Photo by Shamblen Studios on Unsplash

The advertisements and marketing emails are everywhere: Mother’s Day is coming. And for those of us who no longer have our mothers with us, this can be a painful time of year. Rather than hide from it, I’ve been thinking about what we can do to enjoy the day. Here are four ways we can celebrate Mother’s Day if our moms are no longer with us. 

Celebrate the women in your life who fill a mothering role for you

I’m lucky to have a few cherished older women in my life I still look up to. My mom’s twin sister, my stepmom, and even my high school creative writing teacher who I’ve remained in touch with for 40+ years. These women continue to inspire me and love me unconditionally, and even though I don’t need advice from them very often anymore, I know I could ask them for it and hear something of merit.

Celebrate any new moms you know

In our family, we have two new moms: our niece, Jennifer, and our nephew’s wife, Kelly. Both are navigating the first six months of their new roles, and both are the kind of women I’m proud to call family. Their strength, humor, and love will serve them well as moms. I’m excited to watch a new generation of parents in our family!

Remember with gratitude all you loved about your mom

Until recently, I found it too painful to think much about my mom and our life together. That is slowly changing, and I’m starting to be able to remember fun times we shared, and look back with gratitude for her presence. I so wish she could see our new home and talk over my plans for changes and updates—we both would have enjoyed that immensely!

If you’re a mom, celebrate yourself!

I am a mom, and it’s been one of the most challenging and mind-blowing roles of my life. I made many mistakes (still do) but I’ve loved being a mom and am grateful for the experience. I’m also grateful for the chances for personal growth being a mom provided—I know I’m a better, stronger person because of it. 

Miss you, Mom

I miss my mom, and I know I was lucky to have a caring mother and a good relationship with her—not everyone has that blessing. Whatever your relationship with your mom, good or bad, whether she is present or gone, I hope you have a happy Mother’s Day!

If you feel comfortable, share one happy memory of your mom in the comments!

P.S. If you still have your mom, give her some extra love this year on Mother’s Day!