This past week has been the first in months that didn’t contain a huge number of extra “have-tos” on top of my normal activities that keep our lives functioning. I’ve allowed myself to slow down a little…but just a little, because there are sooo many things in progress that need to be moved along now that I only have one house to manage. We’ve lived here six months today (!), and 99 percent of the boxes are unpacked. Some of the remaining boxes are waiting on additional storage we need to add to the house (laundry room cabinets, for example). Not bad, but not finished, either.

Finishing can be hard

I’ve noticed that I have a hard time finishing larger or more complex projects, and unpacking is no different. Sometimes one small hurdle will derail me—it doesn’t have to be a major obstacle or unexpected event, just something that requires extra time or thought. Sometimes it’s decision fatigue. Where should the photo albums go? How about these puzzles? Where will I keep the extra pet food and toys? I’ll get one area of the house unpacked and organized, only to find piles from another part of the house stacking up there while I work on that other area!

So this week I devoted my spare time to finishing as much unpacking as I can. And I’ve discovered that there is definite joy in finishing. It feels so good to walk into my bedroom and no longer have any boxes stacked on the floor, and to be able to actually close the closet door in my office!

A work in progress

This week, not only have I (re)learned how good it feels to finish, I also (re)discovered that finishing often takes a lot less time than I think. Sorting the box of art supplies and putting them into the new storage containers I’d bought probably took less than an hour, for example.

It helped to break things down into small tasks, use a timer, and give myself permission to change activities when decision fatigue began to kick in. I also kept at it all week even when new and necessary projects appeared. I’ve rewarded myself with cold drinks and reading a book, but also with the vision of what it will feel like to be done. Completely unpacked and settled.  I’m not quite there, but getting close.

Closing the tabs in my brain

When too many things are in progress, I joke about having too many tabs open in my brain. I don’t feel internally peaceful when multiple things are undone or in progress. Eventually it’s more uncomfortable to leave things as they are than to actually finish. That’s what this week has been all about: finishing what can be finished.

If you’re not unpacking (lucky you), what projects do you have in the works? Are you making progress or are you stalled? Are you good at starting but not so good at finishing (raises hand)? What step could you take right now to move forward? 

Photo by Anna Demianenko on Unsplash

I know it’s not technically summer yet (it officially begins June 20), but it’s summer in Florida. (It’s almost always summer in Florida, but that’s another story.) I’m bracing myself for getting ready for summer by planning things to look forward to, simple pleasures and everyday adventures to make this season bearable, if not actually happy.

We do summer in Florida the way those who live in cold climates do winter: we spend a lot of time escaping and working around the weather.

We’re not here yet, but it’s only a matter of time:

CleanMemes.com

Summer fun for the weather-impaired

First on my list is: coordinate a California visit to see my aunt, my stepmom…and my mom’s grave.

Watch Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning in the theater with my husband. Looking for other movies to see in the theater as well. 

Take an in-person yoga class.

Stay at the beach for the weekend with my husband—we’ve been trying to do this for a couple of years, but I’m confident we’ll actually get there this summer. When you actually stay at the beach, you can get out early before it’s as hot as the surface of the sun, or watch the sunset at night, then go back into air-conditioned comfort.

Make key lime pie ice cream.

Do at least one jigsaw puzzle.

Try some new recipes because I’m sick of what I make for dinner. Though I wouldn’t normally class this as “fun,” I’m trying to find ways to make feeding ourselves more enjoyable.

Rewatch some of our favorite movies on the new TV we bought when we moved.

Celebrate my father-in-law’s 90^th birthday!

Check out our new neighborhood pool. Maybe with a cold drink and a book if they have umbrellas (I can’t remember if they do).

