Gina Barreca

Joy Waits for an Invitation

May 25, 2016

Photo courtesy Karin Henseler

“Unlike bad times, however, good times aren’t bullies that break down the doors and barge in. Joy and pleasure are, instead, excellent guests and, as such, they wait for an invitation. You have to open the door to life’s best moments; you have to invite them in and welcome them when they arrive.

“To be honest, I’ve always found that it’s best to make a big fuss when good times appear at the threshold. You want them to feel absolutely at home. You wouldn’t want them to feel that, while you’re happy enough to see them, you were expecting a little more razzle-dazzle. They might not come again. They depend on genuine hospitality. You wouldn’t want them to think they’d arrived too late, or were deemed insignificant, or were weighed and found wanting.”
—Gina Barreca, “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?”

Everyday adventures

Happiness A to Z--26 Things That Make Me Happy

May 20, 2016


“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”
—Guillaume Appollinaire

Just for fun, I arranged this alphabetical list of 26 things that make me happy. (Click on the highlighted words to go to a related post.)

  • Animals. Companions, friends and teachers. 
Miss you, Scout
  • Book stores. New, used, online—I’m not picky.
  • Chocolate. Yum. 
  • Drawing. Also known as sketching. 


  • Hugs. Few things feel better than a really good hug.
  • Internet. Font of information…and time waster. 
  • Journals. If I don’t write about it, did it really happen?
  • Kisses. Mwaah! (That’s supposed to be a kissing noise.)
  • Laughing. Right up there with hugs on the feel-good-o-meter. 
  • Massages. My back has been feeling a little stiff lately…
  • Naps. Say zzzzz… 
  • Orchids. A dangerous hobby. 

  • Pomegranates. Counting the months until pomegranate season. 
  • Quiet. Looking forward to some after our bathroom renovation is completed.
How do you like the new location for the tub?
  • Rocking Chairs. Rocking in one as I write this.
  • Singing. Love to listen to it, love to do it.
  • Tank. Need I say more? 

  • Underdogs. They have the best stories.
  • Vacations. I’m ready for the next one.
Walden Pond
  • Writing. Sort of a love/hate relationship, truthfully. 
  • Xmas. Hey, you try finding a happy thing beginning with X.
  • Yoga. Ommmm. 
  • Zone. As in getting in the, and sometimes as in escaping the comfort.
Tag, you’re it! What’s on your happy list? Please share in the comments.

Dorianne Laux

What We Don't Say

May 18, 2016

Photo courtesy Randy Storey

Introduction by Ted Kooser: After my mother died, her best friend told me that they were so close that they could sit together in a room for an hour and neither felt she had to say a word. Here's a fine poem by Dorianne Laux, about that kind of silence. Her most recent book is The Book of Men (W.W. Norton & Co., 2012) and she lives in North Carolina.

Enough Music

Sometimes, when we're on a long drive,
and we've talked enough and listened
to enough music and stopped twice,
once to eat, once to see the view,
we fall into this rhythm of silence.
It swings back and forth between us
like a rope over a lake.
Maybe it's what we don't say
that saves us.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©1994 by Dorianne Laux, “Enough Music,” (What We Carry, BOA Editions, 1994). Poem reprinted by permission of Dorianne Laux and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Boaty McBoatface

Link Love--Chaos Edition

May 13, 2016

For the past few days, our master bathroom has been torn up while we have our shower and tub surround rebuilt, and a new floor laid. As these things do, what started with a few tiles coming loose morphed into something much greater. Oh, well, after nearly 20 years, it’s time for a change. While I’m close to home supervising the work, comforting the cat (who’s having a nervous breakdown) and researching such fun home projects as “how to take wallpaper down” and “hanging a towel bar on ceramic tile,” here are some links that have kept me sane during the process:

Positively Present’s Dani DiPirro wrote this fine piece, “10 Things Happy People Don’t Do” for livehappy.com.  Don’t get stuck in a negativity trap.

“Happiness is not a goal or a dream, it is a state of mind” is the first of “Eight Forgotten Truths About Happiness.”


This story cracked me up: an online poll to name a new polar research ship in Britain results in a hilarious choice. While the research vessel won’t be named Boaty McBoatface, one of its remotely operated sub-sea vehicles will be.  

For those of you navigating midlife with me, this thought-provoking post by author Brene Brown notes that midlife is not about answers, it’s about living the questions.

Lucky or unlucky, today is Friday the 13th.  Check out these 13 fun facts about the day. 

I’ve spent far too much time giggling at the antics of Simon’s Cat:



OK, back to the chaos. Hope you have a very happy (and lucky) Friday!

Demolition of shower in progress

Ernest Dimnet

What Destroys Happiness

May 11, 2016

Photo courtesy Dikaseva
 “The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.”
—Ernest Dimnet