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Photo by Sophia Kunkel on Unsplash |
In 2013 when I adopted Prudy, it had been a few years since I’d had a cat, so before I went to the shelter, I spent hours researching food, toys, and even cat litter. I crossed the line between responsible pet owner and obsessive nutcase. I’ve done a similar thing with other decisions, including which cover to get for my cell phone, where to stay for a beach weekend, and [insert anything involving my horse].
Wanting to make good choices is a worthy goal, but did you know how we go about it can make a difference in our level of happiness?
In our quest for a happy life, we might assume that one way
to ensure happiness is to make each one of our decisions the absolute best one
we can make.
We would be wrong.
Happy people, according to Daniel J. Levitin in The Organized Mind, engage in satisficing, even if they’re not aware that they’re doing it.
What is satisficing?
“Satisficing” comes from combining the words “satisfying” and “sufficing.” The term was originally created by Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert A. Simon in 1956.
I first heard the term “satisficer” while reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog. Satisficers, according to Rubin are “those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied,” she wrote.
The alternative to being a satisficer is being a maximizer. According to Rubin, “Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.” Maximizers tend to be more anxious about their choices, fearing that they’ve made a mistake. Most people use both types of decision making, but they may have a primary tendency toward one or the other.
Of course, some decisions are more important than others, and it’s prudent to take more time and care in those areas. It makes sense that the more important a decision it is, the more effort and thought put into it. It’s the lesser choices that unnecessarily eat up our time and energy. We can burn ourselves out making every mole hill a mountain.
Loosening my grip on perfectionism
The older I get, the more I lean into satisficing. Mostly, I
just don’t have the time to nitpick every decision, going on deep research
dives to choose the “absolute best” whatsit/course of action/hotel/pet food.
Satisficing has helped me realize there’s not one perfect way to do anything. You
can be a person of excellence without choosing perfectly, every time. And who
decides what perfect is anyway?
Satisficing is one more way I’m fighting perfectionist tendencies and embracing ease. I feel less stress when I don’t have to make the “perfect” choice, and I free up a lot of time I might have previously spent overthinking. I love a research rabbit hole as much as anyone, but sometimes I’ve just got to stop.
How to satisfice
So how did this self-identified, semi-obsessive maximizer change
her ways? Here are some tips I try to follow when a decision needs to be made:
Limit the time I spend or number of sources I choose for decision
research.
If I have time, I make the choice, but sleep on it before
implementing it.
Simply choose fewer things. How many whatsits do I really need?
Don’t waste time looking at options I can’t have. Often, I
can’t afford the “absolute best” of whatever it is I want or need. We’re gathering
info on remodeling the kitchen of our new home, and I already know not to look
at certain features because they’re simply beyond what we’re willing to spend.
Realize in six months I’ll have forgotten about all the
other options.
If it turns out the decision isn’t optimal, I can almost always
choose again. Yes, there may be frustrations or problems, but frankly, that’s
just life.
I can feel the difference when I start to veer from satisficing to maximizing—and it doesn’t feel great. I’m definitely happier exploring and savoring simple pleasures and everyday adventures than I am mulling over which sheets to buy for the new guest bed.
Are you a satisficer or a maximizer? What are some of
your decision-making tips?