourages readers to start by looking at their lives the way an anthropologist would. She writes, “There is no need for fancy tools or scientific equipment. Simply create a new note on your phone so you can jot down thoughts as you go about your day. Call it ‘Field Notes’ or another title that feels playful or meaningful. Then, whenever something crosses your mind, write a time stamp and a few words.”

You might record insights (moments of curiosity, random thoughts, new ideas, questions), energy (shifts throughout the day, what gives you energy or drains it), mood (emotions before and after an experience), encounters (social interactions and connections, and any insights or feelings that come from them). From these observations, you can learn what brings you joy, what drains you, what you want more of, what you want less of. You may see patterns, persistent challenges, points of curiosity.

Once you’ve made your observations, you might then ask a question. Here’s an example from the book: 

Observation: I feel anxious in the morning.

Follow up your observation with a question: How can I feel more grounded before going to work?

Next comes your hypothesis: Meditation might help regulate my emotions.

From there, design a tiny experiment, which begins with what Ness calls a pact: “I will [action] for [duration].” Durations can vary, with some being as short as 10 days, to others lasting three months or more. A pact should be purposeful, actionable, continuous, and trackable: “I will use my meditation app for five minutes before I go to work for the next 10 days.”

This approach focuses on outputs, something you have control over, rather than outcomes, which you likely do not.

If you’re not sure what your pact should be, think tiny. What would you be able to do on your worst day?

You can choose any number of tiny experiments, becoming the scientist of your own life. 

Favorite concepts

There’s a lot of thought-provoking information in Tiny Experiments, starting with the idea of living experimentally. Other topics I found especially interesting include procrastination and what it can teach you, and how thinking about thinking (metacognition) can improve both your experimental choices and understanding of the results.

Confession: I have yet to finalize any goals for the year, or even for the next few months. However, I am likely to commit to a few tiny experiments—living with curiosity and a spirit of experimentation.

I found Tiny Experiments both philosophical and practical, and I’m still thinking about what I read. If you’re interested in living a full life, but you’re turned off by the culture of bigger, better, more and constant striving, you might find Le Cunff’s approach helpful and more appealing.

What tiny experiments are calling to you?

When I hear about a book I think I’d like to read, I usually check it out from the library, even if I have to wait in a long line of library holds to do so. Only after I’ve read and loved a book, and know I’ll want to read it more than once, will I buy my own copy. (I must make these rules for myself because otherwise I’d be b-a-n-k-r-u-p-t if I bought a copy of every book I wanted to read.)

But every now and then, a book comes along that makes me break my rules. When I heard the title of Courtney Carver’s new book, I knew I had to read it. I also decided to do something I rarely do: preorder a copy. I’ve read Carver’s other books and loved them, and the premise of her new book spoke to me, especially in 2025, when my word of the year is ease.

I’m two-thirds of the way through Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want and it does not disappoint.

Start with rest

Gentle is divided into three sections: Rest, Less, and Rise. Each chapter ends with tiny steps, and if even the tiny steps are too much, a single “Gentle” step. Each chapter also ends with a (usually) single-sentence “Permission Slip.”

“Rest” is first in the book because so many of us are so exhausted. It resonated very much with me because I’m still coming down from the high wire of stress and grief from the past couple of years. In this section, Carver offers suggestions for inviting more rest into our lives—from actively scheduling literal 5- to 10-minute blocks of rest and allowing more margin between activities, to learning to underreact to various situations we find upsetting, and discovering what actually feels restful to each of us. One of my favorite sections of the whole book was the deep dive into “the new rules of rest.” One of my favorites: “Thou shalt ease through hard days rather than pushing through them.”

Less is next

The second section of the book is “Less.” Whether it’s having fewer things, giving less advice, picking up your phone less often, or living with less regret, according to Carver, if you’re stressed or anxious, “The answer is usually less.” 

The chapter titled “Release Your Pain” is one I’m still thinking about. In it, Carver relates that she destroys her journals. !!! Now, I’ve just moved a giant box of journals from one house to another and the idea of destroying them is…horrifying to me. But she asks a number of good questions about why one might be keeping journals, and offers some compelling reasons for being willing to let go. One reason I’m holding on to mine is to have a record of my life to look back on, but as she writes: “If what’s holding you back [from releasing your journals] is the fear of not remembering, consider how you want to spend your time now and how you may want to spend it in the future. Will you want to spend it frustrated that you can’t remember things, and trying to unearth your past? Or will you want to read a book, spend time with people you love, play a game, watch your favorite movie, or learn a new skill?”

As I said, I’m still thinking about this.

Finally, we rise

The final section of the book is “Rise,” and in the spirit of Gentle, I decided against rushing through this last part in order to summarize it for you. I did peek at the introduction to “Rise,” and it begins like this: “Becoming the Gentle You doesn’t mean you have to withdraw from the world. You don’t have to stop striving for what you want or stop caring.” Carver notes that the practices from the first two sections of the book will serve as supports as you “accomplish all that you want to accomplish, not by pushing through but by easing through.”

Which seems like a good place to ask the question Carver poses earlier in Gentle: “If you were more at ease and relaxed, would you be better equipped to create and live the life you desire?” Something for us all to think about. 

I highly recommend Courtney Carver’s Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want and will be savoring the last few chapters this weekend.