If you’ve been reading Catching Happiness for a while, you know I’m big on baby steps and small changes. Small is less intimidating and scary. Like most people, I feel less resistance to small changes and adjustments than to big, sweeping reorganizations. And when I’m feeling resistant to change, or struggling with a big goal or project, one way to break through that resistance is to find the absolute smallest next step and take it.

On days when I find it hard to write, I sneak beneath my resistance radar by tackling one small detail, or setting my timer for 15 minutes and allowing myself to stop writing after it goes off. Instead of reorganizing my whole house, I clean out one drawer. (I love you Marie Kondo, but I can’t do it your way.) I’ve been practicing French with the Duolingo app for months because it takes less than 10 minutes to complete my daily goal. I probably won’t become fluent this way, but I’m learning and having fun, and certainly known more of the language than if I had done nothing at all. (And I know how to say, “There’s a cow in the living room!”* in French, for which I will be forever grateful!)

We sometimes make the mistake of thinking only a big gesture or major commitment will do if we want to make an impact. That’s not always true—often it’s a small thing that makes you stand out. The authors of The Power of Small, Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval, call it “going the extra inch.” And even an extra inch is something many people just don’t get around to. As Thaler and Koval write, “We often think about taking that extra step. A nagging thought crosses our minds as we’re racing to complete nine other tasks, worrying over how far behind we are on the day’s to-do list. Unfortunately, we don’t heed that inner voice. We forget. Or we get too busy and that mental Post-it note gets lost in the tsunami of other demands.”

There are plenty of tiny steps that will help us reach our goals and make us happier: If we want to give more to charity, start by donating $5. If we want to keep in better touch with friends or family, send a text message that we’re thinking about them. If we want to read more, pick up a collection of short stories or essays we can easily dip into. Don’t try to write a book—write a sentence.

Here are a few small things I love:

What are a few of your favorite small things?

“I don’t mean that we should sell ourselves short or be cavalier about our potential or responsibilities. But I do think that, misled by self-critical and self-punishing voices, one can easily misconstrue one’s calling. In thinking we need to Change the World, we may miss opportunities to perform the small yet profound acts of which we’re truly capable.”

—Sarah Juniper Rabkin, What I Learned at Bug Camp

Last week, after a poor night’s sleep, I sat at my desk handling a number of small, irritating-but-necessary tasks. Outside, the sky was gray, threatening rain. I ran into minor problems with a couple of my tasks, and by lunchtime I was feeling frustrated, tired, and as if a heavy weight lay over my head. Nothing terrible had happened, but tell that to my mood. Sometimes it doesn’t take something big to influence your mood—little things add up.

Little bad or irritating things all morning can add up to a grumpy, out-of-sorts afternoon. (As I was typing this sentence, I typed grumply instead of grumpy—and I rather like it! It sounds just like I felt!)

Little good things, on the other hand—simple pleasures or happy little things, whatever you want to call them—can improve an ordinary or even a grumply day.

On the day in question, I treated myself to a cup of good quality hot chocolate, and an afternoon visit to my horse. It helped.

More happy little things I turn to to keep the grumply days at bay:

It also pays to nip small nuisances in the bud whenever possible—replacing the kitchen tool that doesn’t work properly and annoys you every time you use it, or making sure each location that needs it has a set of scissors, a note pad and pen, for example.

In April on Catching Happiness, we’re going to explore how little things, baby steps, and tiny changes can add up to a happier life. I hope you’ll join me!

What are some happy little things that lift your mood? 

Introduction by Ted Kooser: Marge Saiser, who lives in Nebraska, is a fine and a very lucky poet. With the passing of each year her poems have gotten stronger and deeper. That's an enviable direction for a writer. This poem was published in The Briar Cliff Review and it looks back wisely and wistfully over a rich life. Saiser's most recent book is The Woman in the Moon from the Backwaters Press.

Weren’t We Beautiful

growing into ourselves

earnest and funny we were

angels of some kind, smiling visitors

the light we lived in was gorgeous

we looked up and into the camera

the ordinary things we did with our hands

or how we turned and walked

or looked back we lifted the child

spooned food into his mouth

the camera held it, stayed it

there we are in our lives as if

we had all time

as if we would stand in that room

and wear that shirt those glasses

as if that light

without end

would shine on us

and from us.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2018 by Marjorie Saiser, "Weren't We Beautiful," from The Briar Cliff Review, (Vol. 30, 2018). Poem reprinted by permission of Marjorie Saiser and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2019 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.