“Attention is like energy in that without it no work can be done, and in doing work is dissipated. We create ourselves by how we use this energy. Memories, thoughts and feelings are all shaped by how use it. And it is an energy under control, to do with as we please; hence attention is our most important tool in the task of improving the quality of experience.”

—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

On the bulletin board next to my desk hangs a sign with the following words:

I’m mean to myself sometimes, and I’m betting you are, too. For instance:

For our own happiness’ sake, I think we should be nicer to ourselves all the time, even when we feel we least deserve it.

A few ways to be nice to yourself include:

Treating your body lovingly. Feed it well, move it, let it rest. And talk to it nicely. Go slow enough, or take enough breaks during the day, that you can hear what it has to say.

Having more fun! Schedule at least one thing just for fun every day. Working out doesn’t count, unless you do it for fun. Maybe it’s a half hour of reading at lunchtime, a glass of wine with your partner before dinner, or playing a game with a friend online. Whatever simple pleasures make your heart happy.

When you are kinder to yourself, you’ll probably find it easier to cut everyone else some slack as well. We’re all imperfect, we all lose concentration now and then, we—gasp—make mistakes! It’s much easier to be patient and forgiving with others when that’s “where you live,” so to speak.

Being nicer to ourselves is not only a way to feel happier, it is also one way to add to the sum total of kindness and gentleness in the world—something the world desperately needs.

How are you mean to yourself? What can you do today to be nice to yourself?

“To be interested in the changing seasons is…a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.”

—George Santayana, “Justification of Art”

I’ve had an influx of beautiful books lately, so I thought I’d share this simple pleasure with you.

I was shopping at Target a couple of weeks ago when this book caught my eye:

First the pretty cover and then the enticing title: A Book That Takes Its Time: An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness. I picked it up to flip through and found that each page was unique. Thoughtfully written pieces were interspersed with happy illustrations and interactive goodies, such as tear out “Notecards for your beautiful moments jar.” The clincher that made me drop it into my basket—it is “a flow book.” (Flow is a magazine I’ve heard of but not yet seen in person. Since flow is my word of the year, my reticular activating system is constantly bringing it to my attention!)

I’m taking my time going through this book, savoring the simple pleasures within. On the back cover, it’s described as “A mindfulness retreat between two covers….” It has sections on kindness (to yourself and others), creativity, learning and more, as well as writing prompts, mini-journals, postcards, and decorative papers. I can see it sitting on a coffee table, available to browse through at whim. This was an impulse buy, but well worth the price.

The other beautiful books came to me by way of a contest! Rizzoli Books sponsored a giveaway on Instagram recently, and I won! The books arrived Friday. They’re all beautiful, and I know I’ll spend many happy hours browsing through them. 

 Two were of particular interest to me: Gardens of Style, by Janelle McCulloch, and Paris in Stride, by Jessie Kanelos Weiner and Sarah Moroz. Janelle writes and photographs the most beautiful books, and I’ve read her blog A Library of Design for several years. I claim her as a blogging acquaintance and hope to meet her someday as she sometimes visits Florida. 

Paris in Stride comes at just the right time, as I will be joining Laure Ferlita on her sketching tour in Paris in October! Paris in Stride is subtitled “an insider’s walking guide,” and is arranged by arrondissements, so I think it’s going to be helpful in planning our visit. Plus it’s charmingly illustrated in watercolor! (The books also came with a watercolor of the Eiffel Tour as seen below left.)

Gentle readers, let us finish up the Birds and Blooms and Winding Roads trip with some delicious food and a visit to the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. (See part one here, part two here, and part three here.) Click on the photos if you'd like to see them bigger.

The food was some of the best I’ve ever eaten—we shared the hard cider French toast and the bacon and mushroom hash.

In addition to serving people, they are dog-friendly with a special menu just for their canine guests: the Stop, Drop & Drool menu, and there’s a special room where you can eat with your pet. (Luna would have lost her mind with joy.)

After we waddled walked to our car, we headed just up the road to the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens: “47 acres of botanical bliss fronting the Pacific Ocean.” This garden was voted 5^th best garden in the United States by USA Today’s “10 Best” Reader’s Choice Awards.

I could tell you about the blooming rhododendrons; the succulent and Mediterranean gardens; the walk by the sea where we watched in fascination as waves curled and broke, dashing themselves against rocks; the hummingbirds darting here and there...but instead I’ll let my photos show, not tell.

Where will your next everyday adventure take you?