As always, I’ll be getting together with friends, eating summer fruit like crazy, and, of course, reading. Which brings me to…

What I’ll be reading

I finally finished the Agatha in Order project that I started back in August of 2023. I thoroughly enjoyed my leisurely trip through her work, rediscovering favorites, and acknowledging that a few simply didn’t appeal. Now that I’m done with that, I’ve decided it’s time to get a handle on my TBR shelf again. When we moved, I lost the space I used to store my bought-but-as-yet-unread books and let’s just say, my new TBR shelf location is overflowing. Despite the fact that I’ve slowed down new purchases considerably since this post, one of my 25 in 25 goals was to read or otherwise dispose of half of my TBR shelf. I bought these books because I wanted to read them; maybe it’s time to, you know, read them? 

But.                                                                                        

(There’s always a “but.”)

When I looked through my TBR books, I realized many of them are non-fiction, very long, or one of a series that I’m not ready to read yet. I still hope to make some progress.  

Here’s a tentative list of what I want to read this summer in no particular order (TBR shelf selections marked with *):

*Kristin Lavransdatter, Sigrid Unset. This is a chunky book I’ve wanted to read for a while, and I bought a copy so I wouldn’t have to worry about library due dates. I’m going to start it soon, and if I don’t like it, I’ll put it aside. If I do like it, it might take me all summer to read!

*Death and the Dutch Uncle, Patricia Moyes. A book series I enjoy that the library doesn’t have. I’ve collected most of my copies from Paperback Swap. 

Native Nations: A Millennium in North America, Kathleen DuVal. I have a growing interest in learning about the United States’ indigenous people, and this book won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for history (tied with Edda L. Fields-Black’s COMBEE: Harriet Tubman, the Combahee River Raid, and Black Freedom During the Civil War). 

Run for the Hills, Kevin Wilson. It’s described as “a touching and generous romp of a novel,” which sounds perfect for summer reading. 

Ordinary Time: Lessons Learned While Staying Put, Annie B. Jones. I’m all for honoring the ordinary. 

Heartwood, Amity Gage. Suspense on the Appalachian Trail. This sounds so good! I’m number 69 on the hold list at the library, but hopefully it will come in before the summer ends.

*Daisy Miller and/or Washington Square, Henry James (both books are in the edition I have). According to Goodreads, “Each work weaves an intricate tale of marriage, money, and manners.” 

*Travels with My Aunt, Graham Greene. I’ve not read anything by Graham Greene, and this sounded interesting. 

*Small Victories, Anne Lamott. Lamott’s essays are always thought-provoking and often hilarious. I haven’t read this collection, and I found it in my library’s book store for $2. 

*Bruno, Chief of Police, Martin Walker. Because WHY NOT start a new mystery series?? This one is set in France, so oui, s’il vous plait.

I’m a fairly fast reader, but we’ll see how this goes.

And that’s it so far. I’m not feeling all that ambitious after moving and unpacking. I’d rather relax with a cold drink and a book than do anything. Maybe I need another Summer of Kathy?

What summer fun are you planning this year?

Wow, May sure went by in a flash! Here we are, on the doorstep of June. Of summer. Summer’s not my favorite, but this year I’m really going to make an effort to enjoy it as much as possible. While I’m making up my summer fun and summer reading lists, I hope you enjoy these links I’ve collected recently. 

What makes people flourish? The Global Flourishing Study is an interesting look at how respondents from 22 countries rank their well-being based on six dimensions of a flourishing life.  

I want to travel to Iceland, but after reading this article, maybe I want to move there? 

The book nerd in me enjoyed watching this short video on how to properly break in a new hardcover book so that it’s easier to read and the spine is protected. 

This will surprise no one who loves to read: “Why Reading Is a Form of Therapy.”

Psychologist Rick Hansen has developed a method of building resilience and improving emotional well-being. Read about it in “‘Taking in the good’: A simple way to offset your brain’s negativity bias.” 

Have you heard of “shine theory”? 

Watch this if you’re afraid you’re falling behind:

Happy Friday—and see you in June!

A quick update: the last couple weeks have been a flurry of activity—our previous house was under contract, then it wasn’t. And then it was again. And then it sold.

