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| Photo by Aung Soe Min on Unsplash |
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
—Martin Luther King Jr.
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
― Mother Teresa
This post started out as a way to explore love in all its
guises, in honor of Valentine’s Day. But I can’t remember a time when more hate
was on display. How do I write about love when the daily barrage of
images and stories of needless cruelty makes my heart sick? When I feel
helpless and totally inadequate to affect change, even if I knew the exact
right thing to do or say?
Catching Happiness is meant to be a haven of peace and
uplifting thoughts, so I cling to the words of Mother Theresa and Martin Luther
King Jr., above, and hope it is enough. Since I want to add more kindness and light to public discourse, this post is about focusing on love even—maybe especially—in a time of
anger.
What do you love?
Focusing on love can begin simply. Start by asking yourself, what do you love? Your family? Your friends? Your job? What activities do you love? What media do you love—which books, music, movies?
If you love something, LOVE it. Don’t be embarrassed, or
hold back your enthusiasm. The world is in sore need of more enthusiastic love!
Lavish love on those you live with, including your pets. Family members we live with are often the ones we take for granted most.
Whatever you love, spend more time with it and share it with others. Invite someone to an activity you enjoy, or teach someone how to do the thing you love. Get together with others to “parallel play”—each bringing something you love to do. I like the idea of donating money to a cause that helps others enjoy what you love. For me, that includes donating to organizations that help animals, provide art supplies for Kyiv’s children, or get books to kids.
Love yourself
What do you love about yourself physically, mentally,
emotionally? Maybe you’re the person who throws the best parties or offers a
listening ear. Maybe you’re the quiet, smart one who helps others shine. We all
have strengths and good points. Remember and appreciate yours. Show yourself true
care and kindness.
When love is hard
Next, we move on to love that feels harder. It’s easy to love
people, animals, and things that bring us pleasure. It gets stickier when faced
with people or organizations you fundamentally disagree with, and some things
are so unconscionable that they should be hated. I certainly wrestle
with this. The best I can think of is to set boundaries, retain your values,
and try not to hate other people. Maybe just not hating is love?
Keep looking for love
In a time of anger and turmoil, keep looking for love, because it’s on display, too. I’m so touched by the monks walking for peace, accompanied by their mascot, Aloka, for example. We can do our part to demonstrate love, as Mother Theresa said, by doing small things with great love: cook a delicious meal for your family, shovel a snow-covered walkway for a neighbor, call a friend just to see how they’re doing. Even a gesture as small as smiling and looking someone in the eye when they greet you can feel loving in this world of cell phone absorption. I love the idea of spending more time focusing on expressions of love—by ourselves and others.
Loving actions can feel
risky, and it’s true that people can try to take advantage of us, or ridicule
us for our efforts. That’s on them—we don’t have control over how someone else
receives our actions.
What are some small, loving things you’ve heard about recently?
*Choler: irascibility; anger; wrath; irritability. With apologies to
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