If you love to read, libraries and bookstores give your soul
a thrill. If you’re an artist, an art or office supply store sets all your
senses tingling. And if you love horses and riding, a tack store is a little
bit of heaven—a horse lover’s happy place.
Last Friday, my friend Marianne and I hit the road to
visit one such horse lover’s happy place: the Dover Saddlery store in Winter Park.
Dover is an English rider’s dream. I bought my very first
horse items from their catalog almost 12 years ago—and I’m still using them!
Dover sends out a couple of fat, drool-inducing catalogs each year, as well as
a couple of smaller sale catalogs. They opened the store in Winter Park in 2013 and I’ve been wanting to visit since then. When I got a flyer for a tent sale
Feb. 5-7, it seemed like a good opportunity to go check it out. Plus I need
a new helmet because mine is getting old…you know, any old excuse! Marianne was
willing to tag along and navigate, and she was looking for a new halter for her
mare, Glory.
When we arrived, sales girls handed us large, clear plastic
bags to toss our loot into, and we entered the tent excited to see what
bargains we could find. I was only slightly hampered by the fact that I don’t
really need anything, other than the helmet and maybe another pair of riding socks. That didn’t stop me from walking up every aisle and examining
tempting items like wicking riding shirts, horse blankets, small mesh hay
feeders, and yes, patterned socks.
When we were done with the tent, we still had the store
itself to explore. As soon as I walked in the door, I inhaled that leathery
scent that makes my blood pressure fall and all my stress melt away. When I
tell you that we covered nearly every inch of the store, I do not exaggerate.
(Marianne has been there before, but she kindly allowed me all the exploring
time I wanted.) Breeches, helmets, horse treats, more socks, grooming tools,
leather goods and saddle pads…the store was packed with items to tempt us.
Riding socks are a thing. |
Alas, they didn’t have a helmet that fit me properly in my
price range, so I’m still in the market. (I did learn that my head shape is
more round than oval—who knew?) However, I did find these lovely items:
Socks, gloves, and a purple pad--oh my! |
It was a pleasure to spend time with Marianne, and we talked horses to our hearts’ content. The
new horsey items were a bonus. I love my socks and Tank looks lovely in his new
purple pad.
Where is your happy place? How long has it been since you visited?
Loved this store display. |
Photo courtesy Mirko Delcaldo |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: The first two lines of
this poem pose a question many of us may have thought about: how does snow make
silence even more silent? And notice Robert Haight’s deft use of color, only
those few flecks of red, and the rest of the poem pure white. And silent, so
silent. Haight lives in Michigan, where people know about snow.
How Is It That the Snow
How is it that the snow
amplifies the silence,
slathers the black bark on limbs,
heaps along the brush rows?
Some deer have stood on their hind legs
to pull the berries down.
Now they are ghosts along the path,
snow flecked with red wine stains.
This silence in the timbers.
A woodpecker on one of the trees
taps out its story,
stopping now and then in the lapse
of one white moment into another.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry
Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also
supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.
Poem copyright ©2002 by Robert Haight from his most recent book of poetry,
“Emergences and Spinner Falls,” New Issues Poetry and Prose, 2002. Reprinted by
permission of Robert Haight. Introduction copyright © 2008 by The Poetry
Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet
Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do
not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
I’m glad you asked. Habits are the subject of Gretchen
Rubin’s (The Happiness Project) newest book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, which came out in paperback in
December. In it, she explores 21 proven strategies that help
people change their habits.
Why are habits so important? And what is the connection
between habits and happiness? One of the keys to happiness, according to Rubin, is an atmosphere
of growth, and creating good habits helps us to grow. She notes that 40 percent
of our behavior is repeated almost daily, and that “Habits are the invisible
architecture of daily life.” Once established, habits free us from decision
making, which preserves our self-control. Once a habit is in place, “We can
effortlessly do the things we want to do,” she writes.
Think about it. You probably get up at the same time every
day, eat a limited range of foods, and choose from a handful of leisure
activities. Cementing the habits you want would improve the quality of your
life and make you happier.
Rubin discusses a number of strategies to help you master
your habits—strategies including monitoring (“find a way to count it”),
foundation (first tackle the most obvious habits you want to change, such as
exercise, sleep, eating healthy or decluttering), scheduling (write it down and
be specific about when you’ll do it), and accountability (face consequences for
what you do and don’t do). But one of the most helpful things in her book was a
discussion of the Four Tendencies—the four general ways most people respond to
expectations. Different strategies work better for different tendencies. (You
can take Rubin’s quiz to find which tendency you are here.) I’m an Obliger: I respond well to outer
expectations, but don’t always meet inner expectations—in other words, if I
tell you I’ll do something, I’ll do it. If I tell myself I’ll do
something, I might not.
