I intended to make December a month of both reflection and looking forward: reflection on the experiences and lessons of 2011 and the effects of my word of the year (light), as well as contemplation of the coming year and its new word.

What was I thinking?

In reality, for me, December is possibly the worst month for reflection, filled as it is with holiday doings and extra activity of all sorts. I believe I managed exactly one evening of quiet contemplation, and I went to bed following that feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Not exactly what I’d had in mind.

Remember this for future years: Save the contemplation for after the holidays, when the kid is back in school, the husband is back at work and the house isn’t wall-to-wall chaos, It’s too overwhelming otherwise, and I just frustrate myself. January will have to become Contemplation Month.

I have to admit that with a few notable exceptions, 2011 was a rough year. (I’m not the only one who feels this way about 2011, but I think Jen Lancaster put it best when she wrote “2011 Blew Goats”—I’d have to agree.)

And yet.

Here I sit, in my comfortable home, with my intact family, plenty to eat, clothes on my back and leisure time I don’t have to spend struggling for survival. I should be—and I am—grateful. But I don’t want to be just grateful that I avoided the worst of disasters. I want to be joyful, hopeful. I can’t say I’ve felt all that joyful recently. It’s been a struggle to remain positive—light, if you will—in the face of repeated distressing situations. No, I haven’t had a major tragedy occur, knock on wood, but I have had a string of minor challenges/accidents/stressful situations to cope with for most of 2011 and I’m feeling a bit emotionally ragged. As someone once said, “What I am looking for is a blessing that is not in disguise.”

I will say that my word of the year did help me hold on, to look for the bright side, to search for the silver lining in the storm clouds. I needed light as a word of the year in 2011.

I haven’t chosen a word for 2012 yet, though that’s high on my agenda. You’d better believe I’ll take care when I do!

What were some of the high and low points of 2011 for you? If you chose a word of the year, did it “help”?


My word of the year is treats...or maybe nap...

Something strange happened this morning. I was driving to pick up my mother-in-law after she dropped off the rental car she needed following an accident that totaled her vehicle but left her with only some sore muscles, when I suddenly felt…happy. I felt the dark mood of worry and anxiety that has so often hovered over me this year—this year that was supposed to be all about “light”—lift off my shoulders.

My word of the year—light—has been anything but. If I wished and hoped it would bring me a lessening of problems and concerns, I was wrong. This year my family has had broken bones and family explosions and sick animals and car accidents. I’ve watched and mourned for those afflicted by natural disasters, and worried over the state of the economy, the nation and the world. And you know what? We’re still here. We still have each other, enough to eat, a comfortable home. We’ve coped just fine with everything 2011 has thrown at us, not because of my worry and anxiety, but despite it. Worry and anxiety have done nothing for me except steal the joy from the present moment.

Perhaps I chose “light” (it chose me?) so that I could begin to learn the lesson of letting go—letting go of what I can’t change or affect, letting go of worry, letting go of the future and concentrating on the now. No, not just concentrating on—rejoicing in.

For just a few moments this morning, I realized If I were to stop worrying about the future, I would be happy. I would feel a lot more light. And for a few moments, I actually felt that way.

Life is good

What have been 2011’s lessons for you?

This is my second year to choose a “word of the year” to guide me, and I wanted to stay more in touch with my word than I did last year, when I pretty much let “open” recede into the background. To do that, I’m keeping some brief notes, and performing a quarterly evaluation of how things are going. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

The concept of light can be applied to many areas of my life—my home, health, relationships and attitudes. Each of these areas could use a little “light therapy.” In my home, I’m lightening up by getting rid of excess possessions—pretty obvious, and an ongoing process as I fight my pack-rat-ish tendencies. In addition to getting rid of stuff, I’m incorporating things that bring light to my life, like the simple act of opening all the blinds in my bedroom each day because it lifts my spirits to see the room flooded with light when I walk by.

I’m working to eat lighter (another ongoing project) in hopes that I’ll eventually be lighter; I’m striving for a light touch with family and friends by doing more listening and encouraging and less advising and correcting.

And most important of all, when it comes to my attitudes, choosing light as my word of the year has reminded me to look for the bright side, to focus on the good I find in daily life. When two or more courses of action present themselves, I choose the one that feels “light.” When I feel myself spiraling down into melancholy, I remind myself to look for the light. I think that’s my take-away lesson of the first three months of 2011: Look for the light.

Do you have a word of the year? How is it working for you so far and what have you learned?

The earthquake and tsunami in Japan and the aftermath thereof is a sobering reminder of how fragile our human lives are, how little “control” we really have. The quake shifted the Earth’s axis, a shift that will affect the seasons and the length of the day, shortening it by an estimated 1.8 microseconds. (You can read more about this here.)  Scientists believe the changes will be subtle and won’t be seen for centuries, but the very idea that the Earth can be shifted on its axis amazes me.

It seems 2011 has gotten off to a rough start. As hard as I try to remain positive about the future, I don’t see a lot of good things going on out there. I’ve had to limit my news exposure because I’m feeling a bit fragile, a little cracked. The good news is that light comes in through the cracks—and light is my word of the year. I have to believe that the cracks will provide a way for the light of change, the light of new experience, learning and blessings to stream in.

Here's to letting in the light.

Photo courtesy stock.xchng.com