Since we put it on the market in February, I’ve been going there at least once a week to check on things, run the dishwasher, flush the toilets, pull vines and weeds (etc.) to keep it looking presentable for showings and open houses. Lately, I’ve been going more often because we had some minor repairs to do before the sale and we also wanted to dig up or take cuttings of a few of our favorite plants. This helped me continue to detach emotionally, but it was wearing me out.

Also, we had planned to hire someone to build a built-in cabinet/bookshelf at our new home, and it just so happened that this week he was available to do the project. The unit is gorgeous (see below), but it has been noisy and nuts at times, and difficult for me to concentrate.

Before:

After:

This whole week has been chaos, but we are done with two big things: the sale of our house and the construction of our built-in unit. Two steps forward toward our new life! 

We have a three-day weekend to unpack the final boxes and fill our beautiful shelves. 

So that's what I've been doing lately. What's new with you?

Photo by Sophia Kunkel on Unsplash

In 2013 when I adopted Prudy, it had been a few years since I’d had a cat, so before I went to the shelter, I spent hours researching food, toys, and even cat litter. I crossed the line between responsible pet owner and obsessive nutcase. I’ve done a similar thing with other decisions, including which cover to get for my cell phone, where to stay for a beach weekend, and [insert anything involving my horse].

Wanting to make good choices is a worthy goal, but did you know how we go about it can make a difference in our level of happiness? 

In our quest for a happy life, we might assume that one way to ensure happiness is to make each one of our decisions the absolute best one we can make.

We would be wrong.

Happy people, according to Daniel J. Levitin in The Organized Mind, engage in satisficing, even if they’re not aware that they’re doing it. 

What is satisficing?

“Satisficing” comes from combining the words “satisfying” and “sufficing.” The term was originally created by Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert A. Simon in 1956. 

I first heard the term “satisficer” while reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog. Satisficers, according to Rubin are “those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied,” she wrote. 

The alternative to being a satisficer is being a maximizer. According to Rubin, “Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.” Maximizers tend to be more anxious about their choices, fearing that they’ve made a mistake. Most people use both types of decision making, but they may have a primary tendency toward one or the other.

Of course, some decisions are more important than others, and it’s prudent to take more time and care in those areas. It makes sense that the more important a decision it is, the more effort and thought put into it. It’s the lesser choices that unnecessarily eat up our time and energy. We can burn ourselves out making every mole hill a mountain. 

Loosening my grip on perfectionism

The older I get, the more I lean into satisficing. Mostly, I just don’t have the time to nitpick every decision, going on deep research dives to choose the “absolute best” whatsit/course of action/hotel/pet food. Satisficing has helped me realize there’s not one perfect way to do anything. You can be a person of excellence without choosing perfectly, every time. And who decides what perfect is anyway?

Satisficing is one more way I’m fighting perfectionist tendencies and embracing ease. I feel less stress when I don’t have to make the “perfect” choice, and I free up a lot of time I might have previously spent overthinking. I love a research rabbit hole as much as anyone, but sometimes I’ve just got to stop.

How to satisfice

So how did this self-identified, semi-obsessive maximizer change her ways? Here are some tips I try to follow when a decision needs to be made:

Limit the time I spend or number of sources I choose for decision research.

If I have time, I make the choice, but sleep on it before implementing it.

Simply choose fewer things. How many whatsits do I really need?

Don’t waste time looking at options I can’t have. Often, I can’t afford the “absolute best” of whatever it is I want or need. We’re gathering info on remodeling the kitchen of our new home, and I already know not to look at certain features because they’re simply beyond what we’re willing to spend.

Realize in six months I’ll have forgotten about all the other options.

If it turns out the decision isn’t optimal, I can almost always choose again. Yes, there may be frustrations or problems, but frankly, that’s just life.

I can feel the difference when I start to veer from satisficing to maximizing—and it doesn’t feel great. I’m definitely happier exploring and savoring simple pleasures and everyday adventures than I am mulling over which sheets to buy for the new guest bed.    

Are you a satisficer or a maximizer? What are some of your decision-making tips?