Rubin also discusses different ways to get started, whether
you begin with baby steps, with a clean slate (as at the New Year), or make a
sudden and major change to your habits (the “lightning bolt”), and many other
strategies to help you shape your habits. These include learning how to spot
loopholes, using distraction, and pairing something you like to do (read a
magazine) with the habit you want to establish (working out on a cardio
machine). She concludes the book by noting how “considering ourselves in
comparison to others” can help you understand yourself better and in so doing,
discover which techniques work best for you.
I found Better Than Before easy to read and filled
with practical advice on mastering habits. There’s just something I like about
Rubin’s down-to-earth style. I’ve used some of the strategies from Better
Than Before to establish a few happy habits of my own. I track my workouts
in my planner and hate to see more than one day go by without some type of
exercise noted (monitoring). I leave a glass near the coffee pot so I’ll drink
water when I get up every morning (convenience); and I hide the chips and
cookies so I don’t see them every time I open the pantry (inconvenience—I know
I could just not buy them, but I live with two people who would bring them in
if I didn’t). I also exchange lists of goals with a friend each week
(accountability). Armed with Rubin’s suggestions, I believe 2016 will be
better than before.
What are your happy habits? What strategies did you use to establish them?
We’ve nearly made it through the first month of a brand new
year. Have you been thinking about your goals and dreams for 2016? I have, and
I’ve begun working towards making them reality. Here are a few links that have
inspired me so far:
Laura Vanderkam fascinates me. She has four children, and
she’s ridiculously productive as a writer and speaker. I do know how she
does it, because she writes often about the intricacies of combining work
and family on her blog, and has also written a book called I Know How She Does It, (which I haven’t read yet). There are several bits of useful
information about making the most of your time in “14 Time Management Strategies From Highly Productive People.”
Click here for a list of 100 ways to do something nice for
someone else. As blogger Dani DiPirro writes, “We all have the power to do something kind
for others, to make the world a better place by taking positive action….”
Laure Ferlita pointed me in the direction of “12 Things I AmToo Wise For.” I liked the author’s use of “wise” rather than “old,” because,
as she notes, “Wisdom is affected by your own experiences, preferences and
thoughts. You can be wise at any age.” While I’m not young anymore, I
don’t feel like I’m old either. This
reminded me a little of “Just (Don’t) Do It.”
Do you want 2016 to be your most productive year ever? This
interview with Spark Planner creator Kate Matsudaira is full of great
information.
Five science-based habits that will make your brain happy. I
did the last one this morning!
It’s the end of January and many people are already struggling with their goals and resolutions. In “The Great Myth About Getting in Shape (and Every Other Goal),” David Cain explains why trading
quality of life now for quality of life later isn’t sustainable. As he writes,
“We’re too interested in keeping our lives enjoyable. You cannot voluntarily
make all your days worse for months in the name of optional rewards in the
future. A good goal has to improve your life now, and nearly every
day between now and the final result. The long-term reward is never going
to drive you to keep living a life you don’t like in the short term.”
And just for fun, sing along with Adele as she sings along with the
radio (and James Corden).
Happy Friday!
Photo courtesy Ulrike Mai |
Introduction by Ted Kooser: This column is more than
ten years old and I've finally gotten around to trying a little origami! Here's
a poem about that, and about a good deal more than that, by Vanessa Stauffer,
who teaches writing at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan.
Lessons
To crease a sheet of paper is to change
its memory, says the origami
master: what was a field of snow
folded into flake. A crane, erect,
structured from surface. A tree
emerges from a leaf—each form undone
reveals the seams, pressed
with ruler's edge. Some figures take
hundreds to be shaped, crossed
& doubled over, the sheet bound
to its making—a web of scars
that maps a body out of space,
how I fashion memory: idling
at an intersection next to Jack Yates High,
an hour past the bell, I saw a girl
fold herself in half to slip beneath
the busted chain-link, books thrust
ahead, splayed on asphalt broiling
in Houston sun. What memory
will she retain? Her cindered palms,
the scraped shin? Braids brushing
the dirt? The white kite of her homework
taking flight? Finding herself
locked out, or being made
to break herself in.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2015 by Vanessa Stauffer, “Lessons,” from third coast, (Winter, 2015). Poem reprinted by permission of Vanessa Stauffer and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.