Eric Hoffer

Feeling Hurried

September 04, 2013


“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else.”
—Eric Hoffer

Armchair travel

Where I Went This Summer (Reader’s Edition)

September 02, 2013


I used Grammarly to grammar check this post because it never hurts to have another set of eyes proofread your work, even if they’re automated!*

Well, it’s Labor Day today in the U.S., and that marks the unofficial end to summer. I’m sad to say that I didn’t literally get to go on vacation. So far in 2013, my travel has been limited to family visits. I haven’t explored any place new or exciting…so it’s a good thing my reading has taken me all over the world! While my passport languishes and my suitcases gather dust, here are a few places my bookshelves and library card have taken me:

The island of Crete, courtesy of Mary Stewart’s The Moon-Spinners.

Roqueville, on the Cote d’Azur, via Spinsters in Jeopardy (Ngaio Marsh).

Toronto, Ontario and Prince Edward Island, because of L. M. Montgomery’s published journals (I read the third volume of The Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery—it was the only one my library had). Montgomery was the author of the Anne of Green Gables series, and had already created in me a burning desire to visit Prince Edward Island someday.

Eudora Welty’s Mississippi, where I attended a Delta Wedding.

Kishinev (now called Chisinau), Moldavia via the letters in From Newbury With Love (incredibly touching book and one of my favorite reads all year).

Guatemala, Mexico, Ecuador, Chile, Paraguay and Argentina, with Amy Elizabeth Smith’s All Roads Lead to Austen. (More about this book in an upcoming post.)

France and England, where I swashbuckled all over the place with The Three Musketeers (Alexandre Dumas).

I actually spent quite a lot of time in the United Kingdom this year—making stops in Crampton Hodnet (in the book of the same name by Barbara Pym), Edgecomb St. Mary (Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand), Newbury (see above), London and Cornwall (Jacqueline Winspear’s Messenger of Truth), among other fictional and real destinations.

So you see, when time and/or finances don’t permit me to explore the world firsthand, I turn to books to satisfy my craving for travel. And now, as I finish this post, I’ll be returning to rural Appalachia with Barbara Kingsolver’s Flight Behavior.

Where has your reading taken you this summer?

*This post sponsored by Grammarly, an online grammar checker and proofreading system.

Patricia Clark

Dividing It Up

August 28, 2013


If you had to divide your favorite things between yourself and somebody else, what would you keep? Patricia Clark, a Michigan poet, has it figured out. [Introduction by Ted Kooser.]

Fifty-Fifty

You can have the grackle whistling blackly 
        from the feeder as it tosses seed,

if I can have the red-tailed hawk perched
        imperious as an eagle on the high branch.

You can have the brown shed, the field mice
        hiding under the mower, the wasp’s nest on the door,

if I can have the house of the dead oak,
        its hollowed center and feather-lined cave.

You can have the deck at midnight, the possum
        vacuuming the yard in its white prowl,

if I can have the yard of wild dreaming, pesky
        raccoons, and the roaming, occasional bear.

You can have the whole house, window to window,
        roof to soffits to hardwood floors,

if I can have the screened porch at dawn, 
        the Milky Way, any comets in our yard.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2004 by Patricia Clark, whose forthcoming book of poetry is Sunday Rising, Michigan State University Press, 2013. Poem reprinted from She Walks into the Sea, Michigan State University Press, 2009, by permission of Patricia Clark and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2013 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Change

Getting Ready for What Comes Next--Beyond the Empty Nest

August 26, 2013


As you can imagine, the past few days—without our son—have been…different. Even though I looked forward to this day, planned for it, prepared for it, I underestimated the impact of that empty bedroom. That bedroom that still smells like him….

OK, enough of that.

For more than 19 years, Nick has been my first priority in most things, and suddenly—pfft—he’s gone. I’m not feeding, clothing or supervising him. Now if he sleeps in and misses class or lives like a slob in his dorm, I don’t have to do anything about it! It’s time to finish letting go, a process that started when he climbed, crying, out of the car to go to his first day of preschool.

Just as in any life transition, I expected a period of adjustment. Here are some things I’m finding helpful in my transition—you might also find them helpful during a transition of your own:
  • Scheduling things to look forward to—lunch with a friend, date night, a day off.  
  • Keeping busy with my normal routine, and even throwing in a few extra activities. That way I don’t have time to sit and mope.
  • Allowing myself to feel sad or lonely when those feelings come over me. I acknowledge my feelings, then let them go. Soon enough, more positive emotions replace these negative ones as I revel in not having so much responsibility for another person.
  • Not concentrating on the full scope of the change (he’s gone—maybe forever!), but enjoying the smaller, positive details (the kitchen is so clean after dinner!).
  • Talking with those who are going through or have recently gone through the same change, including my husband. I have several close friends whose children have left home for college, and I ran into a volunteer at my library bookstore who just took her daughter to college last week. We spent a few moments comparing what situations made us teary-eyed before wishing each other luck with the transition.

Like so many life changes, attitude makes a huge difference, and here I’m on solid ground. I’m mostly excited about what’s happening right now. I want my son to grow up and be on his own—that has always been my goal, and the fact that he is already quite independent is a credit to us. I’m looking forward to the extra time, emotional and physical energy I’ll be able to devote to other interests—to my husband, my writing, my horse, even my house. I’m choosing to see this as a time of exploration, adventure and rebirth. I’m eager to see what comes next.

What do you do to cope with the big transitions in life?

College

For Nick on Move-In Day

August 21, 2013

We move our son into his college dorm this afternoon, so here are some fitting words from Theodor Geisel, otherwise known as Dr. Seuss:

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away! 
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own and you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”